Jack walked back to the house, wondering if it was even possible to make everyone in the family happy. He would just need to try, he supposed.
Since nobody was in the kitchen or living room, Jack went in search of his mother in the place he knew he was most likely to find her: a guest-room-turned-sanctuary that she occasionally called her woman-cave. With bright sunlight streaming through the windows and light, happy colors everywhere, calling it a cave seemed a bit of a misnomer.
Jack’s mother was sitting by the window in her favorite chair, reading. She looked so comfortable, so content, that Jack almost decided to forget the whole thing and not break the older woman’s sense of peace. But then he thought of Tom’s worry and knocked lightly on the open door.
“Mom, you got a minute?”
His mother chuckled as she closed her book. “For a person who used to be so busy, I seem to have all the time in the world since I officially became an old lady and my boys started taking care of things for me.”
Jack didn’t think they’d “taken care of things” particularly well, but only said, “I’m going to find Tom. I actually need to talk to both of you.”
Jack’s mom looked curious, but not worried. “He’s out in the barn, most likely. I’ll go fix up a few sandwiches and we can eat while you say whatever’s on your mind.”
Jack nodded and left for the barn. After a little searching he found his brother cleaning a horse’s hooves, a frown of concentration on his face. Although, Jack corrected himself, it seemed like Tom wore that frown nearly all the time these days. Jack should have done something about this months ago.
Jack wondered if Tom ever told the horses his problems when he was in the barn alone, but he immediately dismissed the idea. Tom would never confide in a horse, which was one of the clearest indicators, Jack thought, that he shouldn’t be running a ranch. Tom did what needed to be done, but he just wasn’t a cowboy at heart. Though what else he wanted to do was anybody’s guess.
Jack pulled himself out of his own head when Tom glanced up at him. “Why are you watching me like that?” he asked.
“Nothing,” Jack said. “Just letting my mind wander. Mom’s making us some lunch.”
Tom nodded and quickly finished his task before joining Jack on the walk to the house. “Did you have a good time with Amy today?” he asked.
Jack nodded but didn’t elaborate. Now was not the time to get lost on the subject of Amy.
In the kitchen, their mother was just setting three plates on the table, and the two men took their seats. “So, what did you want to discuss with us, Jack?”
Tom gave Jack a surprised look, but Jack ignored it and spoke more honestly to her than he or Tom had in a long time. “Mom, we haven’t wanted to say anything because we knew it would worry you, but the ranch is losing money. Badly. And Tom’s been doing the best he can, but he shouldn’t be carrying this burden all on his own when he doesn’t even want to be here.”
The older woman looked back and forth between her sons and Tom glared at Jack. Jack shrugged. “Sorry, but it’s true, and Mom deserves to know. And you deserve to do something besides worry about bills constantly.”
Their mother’s eyes settled on Tom. “Are things truly that bad?”
Tom’s glare turned to a look of apology as he turned toward his mom. “I just didn’t have the heart to tell you I was running this place into the ground,” he said quietly.
After a beat of silence, the older woman shook her head. “What is the matter with you two? I thought I raised you better than to hide something like this from me. Tom, you go get any paperwork you have right this instant and we’re going to sort this all out right now.”
It was Jack’s turn to be surprised. He hadn’t heard his mother speak to them like that since they were children. Tom slunk out of his chair and down the hall to the office. Soon he was back with a stack of paperwork and they ate their sandwiches as the true state of the ranch became clear to all three of them.
It was even worse than Jack had guessed. Once they’d gone through every scrap of paper, their mom leaned back and pushed her reading glasses to the top of her head. “Well, it seems we don’t have many options, boys,” she said finally. “We can keep losing money until we go bankrupt, or we sell the ranch and move on while we’re still able. Tom, I know you’ve never wanted to live here—do you have someplace to go if we sell?”
Tom flushed. “There’s a girl I met online a while back who I’d like to meet. She lives in Boston. I’d like to spend some time out that way, get a job and see where things go with her.”
Their mother nodded as if this was the most normal thing in the world, though Jack was still having trouble absorbing it all. Tom wanted to move to Boston to be with a girl he’d met on the internet? Before he could reconcile all this with what he knew about his brother, their mom turned to him. “With my part of the sale I’m sure I’ll be able to find a place in town that I can afford. So that just leaves you, Jack. I know you always wanted to buy out your brother’s stake in this place and keep the ranch running, but I just don’t see a way for us to hold out that long.”
It broke Jack’s heart to think of his future rodeo school being sold to some stranger while he went off to...do something. He could keep roping for a few more years, maybe, but after that? He’d never considered doing anything but come back here to Spring Valley for good.
Still, his mother was willing to give up her home without a complaint, and Tom had put his own life on hold for God only knew how long. He couldn’t exactly ask them to fight to keep the ranch and risk bankruptcy just so he could keep his dream alive.
Jack nodded. “I’ll land on my feet, whatever happens,” he assured her.
The old woman stood. “It’s settled then. We’ll put the ranch up for sale. It’s the only way,” she said, looking at Jack as she said it.
She knew exactly how difficult this was for him, Jack was sure. He was also sure she was hurting at the thought of leaving her home, even though she didn’t show a hint of her feelings. Jack gave her a small smile and nodded in agreement.
“I’ll stay to help get everything settled,” Tom said, his voice so somber that Jack knew he was feeling the loss, too.
Their mother agreed instantly, her hand hitting the table lightly, like she was a judge banging her gavel. “Then it’s settled. Is there anything else you wanted to discuss with us, Jack?”
Jack shook his head and she stood up. He hadn’t said anything for a long while, but he still kept his mouth shut. What was there for him to say, really?
His mom gave him one last curious look. “I tell you, I wasn’t expecting this to be our topic of conversation at all,” she said, waving her hand to indicate the house.
Jack finally felt his tongue unstuck from the roof of his mouth. “What did you think I wanted to talk to you about?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” his mother said in a tone that meant obviously something. “Perhaps something regarding you and Ms. McNeal. But it may be a bit early for that, I suppose.”
Before Jack could say a thing, his mother was on her way out of the room. “I’ll get started on a list of Realtors,” she said as she disappeared back into her woman-cave.
Tom gave Jack a quick grin before leaving the table himself. “I’m going to work out in the barn for a while,” he said with a spring in his step.
Jack just sat there at the table, his brain trying to absorb what had happened, what he’d instigated. He tried to tell himself it was all for the best, but it was hard to believe.
* * *
AMY SAT INSIDE the truck, though she had parked in front of the McNeal house minutes ago, a nervous fluttering in her stomach. She knew she should get inside, that she was already late, but her mind was a flurry of activity and refused to settle down. What if they asked her about Jack once she got in there? She wasn’t sure what to tell them. Heck, she wasn’t even sure what to tell herself.
Everything had been going so well, and then Jack had pushed back a hair from her face and she’d panicked, and it frustrated her to no end that it was all because of Armand. He’d acted just that same sweet way when they first met, and it made her want to run from Jack as fast as she could. But she knew that was unfair. He was sweet and kind, and she knew it. So why couldn’t her heart accept that and move on?
Amy sighed and leaned back. If only things could be simple, the way they had been when she was seventeen and in love with the nice cowboy. She still felt strong feelings toward him, along with a desire so strong it surprised her every time she laid eyes on him, but her head was so full of worry and doubts that she didn’t know how to relax and accept any intimacy.
If her siblings asked, she would just say they were rebuilding a friendship. It wasn’t exactly a lie, even if it didn’t tell the whole story. Since she didn’t even know what the whole story was, it would have to do.
As she unbuckled her seat belt, another concern occurred to her: Should she tell them about her scheduled meeting with her half sister? Would they be excited, or maybe a little hurt that she felt the need to find more family, like they weren’t enough?
She stepped out of the truck, considering what to do on that account, and didn’t even notice Jose barreling out the front door until he picked her up in a bone-cracking hug that made her give a loud, startled laugh.
“Big sis!” he said once he set her down and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “There you are! Ma was about to have us send the dogs out to search for you.”
Amy chuckled at the idea of Buster, Pop’s old shepherd, searching any farther than his dog bed. Jose, Diego’s twin, could be frustrating at times, but he was also the guy you wanted around if you needed to forget your worries. He led her into the house shouting, “Don’t worry, Ma! I found her!”
Diego glanced up from his spot on the couch. “Where did he find you?” he asked.
Amy rolled her eyes. “In the driveway, climbing out of your truck. Thanks, by the way,” she said, tossing him his keys.
He caught them with a nod. Amy waited for Jose to ask where she’d been, with whom, and what scandalous acts she’d done there as he mined for his next joke, but he said nothing. Amy guessed she had Diego to thank for that. He was the only person who could even attempt to keep Jose in line.
Soon Brock, Cassie, Jose, Diego and Amy were all sitting in the living room together, where they had been relegated when they, as Ma put it, “kept getting in her hair while she was trying to make a decent meal for all of them.”
“Carter and Zach didn’t get kicked out,” Jose grumbled. “It’s clear who Ma’s favorite twins are.”
Brock shrugged. “They’re way cuter than you two.”
Jose put on an offended air. “Excuse me, we’re adorable.”
“And they follow directions better,” Brock added.
Jose grinned and nodded. “Well, that’s true enough.”
Amy listened to her brothers’ banter, but a good deal of her attention was on her right arm. Now that she was relaxed, it was clear she’d pushed her muscles way too far, and her bicep ached like crazy. She kneaded it gingerly.
“Is there a problem with your arm?” Cassie asked, watching with her sharp doctor’s eyes.
Amy stopped her ministrations. “It’s fine. Just a little sore from exercising this morning.”
Jose snorted in what was clearly an exaggerated attempt to start a joke, but Diego stepped on his foot and Jose’s snort turned into an innocent cough. Amy gave Diego a quick glance of thanks, and he sent her a little smile. She didn’t need Jose to start commenting on what “exercise” she could have been up to.
The moment passed and Diego turned to Jose. “Now that we’re all together, will you tell us about your new secret girlfriend? He’s been waiting all week to talk about her,” Diego explained to the gathered siblings.
Jose held up his hand, and Amy could see he was enjoying building the anticipation. “I will talk about her when we are all together, including Ma and Pop.”
“If Zach and Carter are in the room, you better keep it G-rated, little brother,” Brock pointed out.
Jose gave Brock his widest, most innocent smile. “Come on, Broccoli, you know my stories are fun for all ages.”
“What about the story about the night you spent in Atlantic City? That was definitely adults-only,” Amy threw in, happy to be joking with her brothers.
Jose’s smile became much less innocent. “Oh yeah, that was a crazy night. Cassie, you haven’t heard this. So, I was in Atlantic City for the weekend...” Jose started, launching into his story.
Amy leaned back and looked at her brothers and soon-to-be sister. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed this part of being a family. Just sitting around, talking about nothing. She’d been home so rarely, and had always had Jack’s cloud hanging over her, that it seemed ages since she and her brothers had talked like this.
“Time to set the table!” Ma called from the kitchen.
At the same time, two little whirlwinds rushed into the room balancing plates and silverware. Amy watched her young nephews hand out jobs, as directed by their grandmother. Cassie seemed grateful that Jose’s story was left unfinished as she followed her children into the dining room.
“What are we having?” Amy asked the crowd as she sniffed the air.
“Sweet potatoes and okra and pork something. I forget. It’s really yummy!” Carter told her all in a rush.
Jose gave the young twin a shake of his head. “You got to taste the food? I got kicked out just for suggesting I try a little. That’s not fair!” he called into the kitchen.
Ma walked in with a plate piled high with pork chops. “You’re not competing with a pair of four-year-olds, Jose,” she said before giving Zach and Carter a big grin. “Let’s go get you two some soda pop,” she added, hustling them back into the kitchen.
Jose crossed his arms. “We never got soda pop when we were kids. It was always ‘that stuff will rot your teeth.’”
Brock set the plates at each place while the rest of them took the other tasks. “She’s taking her job as a grandmother very seriously. Soda pop, desserts, she even started up the candy bird thing.”
Amy looked up, surprised. She could remember every trip to her grandparents including a visit from the “candy bird,” a magical creature who left candy for young children.
“Ma said she would never ever do the candy bird. Remember how much she grumbled on the drive home while we ate our Tootsie Pops?” Diego said, sounding as astonished as Amy felt.
“Oh, I know,” Brock said, “That didn’t stop the candy bird from making an appearance a couple weeks ago.”
Ma, Pop and the twins chose this moment to make their appearance in the dining room with the last of the food, the two young boys each carrying a cup of cola. As they sat down, Jose pointed a finger at his adopted mother. “So, the candy bird comes here now?” he asked, sounding a little more indignant than a grown man should about candy.
Zach and Carter immediately launched into the story of the candy bird. “If we’re really good and leave the window open, Nana Sarah says the candy bird will come again soon!” Carter finished excitedly.
Ma blushed. “Pop reminded me about the candy bird, and I thought it might be nice to—er...send her our address,” she said, looking around significantly, daring any of her children to ruin this for her grandsons.
“Come on, guys, everyone loves the candy bird,” Amy said as she piled food onto her plate. “Just look at the boys,” she finished, pointing to the sparkly-eyed children.
The first bite of food overshadowed the gentle bickering, and Amy’s heart felt full at that moment. Really, there was nothing like home and family. Even when they were all adults, things didn’t change, and for that she was grateful. As much as she enjoyed her lifestyle, it forced her to be a grown-up all the time. Here, she could have an argument about the rightful existence of a fictional bird that brought children sweets.
“Fine!” Ma said, sounding exasperated. “I’ll let the candy bird know you’d like her to bring enough treats for the rest of you lot, too. Ya happy?”
Jose settled back and speared a bite of pork chop with his fork. “Extremely,” he said, looking very satisfied with himself.
The family settled down and ate quietly for a short while before Diego spoke up. “Now that we’ve cleared up important topics like the candy bird, we can move on to Jose’s new girlfriend he’s been dying to tell us about.”
Jose looked up, all innocence. “Brother, I have been protecting my amour’s privacy, not withholding information. It’s actually quite gentlemanly of me.”
Diego gave Jose a look and Jose dropped the act. “Okay, her name’s Kate and I met her at one of the ranches outside Dallas when I was looking at livestock out there. She’s a riding school instructor.”
Amy wasn’t sure why Jose had built up this whole thing to tell them about a girl he’d met. She’d assumed the woman would be someone they knew or famous or something. Everyone else seemed to be confused, too.
“Well, she sounds nice. When will we meet her?” Ma asked.
“In a week,” Jose said, looking straight at Pop. “She’s going to interview to take over the riding school for you.”
Amy let out a long, low breath. There it was.
They had all been concerned about Pop and the toll that running the riding school and ranch was taking on him at his age, but telling him that hadn’t ended well in the past.
Pop slowly put down his fork and looked up at his adopted son. “What was that, Jose?”
Jose looked serious for one of the few times in his life. “In a week Kate’s coming here to interview so she can take over the day-to-day riding school operations. She can live here and stay in Brock’s old room, since he doesn’t need it anymore. I’ll pay her from my own pocket if I need to. And if you don’t think you need help,” he said pointedly, “the riding school and the kids are the ones who will suffer.”
Pop and Jose stared at each other, and the rest of the family watched, quiet. “You’ve thought this whole thing out, haven’t you?” Pop asked.
Jose nodded.
There was another second of silence before Pop nodded back. “Fine, I’ll meet with her. But I’m not promising anything,” he added.
The tension in the air seemed to dissolve and Jose went back to his usual smiling self. “I knew I was your favorite,” he said.
Exclamations of protest broke out around the table, and the rest of dinner was spent arguing over which of the children was, in fact, the favorite.
After Brock, Cassie and the boys left that evening, Jose stood up and stretched. “I don’t know about you two, but I woke up too early this morning. I’m heading to bed. And,” he added, pointing to his twin, “I’m taking Brock’s room tonight. No more bunk beds for me.”
After he left, Diego commented, “I didn’t know we could call Brock’s room now that he lives next door.”
Amy shrugged. “Jose beat you to it, fair and square.”
Diego nodded in his usual good-natured way. “How was today at Jack’s?” he asked.
Though Amy had been relieved she didn’t need to discuss her activities with the whole family, the events of the day hadn’t been far from her thoughts the entire evening. She looked down at the couch and picked at one of the faded roses on the upholstery. “We did some roping.”
She didn’t know how to express what it felt like to be so in sync with someone, or how much she wished she could just fall into his arms without thinking about Morocco and everything that had happened there.
Diego seemed to sense some of that, though. “You don’t need to make any decisions right now. Just do what you enjoy and what makes you happy, okay?”
Amy nodded and Jose stood. “I’m heading to bed myself. See you in the morning.”
Amy said good-night and slipped onto the bench that ran beneath the large front window of the house. She thought about all the times she’d sat there, praying Jack wouldn’t appear and want to talk to her. Now all she wanted was to see him and hear his voice.
Amy glanced at her phone, briefly considering calling him before putting it away. It was late, and besides, she’d see him the next day. That should be soon enough to satisfy her.
But it wasn’t.
She wanted to give herself over to her feelings like they’d done in the barn. Shut her mind off and allow her heart to accept who he was without her baggage from the past few weeks tainting the moment.
Just as she decided to call him despite the time, headlights flashed across her face as a truck pulled into the driveway, then went dark as it parked. She would know that truck anywhere, even in the pitch dark, and Amy hopped up and ran outside to see what Jack was doing in front of her house so late in the evening.
* * *
JACK PUT THE truck in Park and killed the headlights, his heart jumping at the sight of Amy in the big window, her form outlined by the light behind her. He had been driving just to think, and had ended up at her house without even realizing where he was headed. He’d gone into the driveway so he could turn around—or at least that was what he told himself—when he saw Amy in the window, as if she was waiting for him.
He opened up the truck door as she ran down the porch steps, and without thinking about it, he wrapped her in a tight hug and pressed his lips to hers. She seemed just as desperate for the intimacy, and it was a long moment before they parted. Any hesitancy Amy had shown that morning was long gone, if her tight hold on him was any indication.
Once they could breathe again, Amy gave a little sigh. “I was just thinking about you,” she told him, leaning her head against his shoulder.
He didn’t respond, just held her close. He didn’t know what had changed in the few hours since he’d last seen her, but he wasn’t about to do anything that might ruin it. She wanted to be in his arms, and she’d been thinking about him. A thrill of love shot through his veins. If he was honest, he was always thinking about her, but he kept that thought to himself.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I went out for a drive to clear my thoughts,” Jack explained.
She lifted her head to look him in the eye. “What’s the trouble?”
Jack tried to give her a reassuring smile, but he wasn’t sure how well he succeeded. “I talked to Tom and my mother, and we’ve decided we don’t have any choice but to sell the ranch.”
Amy’s eyes widened at the news, and Jack knew she understood how hard this was for him. His childhood home owned by some strangers, his rodeo school dream up in smoke.
He shrugged, trying to seem lighthearted about the whole thing. “We just don’t have the funds to keep it going, and it’s not likely I’ll ever win big enough in competitions to get the money I’d need to renovate the place anyway, so really, this is for the best. I’ll land on my feet.”
Jack knew by her expression that she saw right through his words, so he stopped talking and just hugged her close, gathering strength from her.
“Are you going to be leaving Spring Valley for good after that?” she asked, and he thought her voice caught in her throat for a second.
“I’m so sorry,” she said in a whisper. “If I hadn’t meddled—”
“Then we would have lost even more money and would end up with the same outcome, only worse,” he told her.
He saw that in her eyes she still felt guilt over her part in this decision, and he lifted her chin until she was looking him in the eye. “This is what needs to happen, Amy. You didn’t create our mess, and you shouldn’t feel bad for pointing out that we were hiding from it. Thank you for stopping us from keeping our heads in the sand until we went bankrupt.”
Then he leaned down and kissed her, and neither of them said anything for a long time.
“Any idea when all this will happen?” Amy asked eventually, her forehead pressed against his.
“It’ll be at least a month,” he answered, “and probably longer if the ranch sits on the market a bit.”
Finally, after another long silence, they broke apart. “I better get home,” Jack said. “But I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
Amy gave him a smile that looked slightly forced. “I’ll be there,” she said.
Then, with a little wave, she turned toward her house and he climbed into his truck. Jack waited until she was inside and the light in the living room was turned off, then started the truck’s engine.
In a month, Amy would leave once again for her adventures. In a month, maybe a little more, the ranch he’d always thought of as home would be gone.
When the time came, there would be some very difficult decisions to make. But until then, he was going to enjoy this month for all it was worth.