SIR HUGH LOUGH was standing under one of the exotic trees in the palace park. The Queen was having one of her garden parties and the animals, which had been herded away to the bottom of the park for the day, were replaced by people in their finest clothes. They stood around with cups of tea and dainty sandwiches distributed, by servants, from silver trays.
‘Well, James,’ muttered Sir Hugh to the man who was standing beside him, ‘perhaps the time has come to see whether her patience has finally broken.’
‘Whose patience?’ said Sir James.
Sir Hugh sighed. Sir James Finague was not a very clever man. He was also not very dashing. He was slim, delicate and pale, with long teeth and carefully shaped fingernails, and there was something about him that reminded Sir Hugh of a rabbit, always ready to hop away at the first sign of trouble. In fact, Sir Hugh did not even like him. But Sir James liked Sir Hugh, and would do almost anything to be seen with him. And at Court, where there were always others who wanted to spoil one’s plans, people like that could be very useful.
‘The Queen!’ said Sir Hugh impatiently, and he nodded towards her. She stood in the distance, not far from the birdcage, talking to a group of courtiers.
‘I see,’ said Sir James. ‘Well, she did say she would wait.’
Sir Hugh laughed out loud. ‘Wait? Our Queen? Seven months? ’ He glanced at Sir James, shaking his head with amusement.
Sir James grinned sheepishly.
Sir Hugh turned back to look at the Queen. Day by day, week by week, he had watched her frustration increasing. Now and again, at the right moment of course, he had said something to help it along. For instance, Bartlett, after all, had already waited years to explore the Margoulis Caverns. Wouldn’t he be prepared to wait a few more? For example, Bartlett was not necessarily a man you could trust. Who knew him apart from Sutton Pufrock? For instance, Bartlett did not necessarily care about the Queen. Did he seem like the sort of man who would risk life and limb for her? Yes, the right word at the right time could raise all sorts of doubts. And the Queen’s patience, which was never very strong, was stretching thinner and thinner. Perhaps, with one last push, it would snap.
Sir Hugh stepped out from under the tree. Sir James scampered to keep up with him.
‘When I nod,’ murmured Sir Hugh, ‘say something about how long it’s taking to get the Queen’s melidrop.’
‘You mean, something like: “It’s taking a long time to get the Queen’s melidrop”?’
‘Perfect,’ said Sir Hugh. He stopped not far from the Queen. If one spoke loudly, she might almost be able to hear, even over the noise of the birds behind her. At once a crowd of ladies and gentlemen gathered around him, eager to be seen with the most dashing man at Court. A servant came with tea and sandwiches. A moment later, Sir Hugh nodded at Sir James.
‘Do you know,’ said Sir James to the woman standing beside him, with a tremor in his voice because he knew that Sir Hugh was listening, ‘it’s taking rather a while … I mean … a long time to get the Queen’s melidrop.’
‘Yes,’ said the woman politely.
‘Yes!’ roared Sir Hugh, as if he just happened to overhear Sir James’ remark. ‘But it’s only the Queen who’s waiting. After all, it’s only the Queen. Why should that fellow hurry?’
The ladies and gentlemen shook their heads in disapproval, carefully balancing their cups and saucers to avoid spilling their tea.
Sir Hugh shook his head as well, sternly and dramatically, so that the gesture could be seen from a distance. The Queen was already watching him.
‘Perhaps he’s taken a holiday along the way,’ Sir Hugh continued scornfully, bellowing as loudly as he could. ‘Gone to see the sights! Set off to explore! Gone to visit his mother! Who knows? After all, it’s only the Queen who’s waiting. And who is a Queen to interfere with the plans of a traveller as great as Mr Bartlett ? ’
Sir Hugh stole another glance at the Queen. He could barely keep himself from smirking. She had suddenly left her group, and was moving towards him. She came like a breeze blowing across the palace park, and the ladies and gentlemen around her, curtsying and bowing, dipped like bright flowers and tall grasses swaying before the wind.
Sir Hugh looked away, so that he could turn back in surprise as the Queen arrived. Then he bowed deeper than anyone else, and gallantly kissed her long white glove.
‘Please continue, Sir Hugh,’ said the Queen. ‘I am sure that what you have been saying is quite fascinating, as usual.’
Sir Hugh smiled bashfully. ‘No, Madam. We were merely speculating where Mr Bartlett has got to. I considered that he has gone on a holiday. But Sir James suggested that he has gone diving for oysters off an island.’
‘Sir James, really!’ said the Queen.
Sir James stared rigidly at the Queen, too frightened to say a word. What would she think?
The Queen smiled.
Sir James grinned in relief. Sir Hugh laughed. Everyone else tittered politely.
The Queen turned back to Sir Hugh. ‘And what do you suggest that we ought to do, Sir Hugh, if Mr Bartlett has gone on a holiday?’
‘Well, we must wait, Madam. Isn’t that so? We must wait until Mr Bartlett decides that it is time to come back from his holiday. And then, perhaps, Madam may send somebody who will actually go and get a melidrop for her.’
‘And who,’ said the Queen very quietly, ‘will that be?’
‘Yes, who?’ someone shouted, very loudly. ‘Who could it be? We’re all dying to know!’
Sir Hugh sighed in exasperation. It was Sutton Pufrock, who had been put in a chair for the garden party and was being carried around by a pair of footmen.
‘Never you mind, Sutton Pufrock,’ Sir Hugh Lough retorted, flushing with anger. ‘We don’t need old men poking their noses in if they can’t get up and do the job themselves.’
‘I can do the job as well as any young upstart who could do with having his bottom spanked,’ Sutton Pufrock spluttered, waving his walking-stick and struggling unsuccessfully to get out of his chair.
‘Calm down, Pufrock,’ Sir Hugh said coldly, ‘you’ll give yourself a stroke. The Queen knows who can do the job just as well as I do. But let’s wait for Bartlett. By all means. How many weeks is it since he left. Twelve? Thirteen? Is it fourteen? Fourteen? Well, fourteen weeks already. And still no news. But there’s no rush, is there? After all, its only the Queen who’s waiting.’
‘Hughie Lough, if I were ten years younger—’
‘Well, you’re not, are you? So be quiet. Go back to your bed.’ Sir Hugh laughed harshly. Sir James laughed as well.
The Queen was gazing at Sir Hugh. ‘But you still have not told me what I should do, Sir Hugh.’
‘Madam, give me the word. Give me the word, and I will go. Today, I will leave before the sun has set,’ Sir Hugh cried, raising his arm dashingly towards the sky. ‘Forget Bartlett. You told him you might send me. Send me! I beg you.’
‘And how will you travel, Sir Hugh?’
‘For you, Madam, I would travel through the air. Merely the knowledge that you are waiting would give me wings to fly.’
‘And how will you bring the melidrop, Sir Hugh?’
‘In a golden casket, Madam. On a bed of velvet.’ Sir Hugh dropped to his knee. ‘Madam,’ he vowed, ‘I will bring it back in my heart. My love for you will preserve it.’
The ladies around Sir Hugh sighed. The men applauded.
The Queen gazed at Sir Hugh. Tears came to her eyes.
‘Arise, Sir Hugh,’ she whispered.
‘No, Madam,’ said Sir Hugh, bowing his head. ‘Give me the word. I will not rise until you send me.’
‘Better get a cushion for his knee,’ Sutton Pufrock shouted. ‘He’s going to be there for another three months.’
The Queen stared at Sir Hugh’s bowed head.
‘Send me, Madam,’ implored Sir Hugh. ‘Give me the word.’
The Queen’s voice was choked. The words to send Sir Hugh were almost on her lips. She looked up for a moment, trying to clear the tears from her eyes. By chance, her glance fell upon Lord Ronald of Tull, who was standing with the Prime Minister and some other politicians. Lord Ronald had not heard a word, but had observed everything and could guess exactly what was happening.
Sir Hugh was still kneeling on the ground, arm raised, waiting.
The Queen could not tear her eyes away from her old adviser. Silently, Lord Ronald shook his head.