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Since time immemorial, people have held beliefs which have proven to be erroneous at a later stage. For instance, humans used to believe that the world was flat (some still do), ancient doctors felt that slicing an arm open to cause bleeding would cure disease, women used to think that rubbing dog urine on their faces could cause anti-age effects (!), etc. The point here is not to ridicule people for holding such beliefs, but to show that we were all wrong at one point in time about something or the other, and continue to be wrong about something on the other. Over time, science has progressed by leaps and bounds to correct a lot of these erroneous beliefs, but we know right now is still a drop compared to the unknown which is an ocean. We are continuously learning and this process of continuous learning through our mistakes is vital for the growth of mankind. We may not work out things instantly, but we learn from our mistakes and make adjustments as and when we discover new things. From being totally wrong, we go to semi-wrong, to slightly wrong and so on. This paves the way forward for improvement.
This chapter’s key takeaway is the acceptance that we are all wrong about virtually everything. That is just how life is. The sooner we accept this, the better it is for us. When a person starts to feel that they are right all the time, that is precisely when they stop learning. Once complacency and satisfaction creep in, learning stops and wrong is accepted as the absolute right. The author goes on to talk about how people have different ideologies. Everyone has a different perspective; there is no single correct answer to life’s mysteries and questions. As a case in point, some people like to get sloshed during weekends by simply partying, while others prefer a quiet movie or dinner at home instead. Is one more right than the other? No, of course not.
Ironically (but rather fittingly, it must be said), a large number of people who obsess about “being right” about life actually do not live it. Their inability to handle contrasting viewpoints and rejection makes matters worse, as they do not even bother to check if their hypothesis is correct.
To accentuate just how wrong we actually are, the author states that we are actually incapable of differentiating between positive experiences and negative experiences. When we go through difficult situations (often perceived to be negative), we actually come out stronger for the experience. It is in adversity that we find out greatest motivation, and in our most gratifying moments, our greatest distractions. Once people embrace this reality, they see that there is no real right or wrong, not in the way they used to think anyway. It is perceptions (read brains) which influence all those things that we consider to be negative or positive. Everything that we know is our brain’s association of multiple experiences. These associations enable us to understand what is going around us, and help us navigate and control how we react to the environment. There are two problems with this: one, our brains are far from perfect; two, our brains hold on to that meaning. The imperfect brain tends to be biased towards the meaning that it has created. In other words, what we “know” and believe to be true are just the inaccurate interpretation of the brain. Sadly, people put so much emphasis on this and refuse to not take these meanings at face value, despite evidence to the contrary.
Perhaps the true answer to our problems is to trust ourselves less. As counterintuitive as it may seem, we must question our own intentions and motivations to separate the wheat from the chaff. Sceptics may find it self-destructive, but the truth is that few things are as liberating. Our biggest fear should never be that we may be wrong – we are – but it should be being certain all the time. The author immaculately details how pure certainty breeds insecurity and a false sense of righteousness. It is quite clear that the more uncertain we are, the more comfortable we are about what we have no idea about. This uncertainty frees us from the vices of being judgement, of both others and ourselves.
The author goes on to suggest that we ask ourselves a few questions so as to ensure that we are a little less certain of ourselves. These are:
The bottom line is this: beliefs are arbitrary; they tend to be made up to conform to pre-existing metrics and value systems. This is why openness of mind, acknowledgement that you are wrong a lot of the time and a little less certainty are invaluable virtues to have.
