All eyes latched on her and Felicity wished she had kept her knowledge to herself.
“You can tell whether Fricassa is with dragons?”
“I was with Maeze’s mother from the time she conceived Maeze until she and her mate moved on to the next life.” Felicity had no intention of going into detail. But she knew the nuances that should help her determine whether Fricassa and Aern had reproduced.
“Do you think Maeze knows?” Ari asked.
“Probably not. Unless she has tapped into those particular memories of her mother. But Maeze has only been a full adult dragon for approximately a year. She most likely has not been thinking along those lines.” Felicity doubted Maeze had read the signs.
“Is it too soon for her to mate and produce dragon babies?” Rykert asked. A viable question.
Felix and Maeze were mates, so it made sense to be aware of this.
“I doubt it is too soon physiologically. But I doubt she is ready to reproduce this soon.” Felicity could not imagine the young dragon taking on the responsibilities of a mate and young ones at this point in her life. She still had a lot to learn and experience.
Lajos held up a finger. “I traveled with Fricassa for a good deal of her life. She rarely went into heat. And certainly not when we were younger.” He frowned. “However, as the years progressed I noticed she did cycle more frequently.”
“I wonder if that was due to the decreased number of dragons.” Ari’s forehead pleated. “We have lost quite a few to old age.”
“Those living are much older than us.” Lajos touched his sword hilt. “Fricassa was no hatchling when I met her but she was certainly young.”
“She is not young now. And neither is Aern.” Vidar uncrossed his legs. “It is probably time for them and any other dragons who are of an age to increase the dragon population.”
“They might not even realize their numbers are also dwindling.” Ari brushed hair off her temple.
“Do dragons exist in the wild? Without Aasguard warrior companions?” Stefana glanced at Lajos.
“Yes. Although the number of them Fricassa and I have encountered over the past few centuries has dwindled.” Lajos’s frown deepened.
“When mine moved on, I traveled in the hopes of meeting a new one. I never encountered even the signs of one.” Ari’s lips tightened.
“Nor did I. I did not travel extensively, but I knew of a few places where they used to dwell. I saw no signs that any dragons had lived there in at least a decade.” Kellen took his wife’s hand.
Felicity could not thank Salunga enough for the gift of her daughter.
“I have not traveled enough to know one way or the other. I had Aern and I have resided in Montequirst for over thirty years.” Vidar glanced at Raene. That was longer than she’d been alive.
“Fricassa and my traveling efforts were also limited. We were not present when Atlas sank. After that we did take a year, but then found another position where we stayed until we learned of Vidar’s intention to marry a queen.” Lajos shot a look at his brother.
“Neither of you needed to seek out dragons as you already had one.” Ari crossed her legs.
“Neither did we.” Rykert indicated her and himself. “I have not thought about what I would do if something happened to Felix.”
Felicity squeezed his arm. She understood the pang that had to jolt through him.
“I am uncertain of my identity without Felix,” Rykert semi-joked.
She had no such trouble. And doubted he did either. The man had lived long enough to have sorted himself out. But that didn’t quite ring true. Not so much for him but for herself. Perhaps the stifling of their emotions had thwarted them from truly knowing themselves.
They had all existed for so long that they became adept at not working on themselves internally. Their physical training had been the only constant for them, but she had ignored her inner self. This grim realization made her squirm slightly in her chair.
Perhaps not the best course for an Aasguard.
She swallowed and Rykert must have noticed. “Excuse us for a moment, please.” He tugged her off the couch and led the way to a smaller antechamber.
Once they stopped he faced her and held both of her hands. “What is wrong? I felt something negative.”
“We have spent so much time training our bodies over the years, but I’ve failed to spend even a minute working on my psyche. I have not spent any time bettering myself.” She forced herself to look at him. This new awareness kept shooting edgy energy through her at such neglect.
His lips curled as though he sought to reassure her, but all animation suspended until a shaky breath escaped.
A low moan of recognition followed.
Rykert’s mouth shut, opened, then shut again. “I…” But that was all he managed.
“Yes. We have spent so much time working on one aspect of ourselves, but have neglected the others.”
This time she tugged him back into the main area to the interest of everyone seated there. No one asked what their hasty conference had been about. Felicity told them anyway.
She mentioned her fears at not truly knowing who she was inside because without emotions for all those years she’d focused solely on the outside, but forgot about the other part of her.
“I believe this is why my warrior instincts have called a halt to our union.” She brushed nonexistent lint off her trousers. “How can we join our lives together when we do not truly know who we are other than Aasguard?”
‡‡
His entire world tilted in a nauseating manner. Rykert swallowed to ease the symptoms and grappled to take control of his thoughts and emotions. Finding one’s mate was not for the faint of heart.
Which he had unknowingly been.
The other Aasguards in the room did not gape, they had too much discipline for that, but all of them were riveted on Felicity. The sound that croaked from the back of Lajos’s throat summed up their collective thoughts.
They might not be able to read each others thoughts, but they could evince enough to give them a general idea.
Right now shock, chagrin, a smattering of anger, and disbelief rumbled through the room. Their two newest Aasguards blinked but did not react otherwise. The two queens had been human and had not recognized their slow transition to Aasguard. Their emotions remained intact.
“What does this mean?” Ari stepped into the conversation first.
Felicity forged a path to the couch they had left and he followed. She retained her grip on his hand. He knew gratitude. Weathering this unwelcome but necessary revelation required physical contact with her.
“For Rykert and me, it means before we join our lives together we should probably sort out who we are.” Felicity tossed her long braid over her shoulder. “The rest of you will need to sort out what this means for you and your relationship individually.”
It would likely affect the warrior pair who were both longtime Aasguards the most. Kellen and Ari glanced at each other. “We have been slowly discovering this. Although as we encounter issues, we deal with them.” Ari focused on her.
Kellen nodded. “Together.” His hand wrapped around Ari’s in a show of solidarity.
“Marriage brings issues, but it is also wonderful. You will learn things about yourself you never knew lurked there. But you also have someone on the journey with you and that makes all the difference.” Ari’s hand tightened momentarily on Kellen’s.
“I never thought to delve inside myself.” Vidar’s voice cracked.
Lajos shook his head. “Neither have I.” The brothers communicated silently.
“You have both been rather busy. But my warrior’s instinct halted me from marrying Rykert immediately because I suppose I need to face something I have buried deep. I do not know what that is yet.” Felicity brushed hair off her face.
“There are no rules to betrothals, you know.” Raene straightened her skirts. “Most of us here married quickly. That does not mean you must do the same. You appear to have made a commitment and that is wonderful. But you can focus on your task, and you have the dragons with you so you will be chaperoned.” Raene made a point with her statement. He and Felicity could travel together as long as they had their dragons.
“No one said you have to follow our course. Create your own path to marriage.” Stefana shrugged. Both queens’ words appeared to resonate with Felicity. At least if what he felt within her was real.
“We do not need to mate as the others have. How do we know they did it right?” Rykert injected the note of levity previously missing.
He had no intention of running from the sobering revelations this discussion had excavated. The problem stemmed from him and his colleagues not engaging in many of these relics of the past. The drawbacks of muted emotions kept making themselves known. Here he learned a few uncomfortable truths about himself.
In the past he had always avoided these uncomfortable discussions. The use of laughter and joking to deflect from having to think deeper had somehow become normal for him. Felix had only added to this evasion tactic.
While this worked, it had also buried a few things that perhaps had been laid to rest prematurely. Now those concerns clawed their way to the surface and he was no more willing to deal with them now than in the past.
Then Felicity shifted on the couch beside him and his attention slammed back to her. Maybe it was supposed to be this way. Maybe he had shelved these things because he lacked the proper resources to deal with them then. Now he did. He had a partner in which to help him sort through the lurking problems and he could also help her.
This is why two were better than one. Two Aasguards or two people in general. A warrior and a dragon worked, but when quandaries arose a dragon was found wanting of the resources to help him cope and vice versa. Their physiology and mentality were obviously too different.
A life with Felicity beckoned in ways he had not even considered. Their discussion appeared to point her toward him. Rykert appreciated when matters worked in his favor.
The overwhelming urge to bind her to him had paled once he realized her warrior instincts pressed her so hard. Now he understood why. And as encouraged by their friends, could see that waiting until he and Felicity were ready made sense.
Did he want to marry her right now? Of course. Her hesitation had nothing to do with doubts about him. Well, perhaps some doubts as to his inner fortitude, but mainly it stemmed from her own inner fortitude.
Her trepidation made sense in a way that it had not yesterday.
He had no desire to wait for another year, but he had waited this long, a little longer would not be too much of a hardship.
Hopefully…
‡‡
Relieved laughter circulated and Felicity reached for Rykert’s hand before realizing she already held it. They sat with their hands still clasped so she squeezed his and smiled into his eyes.
The man’s red gold curls lit with sunlight and she caught her breath. She had never envisioned a mate. Never thought this possible. It helped to not have a preconceived notion of a man because this one fit her perfectly.
If she had thought about what she wanted and dreamed about a future relationship she might have missed the perfect man for her. His sense of humor called to her, shook her out of her tendency to look at things from a grimmer perspective.
The necessity that female Aasguards had to work harder than their male counterparts had changed her over the years. Made her a little cynical and quieter. She lost the sunnier parts of herself as their dispirited reality made itself known.
Now she embraced the hope that her outlook changed to one more enjoyable for her and others. Maeze in her youthful zest had already aided this and now Rykert and Felix should help to shake her out of the melancholy that had slowly settled over her.
No wonder she had contemplated moving on to the next life. She sought refuge at Montequirst in order to either validate her thoughts or change her mind. Becoming enmeshed with other Aasguard warriors who had changed their lives had changed hers.
When she looked at her future the picture coalesced into a much more enjoyable one. Had she chosen to move on, she would have missed out on so much. The notion that Rykert was her future husband and they needed to be together strengthened.
Their hands fit perfectly and he made her want to be better at everything she did. That had to count for something.
And she thought she might encourage him to do the same. He had shown he had a serious side and he could think on deep issues with intellect and complexity. The man might know the right time to make people laugh but he also recognized the wrong times.
She hadn’t known if that would be true for him or not. Now she did.
His hand was warm in her own and she liked how his curled around hers in a protective manner yet also something more. As though emotions and feelings were entangled within as well. That meant more to her than she would ever be able to express to him.
Somehow, Felicity guessed he understood. Their abilities did aid them in all of this. The long years had given them a few extra gifts and she was grateful.
Now she listened to the others discuss their unions and she paid attention, content to listen. She and Rykert weren’t ready to jump into marriage as the three other couples had done. A little voice in the back of her mind piped up that doing so had worked for the royals and their sister. But that path would not be hers and Rykert’s.
And both of them were content with their own path. They would take this courting time for what it had always been intended to be. An opportunity to get to know each other. To make certain they were compatible.
In the back of her mind Felicity realized she and Rykert could jump into marriage right now and they would be fine. However, she rather looked forward to this learning-about-one-another time the others had not enjoyed.
They had all been thrust into marriage in the flash of a sword.
But she and Rykert would enjoy their courtship.
Then there were their dragons. Maeze could mate, only it seemed too soon.
Felicity wondered how things in the treasury were going with those two dragons. Thank goodness for Aern and Fricassa’s presence. She thought the male Aasguard, Wystan, who she had yet to meet, might have arrived on a dragon as well.
Aasguard warriors flew in and out with their dragons from the sound of things. Ari had mentioned that during the entire process of building the school they had warriors who came to witness this piece of their history. They all wished to be a part, however small, of the first of its kind.
An actual school for new Aasguard warriors.
She caught Ari’s eye. “None of the Aasguard warriors who have visited opposed the school?”
Ari’s head shake looked definite. “Not one. They are encouraged and excited about this opportunity.” Her face glowed in the morning sun.
“I hoped that would be the case. One never knows with us. Sometimes we get set in our ways.” She spoke more tongue in cheek, and wondered how Rykert had already instilled a few of his traits into her. She didn’t typically make jokes.
“We do. In this new age for us, we all seem to understand instinctively that we need a school. They have all come to witness this and aid us however we might require.”
“And they were curious about a married Aasguard couple.” Felicity knew this the same as she knew the sun would rise.
“Of course. Kellen and I have provided them with much hope. Many made plans to visit Vidar and Raene in Montequirst and Lajos and Stefana in Swiftland.”
“While doing so, the possibilities opened for them personally as they researched what they might enjoy doing now.” She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Yes, these are exciting times for us.”
“It is. When do you and Rykert plan to leave for Atlas?”
“We have not discussed that yet, although I expect within the next twenty-four hours.” Felicity was aware of Rykert in conversation with Vidar who sat on his other side. “First we should go visit our dragons and determine that situation.”
“You might need to be chaperons for Felix and Maeze.”