Mark flew into his room in a flurry of motion and moved to Jamie's side.
"Jamie, what the fuck is going on?" Jamie turned his head away from his brother. He couldn’t stop the tears and cursed the fact he couldn’t move. "I saw Dan—"
"Is he okay?" was Jamie’s quick response, his head sharply turning back to face his older brother.
"He’s okay now. He had a panic attack. Mom is with him."
"Mom?"
"Yeah, I had him regulating his breathing, and she kind of took over, sent me up here. She has him calming down now."
Jamie shut his eyes tight, desperately willing his cramping muscles to relax. Hearing his mom was with Daniel was a good thing.
"Were they talking?"
"Not much talking, bro. Daniel was barely coherent when I left him."
"Shit… Was Mom… Was Mom…" He searched for the right words, but he really didn’t know what to say. Mark swung the chair around at the side of the bed and straddled it.
"Jamie, you wanna tell me what’s going on? Why Daniel has had his first panic attack in years? Why are you crying?"
"It’s really difficult, Mark. I’m not sure I can—"
"Bull. Shit. Jamie. Tell me or I’ll take away your pain meds."
"Mark, I think I'm gay." There, he’d said it fast, like ripping a bandage from skin, quick and pain free. Mark’s mouth fell open, and he sat for a few seconds taking in what Jamie had said. A myriad of emotions passed over his face, confusion the main one.
"Gay?" he repeated.
"Gay."
"Gay like Daniel," he said, because of course he needed this defined in a way he could understand.
"Kind of gay for Daniel."
"Oh. So that is why Daniel is so upset? Does he think Mom is saying it's Daniel’s fault or something? She wouldn’t do that."
"I kind of blurted it out, and it hit Mom at the same time she found out who had assaulted me, and I think it was overload. He called her Sue. Not Mom. She was in shock, and she slapped him."
"Shit, no wonder Dan panicked. He must feel like she was…" Mark twisted his fingers into his hair.
"Saying that he had turned me gay?" Jamie said bluntly.
Mark winced. "I guess."
Silence fell between the two brothers, each deep in thought. Jamie could see the way Mark’s mind was working, knew he was trying to process the Walker kids had a fifty percent hit rate on being gay and wondering how it had all crept up on him. Mark had always been a good brother, an ass at times, but always there when Jamie or Daniel needed him. Jamie wondered if he had lost that now.
"How do you feel about it all?" Jamie finally plucked up the courage to ask as he slipped down in his bed tiredly, wishing with everything that Daniel would come back.
"I’m cool, little brother. I kind of thought what you and Daniel had was very close, never real brothers, just the closest friends I had ever seen. It’s not going to be easy. This—” Mark waved a hand at Jamie’s bed. "—is just the start of the crap that is going to be piled your way."
"I know, Mark, we haven’t decided on this on a whim. We haven’t really started anything, in fact; this is all new. I want to talk, and Daniel is avoiding it."
"Sensible guy," Mark said with a smirk. "Your talks never make much sense."
"Ass."
"Jerk."
"So me and Dan…"
"Whatever, little brother. I’ll freak out, of course I will, 'specially when it comes to the horizontal dancing—"
"Mark…” Jamie started to blush, exhaustion sweeping over him as his latest pain meds started to take effect.
"But, y’know, you’ll be at college soon. Maybe it’ll be a better environment for the two of you than senior high."
"Uh-huh." Jamie was fighting sleep, but as much as he tried to stop it, it was pulling him under.
"Jamie, you asleep?"
"Uh-huh."
* * * * *
Daniel’s breathing finally slowed long enough for him to gather his thoughts. He pulled back away from his mom, wincing as he looked up at her. She touched him gently on the face where she’d hit him.
"Can you forgive me?" she asked softly.
"Mom."
"Can you?" she insisted gently. He nodded, fresh tears in his eyes.
"It's me that's sorry, Mom," Daniel said brokenly, his voice heavy with tears.
"You haven’t done anything, Dan. I was in a strange place there. I heard what you said, but I didn’t listen."
"Mom, it's okay."
"I don’t know how that's happened to me. I lost control, and I hope one day you can forgive me for losing my way there."
"There isn’t anything to forgive," Daniel whispered, burying his head in his mom’s neck.
"It’ll be okay, Daniel. We’ll get your dad here, and we’ll talk, and everything will be okay. You’ll see." She murmured reassurances into his hair, her hands steady on his back, letting him sit a while.
"Can we go back to Jamie?" Daniel finally said. "Am I still allowed to see Jamie?"
"Of course you are, sweetheart. You go up, and I’ll be along in five minutes. I need to phone your dad." They stood, each looking into uncertain eyes. "Go on, Daniel. Tell him it will all be okay, and that we can work it out."
Daniel nodded and returned to the stairwell, casting one look back at his mom, standing resolute in the sea of new arrivals and people leaving to go home. She kind of looked lost for a moment, and then he saw the steel in her as she straightened her spine and walked out of the front door, her cell phone in her hand.
He climbed the three flights of stairs slowly, knowing Mark was in the room, knowing Jamie would have had to say something. Carefully, he pushed open the door, taking in the room, seeing Jamie asleep and Mark standing in front of the window looking out at the street below. Mark half turned and smiled as the door shut behind Daniel.
"You okay now?" Mark asked gently. When Daniel suffered a panic attack, it often left him unsteady for hours.
"M’fine, Did Jamie… was Jamie…" Jeez, how difficult is it to just come out and say it.
"Jamie told me he is gay, that he is gay for you, then you called Mom Sue and not Mom, and that she slapped you."
"Oh."
"And before you say anything… Shit, Daniel, could you two maybe have chosen an easier path in this world?"
"I can’t. I didn’t." God, he wasn’t making any sense. What could he say? That they had done little more than kiss? That Jamie wanted to talk and Daniel wanted to hide? That they weren’t actually a couple, not really?
"Dan, you don’t have to say anything. Jamie is sleeping, and I’m watching. Lie down on the other bed and get some rest, you look gray." Daniel smiled a half smile and crossed to the other bed, afraid to look too closely at Jamie.
* * * * *
When Jamie woke up, it was to that peculiar hospital darkness, artificial low-level lighting casting eerie shadows around his room. He blinked, aware of someone breathing in the room with him.
"Mom?" he asked softly
"No, Jamie, it’s me."
"Dan, what you doing here still?"
"Your mom went home, Mark too. Dad came and collected them. I won't leave, and you were too out of it for the big family discussion."
"What did I miss?" Jamie’s voice sounded gruff still.
"We’ll all talk tomorrow. At least everyone is talking about it, Jamie." He moved to Jamie's side, holding his hand, helping him to sip water, stroking his hair, dropping a soft kiss on his dry lips.
"Are we going to work this out?" Jamie asked fearfully, his chest tight with worry.
"We’re going to try, Jamie. I promise we’re going to try."
"And you won't run?"
"I won’t run."