At dinner, Jack watched Amy carefully to see if she was still feeling off from her earlier dizzy spell, and it seemed obvious that she still wasn’t feeling herself. He didn’t say anything at first, not wanting to make her roll her eyes and insist she was fine. Besides, they were going to be saying goodbye for a few days, and he knew that was enough to make him act oddly.
It seemed silly for a weekend apart to be such a big deal, but it really was. By the time he got back from Wyoming, his career could be back on track, but their relationship might not be able to survive the time and distance that a real shot on the circuit would require.
Finally, though, Jack could tell that Amy was very distracted by something, and it wasn’t just her being worried or nervous about the weekend.
“What’s going on, Amy? You don’t seem like you’re actually here with me,” he told her, leaning in and grabbing her hand.
For the first time that night, she really seemed to look at him. He waited patiently to see what she’d say.
After a long silence, she finally opened her mouth. “I’m pregnant,” she said, in little more than a whisper.
The words rang in his ears as if she yelled them. She was pregnant? How could that be?
“But you can’t—” he started, but was unable to finish the sentence.
“I know,” she answered, her eyes wide with her own emotions.
He still couldn’t make his brain understand what she was saying. “You’re—”
“Pregnant,” she said again, even quieter.
Then it finally clicked. He broke into a huge grin and pulled her into a tight hug, almost lighting himself on fire when he leaned too close to the candle sitting on the restaurant table. “This is fantastic!” he said, not letting go of her. He couldn’t think anything beyond that.
Amy pulled away and searched his eyes with hers. He could see she was barely holding herself together. “Really, fantastic?” she said, shaking her head. “What about you moving to Wyoming and my job and I don’t even have health insurance and...”
Her voice drifted off and a tear slid down her cheek.
Jack wiped away the tear with one hand, his palm settling on her neck protectively. “We’ll figure it all out, Ames,” he said steadily, his blue eyes capturing hers.
He suddenly felt no doubt. Just pure joy. He was finally going to have the family he’d always wanted. Amy and their baby.
“Will you dance with me?” he asked, pulling her onto the dance floor and holding her close, his heart bursting with happiness.
* * *
I HAVE TO TELL HIM, Amy thought as they danced, but she couldn’t force herself to open her mouth. He was just so delighted that the words wouldn’t come out.
It would crush him to hear he might not be the father. This was what he’d always wanted, and the moment she said those words, she wouldn’t be able to take them back. So instead she held him close and wished with all her might: Please, please let this baby be Jack’s.
For the rest of the evening, every time she got her courage up enough that she was about to tell him, she’d see the smile on his face or feel the squeeze of his hand on hers and she would fall silent again. By the time he suggested dessert, she was so exhausted from her internal struggle that she told him she wasn’t feeling well—which was true, but not for the reason he thought—and they left shortly after that.
“I wish we could spend more time together this evening, but you probably need some rest, and I have an early flight tomorrow,” Jack told her as he settled behind the wheel of his truck.
Amy nodded, but she must have looked anxious, because Jack gave her another big smile. “Don’t worry, Ames. I know it seems overwhelming right now, but we’ll get everything sorted out as soon as I get back Tuesday.”
Tuesday. That was when she’d tell him about Armand and the possibility that he might be the baby’s father. She needed to tell Jack the truth. But she couldn’t tell him right before they parted ways for the weekend. He would have to be at top form if he was going to do well with Sam Evans in Cheyenne, and that was too important to put in jeopardy.
She couldn’t tell him this possibly devastating information and risk him being so hurt that he screwed up his chance to pursue his dreams.
After a quick goodbye, Amy was relieved to see Jack leave. She felt guilty about keeping this secret, but it was for the best. Amy sighed and went to her bedroom, but she knew there was no way she’d be going to sleep anytime soon. After a few minutes of aimlessly wandering around the tiny room she opened her laptop and checked her email as a desperate bid for a distraction, hoping she could find something to keep her mind busy.
And she found it, though it wasn’t at all what she’d been hoping for.
Amy stared at her computer in disbelief, clicking on the top email robotically, hoping the article wasn’t what she thought. The title splashed across the top of the webpage finally brought her out of her stupor and she grimaced.
Married Prince of Monaco Caught in Moroccan Love Affair.
She read the first sentence with mounting disgust.
Prince Armand of Monaco, married father of two, was photographed in an illicit relationship while on a diplomatic visit to Marrakech, Morocco.
After that, she could only skim, unable to read in depth the words that publicized one of the biggest regrets of her life. The tabloid seemed to revel in pointing out again and again that the man in question was married, and the woman an American travel writer by the name of Amy McNeal. They didn’t seem very interested in how the woman in question had been duped into thinking he was single and had dumped him as soon as she discovered the truth.
And he could be the father of her child, she thought, appalled. It had to be Jack’s.
The fact that Armand was a prince only made her annoyed. He’d mentioned his “royal blood” as if she should know what he meant, but she’d been too wrapped up in her loneliness and desperate need for affection to care, and now she only saw it as a cause for this article. If he’d been anybody else, she wouldn’t be reading this internet tabloid right now.
As Amy scrolled, she saw with a sinking heart the pictures mentioned in the first sentence. She stared at the photos and groaned, her hand slamming against the desk in anger. Damn Armand and his smooth talk. There were three photos, each one as suggestive as the last. Armand’s arm curled around her waist as they ducked into a cab, Armand’s lips to her ear as he whispered his beautiful lies, a kiss captured at just the right moment.
Or wrong moment, in Amy’s case.
Amy’s head filled with if-onlys.
If only she had known he was married.
If only she hadn’t been feeling so alone when he approached her.
If only she’d seen through his handsome face and sweet words.
Then her phone buzzed and she read the text, only to add another if-only.
If only Jack hadn’t found out this way.
She read the message again:
I’m coming back over. We need to talk.
He had told her on their first date that he’d created a filter to email him when one of her articles posted—it seemed it worked on anything with her name on it. And her name showed up in the article several times, painting her as a sexy seductress. He must’ve driven home and checked his email to find this piece sitting in his inbox.
He could be coming over for an entirely different reason, she thought, before shaking her head at her own wishful thinking. There was no other possible reason for him to drive back so soon after dropping her off, she was sure of that much.
Amy sent a text back telling him she’d be waiting outside, then steeled herself for whatever might come next.
He’d understand, right? These photos had been taken weeks ago, before they had reunited. Why the tabloid had waited until now to print them, she couldn’t say, but they were still before her time with Jack. She was sure he hadn’t been some monk waiting for her for the past decade, so he couldn’t expect that of her.
But the baby. She hadn’t meant to sleep with Armand and then Jack so close together, hadn’t planned for any of this, and now she needed to come clean and let him know the baby might be someone else’s. Would he reject her and the baby in disgust? She couldn’t blame him if he did.
Amy stopped the train of thought and walked into the cool evening. No point in arguing against phantom accusations. She needed to give Jack the benefit of the doubt, hope he would take it all in stride.
When his truck pulled up beside her in the driveway, though, Amy’s heart sank. Any hope for a sympathetic response to the article disappeared at the sight of his face. She’d known him long enough to be able to tell when he was angry or frustrated but trying to hold it together. From the looks of things, he wasn’t managing it particularly well.
Jack held up his phone, the picture of her kissing Armand covering the screen. “What’s this about, Amy?” he asked, his voice calm enough that the irritation was only a sharp edge on her name.
“It was before I came home,” she said, hoping that would be enough to help him relax. He had to know that, right?
“How long before?” he countered, as if he already knew the answer.
So he’d read the article and done the math. He’d realized she had been seeing Armand almost up until the day she left for Texas. Amy sat down on the gravel and waited for him to say what she was sure would come next.
“How long after you slept with him were you and I together in the barn? Days? Maybe a week?”
He was right, of course, but he didn’t even realize the half of it, and it was her responsibility to tell him. Before she could explain, though, he slumped onto the gravel beside her while leaving enough space so they wouldn’t touch. “Am I just your rebound while you get over this guy?”
“No!” Amy exclaimed automatically. After a moment, though, she realized that wasn’t entirely true. “That first night we were together,” she admitted, the words sticking in her throat, “I was still hurting from Armand’s betrayal, and I don’t know if things would have...progressed so quickly otherwise.”
She felt him slump beside her. “But after that,” she added quickly, “every close moment we had was just you and me. Armand was gone, and all that was left was my affection for you and my shame that I ever bought into his lies when such a good man was waiting for me here.”
He didn’t answer, didn’t say anything. Didn’t even move. So Amy just kept talking, hoping she could say something that would make Jack understand. “Right after I was robbed, I was feeling so alone and unhappy, but I hadn’t gotten up the guts to come home. Then this guy comes up to me with his flattering words, and I fell for them out of desperation. I was stupid and he was manipulative. I didn’t know he was married at first, and I never realized he was a prince.”
Amy paused again, but Jack said nothing. She wanted to look at him, but kept her eyes on the gravel. It was safer at the moment. “We were together for a couple of weeks before his true colors started to show. He was...not a nice guy,” she said, knowing she couldn’t do justice to the way he’d treated her. “It was only when I found out he was married that I wised up and bought my plane ticket. I flew home the next day.”
Jack gave a low whistle, and Amy blushed. She knew Jack had done the math again, and it definitely didn’t put her in a good light. This was when she had to say the rest. “And the baby—”
Before she could get out the rest of the words, Jack gasped and threw his face into his hands. It broke her heart to see him that way. “It’s not mine,” he said, his voice full of despair.
“I don’t know,” she responded, her voice quiet.
They sat there in silence for a long while, until she couldn’t take it anymore. “I didn’t plan for it to be like that, you know. I didn’t plan for any of this. But I don’t want to lose you, Jack.”
Her story done, Amy waited.
And waited.
Still, Jack said nothing. Just when Amy didn’t think she could take the silence any longer, Jack stood. Amy could hardly see him in the dark, but she watched carefully for any sign of his feelings. He didn’t seem angry, but he wasn’t looking at her, either. “You should probably get inside,” he told her, his voice flat. “It’s too cold to be out without a sweater.”
“What about you?” she asked, meaning so much in that sentence.
“I just...need time to think, okay?” he answered.
What could she say to that? “Okay,” she responded quietly.
“I’ll talk to you on Tuesday,” he said as he walked to his truck without a backward glance.
Her skin was goosebumped and she’d begun to shiver, but she waited until long after his truck disappeared before she went back inside.
* * *
JACK DROVE AWAY, but not toward his family’s ranch. Instead, he turned his truck toward open country, driving until he was surrounded by little more than grass and hills.
After a long while, he pulled over and got out of the truck, ignoring the brisk air. He opened the tailgate and sat on it, staring into the darkness that surrounded him.
Amy hadn’t cheated on him, obviously, but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. The idea of their first night together being about more than just the two of them hurt. It explained her reaction after, and he could understand what that felt like—if there’d been some way to soothe the pain after she’d disappeared from his life, he was sure he would have jumped at the chance.
He also felt angry at the man that had done all this to Amy. He could feel the embarrassment almost emanating off her as she told her story, though he’d been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to think much about it in the moment. Now, he realized how she must have felt coming back to Texas, her heart and soul battered and broken from first the robbery and then the betrayal from someone she trusted.
Knowing that the baby might not be his, but instead be a product of an encounter with that manipulative liar was a painful blow.
But dammit, that guy would never be the child’s parent. Even if he was the biological father, Jack knew Amy well enough to be sure she wouldn’t ask the man for a dime. And she was strong enough to raise this kid herself.
But she shouldn’t need to. Jack gripped his truck’s tailgate and shook his head. Even if the child wasn’t his, did it change his feelings for Amy?
That answer was obvious enough. He’d always loved her, had never stopped loving her, and he already loved the child that was half her, even if the other half might not be him. They could still be the family he’d always wanted.
And his last but very real problem was finally clear to him: Would he ever be enough for her, or would he one day come home to find she’d disappeared again, taking her child with her and leaving him alone?
That thought scared him more than anything else.
Jack sighed and lay back into his truck bed and stared at the stars for a long while, ignoring how uncomfortable the cold metal was on his back, trying to figure out what to do next. He could play it safe and break things off with her before it went any further and save himself more pain when it all fell apart somewhere down the road.
But Jack thought of the ring and the baby, and he knew there was no safe place for him to hide his heart. It was too late for that. Amy and her child already had it, and stopping things now just meant he would miss out on all the possible wonderful moments he might have. The truth was, he wanted that family. So badly that he couldn’t imagine running from this opportunity, as complicated as it might be.
Finally, Jack sat up and rubbed his back. There was no question about what he would do, of course. And he needed to let her know before he left for Wyoming the next morning.
Jack got back in his truck and started driving back the way he’d come. When he arrived at Amy’s house everything was dark except the living room, which was lit by a single lamp. He could see Amy sitting in the window seat, the light spilling around her, as if she was waiting for him. He rushed out of the truck, and she had just stepped out the front door when he pulled her into his arms, kissing her with all his might.
She kissed back, and they held each other for a long, long time.
* * *
AMY SAT ON her bed in the hotel room she and Ma were sharing in San Diego, not sure what to do with herself. Jack was already working with Sam in Wyoming, so she didn’t want to bother him, as much as she’d like to call and get assurance once again that he was still a part of her life despite everything with Armand. She had an article to write that she’d been putting off for two weeks, but she doubted she could do much of anything, as distracted as she was. Sitting and doing nothing was only making her feel stir-crazy.
Amy stood up and began pacing. She was having a baby. It was still impossible to wrap her mind around it. After all, she’d spent the past decade expecting to never be pregnant. It was just a fact of her life. And now that was turned upside down and here she was with a little one on the way.
Amy wished she felt euphoric about it, like Jack had when he first found out. But instead she felt nervous. And scared.
Now that she had finally accepted the truth of the matter, it left her with so many questions. How would she be able to continue the life she’d created for herself and raise a child? What would the next eighteen years look like? Would she and Jack be able to make all this work?
She didn’t have answers to anything, and felt lost. At sea without a life raft. Jack’s steadiness and confidence were the only things keeping her afloat, and she had no idea how much longer that might last.
Ma came out of the bathroom shaking her head. “I tell you, dear, this ain’t half-bad. The lounge, the airport and now this hotel. Maybe I should convince Howie to see a bit of the world with me.”
Amy nodded, though she hardly heard the older woman. After a few moments, Ma came up to her and put a hand on each of Amy’s cheeks, staring into her daughter’s eyes. “I’ll be here for you whatever happens with Maryanne, Amy. Don’t you worry.”
Amy felt tears welling in her eyes, and she almost spilled the truth out to her kind adopted mother, but she stopped herself. Ma’s entire life had been focused around her children, and Amy just couldn’t confess her fears and risk being told to give up everything important in her life for this baby. So she kept silent.
Amy would tell her soon, possibly even before they returned to Texas, but first she needed to sort out her thoughts on her own. Ma patted her cheek gently and smiled encouragingly.
Amy hadn’t even been thinking about the reason for their trip to California, and only now considered what it might be like to meet her half sister the next day. As if Amy’s phone knew she was thinking of Maryanne, it pinged with a new text message from her:
My son just reminded me he has a birthday party tomorrow at a bowling alley.
Amy’s heart sank. They were supposed to meet tomorrow. Was her sister canceling on her again? It didn’t seem like she really wanted to see Amy after all. Then the next message showed up:
Are you up for some bowling? I can drop Devin off with his friends and we can get our own lane as far from the party as possible. Your adopted mother is welcome to join, of course.
Amy felt a sense of relief. So Maryanne wasn’t begging off from their meet-up. Amy looked over at Ma, who was carefully unpacking her bag into the chest of drawers. “You interested in going bowling with Maryanne?”
She wasn’t sure what she expected Ma’s reaction to be, but she certainly didn’t expect her to clap her hands with excitement like a child. “I haven’t bowled in years!” she exclaimed.
That decided it, and Amy texted Maryanne back. Soon everything was planned and Amy set her phone down. Before she could go back to wondering what to do with herself, Ma was picking up their hotel key card and her purse. “Get up off your behind, dear. We’re going to see the ocean.”
Amy gave her mother a confused look. “Don’t you think it’s a bit cold out to go to the beach?” she asked.
Ma shook her head. “I haven’t seen the Pacific Ocean in more’n twenty years, and I intend to go right now so we can be there when the sun sets. Grab a sweater so you won’t be chilled.”
Amy hopped up immediately, threw on her jacket and followed her mother out the door. In no time at all, they were standing on a beach, sitting with their toes in the cold sand despite the temperature, watching the waves crash against the shore.
“I love Texas with all my heart and soul,” Ma said quietly, almost as if she was speaking to herself, “but there’s something about watching the sun set over the ocean that lifts my spirit. I shouldn’t have waited so long to see it again.”
Amy said nothing, just watched the rolling waves as the sun touched the horizon. Brock had grown up here, and this place must hold special memories for Ma and her sister, Jeannie, Brock’s mother. It certainly was beautiful, and she loved this time with Ma, but her mind kept drifting back to Jack in Wyoming. If everything worked out there, he would be incredibly busy for months, years even, as he pushed to make it to the top. Even if he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life, how could that work?
Even these few hours apart were hard—she couldn’t imagine what it would be like when she was in Chiang Mai and he was on the circuit. Even if she loved him and he loved her, she would be very, very alone. Could they make it work without constantly tearing themselves apart?
Amy stared at the water as the sun went down, wishing she had answers to everything. Ma patted her hand, catching Amy’s attention. The older woman smiled kindly at her. “Don’t you worry, dear. You two will figure it out.”
It took Amy a moment to realize what Ma meant. “How did you know what I was thinking?” Amy asked.
“Are you ever not thinking about Jack Stuart these days?” her mother responded.
Amy didn’t know what to say to that. “Love is difficult,” Ma continued. “You will find what’s right for you.”
Amy wanted those words to reassure her, but she couldn’t help but be skeptical. Sometimes things just didn’t work out. She knew that well enough.
And wishes couldn’t change facts here. She would try to have a lasting relationship with Jack, and they might try to raise a child together, but would it work? Or would the facts be so strongly against them that wishes wouldn’t matter?
The sun dropped below the horizon with a last tiny flash of light and the two women sat in the sand for another moment before standing. “Dinner and then bed,” Ma announced as they brushed the sand off their feet. “Tomorrow’s a big day.”
Amy’s heart jumped. Tomorrow she would spend some quality time with her half sister. She would learn about where she came from, at least a little bit. It was time to put Jack and the baby aside for the time being, as hard as that seemed to be, and focus her attention on the here and now.