When Someone Remembers My Father
when someone remembers my father
it’s always a gift
a cousin calls him Uncle Barry
she smiles at me when she says,
Uncle Barry was my favourite
and I fix on her words, charmed
someone remembers
and, she says,
Uncle Barry used to babysit me
I wish I could even be
jealous
because I can’t remember
except through blood and bone
and the way my jaw calls up the shape of his
and the narrow set of dark eyes
the flash of anger
quick
he was wiry, a scrappy fighter
the night he died outside a bar
he fought the fuck out of them
fought like fuck, man
but died just the same
I wish I could take him back
adore him, my most favourite dad ever
and say, gimme a drag of your cigarette
tough guy
and he could say,
watch it, kid