chapter eleven 
chapter eleven Gifts are those deposits within you that bring the best out of you and improve the lives of those around you.
Discovery, Talent, and shifting through The GAP have now ushered us into stage four of the Purpose Map, which I call GIFTS. The GIFTS stage is where we find our voice and discover our superpowers—the keys we’ll need to fulfill our calling and change lives. Here, we’ll use all we’ve learned and all we’ve been given, the good with the bad, to elevate and accelerate the lives of others. It’s time to use our wisdom, intellect, personality, story, creativity, and God-given genius to help others tap into their own.
Life has been grooming us for this very season and for such a time as this. The drama ’n trauma, the wins and the losses, the trophies and the trials, selection laced with rejection, and the love ’n heartbreak, too—it’s all been the master class for your life mission and message. But what is the mission? What is the message?
YOU.
God has already deposited His message, along with super-attributes and special abilities you’ll need to fulfill His larger mission, in you. They’re in your mouth (your voice), muscles (your talents), and divine DNA (your personality). These are your gifts.
Gifts are the agents of purpose, and the bedrock of calling. They exist to provide laser focus in your life by showing you what your life is really about. We’re here to teach, to serve, and to gift out what’s been gifted in us. The exciting thing about the GIFTS stage is discovering hidden abilities and supernatural proficiencies you didn’t even know you had. These super-abilities and super-powers serve a purpose larger than ourselves.
WHAT ARE GIFTS? 
Simply put, gifts are what you’ve been given to give to others. Your gifts help fulfill God’s game plan. Gifts move others forward (into their there). And gifts improve lives. Note these words—fulfill, move, and improve. These are the results your gifts are designed to produce.
Fulfill God’s game plan.
Move others forward.
Improve others’ lives.
To understand your gifts, you’ve gotta understand what I call the law of interdependency and God’s game plan. Purpose begins and ends with its Creator. Everything created has purpose—a reason for being. The air, the trees, the birds and the bees. Everything in our ecosystem is interdependent—it all works together . . . this for that, and that for this. God’s infinite intelligence and intentionality was at work when He created me and you, too. We’re designed to be interdependent. Just as the bee needs the flower, I need you, and vice versa. The bee has the special ability to extract pollen and produce honey. The grasshopper can’t do that and isn’t supposed to. Neither is the ladybug. But the bee knows its mission because the bee knows it has the ability to fly, to see what’s in the flower, and to transform those raw materials into miracle food. The bee knows that it’s not a swimmer. It’s not a writer or a soccer player. Unlike us, it can’t be what it is not. But the power and the beauty of the bee is the bee knows what the bee is.
You see, the bee knows how to focus because the bee uses what’s been given. Nothing more, nothing less. And that’s how our gifts are supposed to work. They are to anchor our identity and give us focus—the type of focus that creates momentum and impact. Improving our lives as we improve the lives of others. Though our gifts differ, you need me and I need you. The gifts (super-abilities) you’ve been given enable me to move forward, and my gifts do the same (albeit in a different way) for you.
But you’re not a bee. You have many talents and interests. And that’s where confusion comes in. The endless possibilities can be overwhelming. We’re full of potential. So the question is, how do we focus our lives? That’s where our gifts come in as guides.
Gifts align us with the best parts of ourselves that bring out the best in others.
Our gifts advance us. They operate in flow and forwardness. Tapping into our gifts is one of the most sacred, humbling, and God-glorifying things we can do. He has designed our lives to bring glory to Him by depositing within us God-glorying abilities and propensities. Everything from our personality to the way we’re built to think, solve problems, and create is specifically purposed (in some way) to connect others to God and his bigger plan.
Each person is given something to do that shows who God is.
—1 Corinthians 12:7 (MSG)
When you think of a child who does something that reminds you of his or her parent, you see the DNA passed down into that child’s behavior. God’s DNA works the same way. God deposited his DNA—Dynamic Noteworthy Attributes—into your being. When you speak up, use your voice, shine, and walk in your brilliance, others don’t actually see you. They see the God in you. It’s your “It factor,” an unexplainable, magnetic essence about you. There is a part of God’s DNA, a unique strand of supernatural ability, God exclusively placed inside you. It holds the answers to your life’s purpose.
Your spiritual DNA holds the roadmap to your destiny.
The GIFT stage aligns us with the essence of who we are, who we’ve always been, and the “who” we’ve been running from becoming. Our life plan is tied to the gifts we’ve been given. When we understand our gifts, we better understand God’s goals for our life. And what isn’t his intention, also. It’s no wonder the enemy loves to keep us busy, distracted, and spending precious time on things, people, and places that have nothing to do with our core purpose.
When we’re out of alignment, we’re like a grasshopper trying to make honey, or a bee trying swim in the Olympics. Or like a lawyer who is really supposed to be a painter, a customer service rep who is really a worship leader. When in alignment, however, we’re like a river that finds its way to the sea. We’re unstoppable.
GIFT BOXES AND LIFE GUIDING KEYS My love for the topic of gifts was spawned while I was managing pro athletes. This was well before the infidelity. While sitting with God in prayer, I had a vivid revelation but didn’t fully understand what it meant back then. I did know it had something to do with the future, and I knew this wasn’t just pertaining to my future; it was about you, too. It was about the way we’re collectively supposed to look at the future. As I sat in stillness in my prayer closet with my eyes closed, waiting for what God would say next, an acronym dropped into my spirit: GIFT stood for (G)od’s (I)ntended (F)uture (T)reasures.
Years later, after I started to grow my coaching company, I reflected on that revelation. God took me back there, but to a deeper place with more direction. As you can tell by now, I have a sacred appreciation for vision. And I believe this vision is not just for me—it can change your outlook, too, if you’re willing to open your heart and mind to really receive it.
So. Center yourself. Take a deep breath with me.
Now, imagine a large gift box sitting in front of you.
It is spectacularly wrapped, with a custom-made tag that has only your name on it. You try to put your arms around it, but it’s too big. Then, unsure as to what’s inside, you cautiously shake it. You hear rattling and clanging inside. As your curiosity builds, a heavenly whisper says, It’s okay. You’re allowed. Open it. So you take the top off the box and discover it’s filled with a bunch of keys. Each one is a different size. Some are really large while others are medium-sized and some itty-bitty. You don’t know what each key is for and you have no clue what each unlocks, but the keys must unlock something or else they wouldn’t have been made, right?
As you’re looking inside your gift box, wondering why no one has ever shown you these keys with your name engraved on them before now, the heavenly whisper returns. It’s God speaking. He explains:
This, my child, is your inheritance.
These keys are your superpowers, each connecting you to everything you’ll ever need.
They will guide you into everything I’ve built you to build for me, and will equip you to bless others on my behalf for a lifetime.
Your life purpose and divine identity are found inside of this box.
Not in the box the world has put you in, or the boxes you’ve hid yourself in.
You’re out of place there. I’ve brought you out from there to here so that you’ll finally be able to see and unleash what I’ve given you.
My DNA formed each key.
Each key is in you and is a part of you, just as each is a necessary part of me and comes from me.
Apart from me your life will be limited. With me you will be unstoppable.
As you pick up each key and learn to trust me, I’ll guide you to where each key belongs.
Know now that each key isn’t linked to a man-made lock, door, or vault, but to a lost lock hidden inside the hearts of men.
This is your mission. This is your purpose.
Your life matters. You carry My Spirit, and the keys to unlocking my anointing, in your DNA.
You hold the light, the salt, the refreshing, and the fire others have been waiting for.
You’ve been called for such a time as this. The people are waiting. Now is the time.
This revelation gave me goose bumps then, and it still does today. Something stirs and stands up inside of me whenever I talk about calling, divine identity, and maximizing potential; whenever God shares a fresh, soul-bathing revelation about what it takes to be all we’ve been called to be.
He places them there on purpose as a way of speaking to us about us. It’s so intimate . . . so meticulous. He doesn’t want us looking outside of ourselves for the super-sweet and spectacular parts of Him that can only be discovered by journeying within. Instead, he has given us keys. The keys reflect our divine gifts, explain our divine DNA, and open up the ancient, anointed paths for our lives.
GIFT POWER 
First, your gifts unlock closed doors, enabling others to enter their there. They are like an arrow pointing the way, or a bridge that makes it easier for others to get to their other side. That might mean your gifts help them enter a place and state of greater clarity, wisdom, ability, intelligence, health, joy, wealth, and so on. Your gifts enable and teach others how to move forward, to overcome, to improve, to problem-solve, or to enhance their lives in some way.
Second, your gifts unlock hidden treasures, enabling others to tap into their untapped potential and gifts, too. They awaken dormant dreams and ignite what needs to be resurrected in others. Gifts motivate others to work harder, smile, believe, try, or get back up. They’re the “you can, too” catalyst that every calling craves and needs.
Gifts are given to you but are not for you. This is important! Gifts are meant to be given . . . the power in your gift is activated in the giving. That’s where the transfer happens. And that’s why we find our calling when we’re in motion, not in contemplation. Your best shows up when you’re giving, serving, inspiring, creating, executing, teaching, and leading. That’s when you feel most alive. That’s the interdependent nature and power of our gifts.
THE POTENTIAL PYRAMID We all have gifts. And hopefully we have now a better idea of how they work. But how do you know what your gifts are? And what’s the difference between a gift and a talent? It’s an important distinction. Not all potential is created equal!
This is where I like to use what I call the Potential Pyramid. It helps me explain the different levels of ability and possibility we all have. Each level represents a level of ease or difficulty. The easier something comes and the more impact and joy it brings, the higher up it is on the spectrum and the closer it is to your gift spot, your highest self.
The harder something is and the more stress it brings (even if it’s helping others to some extent), the lower it falls on the pyramid and the farther away it is from your gift domain.
We’ll start at Level 4, which is the bottom of the pyramid, and then work our way up to the top.
Simply put, when we’re operating in the inept sphere, we’re doing things we are not very good at. These tasks may be necessary, but they don’t bring us joy. We do them because they need to be done or because we feel like we have to. I would put diaper changing and singing in this category. Not my thing! I can change a diaper, but I don’t love it. And I love singing, but I’m not good at it! And it certainly doesn’t bring others joy—maybe comic relief, but not applause, at least not for the right reasons. I’d also add to this list putting anything together that comes in a box and requires tools—furniture, appliances, whatever. If it involves assembly, I don’t like it! My sister-in-love, Tiffany, she’s an engineer. She loves this stuff. She, not my brother, puts together the complex shelving units in their house and the toys for their two boys. Her mind is wired for assembly and putting things together. He can do it, but she loves to do it.
When we do things we’re inept at, we invite pain, frustration, stress, resentment, and even anger. We’re going against our “gift-grain” and swimming upstream . . . against the natural current and flow of our life. You can do these things, but you’re not uniquely blessed to. They don’t help you maximize your potential and your higher purpose.
In the average realm, you can figure out how to do something, but it’s a stretch. It doesn’t come easily. That would be like creating spreadsheets or organizing stats ’n facts for me. I can do these things. I’ve been doing them for years, but I’m exhausted from them. I felt this way back when I used to do my own bookkeeping . . . something most start-up entrepreneurs do until they hire someone else to take it off their hands. I was pretty good at it, but definitely not a natural. When I practiced as an attorney, I’d put researching case law into this category, too. I learned how to research; I spent three years at one of the best schools in the country. I knew how to draft briefs and apply legal reasoning, and was compensated very well for it. But I never once got excited about finding the perfect ruling. Others did. They loved the hunt. They loved research and legal writing. For me, it was a necessary part of my job. I wanted to help others, and I really wanted to be a litigator, but the reality is most of the work of a lawyer at a big firm is researching. So that explains why I was always so drained at work. I was in the wrong lane but didn’t know it. I didn’t know my gifts.
With focused attention and practice, we can get better at anything over time, which is encouraging but can also be misaligning. We mustn’t spend our lives only on what we’ve chosen and learned versus living where God is leading. Plus, no matter how hard you try, you may not ever be better than average at some things—and that’s okay. It’s by design. What we’re able to do is different than what we’re gifted and called to do.
Talents are the things we’ve become skilled and experienced at doing. We’re good, even great, in these areas. We’re all-pro, world-class high performers. We know our stuff and it shows. We’ve put in time, effort, and practice, which has helped us to get results. It’s what leads to the titles, trophies, awards, and accolades we acquire.
Your talents probably allow you to put food on the table and provide security for those you love. Your consistency and performance are what lead others to christen you with the label of talented—being good at what you do and how you do it. And they are right . . . you are. Again, you can become excellent at anything you focus on. The more you work at it, the better you get, and the higher up the mountain of success you climb. Potential grows into proficiency and even mastery. But mastery doesn’t always equal fulfillment, impact, and significance. The question isn’t whether you’re good or great, successful or seen. The question is whether you’ve been focusing on the inner attributes and abilities connected to your highest self.
Gifts are the things we’re called to do, not just the things we can do. That’s a really key distinction. Remember, our gifts reflect God’s goals. If God had wanted me to be a singer, He would have given me the ability to hold a tune. He didn’t give me that gift, which gives me a resounding clue that this is not the path for me! And gifts contain anointing—that’s divine power. A super-ability. This is how we’re able to exert the least amount of effort yet still experience the most fulfillment, significance, and divine flow.
Some simple clues about your gifts and your gifted realm:
JOY. Gifts bring you joy and they are life-changing . . . both for you and for others.
EASE. Gifts flow from a natural, innate place of ease.
PASSION. Gifts ignite your passion and call forth your best self. You feel alive when you’re operating in them. In fact, you love life the most when you’re in your gifts—you’re in the state, in the zone, and lose track of time.
PROFICIENCY. Gifts demonstrate a superior proficiency, aptitude, and quality. You have a super-ability to do effortlessly what is difficult for others. You can do it quicker, better, and you keep improving . . . quantum leaping past others.
IMPACT. Your gifts make a positive difference. When in your presence, people soar where they once struggled. Others desire, benefit from, and love ’em, too.
Tragedy is being very good at the wrong thing.
Focus is freeing! Level 1 is our gift realm, where we want to be and focus. We want to be operating at our highest potential—in our sweet spot of joy, passion, fulfillment, and impact. It’s where and how we most naturally move others forward, improve their lives, and unleash their best. It’s where greatness, goodness, and grace collide to form our true identity. Our gifts represent the core of how God made us. And the gift realm is where God needs you and is seeking to reposition you now. It is what your purpose journey, disruption, and tugs are all about.
You’re the only carrier of your gifts. When you hide, your gifts and all they contain die. Your spiritual DNA isn’t found anywhere else on the planet. No one has this drop of genetic destiny. When we’re out of sync with our gifts, we’re swimming upstream. We’re toiling (grinding and forcing) versus tilling (grooming and allowing). God’s yoke is easy and His burden is light for a reason. Ease is a clue about where we really belong—where we’re supposed to flow. And how we’re supposed to shine.
Let’s pause for a moment to allow the above to sink in, and for a moment of reflection.
What do you feel your gifts are?
If doubt is trying to pipe up in this moment, resist the little me that might whisper, saying you have nothing special to offer. Embrace the certainty that you do. Keep it simple, be kind to yourself, and remember that gift discovery is a lifelong process.
When do you feel the most joy and passion?
What comes easy for you?
What are you naturally good at?
What do others compliment you on? (maybe something you often dismiss or think is no big deal)
What in you brings out the best in others?
How are others improved by your presence? Your perspective? Your personality?
And how have you been spending your life-energy? Has most of your time been spent in areas beneath your true gifts and talents?
To be clear, this does not mean everything is or should be easy. Nor does it mean that gifts don’t require work. Development is just as sacred as the gifts themselves. Even a seed must be watered, nurtured, and pruned to grow. Discipline gives us depth. It grounds us like roots do a tree, such that we aren’t all fruit so to speak. We need the character, maturity, and grit necessary for our calling—which is why the depth gained during the Discovery and Talent stages is so critical. Gifts need development, experience, and investment to flourish. And life requires us to do things we don’t feel like doing. We have to take out the trash, do our homework, mow the lawn, pay the bills, and put food on the table. And we have to practice, prepare for, and stick with anything we desire to be proficient at. When we’re serious about our gifts, however, we invest in them—we don’t just talk about ’em . . . we commit fully. And we want to be around other gift-minded, gift-investing, and gift-growing people, too. Gifts become like iron that sharpens iron.
GIFTS VERSUS TALENTS Initially, it can be tricky to tell our talents from our gifts, but distinguishing them can be life changing. Be patient . . . it takes a little time. It helps to take the focus off yourself. Don’t just look at experience and familiarity . . . look at impact. What is it that you do that unlocks the best in others? Unlocking is what each of us is built for; it’s what gifts are all about.
Talents often hide our gifts. Our proficiencies, the things we’re good at, can end up becoming our formed identity, reflecting the person we decided to become. The current persona our choices formed. They often mask purpose, and with it, our born identity. Gifts are the things God uniquely prewired us to do. Abilities that reflect an aspect of him and help others, too.
Your best talents, the ones you’ve likely become known for, are like super-skills. Again, the things you’re really good at. However, your gifts are your God-given superpowers.
Take Superman, for example. Journalism was a super-skill for him. But flying was a superpower. He didn’t fly to impress others; he flew so that he could serve others. That’s what all gifts—aka superpowers—are for. You benefit from them, too, but that’s the bonus, not the core purpose. The core purpose is service.
Keep in mind that you may not fully be able to pinpoint your superpowers right away because you haven’t fully explored, developed, or even acknowledged them.
There are many things you’ve learned to do well, and then there are things you’ve never done that you do even better.
Even though Superman didn’t fly the day he was born, it didn’t mean he couldn’t! He just had to discover and develop his superpower. And just as you have multiple talents, you also have more than one superpower (gift). It will take a lifetime to unlock ’em, but it helps first to know that you have them so that you can be open to fully uncovering and activating them. We’re then more awake and able to allow our gifts to guide us into our future. A super-skill (talent) for me might be a superpower (gift) for you. My weakness can be your strength and vice versa. The law of interdependency means this needs that, and that needs this. God made us that way so we’d rely on each other and work together from our individual, interconnected sweet spots to advance His purposes.
Your superpower could be . . .
Giving
Drawing
Communicating
Creating
Encouraging
Strategizing
Organizing
Writing
Cooking
Coding
Advising and Mentoring
Managing
Caretaking
Do any of the above resonate with you?
It’s not an exhaustive list. The possibilities are as limitless as God Himself.
Talents enable us to do amazing things for ourselves and for others. But talents, our learned abilities, can only take us so far. They aren’t enough to get you where God wants to take you. Think of an airplane. Great if you want to travel across the country. Not so great if you want to go to outer space. Things work differently in this outer space—in the gift realm. You’re able to defy gravity and manifest what would otherwise be impossible. Gifts operate at an entirely different frequency.
God’s trying to get us from where we are now to where He needs us next . . . from talent and success to gifts and significance. It takes faith, believing bigger, to unlock our next-level gifts and enter a new dimension. It’s time to rely on God, not our comfort-zone strengths.
Don’t worry if the line between a talent and a gift feels a little blurry. Your talents may very well be closely connected to your gifts, too. For example, let’s say you’ve been a successful manager in your career. You’ve led teams and know how to help people produce great results. An upshift for you might mean teaching others how to manage. The super-skill would be managing. The superpower would be teaching, mentoring, giving back, and empowering others to do what you’ve learned, to actually believe they can do it, and also sharing other unexpected life lessons you’ve gained along the way. If you’ve been a mother and homemaker, then a superpower for you might be patience or organization. If you’re a singer, your superpower is likely found in your lyrics or how you make others feel. It can be anything. You’ll find “your thing” as you pay more and more attention to what unlocks your passions and creativity, and what unlocks the best in others.
The goal here isn’t perfection. When it comes to gift discovery, the goal is experimentation, practice, and service.
As long as improving the lives of others is your goal, everything else gets a grace bath.
Don’t overthink it. God will use your intention to serve to create something that uplifts and improves, to lead others to a higher level, and to usher you closer to your true sweet spot—your purpose place. God is not looking for you to get this purpose thing just right, nor is he waiting to reprimand you if you get it wrong. There really is no wrong. There is only surrender. Belief. And, trust. God will course-correct as long as your heart is connected to His. Again, finding your purpose is not an intellectual exercise, and you unlock your purpose while you’re in action, not contemplation. I’ve got a nice chart that should make it even clearer to distinguish talents from gifts.
Gifts |
|
Comfort Zone |
Glory Zone |
What We’ve Learned to Do |
What We’re Called to Do |
Formed Identity |
Born Identity |
The Rules (Protocol) |
Glory (Higher Purpose) |
Decided |
Imparted |
Doing |
Being |
Driven (Achievement) |
Directed (Alignment) |
Grinding and Striving |
Grace and Surrender |
Fight |
Flow |
Trying |
Teaching |
Task-Driven |
Testimony-Driven |
Super-skills |
Superpowers |
Discipline |
Destiny |
Mountain Climbing |
Miracle Unleashing |
Success and Safety |
Significance |
Labels and Titles |
Lessons and Transformation |
Muscle |
The Message |
Student |
Teacher |
So, again, what do you feel your gifts are?
How is someone else’s life improved because of your presence?
Understanding how you’re wired makes it easier to realize your purpose and to embrace what your life mission is really all about. Your gifts are the ultimate clue to the real you. The flow of purpose is attached to our gifts, not our talent. The Talent Stage simply isn’t big enough to contain the unlimited essence of your divine DNA and God’s next-level plan for your life and light. It’s time to stop jean-wigglin’ our way into a size-too-small life that no longer fits. God won’t shrink to accommodate our rules and comforts. Instead, purpose calls us out of the familiar and into the peculiar—a bigger, God-built place talent can’t touch and success seekers can’t find. Romans 12:6 (MSG) says it best: “Let’s just go ahead and be what we were meant to be.”
