XXXV

I told Juliana about the incident next day, because I was still a little worried about the child. I used to have the most dreadful dreams as a boy when my mother was alive, about being alone in the castle in the bailey with something coming for me through the gatehouse, something looking for me and half sensing where I was. I would rush up the stairs into the hall, knowing I would be safe if I could get there before the creature saw me, and reach the hall just in time, slamming the great door shut only to find the castle deserted. I would run up the stairs and search room after room, knowing that the creature had got in and was following me up to the very top. At this point I usually woke up to find my mother’s arms around me and her soft hair in my face which almost made up for the horror of the dream. I knew what bad dreams were like.

Juliana too was upset when I told her about the boy’s mother, and I knew she was thinking of her girls and whether they would be having dreams like that with no one to comfort them in the night.

‘At least they will have each other,’ I told her. ‘And Alice, she will be there.’

She clasped my hand and I could see that she kept back the tears with difficulty.

‘I should not have spoken harshly to Alice,’ she said.