Energy Cords, the Empath,
and Psychic Protection
Energy cords are connections between us and people who have been in our lives whom we share a connection with. Generally speaking, energy cords can be perfectly healthy to have between friends and lovers. It’s when a person in your life has caused you pain, or is toxic, that will require intervention to eliminate the connection between you.
Energy Cords
Have you randomly thought of someone or even dreamt of someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time, and they called you out of the blue right after or during your thought? Or say you’ve gone through a breakup with someone that leaves you heartbroken and devastated for weeks to months, but one day you finally realize you don’t miss them anymore and you like someone else … and that’s exactly when that person comes calling and decides they want you back. What both scenarios have in common are energy cords between you and the other person: on a very subtle level, you decided to pull your cord, and they felt that pull. In reality, there is no “out of the blue”—what you’re feeling is the energy frequency that goes from one person to another.
Whenever we connect on a deeper level with someone in friendship, partnership, and so on, we create a cord that binds us to each other in some aspect. If the other person is an intimate partner, the cord is much stronger. For this reason, we need to think before becoming intimate with someone whom we are not terribly invested in. When we connect with someone on an intimate physical level, a cord is created and connected whether you acknowledge it or not. This is partially why I believe that even if we pretend that we don’t care what happens after we are intimate with someone, it’s never really that simple. We connected ourselves to the other person through that experience. And what’s neat about the energy connection is that when you find yourself thinking of someone, it is likely because they were thinking about you. Energy cords run both ways. It’s a level of frequency that is so subtle despite its activity that it’s hard to fully appreciate how powerful it can be.
Cord Cutting
This practice has many interpretations. Some people think of cord cutting in the energetic realm, and others consider it as something that takes place in the interpersonal realm between yourself and someone who doesn’t bring anything positive to your life. Some people want to cut the cord between themselves and negative energy itself, not necessarily from any one person but a heavy and one-sided attachment from the spirit realm (referred to as cutting energy cords or cutting etheric cords). It’s also possible to cut cords between you and certain painful memories. Just as we cut the cord between mother and child after birth, so too can we cut cords to things born out of fear, trauma, spite, or anything that does not serve us. Cords can be formed from a space in the subconscious and can be a result of a manipulation or need for control over something or someone. There are spells and prayers to help you cut the cords that bind you to something.
To help cut cords between myself and a person or situation, I always find it helpful to write on a piece of paper and ask Spirit to help. I then burn the paper to help deliver the messages and send it out into the Universe. I personally add black salt for protection, frankincense to purify, amber to dissolve negative energy, and sage to cleanse and release.
As you prepare, it is important to get very clear with your intention before you put this practice into motion. Do you truly want to be liberated from this person or situation? Are you ready to walk away without this in your life? Ask yourself honestly and be willing to do your part. Once you engage in this practice, you must be willing to walk away forever. You cannot ask to cut cords and then turn around and change your mind. If you think there’s a chance you may one day feel differently, stop here. Only do this practice when you are truly ready to leave something behind and move on with your life.
Be somewhere silent and alone where you will not be interrupted. Sit up with your spine straight, eyes closed, and palms over your heart center or in a prayer position. Imagine the person, feeling, or situation sitting in front of you. They are sitting in the same position you are, almost like a reflection in a mirror, close enough for you to reach out and touch. Notice that from your heart to their heart is a thick rope connecting you two. Say out loud or in your mind your specific intentions for this practice. In your mind’s eye, pull out a large pair of scissors and open the scissors to get ready to cut the middle of the cord between the two spaces. Cut the cord that goes from their heart to your heart. Now take the remaining cord that goes from the cut piece into you and pull out the remaining cord that might still be rooted in your heart space. Don’t worry about removing anything from them; this is a cord cutting visualization specific to you. As well, don’t wish harm or anything else on the other person other than the ability to turn their head away peacefully and move beyond this person or situation forever. Don’t invest yourself in their happiness, safety, comeuppance, sadness, or anything—only ask to be separated in a way that is healthy and lasting for both involved. After cutting, sit in the space for a bit and notice if you feel any different without that person being attached to you. Reaffirm your choice of disengaging from that person or situation. Trust that what you just did was real and believe it to be true. We don’t have to keep everything painful with us; we are in charge of our lives, and the things that bring us pain do not need to be part of it moving forward. You have everything you need to live a happy, healthy, and vibrant existence without being pulled back or down. Your cord is now severed. Walk away freely.
Practice: Cut, Clear, Disengage, Disconnect
This practice is best done immediately in the moment when either you or someone else says something that attaches to a negative thought or energy. Let’s use an easy example: trying to make a break from a toxic person in our lives such that we don’t want to hear their name mentioned. Imagine that a friend forgot and brings the toxic person up. Take your fingers through the air and cut in a Z or X shape as you say out loud: “Cut, Clear, Disengage, Disconnect.” This immediately cuts the energy and releases the bind. Use this practice as often as necessary.
The Empath
An empath is someone who is highly sensitive to outside energy and can tune in to other people’s energy. They can feel emotions, pains, and energy as if it were their own. A lot of information about empath energy and sensitive people is out there on social media these days, but it goes much deeper than a simple explanation that you might be a sensitive person. Being an empath can be the reason some of us get so lost among the collective energies of other people. Being an empath and feeling other people’s energy can easily make us feel like we have a first-class ticket on the crazy train, something that is especially true when too many people are around, or someone’s energy is particularly chaotic.
Being an empath goes deeper than simply having empathy for someone. The gift of super sensitivity can easily turn from a blessing to a curse when you don’t learn how to harness it. Oftentimes empaths become overly sensitive to everything and everyone around them. They can become vulnerable to outside influences and energies, and it can be tough to navigate. They can easily feel things too much, including taking on the pain (physical or emotional) of others, feeling overwhelmed in crowded places, or crying over sad or disturbing news. This kind of feeling can happen whether the sensitive person is told details or not! It can be very intense to carry such a gift/burden.
I remember sitting next to a particularly strong energetic person once at a book talk I attended right after going to a tai chi class. As I sat next to this man, whom I hadn’t been introduced to yet, I started experiencing a searing pain in one of my biceps. It became so noticeable that I had to mentally step back and do a quick inventory and body scan of myself to figure out what was going on: “Did I get hurt? Did I pull my bicep? Did something happen that I didn’t realize at tai chi?” Once I stepped back mentally, I realized that the pain was not my own. I scanned the room and tapped into the various people to see where it was coming from. I realized it was coming from the guy sitting next to me, so I focused in on his energy and body. When the book talk paused for a break, I asked him if he had any issues with that arm because I was experiencing phantom pains in my own arm, a step I was not particularly comfortable with at the time. Asking him required self-trust and willingness to be vulnerable. He replied, impressed, “Oh yeah, I tore that bicep tendon. It hurts all the time. Can you feel it?” I understood in that moment that although it was fun to be able to feel what someone else was feeling, being an empath in this manner had the potential to weigh heavily on me if I didn’t get a handle on it. I couldn’t go around taking on people’s pains whenever I left the house! But I also wondered how many times I did that anyway without knowing. Too many times the sensitive empaths are unaware that they could easily walk away taking with them someone’s pain without even noticing it.
When I was younger and knew nothing about the way of the empath, I tended to follow a cycle of showing up when people needed someone to bear the burden of a sudden trauma that had occurred in their lives. I would stay for as long as they needed me to stay and figuratively swallow their pain and trauma like it was my own situation to handle. I was “all up in it” (a Southern term) with them, in the thick of all the deepest pains they had to deal with. Not once did it occur to me that this was their pain, their life path, and their road to take in order to heal themselves. Instead, I took it on for them; I lightened their load and put myself way out beyond what is necessary to be a good friend. I prided myself on being the one who always showed up when something really bad happened to someone I loved. I even showed up for people I wasn’t necessarily close to, as I somehow knew just when to appear and take on their pain. I offered escape routes for their pain, whether it looked like taking them out to get absolutely hammered drunk, sitting and crying with them, or assisting them in whatever needed to be done in their process. I’ve sat with police detectives and sketch artists to help someone very dear to me create a sketch of the man who did unspeakable things to her as if I were there when it happened. I’m not saying that I should have left each of these people to their own devices when their lives took a hard turn, but I could have avoided taking on the anguish as if it were my own. There is a very fine line between sharing compassion and being compromised.
Back then, I didn’t know any better. I thought what I did made me a good friend and that my special gift was to help people cross bridges in their lives. Unfortunately, once those people had gotten to the next level and felt good enough to get up and start living life again, I was still plagued with the pain I had taken on for them. That pain continued to pile on and weigh me down. I began to live my life as a collection of all the really bad stuff that happened around me. Very little of it was ever my own to bear, but I sure was good at taking one for the team. I loaded their weights and burdens onto my own shoulders and traveled the road beside them. I had no idea about boundaries, energetic or otherwise. I didn’t know how to clear myself of someone’s trauma; nobody teaches this stuff in school!
It took me a very long time to understand what an empath was. It was challenging to learn how to navigate my sensitivities and be there for someone without taking their pain on as my own. In fact, it wasn’t really until I began hands-on bodywork that I learned how to harness other people’s energy and emotions. Even then, it took many years to be able to refine my skills and use them for the greater good of all involved.
It’s unfortunate that the very real issue of pain transferred through energy, intentional or not, is not widely covered or well known. Intentional transfer is of course much stronger, but unintentional transfer probably happens more frequently. It’s not the fault of the person who is hurting, of course, so it falls on you to know how to handle someone else’s energy. I will show you how in the protection area of this chapter.
If you are an empath but haven’t learned to work within your special skill set, think of yourself as having a car battery that offers a certain amount of energy. Once that battery runs out, the car won’t start, and you’ll be stuck on the side of the road by yourself. For the empath, that may mean being knocked out in bed, down for the count. Empaths are beautiful, highly sensitive creatures with a gift of truly understanding someone’s pain. Balance it well and it will serve you tremendously. Neglect mindfulness, and that gift will catch you unaware, with ugly results.
Practice: Outside of the Body Scan
Earlier we did a practice for ourselves called the body scan, and we learned to do a daily check-in with our bodies to identify any pains or issues. We then went deeper into questioning ourselves about where the pain or issues may be located and their origin. This practice uses the same tuning-in strategy but in exactly the opposite place. With this practice, we learn to do an external scan and tap into energies coming from outside ourselves.
If you find yourself in a space where the energy is running high or overwhelming you, it is important to learn to disconnect yourself from that energy and scan the space to figure out what energy is coming from where. It can be very overwhelming if you are in a space with several people due to how much energy is running wild. Your average person has no concept of how to hold their own energetic space. Stressful people emanate an energy that is difficult for us sensitives to handle.
Begin by doing a scan of whatever space you are in. Gently and momentarily tap into various energies coming from around the space you are in. If you find energy coming from certain people, gently and quickly tap into it so you can trace any lines of heaviness and figure out their source. You can still be there for someone if they need you, but don’t take their stuff on and put it into you. Become aware of your own energy lines and hold them in with protection. Don’t give away your energy and don’t take in their energy. Notice where each heavy space of energy is coming from. Is the person trying to give you their sorrows? Do you feel like you are near an energy vacuum? If so, hold your space and draw your lines. Do not take it in. Be loving and kind, but be firm within your own boundaries of where you end and they begin.
If you are in a room full of people and need to be integrated into this space, the outward scan will be a little different: this time, you are simply collecting energy data. Tap into the collective energy of the room and figure out where you fit into it. Again, you are still protecting the lines of space outlining your energy body and not taking in other people’s stuff. Tap into the collective and see what you can offer to it and how best to go about it. While you are in that space, be willing to be totally present to the whole and engage fully. But when it’s time to leave the space, be sure you do your own quick body scan and check to be sure you are not taking with you anyone else’s energy that they may have unknowingly tried to pour on you.
Protection
I cannot discuss energy without teaching you about the necessary skills to protect yourself. There are many ways in which people choose to open themselves up energetically, and there are just as many ways in which people protect themselves in those highly vulnerable spaces. We don’t want to walk away with everyone’s pain and sorrows or any negative energy that they might have brought into a space unknowingly. When we open up to the light, there is an equally powerful energetic pull toward the dark that also shows up. We may not even notice it because we have gotten so good at setting the space to be clear of anything like this, but it is always there as an option. Each and every time, it’s up to us to choose to work within the light for the greatest good and highest joys of all involved. Clearing the space, setting the intention, and knowing how to protect our space and ourselves is paramount with this work. The best thing to start with is to clear the air by burning sage before anyone enters. It’s then a good idea to waft that sage smoke around any person entering the space to set an energetically clean space for working.
Set Your Intention: There are several things you can say while washing your hands before and after working with anyone. This is the time to begin your practice of keeping your energetic space clean and clear. Set the intention to provide the best service you are able to without taking on anyone’s energy. Ask whatever higher powers you call upon to help you in assisting your work. Create a protective bubble where you can give energy but are not able to take energy in. You can personally develop any practice, prayer, or intention prior to beginning your work.
Set Your Space: For a space to be protected, you must create it to be that way. There are a number of ways to do this, and there is no single right way. Many people have their own preferred methods of creating sacred and protected spaces. In my own practice, I move my fingers in a circle facing the ceiling as I repeat these words: “I cast a circle around this space that only the highest light may enter.” From there, I proceed to use burning sage to clear the space, myself, and anyone who enters.
Sage/Smoke Cleansing: Burning sage is a practice that has been around for an extremely long time. You can use it in the home, in the practice room, on yourself and others. If someone leaves your space and their energy felt funky to you, burn some sage to help escort the energy out of your house. If I have a bundle, I begin by lighting it until I have smoke and then blow out the flame, letting the ashes catch in an abalone shell. If I have loose sage, I put the leaves in the shell to burn. I use a large feather to move the smoke from the sage to clean the areas and people, letting the aromatic and cleansing smoke reach the ceiling, floors, and each corner of the room. I then do the same to any person entering into the protected space. I take them outside and wave the sage so that the smoke circles and swirls around the entire person. I have them stand still with their feet apart and their arms out to the sides. I wave the smoke stick down and around each arm, around their hands, up and down the center line and the throat, around their head, and down and around their legs. I have them lift their feet and carefully swirl the smoke under each foot. I then tell them to turn around and do the same to their back side as well. Sometimes I will lightly slap the smudge stick to get more smoke into a certain area.
Mirrors: Mirrors are incredible deflectors. When facilitating someone else’s healing, point a mirror away from your chest to protect you from any unwanted energy coming at you. You can either imagine a mirror or wear a small one, either will work.
The White Cloak: Imagine yourself stepping into a white light cloak all around you as you enter the space to work on someone. While you must always keep your person protected, you also must keep yourself protected. You don’t know what that person will be bringing into a session, and you do not need to absorb it. Stay inside your white light cloak at all times.
Crystals and Pendants: Wearing stones will also help protect you, and people commonly buy necklaces specifically for protection or to increase energy. An easy one to start with is a simple clear quartz, which helps transmute energies and keep you protected. Smoky quartz helps dispel negative energy. A lot of energy workers will be sure to have a smoky quartz on them somewhere if not around the neck. Wearing a rose quartz near your heart is wonderfully blissful, as it is a stone of unconditional love. I like to use apophyllite stones at the head and foot of my table to keep my energy and the recipient’s energy separate. Having two of these stones is very important to me while engaging in this work. They are not nearly as easy to find as most of the stones. The other stone I prefer to have in twos (and equally difficult to find) is the Girasol opal. This is the stone of truth telling. When people hold one in each hand, things come out of them that they would never consciously plan to reveal. I use these when I need someone to get really specific and deeply honest with themselves. Black tourmaline is the powerful protector stone and might be useful if you need a little extra help there. Jet is also a stone for protection, especially against your own personal fears. When I was in the throes of anxiety, you would likely find photos of me with this necklace on. I still have it hanging in the corner of the children’s bedrooms to keep the bad dreams or negative energy out of their space. There are many books on crystals out there; I recommend a basic one to get started. Or, you can simply find crystals that resonate with you and go from there.
Sea Salt: This humble ingredient is an excellent protector and energy cleanser. I keep a bowl of sea salt in my practice room at all times. I rub a pinch between my hands so that I can clear myself of the energy of the person I’ve just been treating. You can place salt in any room to help protect the space and to help clear it of negative energy. Sprinkle it on any person (including yourself!) to help purify their energies. To strengthen the effect, mix the salt with holy water and sprinkle it down the spine, the crown of the head, or on the palms of the hands or soles of the feet. Sea salt is also wonderful for a detox bath to help release impurities from the body.
Psychic Protection Setup
Clean the space you intend to protect. In one corner, place a small glass bowl of sea salt (earth element). Then set a glass bowl of water (water element, preferably holy water or water you have prayed over and set intentions into) in the next. For the third corner, place one burning candle (fire element). Finally, in the last corner, burn one incense stick (air element). Although a Feng Shui practitioner would probably disagree, I’ve found that any corner is fine for any element. Even if people aren’t sensitive to energy, you will find when you set up a room with this intention, it will be felt. It’s a powerful way to keep the space energetically protected and clean.