When Someone Remembers My Father

when someone remembers my father

it’s always a gift

a cousin calls him Uncle Barry

she smiles at me when she says,

Uncle Barry was my favourite

and I fix on her words, charmed

someone remembers

and, she says,

Uncle Barry used to babysit me

I wish I could even be

jealous

because I can’t remember

except through blood and bone

and the way my jaw calls up the shape of his

and the narrow set of dark eyes

the flash of anger

quick

he was wiry, a scrappy fighter

the night he died outside a bar

he fought the fuck out of them

fought like fuck, man

but died just the same

I wish I could take him back

adore him, my most favourite dad ever

and say, gimme a drag of your cigarette

tough guy

and he could say,

watch it, kid