Cassie opened the door, nearly squealing in her excitement when she saw that Amy was on the other side. “You’re back!” she shrieked as she gave Amy a giant hug. “This means you’re going to be here for the wedding, right?” she asked, leaning away and looking into Amy’s face.
Amy nodded, but Cassie’s face fell immediately. “What happened?” she asked, looking concerned.
Amy felt the tears she’d managed to suppress at Jack’s coming to the surface, but she held them back. This was a time to stop being so selfish. Cassie was getting married in a week, and she deserved Amy’s attention, not Amy’s sadness and tears. “It doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry for the way I treated you, and if you don’t want me to be your bridesmaid, I understand.”
Cassie pulled Amy into another hug, this one full of sympathy instead of excitement. “Of course I want you to be my bridesmaid. You’re my sister,” Cassie said.
In a flash, the two women were inside, sitting at the kitchen table. “You sure you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?” Cassie asked again, looking into Amy’s eyes.
Amy wanted to sob into her sister’s shoulder about her heartbreak and shame at causing a sweet man like Jack to feel so hurt and angry, but she held it all back. “I’ve just made a lot of mistakes the past couple of weeks—years, actually—and they’re coming back to me,” she said, chiding herself. Before Cassie could say anything, Amy added, “But I’m going to try to be better. I want to be a stronger, more selfless person. For my baby, if nothing else.”
Cassie gave her an encouraging smile. “It sounds like you did some soul-searching in Thailand.”
Amy tried to smile, but failed. “You could say that.”
Amy wanted to curl up and cry about Jack, beat herself up over all the pain she had caused him with her selfishness, and mourn the loss of the man she loved. Now that she’d said what she needed to and apologized to Cassie, her strength felt sapped. She stood up slowly. “I should get home,” she said.
Cassie stood and grabbed Amy’s arm. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m here if there’s anything I can do to help. Same with Brock. And your entire family.”
Amy nodded, though she hardly heard the words, and walked out and toward her parents’ house. It was only when she was at the midpoint between the two ranches that Cassie’s words really sunk in. She had so much family and so much love around her. She needed to remember that.
When she arrived home, Amy fell into Ma and Pop’s arms, apologizing for her disappearance. Then she told them about what happened with Jack. “You were right, Ma,” she said at last. “I didn’t make the choice I really wanted, and by the time I realized it, I was too late. I’ve lost him.”
Pop shook his head. “Are you going to give him up that easy, Amy?”
Amy looked up at her father, not sure what he meant. Her mother nodded in agreement. “Why, if I had let Howie go when he told me I was too stubborn to date, you wouldn’t be sitting on this couch with us,” she said.
Amy looked to Pop in surprise. He nodded and wrapped his arm around his wife. “She convinced me to give her another chance, and I haven’t let her go since. I just thank my lucky stars she was smart enough to see what I couldn’t.”
Amy had to smile at the couple. They’d been married for nearly forty years, but they were looking at each other like newlyweds.
When Amy went to bed that night, she felt a new emotion: determination. She wouldn’t give Jack up just yet. She had to try once more, give it another shot. If he still didn’t want her, she would accept his decision, but she wasn’t going to throw up her arms and let him go without a fight.
Now she needed to figure out what she could do to prove to him that she was in for the long haul, and it better be good.
* * *
“DAMMIT, JACK, PULL IT TOGETHER!” Sam yelled across the paddock.
Jack took a deep breath and looked down at the rope in his hand. He was just a second too slow, a second off, but it was enough. The difference between winning and losing.
And Sam wasn’t going to let that slide. He rode up to Jack, getting close enough to his face that Jack leaned back, away from him. “I don’t know what your problem is, Jack, but you need to pull it together. I expect to win this year, and if you don’t, you should just get the hell out of here.”
Jack bit his tongue, holding back the torrent of words. Sam was the best there was, and it wouldn’t do to piss him off any more than Jack already had. Instead, Jack turned Benny to get back into position. “Let’s do it again.”
They went through the process again, but Jack’s throw was even worse than before.
“What are you doing, Jack!” Sam yelled, throwing his hat to the floor.
Jack watched as Sam’s face turned red, but he forced himself to remain calm. He’d already learned not to react to Sam’s little tantrums or they only got worse.
To be fair, Jack was a little frustrated with himself, too. For the past couple of days he’d been missing throws he could make in his sleep ever since he was a teenager. His mind was somewhere else, and it was driving Sam crazy.
“If you don’t want to be here, you damn well better not come back after that wedding, Jack. I expect to win a purse in two weeks, not be a laughingstock. And with you throwing like you are today—”
Sam stopped talking and turned his horse. He rode away, still seething.
Jack didn’t say anything, just sat on Benny and watched Sam ride away. He was sure if he said any of the thoughts swirling in his mind, it would mean the end of his time working with Sam already, and he didn’t want that. Sam was the way to the top. If he could pull together his own performance, of course.
It was no surprise to Jack that he was roping so badly. It seemed like the closer it got to the wedding, the worse he got. And with the wedding the next afternoon, this was by far his worst session yet. He was glad he’d be leaving in a couple hours, if only to get away from his terrible riding.
He would be seeing Amy again, trying to be a friend instead of what he’d expected and hoped they would be. Lovers, partners, parents. It killed him to think of that.
He’d considered skipping the wedding, almost called his mom in Spring Valley a dozen times, but at the last minute he’d held himself back. He needed to go home anyway. For one thing, his mom had told him that they were expecting to get an offer in the days after the wedding, and Tom was planning to leave for Boston then, too. He had to be there.
And he’d told Amy the truth when he said he wanted to be part of the baby’s life, which meant he needed to be able to spend time with her, as much as it hurt.
He could only hope that it would hurt less over time.
Jack brought himself back to the present, where he was sitting on Benny in an empty paddock. Sam was nowhere to be seen, and Jack was glad of that. He would call and apologize, assure Sam that he’d be in the right headspace when he got back from the wedding. If he spoke to Sam in person right now, there was a chance he’d say something he would regret. Sam was angry enough that Jack knew it would be nearly impossible to have a rational conversation with him.
Jack slid off Benny and walked him into the barn. Once the horse was settled in his stall, Jack drove to his new apartment to pack. Even though he’d been in the apartment for several days, he hadn’t done a single thing to settle in. It still felt too new, too temporary, whatever he told himself about how he was planning to be here for the long run.
Soon it was time to go, and he only hesitated once more before locking the door.
* * *
“WHERE DOES THIS go?” Amy asked, lifting a large pot of flowers and tilting it toward Brock.
“How many times have I told you that I’d get the heavy stuff?” Brock demanded as he grabbed the pot away from her.
Amy rolled her eyes. “It weighs about five pounds, Brock. I’m pregnant, not dying.”
Cassie smiled at her from where she stood, decorating an arch for the wedding that was scheduled for the next day. Ever since Amy had told her family about the pregnancy, everyone had been treating her as if she was made of glass, despite Cassie’s assurances that Amy was fine.
Amy walked up to her soon-to-be sister. “What can I help you with?”
Cassie shrugged. “Are you sure you have the time? I know you’ve been busy planning your own thing like a madwoman.”
Amy had been spending every spare moment on her computer or her phone for the past several days. If the wedding was her last chance to win over Jack, she wasn’t going to take it lightly. At the same time, she had to make plans for herself and her baby. There was insurance to get, a doctor to find, and so many other details they made Amy’s head swim.
But at least she felt as if she was being productive instead of living life by the seat of her pants, basing her decisions on her selfish feelings at any given moment.
It was time for her to be a grown-up now.
To Cassie, Amy said, “I’ve done everything I can do. Now I just need to wait until after the wedding and hope it’s enough.”
“And if it isn’t?” Cassie asked, so quietly Amy almost didn’t hear her.
Amy had considered that, too. “If it isn’t, I have a life I want to live, and I’ll do the best I can with it.”
Even if she couldn’t win Jack back, Amy knew she had to work hard to give her baby a good life, and that meant she couldn’t sit around feeling sorry for herself. She would make it work.
It would be hard to get by without Jack in her life, but she had the confidence in herself now to know she would survive.
But she couldn’t think like that. Not yet, anyway. She had to hope.
Amy settled into a spot beside Cassie, helping decorate the arch. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Cassie, this is going to be a beautiful wedding.”
Cassie laughed. “The ‘beach in Bali’ girl is coming around to my country wedding, huh?”
Amy looked at the wide blue sky then across the ranch, decorated with white chairs and pots of flowers. “I’m more Texas than I used to admit,” Amy confessed.
* * *
IT WAS THE morning of the wedding, and Jack sat at his family’s kitchen table, slowly drinking coffee. He wasn’t ready to see Amy again in just a few hours, and the fact that it would be at a wedding, something he’d hoped the two of them would have one day, only made it worse.
It had been nearly a week since they’d seen each other, but the pain of it all was still fresh and raw. He was almost thankful that Sam had been working him so hard right up until the day he left because it gave him less time to think. He didn’t want to think. Whenever he did, his mind settled on Amy, and it stayed there until he got so busy or tired he couldn’t focus on anything.
But now here he was, watching the sky lighten over the home he’d soon be leaving for good, and he had nothing to do but sip his coffee.
He could picture every moment of the last few minutes he’d spent with Amy. The devastation on her face when he’d rejected her. It made his heart ache.
“Morning,” Tom said, walking into the kitchen and getting himself some coffee. “You ready for the wedding today?”
Even though Jack had only seen his brother for a few seconds since his encounter with Amy, the way Tom spoke made Jack sure he knew something about what had happened between them. Jack just shrugged. It wasn’t something he was ready to talk about.
Besides, there were other topics that needed to be discussed. “Are you ready for your big move?” he asked.
Tom was finally leaving for Boston in three days. It made Jack nervous to think his mother would be left on this ranch by herself, but she’d already assured him that she was organizing plenty of help and she didn’t need him to worry about her.
Tom looked at his coffee cup and smiled to himself. “I’m ready,” he said, not elaborating.
He didn’t need to. It was obvious from his expression that he was chomping at the bit to meet this woman from the internet and settle into his new life in Boston. Jack could tell that Tom was over-the-moon in love.
He was happy for his brother, but it also made him wonder if he’d ever feel that way about anybody again.
As if Tom could tell where Jack’s mind had gone, he asked, “So, you and Amy are really done for good, huh?”
Jack nodded, as much as it hurt to do so. “If she left again, I don’t think I’d be able to take it. It’s just safer to stop things now,” he explained.
Tom turned toward the stove, away from his brother, and started making breakfast. “So you’re happy living in Wyoming, then?” Tom asked over the sound of cracking eggs.
Jack wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to lie to his brother, but there was no point complaining about the choice he’d made, and if he could make a big purse before his mother accepted an offer on the ranch, then maybe he could still make his rodeo school dream come true. “I’m starting to settle in,” he said carefully.
Tom nodded, and Jack thought for a moment that the conversation was done. “And Sam? Is he a good partner?”
Again, Jack chose his words cautiously. “He is an incredibly skilled rider and roper. And he’s very dedicated.”
Tom turned from the stove and looked at his younger brother. “So long as you’re happy with your decisions, that’s all that matters,” he said before turning back and pouring eggs into a sizzling pan. “You want some breakfast?” he asked over his shoulder.
“No thanks,” Jack said.
He felt antsy, like he needed to go do some thinking. He stood and walked over to the back door, where he had a view of the barn and paddocks. The chances that he could keep this place, especially with an offer coming in over the next couple of days, according to his mom, were slim to none. If he couldn’t save the ranch, what would he do with any big purses he won while riding with Sam?
Jack knew it was time to be realistic about his future, and the more he looked at it, the less he liked what he saw. But he needed Sam, didn’t he? Otherwise he’d just be a failed roper with a few dollars to his name and no prospects.
Jack walked to the barn and went up to Maverick, who seemed to be looking over Jack’s shoulder for someone. “She’s not here, boy,” Jack told the horse.
Maverick seemed crestfallen. Jack knew how the animal felt. After a minute of brushing the sleek black horse, Jack started talking. “There’s not much chance working with Sam will get me the ranch, Maverick, and I can’t ask my family to hold off living their lives while I try to make enough money to have it happen, but without that, what do I have?”
Jack had no idea, and Maverick didn’t seem forthcoming with any alternatives, either. Jack kept brushing the horse, wondering what kind of a life would make him happy.
Nothing came to him. Maverick snorted and tossed his head, and Jack patted the animal once more before turning back toward the house.
* * *
AMY LOOKED OVER the crowd from her vantage point of Cassie’s bedroom window, a bouquet in her hand. There were nearly three hundred people taking their seats: an interesting mix of Spring Valley residents, Brock’s rodeo buddies and Cassie’s family from Minnesota standing out among the sea of cowboy hats. Even among all those people, it only took her a second to see Jack sitting with the rest of his family.
She wanted so badly to rush over to him, but managed to hold herself back. This was Brock and Cassie’s wedding, and she had a job to do. At the reception, they would be able to talk. That was when she would have her chance.
And if it went wrong or he just decided not to be with her, well, she’d handle it. Amy put a hand to her stomach and said a little prayer, then turned to where Cassie stood with her two other bridesmaids, her sister from Minnesota and Emma, who ran the local bakery. Cassie was brushing her hands along the skirt of her wedding dress, looking a little nervous.
“Are you ready, sister?” Amy asked her, putting a hand on her shoulder.
Cassie nodded and Amy gave her a brief hug. “Let’s go get you married, then,” she said, and the four women trooped out of the room. Soon they were all walking down the aisle toward where Brock, Jose, Diego, Zach and Carter stood, the younger twins looking especially proud in their suits.
Amy tried to keep her mind focused on the ceremony, but she couldn’t stop herself from glancing at Jack every few minutes. Every time she did, her heart thumped hard and painful against her chest. Twice, their eyes met, and it only made things worse.
Did he miss her, or was he truly satisfied with just being friends? She couldn’t tell by his small smile or the look in his blue eyes.
When it came time for the vows, though, all off Amy’s attention was on the bride and groom. Brock held Cassie’s hands in his and said, “Cassie, you are everything I could imagine in a wife, and you make me a better man. I feel so honored that you would let me into your life and become a part of your family. I love you more every day, and I want to be with you always.”
Tears streamed down Amy’s face. She was so happy her brother had found someone to love who wanted to spend her life with him.
Amy could only hope to be so lucky. She risked one more glance at Jack, but his eyes were on the couple.
Soon the wedding was over, and the guests moved toward the barn, where scattered tables circled an open area that was clearly meant for a dance floor. Even though it was late October, the air was almost warm and the flowers scattered everywhere gave it a summery atmosphere.
Amy started walking toward Jack. This was it. She would be able to speak to him before the reception truly got started, and then she would know, for better or worse. On her way, though, she was waylaid by Jose and Diego, who had arrived after she’d gone to stay over with Cassie and the bridesmaids the night before the wedding.
Jose picked her up and squeezed her in a tight hug. “Congratulations!” he shouted so loudly that several guests turned to stare.
Amy would’ve felt embarrassed by Jose’s outburst, but he’d done something like that to her so many times that it had ceased to be surprising. Right now, she was just a little annoyed. She was a woman on a mission.
“Set me down, Jose,” she said, hitting him on the shoulder to show she meant business.
Jose set her down and Diego said, “We heard about what’s going on. Good luck, Ames.”
The endearing nickname made her heart twist. If Jack rejected her once more, she wasn’t sure she could stand to hear anyone call her that again. “Thanks, Diego. I’ll come talk to you two and Kate when I’m done,” she told them.
“Kate couldn’t come,” Jose said, “but I expect a long sincere conversation with my sister about why she doesn’t let me in on all her interesting gossip.”
Amy nodded. If things didn’t go the way she wanted, it might be hard to have normal conversations, but she had vowed to be less selfish, and this would be the perfect test.
Then she left her brothers and continued on her way. As she closed in on Jack, it became hard to breathe. Part of her wanted to run away, but she held fast. She was done running from her problems.
* * *
JACK COULD HARDLY keep himself still as the wedding guests moved around him, finding their seats and chatting with friends. He knew Amy was walking toward him, her eyes focused and unwavering. She looked different, somehow, than the last time he’d seen her. There was a sense of calm around her he couldn’t explain.
* * *
“JACK,” SHE SAID IN a sighing breath that made his heart ache. “Can I speak to you for a minute? Privately?”
Jack agreed and followed her toward Cassie’s house, though he found it difficult to make his feet move. There was so much unsaid between them, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for this even though he’d known it was coming.
Before they could get too far, however, Amy’s ma walked up with a woman about her age and Cassie’s young twins in tow. Based on the fact that she was a nearly identical older version of Cassie, Jack guessed this must be Brock’s new mother-in-law. She had on a sour expression that made Jack wonder how hard she’d fought to stop this wedding.
“Amy, Jack!” Amy’s mother said with a big smile. “I’m showing Cassie’s mom around the place, giving her a chance to see all that Spring Valley has to offer to these young’uns and their parents.”
Jack turned to Amy. He saw her hesitate and knew she wanted to keep going, but then she gave the women a big smile. “Spring Valley is home, ma’am. I’ve traveled all over the world, but there’s no place else like it.”
Her gaze turned to Jack as she finished, and he knew her words were for him as much as for Cassie’s mother. He watched her, speechless, as she quickly extolled the virtues of Texas, gave the young boys hugs and then continued on their path to the house.
Who was this woman? It was Amy, but with a new demeanor he couldn’t understand. He didn’t know if it had to do with the pregnancy or his rejection of her, but he watched her closely as they walked through the ranch home’s back door that led them into the kitchen.
“I want to buy the ranch,” Amy said the moment they were through the back door of the empty house.
“What?” Jack asked, sure he hadn’t heard her correctly.
Of all the things he’d guessed she might say once they were alone, this was a complete surprise.
“I want to buy your family’s ranch. I have some cash saved up, plus a loan from my parents. It’s enough to get a mortgage on the place. Tom would get his fair share, and your mom would like to continue living on the ranch and put her portion into helping me turn the place into a rodeo school. With help from Jose and Diego I can get the stock, and Brock and my uncle Joe will gladly help get rodeo hopefuls out here.”
Jack stared at her, uncomprehending. What was she saying?
“I can make your dream a reality, Jack, and I want to do it. I want to live here, on a ranch with horses and family close by. Brock and I can manage the place as long as you’re on the circuit. I’ll still be able to do some writing for magazines I know would love to hear about Texas life. And I’ll be here with the baby when you’re ready to take over. I’m not running again, Jack. If I get on a plane, I want you to be there by my side,” she finished, handing him a stack of papers.
Amy took a deep breath, as if she’d just given a speech she’d been preparing for a long time. Which, it seemed, was pretty accurate.
Jack quickly rifled through the pile of documents. It included an offer for the ranch, a purchase order of rodeo stock and a passport application with his name already filled in.
He didn’t know what to say. Jack looked up at Amy, who was shifting nervously. “Are you really ready for all this?” he asked, gesturing to the papers.
Amy nodded with conviction. “I think all these years I’ve been traveling, I’ve been looking for something. A home, a place to be, something. When I was in Thailand, though, I wasn’t looking for that because I’d already found it here, with you, on your ranch. I was miserable so far from the people, the person, I love. I know what I want now, and this is it,” she said, gesturing toward the documents.
Jack didn’t need to hear any more. He tossed the papers onto the table and pulled Amy into a long, tender kiss that left them both breathless. After, he pressed his forehead against hers, taking in her sweet flowery smell and staring into the endless depths of her eyes. “I love you, Amy McNeal,” he said softly.
Amy sighed and closed her eyes. “No ‘but’ this time?” she asked, as if she couldn’t be sure this was real.
He shook his head while still leaning it against hers so hers shook as well. “No ‘but,’ Ames,” he said softly. “Never again. I have a ring for you back at the ranch. A ring that’s been waiting for you for ten years. Will you marry me?”
Amy let out a long sigh that was all the answer he needed. They shared another deep kiss. “I want to be the woman you deserve,” she told him.
Jack felt his heart go tight with love for her. “You’re everything and more,” he reassured her, giving her a last squeeze before realizing it was probably time to go back out among the other guests.
As they walked back to the wedding together, Amy leaned against Jack. “When do you need to go back to Wyoming?” she asked.
Jack smiled. “I don’t, actually, except for a quick trip to get Benny and my things,” he said.
When she stopped walking and gave him a look of confusion, he explained, “I called and quit this morning. Wyoming isn’t where I want to be. I want to be here in Spring Valley. I always have. Money might be a little tight for a while, but—”
“But we’ll make it work,” she finished for him.
He planted one more kiss on her lips, unable to stop himself. “Let’s dance,” he said with a smile as they threaded through the wedding guests toward the dance floor.
They had so much to celebrate.