For a book I never thought I’d be strong enough to write, I sure have a lot of people to thank for its existence.
Kim Lionetti, my agent who has been gently encouraging me to tell a story like this for years without ever making me feel like I had to. Thank you for your support and for understanding what a journey this was for me. My editors Connolly Bottum, Anna Prendella, and Olivia Valcarce: I could not have been more fortunate than to have the three of you working on this book with me. Aditya Desai, for loving Neel as much as I do and sharing your insight to make him even better. Bess Braswell, Inkyard’s publishing director, I can’t thank you enough for your tireless enthusiasm for my books and this one in particular. Brittany Mitchel, senior marketing manager extraordinaire, and the entire Harper Children’s sales team, it’s wonderful knowing my book is in such good hands. So much gratitude for Kathleen Oudit and her brilliant art direction for the cover and to Eiko Ojala and his stunning cut paper illustration.
All my writing friends who cheered me on and read early drafts, Sarah Guillory and Kate Goodwin, the two best critique partners anyone could ever have. Cheyanne Young, an incredible author and an even better friend. Rebecca Rode, insightful and always spot-on when it comes to character arcs. And my amazing local author buds from AZ YA writers, I love you guys.
My parents Gary and Suzanne Johnson, my siblings Sam Johnson, Mary Groen, and Rachel Decker, my family: Ross, Jill, Ken, Jeri, Rick, the Depews, all the ones I don’t get to see nearly enough, and Nate Williams—you are my family in every way that matters. I love you all beyond words.
My nieces and nephews. Grady, Rory, Sadie, Gideon, Ainsley, Ivy, Dexter, Os, Goldie, and Gabriel. You are the greatest gifts of my life. There is not a thing on this earth that I love more than getting to be your aunt.
I nearly died when I was seventeen, and for a long time after that, I wondered why I hadn’t. I don’t wonder anymore. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10.