“I just now realized I never asked you if you like the name I picked out for him. Which is quite selfish on my part. He is too much. He climbs up and down my ribs, chins himself now and then, then decides he is getting out of there and starts to dig a hole right in my side. Usually the left side. So then the right side of my tummy is completely flat and you can see him trying to push his way out of the left side until I can’t stand it anymore and I move him to the center. This makes him very upset and he starts beating on my ribs and then on my tummy so I get sick. Like I said, if you were here I would undoubtedly take it out on you, the closest person, and you would hate me for being such a bitch. And I would hate you for thinking I was a bitch. Can’t you see it all now, but wouldn’t it be wonderful?”