Chapter 19

The sun was coming up. They had been traveling in silence for a while, with no sound but the beat of the horse’s hooves, the jingle of the harness, and the creak and rattle of the gig itself as its wheels spun steadily beneath them, pulling them ever closer to London. The combined rhythm of these sounds seemed to be chanting words in Lilah’s brain, repeating an endless refrain: not clippety-clop, but runaway bride, runaway bride.

She had a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. Why did everything look different in the clear light of day? It wasn’t fair. Eloping with Drake had seemed such a grand adventure. Now, as the light slowly grew and gathered, bringing the sleepy countryside to life around them, shame was dawning in her.

Just nerves, she told herself staunchly. Every bride feels nervous on her wedding day.

Except that she didn’t feel nervous. She felt guilty.

She stole a glance at Drake, sitting ramrod-straight beside her. His eyes were, naturally, focused on the road. Was she imagining it, or was there a grim set to his mouth? Were those lines of strain around his eyes? Was he feeling what she was feeling?

She hoped not. A lump rose in her throat. One of them had better be whole-hearted about this venture, or it was likely to fail. And although she was feeling far from easy in her mind, she desperately wanted to marry Drake. She just wished he had abducted her, as he had threatened to do. It would be lovely to wake up married to Drake…if it were all his doing, and none of her responsibility.

Well, it was all his doing, she told herself. This wasn’t her idea. He had talked her into it. Lilah hugged herself against the cold morning air, trying to remember the arguments that had seemed so persuasive a few hours ago. They eluded her.

She must be tired. She didn’t feel tired, but after all, she hadn’t slept all night. Her brain must not be working properly. She wanted to marry Drake, didn’t she? Yes, indeed she did. She didn’t want him stolen away by Eugenia Mayhew, did she? No, she certainly didn’t. Very well, then. She was doing the only possible thing. Since it was the only possible thing, it must be the right thing.

But it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel right at all.

She sneaked another peek at her companion. This time, he was looking at her. His expression was grave, and when his eyes met hers and he read the unhappiness on her face he slowed the horse, muttering rueful curses under his breath. “Out with it, brat,” he said shortly. “You’re having second thoughts.”

“No, no,” said Lilah quickly. “Not that, precisely. And kindly stop calling me brat.”

“I’ll try.” He gave her a twisted smile. “But that’s not what’s troubling you. Is it?”

She tucked one cold hand into the pocket of his greatcoat and snuggled against him a little, sighing. “No. I’m sorry, Drake. I suppose I’m just greedy. I want to marry you, but I also want an untroubled conscience.” She gave a shaky little laugh. “So far, I have been unable to reconcile the two. If I must choose between you and my conscience, I choose you.”

His arm went around her, warm and comforting, but he said nothing. They drove slowly on. “I own, I’m not feeling as brash as I felt earlier,” he admitted glumly. “Plague take it! A conscience is more a hindrance than a help.”

“Yes,” she said listlessly. “Often it is.”

The arm around her tightened. “I won’t give you up,” he said fiercely.

“Good,” she said in a small voice.

“But here’s the thing, Lilah. We’ve been sniping at Sir Horace and Eugenia for days, despising their cowardice, and now we are acting like the biggest cowards of the lot.” He reined the horse in, drawing the carriage to the side of the road so he could turn to her. “Lilah, my love,” he said, with unaccustomed gentleness. “We can’t do this. We must go back and face them.”

She clung to his hands. “Must we?” she asked miserably. “I am so afraid it will end badly.”

“It may end badly. It won’t be easy and it won’t be fun. But we must see it through, that’s all. We must stand firm. I will be reviled for breaking my word to Eugenia, and you will be scolded for luring me away from her, and everyone will rip up at the both of us for meddling in the first place. Well, why not? They have a right to be angry. We’ve behaved abominably. But running off with each other to avoid a scene is…well, it’s unworthy of us.”

She gave a rather watery chuckle. “Oh, yes. Unworthy of two such brave and noble persons as we are.”

He grinned. “That’s the dandy. We’ll keep reminding ourselves how brave and noble we are, and that will shame us into right conduct.”

“I’m not feeling particularly brave. Or noble,” said Lilah forlornly. She snuggled against his shoulder, wishing she could burrow like a rabbit into his solid warmth. “Aunt Polly and Uncle Ned are fond of Eugenia, you know. They are her family as much as yours. I’m afraid they will convince you to give me up and wed her. And even if it is the right thing to do—which, I have the most lowering suspicion, it probably is—I don’t want you to do it.”

He held her, patting her comfortingly. “Hush, now. There’s no chance of anyone convincing me to marry Eugenia. You may have noticed, I’m a rather stubborn chap.”

She had to smile. “Yes. I’m so glad.” Her hat was being crushed against his greatcoat, but she didn’t care. It was worth anything, to feel Drake’s arms around her.

She felt his laughter rumbling against her ear, and heard it change to a deep growl. “I wish I could pull this blasted gig into that copse over there and ravish you,” he muttered.

She pulled back so she could look at him. “If you are trying to shock me, you will have to try harder than that,” she told him primly. “It sounds a lovely idea, and I hope you will bear it in mind. I rely upon it, in fact—to make you hold your ground while your family rings a peal over you.”

“I’ll hold my ground, all right and tight.” He gave her a crooked grin. “So—are we agreed? We turn round, go back to the house, and confess all. We then listen with patience to whatever my family has to say, beg their pardons most humbly, and stick to our guns.”

“Right,” said Lilah, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

He tapped her nose with his index finger. “Trust me. I’m not as changeable as the past few days have made me seem.”

She forced herself to smile. “I’m delighted to hear that, at any rate.”

His expression softened as he looked down into her face. “One kiss. To seal the bargain.” He tilted her chin up with one finger and bent his head to hers. His lips moved gently across her mouth in a kiss that was cherishing and tender. Lilah clung to the lapels of his coat and kissed him back, aching. It was terrible to fear, in spite of his assurances, that this might be their last kiss.

The light was full, now, and she was dimly aware that their scandalous behavior had drawn the interest of a group of farm laborers in a nearby field. She felt their eyes on her, but didn’t care. There was a carriage approaching from the opposite direction, too, despite the earliness of the hour. She didn’t care about that, either. She didn’t care who saw Drake’s kiss; she defied anyone to make her feel ashamed of kissing the man she would marry. For she would marry him somehow, she vowed to herself. She would make it happen, come hell or high water.

But it was neither hell nor high water approaching in that oncoming coach. It was Sir Horace Chadwick.

He stared at the couple wantonly embracing at the side of the road—first with amusement and then, as he recognized the parties, with disbelief. He shouted to his driver to stop, stop!

Sir Horace’s outraged bellow, combined with the sound of his berline being hastily drawn to a halt beside them, caused the couple to stop kissing. Lilah’s eyes flew open and she saw, past Drake’s shoulder, her father’s face—nearly unrecognizable with astonishment and fury, but definitely her father’s face, leaning halfway out the coach window. His face was larger and redder than she had ever seen it, and his eyes appeared to be starting from their sockets. Lilah squeaked. It was an inelegant sound, but it was the only utterance she was capable of at the moment.

Sir Horace spluttered incoherently for a second or two, then managed to shout, in a terrible voice, “Delilah Chadwick! Get down from that gig this instant!”

“Papa!” she cried. “Drake, look—it is my father!” She squirmed out of Drake’s grasp, nearly climbing over him in her haste to reach Sir Horace. “Papa, what are you doing here?”

He goggled at her. “What am I doing? How, in heaven’s name, can you ask what I am doing? I have driven half the night to reach this place with whatever haste I could muster, only to find—” Words seemed to fail him for a moment. “What are you doing here, missy?” he shouted at last. His wrathful gaze lit on Drake. “And you, sirrah—earl or no earl, I’ll have the law on you if you dare to molest my daughter!”

“So I should hope,” remarked Drake. “Lilah, pray remove yourself from my lap. I wish to get down from here and speak with your father.”

“Oh, good. I wish to speak with him, too.” She straightened eagerly and held out her hand. Drake jumped lightly down from the gig and turned to help Lilah navigate the step.

Sir Horace watched these maneuvers with angry amazement. “You are very nonchalant, the two of you—upon my word! Have you no shame?”

“Not much,” Drake admitted. He kept Lilah’s hand firmly in his once she stood beside him on the ground. “I hope you will join us, sir, in a brief walk,” he said politely. “I trust your driver can look after our horses while we converse for a moment or two.”

Sir Horace did not wait for the steps to be let down. The door to the coach flew open with a bang and he fairly tumbled out in his haste. “I’ll speak with you,” he promised, wrath still burning in his eyes. “And you’ll hear what I have to say, begad, or there’ll be the devil to pay!”

“Oh, Papa, of course we will listen to you,” said Lilah soothingly. “But you must listen to Lord Drakesley, too.”

Sir Horace shot her an angry glance. “I suggest you say nothing at present, kitten. I’m far too displeased with you to give you a hearing.”

Lilah clamped her mouth shut, deciding that the most prudent course—for the present—was to obey. Drake stepped neatly between Lilah and her father and she clung to Drake’s other arm, doing her best to duck behind his large body and stay out of Papa’s sight. They had barely walked out of the driver’s earshot before Sir Horace exploded in wrath.

“I am glad for the chance to speak with you, i’faith! I have a bone to pick with you, my lord. I received a message last night from Miss Mayhew—such a message as I have never received in my life! I could scarce make heads or tails of it, but the gist of it seemed to be that you, sir—you!—were pressing attentions on both Miss Mayhew and my daughter, with what object I cannot conceive! Good God, sir, what are you about? If I understood her correctly—which is by no means certain—you renewed your offer of marriage to her. An offer I would not have believed it possible you could make, had I not witnessed with my own eyes and ears your utter disregard for propriety and decency!”

Drake winced. “Now, then, sir, it’s not as bad as that—”

“It is every bit as bad as that!” shouted Sir Horace, waving his fist in the air. “I have never seen anything like it! You will give me leave to tell you, my lord, that I find your behavior incredible! Incredible! I cannot express myself strongly enough. I’m a patient man, my lord, but you have driven me beyond the bounds of what any man can tolerate! Proposing marriage to my fiancee—my fiancee, sir!—not once, but twice! Without so much as a by-your-leave! With the banns already read—why, she’s as good as mine! Your transgression is hardly less severe than if you had attempted to woo my wife. For she is my affianced wife, my lord, and you would do well to bear that in mind!”

Lilah was really alarmed. She had never known her father to fly into such a passion. He was normally a placid soul. She leaned forward and peeked past Drake’s shoulder, trying to see Papa’s face, but Drake smoothly interposed his arm, pushing her back out of sight. “Well, as to that point—” Drake began, but Sir Horace interrupted him again.

“Is it your object to insult and humiliate me?” he demanded. “It must be, for I cannot credit that you, or, indeed, any man of sense, would deliberately embarrass Miss Mayhew. What have I done, my lord, to offend you? I have no recollection of ever meeting you before! What have I done to earn your enmity?”

“Nothing, nothing in the world,” said Drake hastily. “In fact—”

“For it is not only my fiancee whom you have targeted, but my daughter as well! What do you mean by it, my lord? What can you possibly mean by such marked disrespect, such shocking contempt for my daughter’s fair name? The first time I laid eyes on you, you were touching my Lilah in a way that struck me as suggestive—suggestive, my lord, and I promise you I understate the matter! And now I come upon you—having been informed that you plan to snap your fingers in the face of the world and marry Miss Mayhew, despite her lawful betrothal to me—kissing my daughter in the public road! With no more respect for her than if she were a milkmaid!” Overcome with fury, Sir Horace halted at this point in his peroration and moved to seize Lilah’s hand, yanking it away from Drake’s clasp. “And as for you, Lilah, I am deeply ashamed of your conduct. More than ashamed, I am incredulous—I am astonished! I am mortified.”

To Lilah’s dismay, Papa’s beloved face suddenly crumpled and tears started in his eyes. He shook his head, struggling to command his emotions, and Lilah cried out in distress. “Oh, Papa, do not look so!” She flew into his arms with a sob. “I cannot bear it. Pray, pray do not be angry with me.”

He patted her awkwardly. “I am angry with you, Lilah, I cannot deny it. I thought you knew better, kitten. I never would have believed that any man could turn your head so easily, or make you behave in a manner you know full well to be wrong.”

“Oh, Papa,” said Lilah miserably. “If you would only let me explain—”

“I do not blame you totally, child.” She could feel the anger in his tense arms as he pushed her resolutely away, the better to face Drake. “I know where the blame lies. If I were a younger man, Lord Drakesley, I would be strongly tempted to call you out.”

Drake looked harassed. “I can’t say I blame you, for I don’t. My actions may seem strange on the surface—”

“Strange? Is that how you would characterize your behavior? Inexplicable comes nearer the mark! Bizarre! Outlandish! Incomprehensible!”

“Yes, yes, yes, whatever you like,” snapped Drake, his patience with being scolded obviously wearing thin. “But if you would listen to me for three minutes—”

“By Jove! The more I think on it, the angrier I become! Kissing my Lilah, and at the same time trying to fix your interest with Miss Mayhew—by heaven, sir, I hope my Eugenia read you a lecture you won’t soon forget!”

“Well, she didn’t,” said Drake, nettled. “She accepted me. Which, if you read her letter, you should already know.”

“Drake!” exclaimed Lilah. “The fact that she accepted you is entirely beside the point!”

Drake looked sulky. He jerked his chin to indicate Sir Horace. “Well, he’s beginning to annoy me,” said Drake truculently. “Carrying on as if he expects every woman to show me the door when I propose. Confound it, I’m an earl! Why shouldn’t Eugenia accept me if she wishes to? Why shouldn’t you?” he added, seeing that Lilah’s eyes were growing round with outrage.

“Tut! Tut!” said Sir Horace testily. “Eugenia has not accepted you, my lord, and well you know it. She is engaged to me. Kindly stop annoying her, which is what you do when you persist in your suit. It cannot prosper, my lord. It cannot prosper, and you are making a figure of yourself.”

Drake and Lilah looked blankly at each other. Drake rubbed his chin. “He said her letter was unclear. Apparently it left out the most important part.”

“Perhaps that’s just as well,” said Lilah anxiously. “Lucky, in fact. For if she hasn’t broken off her engagement to Papa, why, that lets us all off the hook. Doesn’t it?”

“Hook?” Sir Horace looked suspiciously from Drake to Lilah and back again. “What hook? You’re talking nonsense, the pair of you. I didn’t say Miss Mayhew’s letter was unclear. It was perfectly clear. The reading of it gave me no trouble; understanding what it all meant was the difficulty! At the end she begged me, in plain English, to come to her without delay, and I have done so. I would be with her now, had I not been waylaid by the two of you.”

Drake frowned. “She wants to see you so that she can explain the breaking of her promise to you.”

“God grant me patience!” shouted Sir Horace. “She has not broken her promise to me.” He shook both fists in the air, as if appealing to heaven. “Are you dense, man? Are you deaf? Eugenia and I will be married within a fortnight!”

Drake and Lilah exchanged bewildered looks. “She told you I renewed my proposal,” Drake said impatiently. “Didn’t she tell you she accepted it?”

“No!” barked Sir Horace. “She told me she pretended to accept it. And that, my lord, is what I cannot comprehend! She—”

“Wait a moment!” In his eagerness, Drake seized Sir Horace’s shoulders. “She told you she was pretending? She never meant to have me?”

“That’s right, that’s right. Unhand me, if you please!” Drake let go, with a very queer expression on his face, and Sir Horace dusted his shoulders crossly. “She did not explain how one can pretend to accept a gentleman’s proposal. That portion of her message made no sense. It seemed to me she was playing a very dangerous game, and despite all her assurances that nothing had changed between us—that I was to entertain no fears on that head—I could not help feeling some degree of alarm that Miss Mayhew had plunged into deep water. And she went on, if you please, to inform me that my daughter was on the point of contracting a most eligible betrothal, and that if I wished to seal the bargain I should return to Wexbridge Abbey without delay.” He rounded angrily on Lilah. “What have you to say to that, kitten? Is there any truth in it? For I promise you, no respectable suitor will stand for your jauntering about the countryside with this lunatic—” he jerked a thumb at Lord Drakesley. “And if you have frightened off a decent man with these foolish indiscretions—”

Sir Horace broke off in bewildered incredulity as Drake and Lilah suddenly burst out laughing. Drake seized Lilah round the waist and swung her into an exuberant two-step. “She saw it all!” exclaimed Lord Drakesley. “Clever, clever Jenny! I should have known she’d never let me down.”

Lilah pulled a face. “And in marrying you, she certainly would have let you down! You always told me she was a woman of sense. Since she is to be my stepmother, I am relieved to find that you were right.”

Sir Horace, spluttering with frustration, tried unsuccessfully to dislodge Drake’s hands from his daughter’s waist. Lilah caught at his coat sleeve, her eyes bright with happiness. “Papa, pray—! Do you not see? You are to marry Miss Mayhew, and Drake will marry me. Everything has turned out perfectly.”

Sir Horace suddenly went very still. His eyes searched Lilah’s face, perturbation in his expression. “My dear Lilah, what can you mean? What are you saying? You don’t wish to marry Lord Drakesley.”

Lilah blushed. “On the contrary, Papa. I wish very much to marry Lord Drakesley.”

“And I would like to marry Lilah, sir,” Drake added. “I suppose I should mention that, in case you were wondering.”

Sir Horace’s eyes, round with doubt, traveled to Drake’s face. “You just told me, half a minute ago, that you wanted to marry Miss Mayhew.”

“Oh, no, sir,” Drake assured him. “I said I had proposed to her. I never said I wanted to marry her.”

Sir Horace flushed angrily. “Now, look here—” he began, but Lilah pulled herself out of Drake’s grip and clutched her father’s arm affectionately.

“Papa, don’t mind Drake. He’s not joking you. It’s just that the situation is rather difficult to explain.”

“I can see that,” said Sir Horace sharply. “Lilah, I think Lord Drakesley must excuse us for a moment. I wish to speak privately with you.”

He marched her back to the berline and ushered her inside, then climbed in after her and closed the door. He then sat facing her and took her hands in his, studying her features intently. “Lilah, what are you doing?” he asked her softly. Trouble was in every line of his face. “It isn’t like you, child, to behave so wildly. Why have you encouraged Lord Drakesley to think you might accept his suit? It is incomprehensible. I cannot believe that a promise of rank and great wealth would move you.”

“Oh, Papa, no,” said Lilah miserably. “How could you think that? I love him.” She saw the astonishment and perplexity on her father’s features and leaned earnestly forward. “I do,” she insisted. “Is that so difficult to believe?”

“Yes,” said Sir Horace bluntly. “His affections seem to list with the wind. He bestows them first on one lady and then on another. And he has no more regard for propriety than a baboon! You’d be happier wed to a Hottentot.”

Lilah had to chuckle, although it pained her to see her father so distressed at her choice. “Well, I haven’t met any Hottentots, so I cannot say whether your statement is true or false. But, Papa, if Lord Drakesley is a hottentot there must be a little of the hottentot in me, as well. We are as like as two peas in a pod, and understand each other perfectly.”

“Understand each other? I thought you quarreled day and night.”

“Oh, we do! I didn’t say we agreed with each other. We understand each other. Agreement is something else.” Lilah bit her lip. “It’s very difficult to explain, and I know it must sound strange, to you,” she admitted. “To you, mutual agreement is the very definition of harmony. With Drake and me…oh, how can I express it? Our souls are in harmony even when our opinions differ, so disagreement is no bar to understanding. We respect each other, Papa. We find our arguments entertaining, not alienating.”

Sir Horace did not seem reassured by her answer. He stared very hard at her, shaking his head. “Good heavens, child. I begin to think you are as mad as he is.”

Lilah gave him a rather misty smile. “Oh! I am.”

He still looked worried. “And yet you believe you love him?”

“I know I do,” said Lilah fervently. “Although I don’t suppose I can ever make you understand it. It seems a little strange to me, as well. You must know I had thought to marry a…a less forceful man. Drake was not what I had in mind at all. But now that I have met him—” She shrugged helplessly. “I can’t imagine life with any other man. Compared to him, everyone else is boring.”

Sir Horace, frowning, was sunk in thought for a few moments. When he looked up at Lilah again, his expression was both pensive and humorous. “There is much in what you say, daughter. Opposites may attract, but a marriage of like minds is more apt to bring happiness. Or so I have come to believe.” An apologetic twinkle lit his eyes. “I adored your mother, but our union was far from tranquil. She thrived on a level of drama and excitement that I found exhausting. Now that I am older, I have even less interest in a thrilling sort of life. I daresay my choice of Eugenia Mayhew may have baffled you, for she is nothing like your dear Mama—”

Lilah shook her head quickly. “Papa, do not apologize. I own, I was taken aback at first, but all that is forgotten. I see now that Eugenia is the perfect match for you. She is clever, but in a quiet way, and I think you will both enjoy your life of peace and tranquility.” She wrinkled her nose, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “It is, of course, a life that would drive Drake and me quite mad.”

Sir Horace chuckled and patted her hand. “One man’s peace and quiet is another man’s tedium, eh?”

Lilah smiled with relief. “Yes. Just as one couple’s stimulating discussion is another couple’s ghastly quarrel.”

A knock sounded on the berline’s door. Lilah pulled it open. Drake leaned in, glancing politely from Lilah to her father. “I hesitate to interrupt while you two are deciding my fate, but perhaps you should consider that the horses are still standing—and that there might be some anxiety back at the Abbey regarding our whereabouts.”

“Oh, yes!” exclaimed Lilah. “Papa, we must go back without delay. We didn’t leave a note, you know, and everyone will suppose that Drake and I have run off.”

“We did run off,” Drake reminded her.

“Yes, but we have changed our minds. There’s no need for us to elope now. Do let’s go back before we start a scandal.”

Sir Horace took a deep breath. It was plain that this horror had not occurred to him, in all the excitement of the past half hour. “You were eloping?”

“Well, yes,” Lilah admitted. “But never mind that! We can do the thing properly now—if you are quite, quite sure that Miss Mayhew did not break faith with you.”

Sir Horace covered his eyes with one hand. “Lilah, how could you?” he moaned. “Are you so lost to all proper feeling?”

She opened her eyes in surprise. “Of course not! Which is why I am very glad that we need not elope after all. Papa, what did you think Drake and I were doing, so far from the Abbey at this hour of the morning?”

“Later,” ordered Drake. “Can you not see, my love, that your father requires time to digest this surfeit of information? Give over, or you’ll send him into a fever! I’m taking the gig back to Wexbridge Abbey. We can tell everyone we drove out to meet Sir Horace, if you like. Lilah, stay with your father—and comfort him if you can.” He disappeared, closing the door behind him.

Sir Horace stared. “I cannot say I like his manners,” he muttered.

“No, they are atrocious,” agreed Lilah serenely. “He orders everyone about, Papa. Do not mind it. It’s just his way.”

Sir Horace looked very hard at his daughter. “Bless my soul! I never thought I’d see the day when you, of all women, would accept that tone from a man!”

Lilah looked mischievous. “You haven’t yet heard the tone he accepts from me.”