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You want to be happy, I want to be happy, everyone wants to be happy. The big question is: what is happiness? The problem with us is we have it all wrong when it comes to happiness. We think happiness is a solvable equation; it is not. We think achieving X, Y or Z will make us happy; it will not. As Buddha himself taught us, unease and dissatisfaction are inherent to human nature; they are indispensable to happiness in the truest sense.
Happiness in life comes from solving problems. Unfortunately, the human tendency is to create new, sometimes more complex problems, while trying to solve an existing problem. The author comes up with an example most of us can relate to, in order to illustrate this. Say, you want to get fit and decide to take up a gym membership to do so. Inadvertently, you create new problems such as waking up earlier than normal to get to gym on time, and then showering again before work after all the sweating. The takeaway here is that problems are constant. They never stop; they merely get exchanged. True happiness can only come after actually solving a problem. In order to be truly happy, abolish two things from your life, first and foremost: denial and victim mentality. Acknowledge that your problem exists and stop trying to make yourself out to be a victim. Blaming circumstances or other people for your state is a loser’s way out.
One somewhat controversial point that the author makes in this chapter is that emotions are overrated. Now, you must have heard from childhood that it is emotions that make us what we truly are, etc. But if you read this with an open mind, you will find that the author makes a very valid point. Emotions only evolved in order to help us live and reproduce a little bit better. If you invest too much into emotions, then you are setting yourself for a massive fall, as emotions are transient by nature. What makes you happy today will not make you happy tomorrow. While you may want to believe the idea that some form of ultimate happiness can be attained, the hard truth is that it is just not possible.
To round off this chapter, the author asks you to choose your struggle. Everyone wants the good things, but what are the struggles that you want to put yourself through? You want a big pay, but not the long hours; you want the great sex but not the awkward conversations and so on and so forth. The point here is, happiness requires struggle. A pain-free life is impossible. Life is not all roses and unicorns.
