The morning sun forced its way through my bedroom window, warming my face. Beanie had moved back into the bed with me, making space for Ray in Meemaw’s old room. He’d been with us less than a week, but it felt nice to have him around so much. I’d swear he’d put on five pounds from eating Mama’s cooking.
Beanie snored beside me, not taking any notice of the bright light beaming on her face. The way she lay, with one arm bent and resting over her head and her face turned toward me, just so, she looked pretty. I’d never thought of her that way before. Most of the time she grimaced or scowled or wore confusion between her eyebrows. But sleeping, her face relaxed, she looked the way I thought God must have seen her. Beautiful.
“Rise and shine,” Mama said, rushing into our room, insistent as the sun. “I declare, this is not a day to be lazing around in bed.”
Pushing the curtains to either side of the window, she let in the full brightness of the morning. It soaked my room and filled my heart with warmth I thought had left forever.
“It’s Palm Sunday,” she sang. “Not a cloud in the sky, and it’s as blue as you could imagine.”
Beanie grunted at her, rolling over and smashing her face into the pillow.
Mama laughed. Her bright smile was prettier than all the sunshine that had ever shone on any day in all of history. I wanted so bad to tell her that but couldn’t find a way.
“Is Daddy coming to church with us?” I asked, climbing over Beanie to get out of bed.
“Well, he’s cleaning up.” That smile was still on her face. “And he’s letting Ray borrow one of his nice shirts.”
I imagined Ray would look mighty handsome dressed so nice, even if the shirt was too big for him.
Reaching for my green dress, I imagined us all walking into the sanctuary. I would hold Daddy’s hand, and Beanie had Mama’s. Ray didn’t need to hold anyone because he was strong and didn’t like touching all that much.
“What a beautiful family,” someone would say.
We’d save seats for Millard and Mrs. Jones. Of course, she’d agree to come stay with us after seeing how happy Ray was.
I stepped into my dress, feeling the fine fabric against my skin.
For the first time in months, I felt that life would end up being just fine.
During church, those of us who had come sang loud hosannas with all the strength we had. We did believe that morning that God was the one who saves. The One who would raise us up from the tomb of dust.
Pastor had even declared that the hard times were done. He said the rains would come along on the coattails of that sunny day.
I’d never heard so many amens in all my life.
The rest of his sermon I didn’t take in. Instead, I allowed a daydream to ease up from inside me. It felt like going home.
In my daydream, all of Red River was as it had been. Wheat grew thick and tall, and the pastures were full of fat cattle, maybe even a buffalo or two. The old butcher charged too much for meat, and the diner served up the best pie in all of Cimarron County.
My dream made me never know about Eddie or Jimmy or even Winnie. The cellar didn’t exist. Mama and Daddy were really mine, blood and all. And Beanie’s brain worked the way it should.
Model Ts chugged up and down the main street, coughing smoke that rose slowly into the sky. Relief trucks never came to us because we had plenty, and we all stood proud for that.
Every table had more than it could hold. A roast or a chicken steaming with creamy mashed potatoes and thick slices of bread. No beans or fried dough.
We were all smiling and healthy and safe.
And we didn’t have so much as a cup of dust.