My final point is to take things easy. Over the previous nine points I’ve presented a kind of ideal. If you follow everything I’ve said, then you’ll certainly be able to get rid of stuff. But even I can’t claim to stick to all this advice all the time. Just take the points that feel right to you and implement them as far as seems reasonable.
Anything that you find yourself worrying about regularly may find you suddenly wanting unrealistic changes.
When you suddenly get enthusiastic about a new idea, or about making a change—it’s easy to try to do too much too quickly.
Perfect—an ideal study! So functional. A real man’s room. If only I had a room like that. I could enjoy being at home then. But with a house this size it’s not possible. But why do the children have their own rooms while my study is just this little corner of our bedroom? Study management’s not going to sort this place out. It’s just piles of documents and books around a desk. If only the house was bigger… Ah well… This is all I’ve got.
Oh dear! Why are you so badly organized? Your sister’s so neat and tidy. And people say I’m good at storing things too. In fact, none of my relatives is like you at all. Every time I come here, I find things all over the floor. Necessary? All of them? Well shouldn’t you tidy them up a bit, then? Don’t be cross! OK. I won’t touch them. I certainly don’t want to be blamed again if you lose something. OK, OK, I’m going. I do apologize, your ladyship. I was getting above myself.
That office we went to today was so spacious. Everybody had a large desk and their own computer. It was like something in a TV drama. With desks that size, people can put all their documents away, so the place is bound to look neat. But here? Just one file cabinet between two. Aargh! The pile of documents from the next-door desk has collapsed onto mine. He’s so messy. But I shouldn’t criticize others. I’m surrounded by great walls of documents myself. I can only just manage to find space enough to do my work. If only they’d give us bigger desks… There’s no point even trying to be organized with these.
Full of stuff we don’t use… I think I’d better sort things out a bit. “The moment you notice something unnecessary, get rid of it.” Mm… OK. I’m going to get this done now… Mm… I’ve only got one of these plates left. It’s a shame—I always tried to look after them. But there’s no point keeping this one now. What about this bowl? We used it a lot for snacks with beer—put a bit of fish in there, it looks very nice. But he doesn’t drink much these days, so we don’t really use it now. I think I’ll throw it. Oh dear… I’ve been at it for two hours already and I’ve only managed one side of the cupboard. I’ve had enough. I’m exhausted. I’ll do the rest another time. Getting rid of stuff takes such a lot of energy.
When I was talking about storage and organization methods, I mentioned the danger of “borrowing” other people’s approaches. Everybody lives in a way that’s easy for them. Without being conscious of it, we always choose the method that’s gives us least trouble. We may feel that other people’s values make sense, but it’s not going to be easy to do exactly as they suggest—and if we try too hard, we’re almost bound to fail.
In Situation 2, the daughter is discarding things in her own way, but the things she regards as necessary seem to be in a jumble. The mother doesn’t like this lack of order. She wants her daughter to organize her house in a way that she regards as “proper.” The daughter agrees that things should be done properly. But for her, disorder is natural. As far as actually getting rid of things that aren’t necessary is concerned, she’s doing as her mother says. But the mother is after “perfection.” So the daughter gets cross and they have an argument.
As for Situation 1, anybody who is capable of keeping a study space neat should have managed it long ago in the corner available. This man’s failure is not because of limited space. It’s simply a question of not doing it.
It’s the same with the person in Situation 3 and the piles of documents around the desk. Rather than hanker after the big desks she has seen in the other office, she should get on and halve the number of documents she has. But in my experience, if the difference between reality and your idea of “perfection” is too great, you may lose the will to be tidy, and just allow things to accumulate.
The tidying of the tableware shelves in Situation 4 wouldn’t be so bad if it was a regular day-to-day process. You open the cupboard every day, so whenever you notice something unnecessary just get rid of it. If you try to make everything “perfect” in one go, it will tire you out.
The daughter who is happy with disorder cannot be the mother who wants order. Someone whose work space is the corner of a room will never be the master of a huge study…
To think about what to get rid of and how you relate to the things you possess—this, as I‘ve said, is to really think about how you live your life.
Lifestyles have to allow people to be themselves. There’s no point trying to do the impossible. What can’t be done quite simply can’t be done. Someone on an unrealistic diet will end up relapsing and wiping out any effect the diet has had. A weight regime has to suit you: give up sweet drinks, but keep on eating chocolate; don’t limit your eating, but always walk to the station. In other words, don’t aim for perfection. A regime that fits you may take a bit of time, but it’s more likely to work.
Think of this as your “stuff” diet.