Casper followed me from the bedroom and into my bathroom, weaving between my legs as I stood before the mirror to get ready for the night. I loaded thick layers of mascara and painted wings over my eyelids as he meowed at my feet. It was as if Casper knew where I was going and didn’t like it one bit.
Earlier, Gramps refused to talk about the letter and only mentioned he was tired. Both of us had remained silent throughout dinner, our thoughts straying to the letter, wondering who wrote it, and what it meant for us. Gramps didn’t have the answers, and I’d never seen him more flabbergasted and panicked, which only worried me more.
I arrived at Voodoos late, half-past ten, and the place was packed. My gaze latched onto Monday’s bright red hair, and I squeezed through the crowd, failing miserably at avoiding bumping shoulders with anyone. The majority of the crowd was bunched together at the dartboards in the corner, adjacent to a large chalkboard hanging over the brick wall.
Adora was seated in the corner of the room over a high-top stool with chalk between her fingers, her long legs crossed, and eyes on Kane.
Despite what happened in the dressing room, I still wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. She’d only mentioned she didn’t want to see Kane and me together, and I’d shown up and didn’t think twice if she’d be here or how my coming here would make her feel, though I only saw Kane as a friend.
I paused in the middle of the floor, scanning the crowd, mostly made up of Sacred Sea. I felt out of place as people shoved past me, and my nerves bubbled to the surface.
“Fallon!” Fable called out when her gaze found mine from across the room. Her long and spiraling brown hair swayed above her hips as she walked toward me with her palms up at her sides. “Maverick is kicking Kane’s ass, and Kane is losing it,” she filled me in as she walked me to where a group of people crowded around. “Kane always wins. Every tournament, never fails,” she went on, and I couldn’t help but look for the Heathens—to look for Julian.
If it were at all possible, I could physically feel my heart sinking with every face my eyes crossed. It turned cold inside my chest. He wasn’t here, and I returned my gaze to Fable and forced a smile.
The others greeted me while Kane threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest. “Oh, you’re in trouble now, Mav. My good luck charm has arrived,” he called out to Maverick, and his hot and booze-filled breath spilled from his lips. I let my arms hang awkwardly at my sides, waiting for him to let me go, and eventually, he did.
“Kane, just throw the dart already,” Adora said through a sigh with a wave of her hand.
The rest agreed, shouting over the music and loud conversations. I sat beside Monday and Fable at the bar, watching as Kane straightened his form, pinched the dart between his two fingers with a squinted eye, and lifted his chin, serious mode activated.
Monday tilted her head toward me with her attention still on Kane, waiting for him to throw a dart just like everyone else. “Want a drink?”
I looked back, and Phoenix was staring at me from the corner of his eye with the bar’s phone wedged between his shoulder and head, pouring beer into a frosty mug.
“Bartender looks busy,” I pointed out, afraid. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to drink, but I’d never had to order one before. I didn’t know how. Like pumping gas for the first time, or summoning a taxi. Do I wave my hand like in the movies?
“Oh, nonsense.” Monday turned and leaned over, planting her elbows on the bar. “Barkeep, ya busy or what? Get my girl a drink.”
Phoenix dropped the mug on the bar in front of a customer, collected cash, and hung the phone back on the receiver before he spun to face me. His fingers gripped the edge of the bar when he leaned over. “What can I get ya?”
“A beer?”
“You’re sure?” His yellow eyes crinkled above his black mask. “What kind?”
I shrugged and pointed toward the place where they were poured. “One of those.”
He twisted his head back for a moment, and when he looked back up, humor swam in his eyes. “You want a machine pouring beer?”
“Stop messing with her and just get her a Gin and Tonic,” Fable intervened, then turned to me with her eyes skyward. “Ignore him. It’s like they don’t know how to talk to people,” she said, loud enough for him to hear, and he slid his gaze back to her.
The group went up in a roar, and I craned my neck around Fable to see that Kane had hit a bullseye, pulling in the lead over Maverick.
My drink arrived, and I sat silently in the corner as they all mingled. Kane, the dart champion, moved on to his next opponent, sliding winks and smiles my way every now and then. Even though I’d come under false pretenses, I didn’t think it would be like this, spending the night in the corner, watching him play as the girls drank and laughed freely. The rest of the guys threw banter back and forth, and I stuck out like a sore thumb, not belonging and feeling so out of place.
The music went from classic rock to party music, and a DJ replaced the band, turning the space before the stage into a heated and sweaty dance ground. There was a shift from the dartboards to the dance floor, but Kane was still high on his winning streak, and only his friends were left to watch.
“I’ll beat any of you motherfuckers!” he shouted, smashed by this time. His fingers moved around the bar. “I already beat your ass, and your ass, and your ass…” he rambled, pointing at each person he’d won against, but then his finger paused, and his smile turned from sloppy to devious.
I looked to where his finger landed, and in front of the door of the bar, the crowd parted to show three Heathens who’d just walked in. Julian, Beck, and Zephyr.
The top half of Julian’s face was covered in a mask like a phantom, his beautiful mouth on display. The same mouth I’d kissed. His gaze picked me out amongst the crowd, and everything inside me lit and lifted, laced in a crazed high. But the look in his was the complete opposite.
Julian’s eyes were cold, detached, empty.
Kane continued, “And, Julian Blackwell,”—the chatter faded, and everyone’s heads turned toward the Heathens who stood with their masks, dark coats, and impervious exterior— “Let’s face it, you already lost.”
Sacred Sea members snapped their mouths closed, the patrons of the bar waited on the edge of a breath.
Julian smiled, tilting his head to the side to hide it, but I still caught it. It was so quick and easy, it jumped like a living thing. He wordlessly took a seat at the bar with the other two as if Kane Pruitt wasn’t worth a syllable. Phoenix slid Julian a drink across the bar top, and he caught it before he tore his eyes from mine.
If Julian was bothered by Kane, he didn’t show it, and the night we shared hadn’t affected him either. He hadn’t said hello to me, not even a wave or acknowledgment in my direction.
The rest of the bar fell back into their mingling and dancing, and Kane seemed disappointed, frustrated even by Julian’s reaction, or lack thereof, which made two of us. Kane snatched his glass from the bar beside me and chugged it all in one gulp, then slammed it back down and snapped his finger in the air, ordering another.
“Fallon, it’s your turn,” Kane said, pulling me up from the barstool with darts piled in one sweaty palm.
I shook my head. “I’ve never played before.”
“No, I’m playing against myself.” He positioned me in front of the wall under the dartboard with his hands on my shoulders. “You just stand there and look pretty.”
At first, I didn’t understand. Not until Kane started walking backward and everyone was staring at me, some with worried glances, others with humor.
“No way,” I said, taking a step out of the zone and walking back to my chair.
Kane dropped his head to the side and lifted his dart-holding hand. “Oh, c’mon. Don’t you trust me? Adora, you trust me, right?” And Adora shook her head with a verbal hell no. Kane appeared annoyed, and his entire body leaned to one side, the invisible force of alcohol. “Adora, get under the dartboard,” he ordered.
Adora shot me a worried expression. Her gaze turned to Kane, a knowing glance passing between them. Adora sank from the chair to her feet, the bottom hem of her bohemian-style dress dropped to the floor as she walked nervously to the wall with terror in her eyes. It was as if Kane had complete control over her and she had no choice.
“Fine, I’ll do it,” I jumped in, unsure why. For some reason, I wanted Adora to trust me. I wanted her to know I wasn’t the girl she thought I was, that I wasn’t here to make her life miserable or take anything away from her—that I could be a friend, or at least try.
“I’ll do it,” I said again, walking in front of the board. Relief washed over her expression as she moved back to her barstool.
“That’s my girl!” Kane praised, then licked the tip of the dart.
With my heels on, my head reached about four inches below the bullseye, which he’d been nailing all night. Chances were, he wouldn’t hit me, but it still didn’t stop my anxiety from creeping in and my palms from sweating.
Then I felt the weight of something heavy sitting on my chest. I wanted to run my palm down the front of my pleated shorts, but I couldn’t move. I attempted to turn my head to the side, unable to watch, but I was stuck in place. I had no control over my limbs, my movements, almost as if a force of magic bound me to the wall, keeping me here, and Kane flashed me a wicked smile.
My anxiety spiraled, my breathing turned shallow, and my gaze hit Julian, who was sweeping across the bar swifter than a vulture. Before Kane had a chance to throw the dart, Julian appeared behind him and plucked it from his hand.
“Playing against yourself proves nothing. Play me.” His voice commanded the attention of all.
The chatter ceased and everyone watched, gripping anything closest to them.
And I still couldn’t move! I was fucking trapped. All I could manage was to blink, swallow, and focus on my breathing to make sure I still was.
Kane turned, almost as tall as Julian, and stared at him for a moment with widened eyes. “You afraid for her, Blackwell?”
Julian’s mouth twitched. “The girl barely reaches the board. It doesn’t take much talent to avoid hitting her unless you’re aiming for her.” He looked over at me, and the dart squeezed inside his fist. “Release her,” he ordered with a nudge of his head.
Kane pointed at me and lowered his eyes. “No, she’s staying,” he cocked his head toward Julian, his finger turning into an up-right flattened palm, “Go for it, Heathen,” he challenged. “You make that shot, I’ll free her from my hold.”
Silence passed between the two of them. Julian clenched his jaw, and the veins in his neck popped. He was considering Kane’s words, and my eyes bounced from Julian to Kane, back to Julian, having no idea what was happening or what Kane’s words meant as my heart pounded hard against my chest.
“I do this, and you’ll let her go?” Julian confirmed. “You’ll free her from your hold?”
“Ab-so-lute-ly,” Kane sang and took a step back, hooking his thumb behind him. “But you have to do it from back there.”
By this time, more people had gathered as I stood under the dartboard, my stomach feeling like it had floated into my throat. A fat bead of sweat slithered down the nape of my neck. How did it go from everyone ignoring me to everyone staring at me? It was so hot, I wanted to shed my jacket, but couldn’t unglue myself from this position.
Zephyr took a step forward between the parting crowd. He stood taller than the rest, at least six foot four but just as lean, and lowered his head to whisper something to Julian. Zephyr’s blond hair fell from its slicked place and over his white mask as he looked up at me with bright lime-green eyes. Julian nodded.
Kane looked around the crowd, chuckling nervously. “Are you guys done kissing yet or what?”
The three of them broke apart when Julian took many steps back, keeping his eyes on mine. And the way he looked at me peeled away all my nerves. My panic dissolved, only hearing one distinct sound. The sound of a heartbeat. It beat so loud in my ears. Soothing. Steady. Stable. I focused on that. It granted me permission to relax and trust him.
Julian paused, at least twenty feet away, if not more, and I wanted to close my eyes but couldn’t.
Then he rolled the dart between his two fingers, and all that consumed my senses were the colors of silver and green as Julian and Zephyr zeroed in on me, feeling me, breathing me, touching me. They were everywhere as if they were standing only centimeters away.
Without warning, Julian flicked his wrist, and the dart pierced through the air between us. The room was so quiet that I heard the dart’s whistle before it disappeared with a quick thump! against the wall.
I stood frozen, unblinking eyes still linked to Julian’s, and waited for something to tell me to breathe because my mind could no longer put together a single command. Julian’s chest caved, and his eyes briefly closed before they blinked open to mine.
Relief. We breathed in at the same time but with twenty feet between us. Everyone else remained silent. A few had their jaw dropped open, eyes wide, and brows in the air.
“Congrats, Julian,” Kane said with a slow clap of his hands. “You see where you’re standing? That’s the closest you’ll ever be allowed to Fallon Morgan.”
Julian’s eyes narrowed with Kane’s words, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I was still standing under the weight of the dart, no doubt in the bullseye but too paralyzed to check. Julian secured his gaze to mine, and I felt him calming himself down through me.
Kane laughed, and my gaze dragged between the two worlds, the heartbeat still pounding in my ears. Time moved slow. And once Kane snapped his fingers, it sped and the bar fell back in tune. The weight slid off me. My muscles melted with the freedom, and my body felt as if it had run miles upon miles.
Julian gave me the same apologetic look he’d given me in the Devil’s Playground, the one he’d given me when we’d said our goodbyes in the woods. His look told me he was about to disappear again, and I shook my head, but it did no good. He still turned away, and I was too weak and spent to use anything to stop him—my voice, my arms, my feet.
Julian threw his hand up to Phoenix, and Phoenix nodded from behind the bar.
Then the Heathens were gone.
Kane snapped his eyes back over briefly with the devil in his smile.
“That was freaking amazing,” Adora said, coming before me, breaking my narrowed gaze on Kane and peeling me from the spot under the dartboard.
She led me toward the bar as Kane talked to his friends, all their eyes on the path Julian just took when he’d left. “I can’t believe you did that for me,” she went on, but a solemn void took over the high Julian once gave. I wanted to run after him, to thank him and slap him and kiss him all at the same time. But Adora clung to me with a smile on her pouty lips under a wave of appreciation.
“It was nothing,” I said with a vacancy, my eyes locked on the door Julian had just walked through. I couldn’t just let him leave again. I had to talk to him. I had to know where his head was at after the night we shared.
Then my feet started moving in that same direction.
“Where are you going?” I heard Adora call out from behind me.
I didn’t know, but I couldn’t just let him leave like this.
My shoulders shoved through the crowd of people, and I swallowed down the anxiety threatening to come up. I had to get to him before he left. I had to know what the hell just happened, what was happening to us, and why he was avoiding me.
“Fallon!” Kane called out after me, but I kept moving.
I pushed open the double doors and stumbled out of the bar as the fresh cold air slapped my face. Julian’s head snapped around, along with Beck’s and Zephyr’s. All three stood, silver chains swinging around their necks.
“So that’s it now? No hello? No goodbye? You just come here to show off, and that’s it?” I called out, storming toward him with so much pent up adrenaline pumping through me. I could keep what happened between us in the dark, but refusing to talk to me or acknowledge me or pretending we were strangers was too far. Julian looked to Zephyr then back at me. “What was the point?!” I shouted, feeling used.
Zephyr yanked on Julian’s shoulder, pulling him back, whispering, “What’s the freak talking about, Jules?”
Julian shook his head, shock and a million lies in his eyes, Zephyr yanking back his shoulder.
“Fallon!” Kane called out from behind me, and the music from inside Voodoos spilled out into the parking lot with him. “Are they messing with you?”
Julian’s dark gaze locked on mine, his chest heaved violently, his fist clenching. Words flicked across his irises. Inside them, all the things he wanted to scream were there, radiating off him like an angry song.
Then he’d turned and walked away, leaving me in his cold spots.