LXXIV

This is where the accountant should draw the line.

The King is in debit to the tune of that thing he prized the most: an heir, a boy just married, on the verge of manhood. He has also lost two bastard daughters and a bastard son who was also a good general. In fact the loss of his generals seems to have hit him almost as hard as that of his son. He has lost a host of good men, a dozen pretty girls and possibly a couple of mistresses.

I am in debit to the King. He will find out that I survived and will come after me, even though I once saved his life. Some will say that I, the bastard FitzRotrou, sabotaged the White Ship so that my half-brother, heir to the Comte de Perche, should die and the bastard inherit. I don’t think the King will believe that, but he will feel that my presence at Barfleur was more than coincidence. What he will do is anyone’s guess, but I wouldn’t like to be in my shoes when he works it out.

Juliana is in debit to the tune of two daughters and a husband she never loved and, you might say, a lover she never husbanded.

Eustace will, of course, be blamed for having started it all. In addition to that, he too is in debit to the tune of a spouse and two daughters, and his reputation.

The Castellan of Ivry is in debit of a son’s eyes and the goodwill of all who read my writings.

The town of Barfleur is in debit because the Duke will never use the place again.

Today I learned, through a letter delivered to the abbey, that I am also in debit of a father. This grieves me more than ever I could have thought possible. He died three weeks ago. They sent for me, but did not know where I was. The word was I had been drowned.

It is not all debit, however.

On the credit side, Alice and our child (not yet born) are now at Mortagne. Alerted by a message from Juliana, my father summoned Alice to await me at his castle. Her note says that she sat with my father – it was an impostume in his chest – until the end. I am indebted to her for that. When I assume the title of Comte de Perche, she will be my Comtesse. Perche is a useful county to the Duke.

My partner, or rather ex-partner Haimo, is also in credit – not just because his books are in order, but because he has a wife now – Berthe, of course. I could see where that was leading. I have urged him to sell the business, buy Berthe a rich manor, and get the lad Bertrand – now rewarded by Haimo – to destroy my accountancy system. The religious authorities seem to have taken against the Arabic ciphers and the lewd concept of zero.

But enough of accountancy.

Juliana is in neither credit nor debit, she is in a nunnery. It is better not to say where, but I thought of her a great deal as I completed my History. ‘When we have to part, think of me as dead,’ she told me once. Even so, and in spite of promises made and anticipations of regret, I discovered where she was. It would be invidious for me to tell you how I found her, but I did, with difficulty and the help of Eliphas.