SPRING
I‘m into making my room as visually attractive as possible. I buy old lace curtains and have plants. I do needlepoint. I was into the feminist thing for a time. I moved in with three other girls. Women should support other women. It’s a rough world out there. But it was just a tight circle among them. It was a defeat. I certainly didn’t expect that. And you don’t get over defeat either. People say you do but you don’t. Sure, you can rationalize it and say, Yes, I’m actually stronger at the broken place than I was before, but it isn’t true. You don’t get over it. You may be stronger at the broken place, but that just sets you up to get broken at some other place. So I moved out of there and now I’m living with three boys. They confuse me, too, but at least they’re safe. I said to one, “Where are the men anymore?” and he said, “Where are the women?”
“A thing that intense has to burn out. I saw one of the last notes she left her: ‘Sometimes I think you want more of me than there is to give.’ I know if I saw someone looking into my eyes with that kind of intensity I’d be afraid. No one can meet that kind of need.”
SUMMER
Ned, the island of Mykonos looks exactly like this. I live three minutes from this street. Life is primitive here—it is paradise! I live very cheap here. My baggage was stolen in Rome. So I am here for the summer. If you can, please write me: General Delivery, Mykonos Is., Greece. I rent a room for 3.00/a day, soon to move to a cheaper place. All the gay men in the world, I think, congregate in Mykonos—the influx begins now!
Love, Kitty
“Two people don’t have to rot together. He showed me that. He and Ray don’t. They give each other the freedom to be what they are. And that means if one has feelings that go somewhere else, then he has to be free to go somewhere else, then he’s free to bring that experience back to the relationship. It’s a pretty hard thing for most people to do. I’m really grateful to him for that. And I’ve had another insight. I’d been going out heavily. We’d all dress up and go out dancing. Studio One, the Unicorn, places like that. And I was sitting there watching everyone dance, and it suddenly occurred to me, No wonder I never meet anyone—how could I in these places? Not if you’re female.”
WINTER
Kit, I am writing this before we talk. What we talked about, I’ve been thinking about for a long time. So it wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. But, Kitten, really when I walked in this morning that was the end. But still never forget I’ll miss you, and I love you very, very much. We’ve had a lot together. It won’t end. This is only temporary, I hope. It’s up to you also. I realize it takes two, but I can’t take it anymore. There’s a limit. But I just wanted you to know how much I really care. And how much thought it took to come to this. So, Kit, I hope you understand and still love me.
Forever, Julia