She was standing at the entrance to his building, back to the gate.
‘How long have you been here?’
Nalini picked up her bag from the floor, shy all of a sudden. ‘Since nine. I thought you lot were up early.’
Abu was confused. ‘You’re waiting for me?’ It was already after ten. He was coming back from Karl’s to let his family congratulate him on his big day, then he would catch up with Mr. Transformed, who had said he needed some time to work out the details of Abu’s birthday programme. Nalini here, now?
‘I’ve been waiting anyway.’
Her expression changed and they were facing each other. Now it was Abu who felt there was nowhere to look, nothing to do. Nalini nodded. With purpose. Today they were going to speak.
‘Should we go somewhere? I mean, I need to go up soon, my mum will be disappointed, it’s my birthday and—’
‘I know that it’s your birthday.’
Abu’s thoughts seemed to make a U-turn and for a split sec there was nothing. Then he pulled her by the hand back from the small street to Euston Road. They crossed and walked towards the British Library, then past it where it was quieter. No one they knew would be here. Not this early. He was rushing, but with steady steps, not hectic, just determined. There was a green bit behind a small street and Abu motioned to the bench. When they sat there was nothing else to do but look at each other. And away. At each other. Away. They hadn’t said a word since they’d left.
‘Do you, I mean, can I ask you out?’
‘Out where?’
‘I mean, I don’t know.’ Abu’s eyes were pleading. Help us out here.
She leaned her head on his shoulder. ‘Everybody thought I’m so strong, I knew how to handle it. Brave, you know. That I was doing exactly the right thing.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You. I’m talking about you.’ When her head lifted he could see the tears. ‘And nothing. You did nothing.’
‘What do you mean?’ He had put his arm around her shoulder.
‘Nothing but breathe.’
He pulled her in and she gave in to his arms. When his hand touched her cheek it moved further, to her ear, to her neck. His face followed until he was close to her face.
‘And now I’m back. I can talk a whole lot, you know. Soon you’ll wish I’d just shut up and just breathe. Trust me.’ He was whispering in her ear.
‘Never,’ she replied. Louder than him. ‘But don’t just talk. Not all the time, anyway.’
He leaned in, his head tilting so he could smell her neck. The skin there. He had to put his mouth on it. His tongue moved upwards, found her lips. She kissed him. Back. Nalini. His head was spinning.