• Fourteen •

This puts a spin on things.

Rumor

It was strange how the light of a new day seemed to make everything seem brighter. The darkness faded away so easily. You could accept the things you’d never imagined you would. Like the fact that the man you loved had held a gun on his friend over a hoodie.

Standing in front of the mirror, I worked a comb through my unruly curls and looked at the woman staring back at me. She was different and not just because there was no bruise she was hiding or fear curling in her chest at what the day would bring. The woman was happy. As messed up as it all was, when I really thought about it, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

King filled every void that had haunted me my entire life. He made me feel wanted, special, as if I belonged. I felt … needed. Cherished even. Violence had shattered me once. I’d even believed it had taken my soul. Which made the fact that the man to save me, heal me, was more violent than Hill had ever been.

“I was hoping you’d still be in bed.”

King’s voice startled me, and I spun around to see him leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. I wondered if the sight of him would always affect me like this. The way his smile captivated me. It took all other thoughts away and replaced them with him. He was my happy place.

“You weren’t there,” I replied, returning his smile.

“My mistake,” he said, shoving off from his relaxed stance and walking over to me. “I left so that you could rest. If I had stayed, I’d have woken you up with my head between your legs.” He slid a hand around my waist and pressed his palm against my back, gently nudging me closer. “I’ve had my coffee, but I was coming back for my meal.”

A laugh fell from my lips as I tilted my head back to look up at him. “I don’t see any food.”

He brushed the pad of his thumb over my mouth. “I’d be happy to show you where it is.”

A sigh of pleasure escaped me, and he smirked as he continued to caress different areas. My cheekbones, jawline, the side of my neck. He seemed lost in deep thought as he silently went about touching me with reverence. I trembled slightly as I stood there, watching him.

“Are you cold?” he asked in a low voice just above a whisper.

I shook my head. This had absolutely nothing to do with being cold and everything to do with him.

“You’re not scared of me, are you, sweets?”

“No,” I whispered.

He cupped my face as his gaze seemed to sink into me. As if he were trying to see all my thoughts. Find my darkest secrets. “Not even a little?”

I shook my head, but remained silent.

“I’d kill anyone who hurt you.”

I knew this already, and as horrifying as it sounded, my body seemed to like it. A little too much.

“Anyone who touched you,” he added.

I considered asking for clarification on that one and decided against it. I might not want to hear the answer to it. Accepting who King was and loving him anyway was something I had already worked through. Seemed I couldn’t stop loving him. Even if he did things like pulling a gun on someone for letting me wear their hoodie.

“I have to leave you this weekend. I don’t want to.”

Even as he said it, I already knew where he was going. It was impossible to live here and not know that the Kentucky Derby was coming up.

“I want you to stay with Maeme.”

I nodded, not wanting to speak. I didn’t want him to hear the disappointment in my voice. He was going to be with Scotlin. Thinking about it and her red lipstick put a damper on the joy I’d been feeling.

“When will you leave?” I asked.

He looked as unhappy about it as I felt. That helped a little. He didn’t want Scotlin. I might not trust him completely because there would always be things he couldn’t tell me. But it was hard not to believe him when he said he didn’t want her. She’d hurt him in the past. That was something that would always stand between them.

“Thursday,” he replied.

“And you’ll be back Sunday?” I asked, needing to prepare myself for his absence.

“Monday.”

I hadn’t realized it would be that long. My heart sank even more. It wasn’t fair to make him feel bad about it. This was his world. His job. It wasn’t his fault that a gang was looking for me and I had to stay hidden. He hadn’t been the one to put me in danger. Hill had.

“I’ll read a lot of books,” I told him, trying my best to smile. “I won’t even notice you’re gone.”

A grin tugged at his lips. “Don’t go that far. I can’t shoot a library for taking my place. And if I burned it down, Maeme would never let me have her banana pudding again.”

The laugh that came from me eased some of the ache. The corners of his eyes crinkled as his smile spread across his handsome face. The blue of his irises seemed brighter.

“I’ll miss you, I promise,” I assured him.

His grip on me tightened. “I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to. They aren’t giving me a choice.”

“I know.”

“It’ll be over soon, I swear.”

I nodded. I hoped so. I was ready to be rid of Scotlin May.

King had eaten breakfast at Maeme’s with me, then left to go handle business—whatever that was today. He never shared the details, and that was part of his life I realized I had no choice but to accept. Once he was gone, I visited with Maeme for a while, then escaped to her library to find books for this weekend and get my mind off the details I didn’t know that were starting to torture me. Like where King was going to sleep. Would he be sharing a room with Scotlin? I knew he wouldn’t share a bed, but how far would he go to sell this engagement?

For the first time in my life, books didn’t distract me. Figured when I needed it the most, it wasn’t strong enough. I was being haunted by thoughts of what could happen with King and Scotlin. The idea of her touching him made me want to curl up and weep. In fact, I had found myself tearing up several times. I didn’t cry often. It was something I had fought against so hard that I wondered if I had broken that reaction inside me. At least until today.

Wiping at the current tear rolling down my face, I growled, frustrated with myself. I was in a room full of books, and I was thinking about stuff I had no control over. I’d done this to myself. Falling in love with King Salazar was the most reckless, insane, confusing thing I had ever done. Yet I wouldn’t change it.

The door opened behind me, and I turned to see Maeme. She smiled at me, but I saw the concern in her eyes. Stupid tears. I wanted to go back to not being able to cry.

“Dr. Drew is here,” she told me.

I frowned. “Why? His last visit, he said my ribs were fine.”

“Your birth control. He said according to the dates you gave him, it was time for your next one.”

Oh. I hadn’t even thought about that. Thank God he had.

I set the book down on the table. “Yes. Okay,” I replied, making my way to the doorway to meet her.

She touched my arm gently. “Are you okay?”

Just the slightest bit of affection had me wanting to burst into tears and wail like a baby. I swallowed it down though and fought against the emotion clawing at my throat.

“I’m fine,” I assured her. “Emotional book.”

My lie didn’t work. I could see it in her all-too-knowing eyes. But she didn’t call me out on it. Instead, she gave me a nod and turned to lead me to the back staircase that I knew went down to the basement, where there was a complete doctor’s office set up for the Mafia’s private doctor who made house visits.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Dr. Drew was standing in the middle of the now-familiar white room and sterile-looking environment. He was texting something on his phone when he glanced up and smiled at me.

“Good afternoon,” he said brightly, tucking his phone into his coat pocket. “You look even better than the last time I saw you. I see they are taking good care of you.”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“I never doubted otherwise. When Maeme takes someone under her wing, then they always flourish,” he said, nodding his head at her in appreciation.

“I can’t take the credit this time. King had more to do with it than I did. He doesn’t let anyone get too close to her these days.”

Dr. Drew’s eyes widened in surprise. “Well, that’s a turn of events.”

I smiled, feeling my face heat up.

“All right, this should be routine for you. Since I’m not the OB/GYN you regularly saw and I don’t know your history, I need to do an examination. Just to make sure all is well. Then, we will move forward with your shot. When was your last Pap smear?”

Oh God. Not that. I hadn’t been told I was having a gyno checkup. Dread sank over me. “Right before I got married, so … ” I paused to count the time since my wedding to Hill. “Uh, seventeen months now.”

“You are definitely due for one of those too. Let’s start with the urine sample,” he said. “This way.” He headed for the room opposite the one I had been in before to have X-rays of my ribs done.

“I’ll wait out here,” Maeme said. “Unless you’d prefer me in there.”

The less people who had to see my vagina, the better.

“No. It’s fine.”

Dr. Drew handed me a collection cup with the cleansing cloth packet. “Bathroom is that door right down there to the left.”

I tried to think about King and this morning to get my mind off the exam. Thankfully, I had drunk enough water this morning that peeing on cue wasn’t a problem. Walking my collection of urine back into the exam room wasn’t enjoyable, but it had to be done. I needed that shot. King hadn’t used a condom with me in weeks. Since the second day we’d started having sex, to be exact.

Dr. Drew took the cup and went over to his workstation and put the strips in it before turning back to me. “I’ve got you a gown laid out. Slip off your clothes and get it on. I’ll be back shortly.”

Once he closed the door behind him, I began undressing. I’d be done soon and back in the library. Free from examinations for another year. The positive spin was, I didn’t have to leave the house to go have it done. I tried to focus on that while I changed into my gown and sat down on the exam table.

“Are you ready?” Dr. Drew called through the door.

I adjusted the gown to make sure all my parts were covered. Not that it mattered really since he’d be looking between my legs soon.

“Yes,” I replied.

I took a deep breath as he walked back into the room. This was not a big deal. I was a grown woman. I was being silly. I forced a smile as he walked over to my urine sample.

The silence in the room felt awkward, so I tried to think of something to say just to make myself feel better. But what did one say to a man currently studying your pee? Dropping my gaze to my hands clasped in my lap, I decided to wait and let him speak first.

He cleared his throat, and I glanced up to see him turn around with both his hands stuck in the pockets of his slacks. When his eyes met mine, there was a serious expression on his face. I stilled.

What had my urine told him? He wasn’t easing my nerves over the exam he had to do. Where was his smile? Wasn’t he supposed to be making me feel better about this?

He glanced back at the door, then walked over to it and closed it softly. Perhaps he felt weird about having to give me a Pap smear. He’d be up close and personal with my lady bits. Maybe I should have had Maeme come in here. I could still ask.

“Rumor.” He said my name just above a whisper. That was odd and not helping my growing anxiety.

“Yes?” I replied, wishing he would stop with this strange behavior.

I wanted the door back open. Maeme should be in here. I didn’t know Dr. Drew that well after all. Nurses were normally in the room with doctors.

“You’re pregnant.”

I sat there, staring at him. All other thoughts suddenly snatched from my head.

“What?” I asked, my voice cracking as those two words slowly sank in.

“The urine sample. You’re pregnant,” he repeated. “I don’t know how far along, and I don’t have the equipment here to do an ultrasound.” He ran a hand over his head and sighed. “I should have tested you before the X-rays on your ribs. You said you were on the shot, so I assumed you were safe. It’s rare that someone can get pregnant taking the Depo-Provera shot. We will need to run tests. See how far along you are. Do you remember the last time you had sex with, uh”—he paused—“your former husband?”

I couldn’t speak. I had no words. I just sat there, not knowing what I felt.

“I know this is a lot to take in, and I am sorry. Perhaps an examination would be the best way to start this. I can get an idea of how far along you are by checking for changes in your uterus and cervix. It isn’t accurate, but it will give us a ballpark. If you could tell me the last time you had sex, then that, too, would help.”

I blinked as I looked back at him. That was a very easy answer. However, the last time I’d had sex with Hill, I didn’t know. Sex with him had become something rare toward the end.

“Sex? Or … sex with Hill?” I asked, too numb to even be embarrassed by this question.

His eyes widened slightly. “You’ve had sex since you left your … Hill?”

I nodded.

“I need to know when.”

I dropped my gaze to my lap. “Last night.”

He was silent for a moment, and I began to twist the gown I was wearing in my hands.

“Was that the first time?”

I shook my head, not looking up at him.

“When was?”

I swallowed hard, feeling nausea slowly creep in. “Five … almost six weeks ago.”

“Were there other times in between?”

I nodded.

He let out a heavy sigh. “King.”

I nodded again.

“I see. This puts a spin on things. Let’s put that aside right now and have you lie back.”

I took a deep breath as a cold sweat broke out over my body and my hands began to feel clammy. I did as he’d instructed and closed my eyes tightly as he put my feet in the stirrups and moved my gown up to my thighs.

How was this happening? I knew that I hadn’t been positive about the date of my last shot, but I’d been close.

This wasn’t Hill’s baby. That much I knew. It had been over two, maybe even three, months since we’d had sex, and even then, he hadn’t come inside me. He had thought it was messy and didn’t like it.

But … what would King say … what would he do when he found out?

I’d told him I was on birth control. He’d made sure of it. He had asked me. I was still in danger from a gang. I couldn’t be pregnant. What kind of life would I be bringing my baby into?

My baby.

Those two words hit me like a sledgehammer, and I covered my mouth to keep from letting out a sob. I had a baby growing inside me. A life that was a part of me. That I had helped create.

“Easy. Relax,” Dr. Drew said as I felt him reach inside me and probe around.

I sucked in a breath as a tear squeezed out of the corner of my eye and rolled down the side of my face.

“It’s very early,” he said. “I’d say six weeks, at the most.”

My eyes flew open. “How? I didn’t have sex six weeks ago. I said it was almost six weeks. Closer to five.”

He nodded and removed his fingers from inside of me. “Yes, but in pregnancy, we count from the last menstrual cycle, which you didn’t have since you were on the shot. Technically, the embryo started growing around three weeks ago. Meaning it was fertilized shortly before. Even if you had incorrectly guessed how long it had been since your last shot, it’s not one hundred percent effective.”

He reached for my gown and pulled it back down, then took my hand and helped me sit back up. When his eyes met mine, I could see the concern in them, and I felt my own start to water up again. I seemed to be doing a lot of that today.

“I understand that by law, I can’t tell anyone, but you have to understand that your situation … my situation is different. I don’t fear the government the way I do lying to anyone in the family. They are the only law that exists for those of us involved with them. That means me … and now you.”

He was telling me I had to tell King or he would.

Words didn’t come to me. I simply nodded.

“I’ll go get Maeme.” His tone was gentle, but I could hear the warning there. To be prepared.

I stared straight ahead at the wall while he went to get her. There was a child inside me. King’s baby. And as much as I loved him, I knew it wasn’t enough to make him love me.

What if he didn’t want it? What if he asked me to abort it? He wasn’t young, like he had been with Scotlin. He was older. He was changed.

Life had changed him.

“Lord, Drew, she’s white as a ghost,” Maeme said as she walked into the room. “What on earth did you do to her?” The fierceness in her tone was almost frightening.

I turned my gaze to her, and I knew he hadn’t told her yet. I had hoped he would. Get it over with. Just say it.

“Rumor.” He said my name with a nudge to his tone.

The tightening on my throat didn’t make it easy to speak. “I’m …” I whispered, but I had to stop and suck in some air.

It felt as if I wasn’t getting enough oxygen all of a sudden. The room started to spin, and I gripped the sides of the examination table and tried to force air into my lungs. I could hear the accelerated beat of my heart in my ears. A darkness was closing in on my peripheral vision, and I fought harder to breathe. Nothing helped though.

“Get her!” Maeme yelled just before the darkness pulled me under.