“I’ll have my cell phone with me, Mark. If you need me for anything, call. I’ve written the number down by the phone as well as Aunt Laura’s and Grandma’s.”
“I know their numbers. I’m not a baby. I’m fine, Mom.” With a dour expression, Mark opened the refrigerator and inspected its contents. Finally he chose an apple to eat and closed the door. Taking a bite, he added, “Really.”
“I know. The doctor has been pleased.” After he had played at the hospital the week before, she had made sure he had gone to his therapy session with Dr. Martins to make sure everything was all right.
“See. What have I been telling you. It’s not like you haven’t left me alone before. I’m sixteen. I can stay by myself.”
“Okay. I’ll stop worrying,” Kathleen said, even though she knew in her heart that would be impossible.
Mark grinned. “That’ll be the day.” He bit into the apple again.
Kathleen stepped out into the middle of the kitchen and did a turn, the soft silk dress billowing about her knees. “How do I look?”
“Beautiful, Mom. Green is your best color.”
Mark tossed the half-eaten apple into the trash can, then began rummaging through the pantry. Kathleen noticed his favorite shirt needed a button and several new stains donned the front. She started to say something when the doorbell rang.
Mark grabbed some cookies and said, “I’m out of here.”
Kathleen answered the door as her son pounded up the stairs as though he were a member of an elephant herd. She greeted Jared with a smile.
“Everything okay?” One of his brows rose at the sound of Mark’s door slamming closed.
“Just Mark being his usual graceful self. He’s growing so fast sometimes I wonder if he knows what to do with his arms and legs. He—” Kathleen’s voice trailed off into silence as Jared produced a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses from behind his back.
“For me?” she asked, more in wonderment than in query.
“Are there any other ladies living here?”
She shook her head, her throat contracting at the gesture. “How did you know yellow roses were my favorite flowers?” She took them from his outstretched hand, cradling them to her while smelling their sweet fragrance.
“A certain young man who is all arms and legs told me.”
She remembered the special occasions John would bring her yellow roses. After he had died, she hadn’t thought she would ever receive them again from a man—a man she had come to love dearly.
“May I come in?”
She laughed, realizing she blocked the entrance. Stepping to the side, she took another deep breath, the roses perfuming the air.
Jared strode into the living room without another word.
Puzzled, Kathleen followed. “Don’t we have to be at the hospital soon?”
“Yes, but I wanted to talk to you in private before we go. Why don’t you put the flowers in some water first?”
“Fine. I’ll be right back.” Kathleen hurried into the kitchen and found a crystal vase.
After filling it with water, she unwrapped the cellophane from around the bouquet and began to arrange the flowers in the vase. Something caught the light and glittered. She searched the roses and discovered a diamond ring, square-shaped, tied to a thornless stem. With quivering fingers, she loosened the yellow ribbon and nestled the beautiful one-carat diamond ring in her palm. She shook so much she had to steady her hand with her other one.
“Will you marry me, Kathleen Somers?”
His deep, rich voice penetrated the quiet of the kitchen. With tears welling in her eyes, she spun about. One tear rolled down her cheek as she offered him a smile. Her throat was so tight all she could do was nod.
Jared covered the space between them in three quick strides and drew her into his arms. “I love you and I want you to be in my life, in my children’s lives.”
Tears of joy continued to flow as she stared at the beautiful ring cradled in her hand. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
“From the beginning I knew you were special. Getting to know you these past months has only reconfirmed that feeling. Hannah and Terry think the world of you. Their father does, too.”
She lifted her gaze to his and saw in his expression the love he talked about. “I never thought it was possible to be so lucky twice in my life. After my husband died, I had resigned myself to living alone. You have changed all that.”
Jared took the ring and slipped it on her left hand, then framed her face. When his lips settled over hers, all her love went into the kiss. It was as though a choir of angels surrounded them, their voices raised in glorious song.
When he pulled back, he combed his fingers through her short hair. “We have a lot to talk about, but right now we have a banquet to go to. If I wasn’t being honored as the doctor of the year, I’d rather stay right here kissing you.”
That thought sent a delicious streak down her length. “But since you are, we’d better get going. We wouldn’t want anyone to worry that you weren’t going to show up.”
Jared chuckled, hooking his arm about her shoulder. “I did threaten Dr. Curtis that I wouldn’t.”
“You should feel honored the hospital is naming you doctor of the year.”
“I am. But I told Dr. Curtis all they had to do was give me a plaque for my office.”
“To go with the other two you’ve received.”
“Mrs. Somers, I do think you are trying to get me to blush.”
Kathleen glanced up at his flushed cheeks. “I think it’s working.”
“Yes, well, I’m going to tell everyone it’s because of the crisp, fall air.” He opened her front door.
Outside Kathleen took a deep breath of that crisp, fall air. Someone had a fire going to grill steaks. Her mouth watered. “I’m hungry. I hope they have all the speeches after we eat.”
“Of course, and mine will be blessedly short.”
“The masses have come to hear you speak on the future of medicine. You can’t disappoint us.” Kathleen slid into the front seat of Jared’s car.
Jared laughed. “The masses are coming for a free dinner.”
When Jared settled behind the steering wheel, Kathleen said, “You have underestimated your appeal, Dr. Matthews.”
He clasped her hand. “Tonight is special because you have agreed to be my wife.”
For a few seconds Kathleen allowed her doubts to invade her mind. Did he love her or the idea of her as his children’s mother? Was it fair to saddle him with Mark and his chronic illness? Then she looked at his handsome profile and shook the doubts from her thoughts, determined not to let anything spoil her evening.
Jared finished his short speech with a humble thank you. Rising, Kathleen joined in the loud applause that filled the banquet room. From the dais she scanned the audience and saw the same genuine appreciation for Jared’s accomplishments that she felt. After taking the plaque, Jared shook Dr. Curtis’s hand then made his way back to his seat next to her.
“Let’s get out of here,” he whispered.
“I do believe you’re blushing again, Dr. Matthews.”
“It’s the heat in this room. They must have the furnace cranked up real high.”
“I’m quite comfortable.”
“I bet you are. You didn’t have to get up in front of seventy-five people and make a speech.”
“Anyone who can handle twenty-five rowdy teenagers can handle a small crowd of seventy-five.” Kathleen gathered her shawl and beaded purse.
“Speak for yourself.” He touched the small of her back to guide her off the dais.
They began to make their way to the back of the room, but at every table Jared had to stop to acknowledge congratulations. Everyone wanted to talk to him, adding their pleasure at his engagement when they saw the ring on Kathleen’s finger. She found herself blushing at the compliments they received, as bad as Jared about being the center of attention.
When they finally escaped the banquet room, Jared retrieved their overcoats from his office and helped Kathleen into hers. “I promised Terry and Hannah I would bring you by tonight. We don’t have to stay long, but they wanted to see the ring on your finger.”
“So did everyone know about you proposing tonight but me?”
“Mrs. Miller saw me at the jewelry store buying the ring today. I knew I had to act fast when I couldn’t evade her questions about what I was doing. I had planned to take you out sailing and propose then.”
Kathleen halted her progress to his car, facing him. “I wouldn’t trade the way you proposed for anything.”
“Still I’m surprised you didn’t hear before I arrived. Your sister called me up and questioned me before I left to pick you up.”
“Laura knows?”
“As well as your parents.”
“I guess I’ll have to call them when I get home.”
“They’re waiting for a call, no matter how late you come home. They made me promise you would call them.”
In his car she said, “I love being the last person to find out something.”
“Blame Mrs. Miller. She’s the worst gossiper I know.”
“And a good friend of my mother’s. I’m sure she hurried home and called up Mom.”
“I think that’s how Laura told me she found out—from your mother.” Jared pulled out of the parking lot. “Crystal Springs isn’t a small town, but it’s not a large city, either. I sometimes forget how close-knit the community is.”
Ten minutes later Jared stopped in his driveway and rounded the front of his car to open the passenger door for Kathleen. He took her hand and held it while walking up the steps to his door. Before he had a chance to put his key in the lock, Hannah threw the door open.
“You said yes?” the young girl asked, an eager expression on her face.
Smiling, Kathleen nodded.
Leaping into the air, Terry cheered behind Hannah.
Hannah flung herself at Kathleen, her arms winding around her in a hug that threatened to overwhelm Kathleen in its enthusiasm. “I’m so glad. I just knew you would. Dad is the best.”
“I agree.” Kathleen peered at Jared, the gleam in his eyes seizing her in its depth. Just from a mere look she felt her insides go all mushy.
Hannah tugged Kathleen into the house. “I want to see the ring on your finger.” She grabbed Kathleen’s hand and lifted it toward the light so that her brother could see, too. “It’s beautiful. I got to help Dad.”
The thought of Hannah shopping for a wedding ring with Jared dissolved any reservations she might have had. She’d always wanted a larger family and now she would have it. She couldn’t ask for nicer children than Hannah and Terry. Everything would work itself out.
“I must say both you and your father have great taste.”
Terry clasped her other hand. “We made a cake to celebrate. Come on.” He began pulling her toward the kitchen.
Kathleen glanced back at Jared who shrugged and said, “I didn’t know anything about this.”
“It’s a surprise for both of you.” Hannah took her father’s hand. “Mrs. Davis didn’t even help us. I promised her I would clean up before she went to her room to watch TV.”
When Kathleen entered the kitchen, she stopped dead in her tracks, stunned. The room was spotless and the only evidence that anything had been made was the chocolate cake sitting in the middle of the table. Her eyes filled with tears at the sweet gesture from Jared’s two children.
“I don’t know what to say.” Kathleen swallowed several times. “Thank you, Hannah and Terry. This is the nicest thing you could have done for me.”
She slanted a look toward Jared who was as surprised as she was. He didn’t say anything. She could tell by his watery eyes and deep inhalations that he was having a hard time controlling his emotions as well.
“Come on. Cut the cake. I want some.” Terry dragged Kathleen toward the table where a knife and four small plates sat next to the cake.
“So do I.” Even though Kathleen tried not to have too many sweets, there was no way she wouldn’t eat some of this cake.
After slicing four pieces and putting them on the plates, she handed one to Terry then Hannah. She saved the last one for Jared who moved slowly to the table and sat next to her.
Composed now, he cut his first bite and brought it to his mouth. “Mmm. Delicious. This is the best cake I’ve ever tasted.”
“Oh, Dad, you’re just saying that.” Hannah delved into her piece and had half the cake gone in two minutes.
Terry didn’t bother to say a word. He was too busy eating. When he was finished, he looked up and asked, “Can I have another piece?” His chin was smeared with chocolate icing.
Kathleen gave him a napkin while she sliced him another small section. “I have to agree with your dad. This is great. I’d like to take some home for Mark. Is that okay?” she asked Hannah.
The young girl nodded, her mouth full of cake. She went to a drawer and removed some foil, then cut a big slice for Mark and wrapped it up.
For a minute everyone sat at the table, staring at the half-eaten cake, not saying a word. The feeling of family permeated the room, Kathleen’s heart swelling with the knowledge that soon they would all be a family.
She sighed. “Speaking of Mark, I’d better get home. I told him I would be back by ten.”
“And you two need to clean this up, then get to bed.” Jared rose.
“Do we have to? This is a special occasion.” Hannah’s mouth curved down in a pout.
“Yes. This may be Saturday, but we have church tomorrow.”
Hannah grumbled but stood. Terry ran his finger down the knife to get off some of the chocolate cake stuck on the blade, then popped the sweet lump into his mouth, making a loud smacking noise.
“I’ll be back soon. I expect you two to be tucked snug in your beds.”
Hannah turned the water on as Kathleen and Jared left the kitchen, Kathleen holding the piece of cake for Mark as though it was a treasure.
“I’m so touched by what those two did,” Kathleen said as she stepped out onto the porch. Not even the cold air could chase away the warm glow that cocooned her.
“So am I. I never imagined something like that.” Jared closed the front door, paused, shaking his head. “They continually amaze me.”
“I think that’s a given with children. They’re always doing the unexpected. Mark will enjoy the cake. He loves chocolate.”
Her house was only five minutes away. When Jared pulled into the driveway, she noticed the lights were off in Mark’s bedroom. “Do you want to come in? I think we should tell Mark together.”
“He already knows.”
“He does? I guess I was the last person to know your plans. What if I had said no?”
“I would have kept asking until I got the right answer.”
Even in the darkness of the car, Kathleen knew that Jared had flashed her an impish grin, his two dimples appearing. “Well, Mark doesn’t know what my answer was.”
“True. I can’t stay long, but I agree we should tell him together.”
She loved hearing him say the word together. It made the feeling she’d experienced in his kitchen deepen even more and confirmed in her mind that she was doing the right thing by accepting his proposal.
They walked side by side up to her front door. She unlocked it and went in first. Inside the sound of Mark’s CD player drifted down to her. He must be in his bedroom even though his lights were off. She was glad he was listening to his music again.
“I’ll go get him.” Kathleen hurried up the stairs, mindful that Jared’s gaze was on her the whole way up. That awareness sent a tingling sensation down her spine.
At her son’s door, she knocked. No answer. She rapped on the wood again. Still nothing. Heart rate increasing, she pushed open the door and entered. At first she thought the room was empty, then she saw her son and her stomach plummeted.
Mark huddled in the corner with his hands clasping his ears. Curled into a tight ball, he didn’t move when she switched off the CD player. Her legs shook as she crossed the room to kneel next to her son. When she placed her hand on his shoulder, he shrank away, whimpering.
Alarm shot through her. “Mark?”
“Make it stop. Make the voices go away.”
“I turned off the music.”
He shook his head violently. “No, I still hear the voices.”
From deep inside a calmness descended over Kathleen. She could deal with this. God was with her. “Mark, you need to come with me.”
“No, I can’t!”
Kathleen held out her hand. “I can make the voices go away. Just come with me.” She pitched her voice to a soothing level.
Mark bolted to his feet, his arms stiff at his sides, his hands balled. “I can’t! They’re waiting to get me.”
The hysterical ring to his declaration confirmed to Kathleen what she must do. “Okay, then why don’t you lie down. Relax.”
With eyes round he looked at his bed. “Can’t. Snakes are on it. Don’t want to die.”
She hated to leave Mark even for a moment, but she needed Jared’s help. She headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Mark’s voice was a shrill.
“I’m going to get someone to help me catch the snakes.” She knew it was useless to argue with Mark that there were no snakes on his bed. In his mind he believed it and that was all that mattered.
“Hurry.” Her son slid down the wall and curled himself into a tight ball, his hands clasped over his ears again, his face hidden.
Kathleen rushed to the top of the stairs. “Jared. Jared, I need you.”
He appeared at the bottom of the steps. “What’s wrong?”
“Mark’s having an episode. He’s hearing voices and seeing snakes. He won’t leave his room.”
“I’ll get my bag from the car and be right up.” Jared hurried out the front door.
Kathleen quickly made her way to her son’s room, relieved to find him still in the corner where she had left him. She called his name, but he didn’t respond. She decided to wait until Jared was there to do anything else. Moving closer, she watched Mark for any change.
Jared entered not two minutes later with the black bag he always had with him in case of an emergency. Mark didn’t move even when Jared said his name.
“I’m going to sedate him, then we need to get him to the hospital and figure out what’s going on,” Jared whispered so Mark couldn’t hear.
“He was doing so well.”
Jared prepared the injection while Kathleen monitored her son. When Jared was ready to give him the shot, Kathleen approached Mark.
“Honey, did we get all the snakes?” Kathleen asked, hoping to focus his attention on her.
Mark peered at his bed, his face screwed into a scowl. “No. They keep coming from under the bed.”
Jared managed to inject Mark in the arm while Kathleen hovered nearby in case her son resisted. Mark stared down at the needle being pulled from him. His wide-eyed gaze flashed back to Kathleen.
Shock registered on his face for only a few seconds, then he exploded, leaping to his feet and scrambling away from them and his bed. “Stay away from me. You’re part of them.”
“Honey, all that was for was to help the voices and the snakes go away. Relax.” Again she made sure her voice was level, calm.
“No, you poisoned me!” He began to dart for the door, stopped halfway there and spun about. “I can’t leave! Snakes are everywhere.” Frightened, he backed up into another corner and stood on tiptoes as though he was trying to get away from something crawling on the floor. “Make them go away!”
“How much longer, Jared?”
“Not long.”
Her son collapsed to the floor and hunched over, covering his head as though protecting himself. Slowly the rigid set to his body eased and he lay down on the carpeted floor.
“Let’s try to get him to leave now.” Cautiously Jared approached Mark.
Kathleen took her son on one side while Jared held him propped up on the other. They helped Mark to his feet, his expression dazed, his eyes unfocused.
Kathleen started to say something reassuring to her son, then decided that might set him off. Instead, she and Jared walked him from his bedroom and down the stairs, each step labored, with them supporting more and more of her son’s weight.
In the entry hall she snatched up her purse, wondering when she and Mark would be home again. One of the happiest days of her life was ending tragically.
The quiet comfort of the hospital chapel drew Kathleen. She pushed open the door and stepped into the sanctuary. Sitting in the front pew, she bowed her head and said, “Lord, thank You for being there for my son and myself. Thank You for Jared’s presence when I needed him most last night. With Your support I will make it through this latest crisis. Mark will get better.”
Kathleen settled back on the pew to take a few minutes to let the silence sink in. She was tired after a busy night dealing with Mark’s latest episode, but relieved to discover that it had been brought on because her son had stopped taking his medication. She would have to monitor that more closely, but she could do it. She could do whatever was necessary to help her son get better. She knew that now. Knowing the Lord was with her every step of the way made this emergency easier for her. Thinking back to the last time Mark had been in the hospital four months ago, she realized she was much stronger now due to her renewed faith.
Rising, she left the chapel, as refreshed as though she had rested for a few hours rather than a few minutes. She wanted to be there when Mark woke up this morning. Her son would stay in the hospital a couple of days to get his medication straightened out and for observation, then they would go home and begin again.
Out in the hall she saw Jared striding toward her. The scowl on his face set off an alarm in her. She waited by the double doors into the chapel.
“I thought I might find you here,” Jared said, taking her elbow and guiding her toward a waiting room across from the chapel.
No one was in the area. Bright sunshine flooded the room with warmth even though it was cold outside. The sterile furnishings didn’t offer any amenities. Kathleen remained standing, puzzled by the expression on Jared’s face.
“Is something else wrong with Mark?” she asked when Jared released his hold on her and began to pace the small room.
He stopped, spun about and plunged his hand through his hair.
“Wrong? Not now. Dr. Martins says he should be okay if he stays on his medication. I should have seen this coming. I could have prevented this.”
“Is that why you’re upset?” The calmness that had assisted her the evening before was firmly in place now.
“Don’t you think I have a good reason for being upset? I’m a doctor. I know people start to feel better and decide to stop taking their medication. They don’t think they need it anymore. I should have warned you, watched for the signs. Mark shouldn’t have had this relapse.”
Stunned by the vehement tone in his voice, Kathleen stared at Jared, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. While tending to Mark and making sure he got the care he needed, Jared had been composed, calm, professional. Now, however, he was as upset as though he personally blamed himself for everything that happened to Mark the past eighteen hours. She thought about how Jared’s wife’s death had taken a grave toll on him. She suspected he still blamed himself for what she had done to herself even though he hadn’t said anything about it in several months. In her happiness about his proposal she had pushed that to the back of her mind.
“You aren’t Mark’s keeper. You weren’t at fault. I’m through trying to blame someone for my problems. It does no good and can certainly do a lot of harm.”
His eyes clouded with an expression of agony. “I promised you I would help you. I should have seen it coming.”
Kathleen closed the distance between them and took his hands within hers. “Why are you so hard on yourself?”
“I’m a doctor,” he said, agitated, as though that would clarify everything.
“And you are only human. We can’t see into the future. We can only do what we feel is our best at the moment.”
“But I didn’t.” He pulled his hands from hers, his fingers delving into his hair as he backed away. “I’ve let you down and I’ve let Mark down.” He pivoted and left the waiting room.
Kathleen watched Jared stride down the corridor toward the elevators. Chewing on her bottom lip, she wished she could wipe away his pain. She wasn’t sure she could. She wasn’t sure if anyone could—only Jared. And she didn’t think he was ready to do that. He was still wrestling with his guilt over his wife’s death. He still blamed himself for her drinking problem. How can I ask him to take on a problem like Mark’s?
Her son’s illness was long-term and serious. She didn’t know when or if he would go into remission. She didn’t know when or if he would have another relapse. She did realize she would never knowingly add to Jared’s pain. He had taken care of his wife for years, dealing with her alcoholism, trying to make their marriage work, trying to give his children a good home, and the whole time feeling as though he had let his family down because he couldn’t fix his wife’s problem.
Instead of going back to Mark’s room, Kathleen walked to the chapel doors and went inside. She needed to do some soul-searching. She loved Jared with all her heart, but she wasn’t sure that getting married to her was best for Jared.
When her doorbell rang that evening, Kathleen drew in a deep, calming breath and headed to the entry hall to answer it. She knew it was Jared because she had asked him to come over. With a trembling hand, she reached out and touched the knob. Again she inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the throbbing ache in her heart.
When she swung the door open, she forced a smile of greeting to her lips. “That was fast.”
“I was on my way home when I received your call.”
The haggard lines about his face ripped through the composure she was trying to maintain. Jared had been at the hospital most of the night before and probably hadn’t slept more than a few hours, if that. When he looked at her, she saw exhaustion in his face, but beneath that she glimpsed his anguish. He had become a doctor to save the world and when he couldn’t, he blamed himself.
“Your call sounded urgent. Did something else happen to Mark?”
“No, when I left him at the hospital, he was awake and doing okay. We need to talk.”
He frowned, but didn’t say anything.
“Let’s sit in the living room.” Kathleen desperately needed to sit before her legs gave out. Without waiting to see if Jared followed, she walked into the room and settled herself in a chair across from the couch. Distance was important to maintain for what she had to say to Jared.
He slowly entered, stared at the large, empty sofa, then at her. He sat, clasping his hands together, his elbows resting on his thighs. “What do we need to talk about?” The question came out stiffly, each word laced with tension.
Her heart beat frantically against her chest. Her composure was quickly slipping away. She crossed her legs then uncrossed them, the whisper of denim sounding loud in the sudden silence.
Finally she realized the only way she could do this was to just do it. “Jared, I want to call off our engagement.”