“She wasn’t yelling or anything, just running toward a group of hooches we’d set on fire, probably to get some kids out or something. A couple of kids ran out of one of the hooches, and there weren’t any others so that was okay, we checked that, but she probably didn’t know it, didn’t know we’d checked it, so she just kept running even though we were yelling at her. The lieutenant told me to fire a burst over her head. I did, but she went down. I thought I’d missed her, all we wanted to do was have her stop, but when we went over and looked, I’d hit her, all right, she was lying facedown and the back of her head wasn’t there.
“All I had to say at the court-martial was that I was ordered to fire over her head and thought I had, but I hit her, and I’m sick about it. They exonerated me, but out in the hall after it was over, one of the officers called me a dumb hick son of a bitch and said it was assholes like me that were ruining the Army.
“I do feel shitty about it, and I did it, it’s there, there’s nothing I can do about it, I killed other people there, I know that, but that doesn’t bother me, that was exciting, I liked it, but I never knew for sure. I always wanted to. I thought I think I’ll paint my bullets so when we count I’ll know for sure it was me. I knew I had, see, so I really didn’t have to know for sure, but this was different. I had a nice girl over there. At first I bought her, then she was just mine. It’s hard getting used to American girls again. Everything they think goes right across their faces. You can see right through them.
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. That’s what they always wanna know. Who the hell does? Some guys do, I guess. I had this one girl the other night. I’d picked her up on the beach and brought her over to the motel. I told you my car was broke down, didn’t I? Well, I’d called my mom for help. I needed sixty bucks or so for some new pushrods, and instead of wiring it to me, since I’m in Seal Beach, she drives down right away. Well, I’m in there starting to get it on, right, and in she walks. She doesn’t even knock! No shit! She just looks at us, turns around, and walks out! I had to go outside and catch her. She was really pissed. I had to laugh. She asked me what good was all this running around doing me? I said I didn’t know. She said if I really wanted to be an actor, like I said, I should move back to L.A. and go to UCLA winter quarter, they’ve got the best acting school in the country. Use your GI Bill, she said. I don’t know. Maybe I will. I don’t know yet. It’s a thought.”