He shouldn’t have even gotten in the hot tub. When she talked about wanting to soak, a gentleman would have gotten the heater going and let her have the whole thing to herself. But he couldn’t resist after the mental image of Noelle all wet and dripping and covered in clothing plastered to her skin got stuck in his brain. If she wanted to hang out in the hot tub, who was he to stop her?
And just for safety, he really needed to stay close. She’d had a couple of drinks and already admitted she was a lightweight, so obviously he couldn’t leave her there alone in case she slipped or hit her head or something. The bear damn well wasn’t going to leave her alone out there in the cold, not when something terrible could happen. The fences and walls weren’t nearly high enough to protect her from someone bad coming in from outside.
All perfectly reasonable, at least according to his bear side. The fact that the man wanted to stick close to her too in the steamy water had almost nothing to do with it.
Jameson couldn’t really account for the change. His bear side suddenly zeroed in on the need to protect her with unerring accuracy. The only reason he hadn’t charged upstairs to rescue her cubs, too, was because of the number of other bears already up there. Even if he didn’t trust the male bears to know what to do, Kaiser’s mate was also a bear, Kara was a wolf, and half the kids shifted as well. If any trouble somehow got past him and got upstairs, the second it knocked on the door it would be met with furious, overwhelming force.
If everyone could pause in all their puking and shitting, apparently.
He sensed her nerves but couldn’t quite place the cause. Was it him? The weather? Something else? The quick way she scrambled into the hot tub made him think it was the unbelievably sexy bikini she wore, which revealed almost as much as he wanted to see of her but covered up the most tantalizing curves. He swallowed a groan every time she moved and the water revealed a shadowy hint of her hips or ass or breasts. He had the worst time keeping his attention on her face, although it grew easier when she blushed and grew flustered. He liked seeing her a little giggly, amused at something he’d said, and trying to resist his charm. Jameson could be a charming bastard when he needed to be, and he turned it all on for Noelle.
She refused to admit what she wanted for Christmas; he hadn’t expected her to admit to something extravagant, like jewelry or a giant television or something, but he couldn’t believe she had absolutely nothing on her mental list of things to get if she won the lottery. Not that it was any of his business what she wanted for Christmas, except he could maybe get something small under the tree to try and make some of those positive memories he’d told her about. He meant it when he said she needed new memories and he could help her out. Of course, he’d had something else in mind than opening gifts in front of the entire population of the building, but that could make its way into the deck.
Everything at the top of his list required privacy. Privacy and a stable surface, ideally with something soft on it so she would be comfortable. He lost what was left of his mind when she looked ready to flee when the flirting turned maybe too serious. She talked a good game but he could sense that underneath she hid more nerves than could even fit in the giant ass swimming pool next to them. Noelle was a runner, she’d already admitted it, and he wasn’t going to let her run from something she’d clearly been interested in.
So he took a chance. He floated closer but not too close, not wanting to crowd her and induce a full-on panic and fight-or-flight response. He wasn’t a dick and he wasn’t about to force himself on her. He’d seen the spark of interest in her eyes and scented the hint of it in her skin when they sat in the storeroom. She liked him, even if she pretended she didn’t, and with just a little encouragement…
“When was the last time you had fun?” he asked. He just needed to distract her a little. Get her thinking about how much fun they could have together. “Ballpark.”
“The night I got pregnant,” she said, that challenge back in her eyes. Pain hid there, too, though. He didn’t like thinking about her with another man, especially since it produced cubs, but they both had pasts. What mattered was the future.
He stopped himself short. There was no future, not for the pair of them. There wasn’t anything long-term happening. Yeah, a fling for a couple of nights would be great stress relief and good exercise, and it would probably quiet the part of his brain that refused to settle down when so much danger could lurk in the darkness. She had two kids and plans to move somewhere else to raise them. He had zero plans and no idea what the fuck he was going to do with his life past the new year, and that did not bode well for any sort of couple.
Short term. It didn’t matter what the bear wanted, he could only have short-term. There wasn’t any reason to think she wanted anything else, if she even wanted that.
There wasn’t any way to find out without risking his pride and ego. Good thing he was known for taking risks.
Jameson didn’t let her immediate defensive response about getting pregnant driving him off and instead brushed a few strands of wet hair off her cheek. Just a quick touch, nothing too intimate. Just a test to see whether she’d smack him away or maybe be open to more. “Come on. At the very least you could admit you had fun today.”
She started to whip some sassy response back at him but her gaze flickered to his and then got stuck. Whatever she’d meant to say died on her lips, and for a long time, she just looked at him. Noelle took a deep breath. “Yeah, okay. I had fun wrapping presents with you.”
He smiled, about to celebrate her admitting she’d enjoyed his company, but her head tilted and she added, “Could have just been the rum, though. I don’t think I’ve had a drink in over a year.”
He snorted and moved his arms in the water. The bear wanted to kiss her already or jump out of the hot water and into the softly-falling snow. It had begun to drift against the side of the building and even the side of the tub; if they sat out there much longer, he’d have to carry her back into the gym so she didn’t freeze her feet to ice. “So you can’t say just one nice thing. I get it. You can’t admit you’re enjoying yourself without passing it off as caused by something else. You gotta spread the blame around. Would it kill you to just say you had fun?”
“Well, if I just had fun, I’d say it,” she said. Her mouth turned down at the corners and she started to look flustered. “If I had fun without rum, then okay. But since we had rum, I can’t say for sure whether I would have had any fun without it.”
He wanted to shake some sense into her and laugh at the same time. Somehow she managed to turn having fun into a chore. “Then how about we figure out how to have fun without getting drunk first?”
“I’m not drunk,” she whispered. Her eyes found his and then darted away, and that sweet flush rose in her cheeks. Trying to be brave, maybe? He swallowed a grin so he wouldn’t scare her off. Noelle hesitated, then added, “Just so you know. I had a few drinks but I’m not drunk.”
“Good to know.” Jameson wanted to draw her into his arms and feel her slippery skin against his. He wanted to find out whether she still tasted like rum and Coke, or if her natural sweetness had taken over. “I’m not drunk either. Just so you know.”
“Good,” she said, and stared at him with wide eyes.
And she waited, lips parted. He swallowed another groan and eased closer. That was the sign. That was the signal that she wanted a kiss and maybe a little more, and he could show her a little fun and make sure she had at least one night in December she’d never forget. Jameson caught her face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over her cheeks, and gazed at her. God, she was beautiful. How had he not seen it from the first second he laid eyes on her in that broken down car?
“You are so…”
Something cold smashed into his head and he ducked. Noelle squeaked and thrashed away like an angry fish, heading for the ladder. “What the hell was —”
“Hey,” someone yelled from above, and Jameson looked up to see Owen in one of the stairwell windows that overlooked the backyard. The other bear was so furious Jameson could see his eyes had gone gold even from three floors down.
Jameson’s bear reacted to the challenge and the other male interrupting what should have been a soft, intimate moment with his female, and he growled in warning. “The fuck, man?”
“I told you,” Owen snapped. “I told you. Get the fuck up here and talk to Sasha.”
He scowled up at the younger kid, ready to charge up the stairs and toss him out the fucking window for throwing a snowball right as Jameson was going to kiss Noelle. Who had fled inside without a backward look or another word, no doubt embarrassed by Owen’s meddling. “Mind your own business.”
“I’ll kick your ass if you made her uncomfortable,” Owen said, a snarl in his voice. It was easy to forget, but the kid had served with the Marines as a medic for some time. He was hardened by battle and time in ways that Jameson recognized, and he didn’t want to get the kid too wound up. Otherwise there was no telling what kind of memories and shit would bubble up for the kid.
“Oh, calm down.” Jameson ducked under the water and flicked his hair back to get rid of the excess. “Nothing happened.”
He’d have to drink another bottle of rum and take an hour in the shower just to relax enough to sleep. Taking an icy snowball to the face wasn’t the way to wind down. He scowled up at Owen as he back-pedaled to the ladder so he could climb out. Normally he would have shifted to his bear form so he could throw the logs around and use his claws to rip them into splinters, but he couldn’t risk Noelle coming back outside and finding a polar bear in the snow instead of a man.
Jameson clenched his jaw on a roar of pure fury and interrupted passion. Sure, there was no telling for sure where a kiss would have gone. Noelle probably would have shut him the hell down with one withering look and a few sharp words, but she might have kissed him back. She might have climbed him like a tree and dragged him upstairs to have her way with him.
A man could dream.
He huffed and shoved his bear side down so the beast didn’t spring free to hunt down the woman. It didn’t help that his phone rang the second he got inside, and he answered to hear Sasha’s gruff Russian voice, hoarse from coughing or throwing up or whatever, immediately lecturing him about keeping his hands to himself. Jameson sighed and stared up at the ceiling as he prayed for patience. He hadn’t had so many people ready to tattle on him since boot camp. Even then, at least the rest of the unit would have cheered if he got close to getting laid. They wouldn’t have cock-blocked him on principle.
Maybe he wouldn’t take a hot shower. Maybe a cold shower was the only way he’d sleep. It was going to be a long damn night knowing Noelle slept in the bedroom next to his, probably wearing some sweet and comfy pajamas. He didn’t need lacy lingerie on a woman, it was like putting mushrooms and gravy and shit on a perfect steak. Simple was best. Simple, natural, warm and willing. He sighed and started up the stairs one step at a time, listening for the sound of Owen or Sasha barreling down the stairwell to kill him. Definitely a cold shower. As icy as fucking possible.