The Journey

As the sounds of the holiday merriment grew out side her door, Cassandra began her walk down the path within her mind. The further away she got from the life she knew the darker her surroundings became. She continued her long journey in what could only be described as a blackened vas of nothingness. Her stomach began to quiver at the fear of what she might find, so she stopped. As she stood in the eerie silence she thought about what she hoped to find. If there were answers would they be enough to satisfy her.

The madness of what she was doing became very clear when heard her husband's sweet voice whispering her name from a distance. As the warm breath from the whisper touched her ear she remembered what was important in her life. Everything she had ever wanted was back towards the lighted room where she had come from. Without any further thought she turned around to go back.

Before she had a chance to move her right hand automatically raised and cupped her mouth as it dropped open. She could not believe what was happening. The light that would guide her back to her bedroom was slipping away from her and fast. With no time to lose she decided to make a run for it. Unfortunately, her legs felt as if they were moving in slow motion.

Panic soon swept over her as she found herself going nowhere but still racing towards her life. It didn't seem to matter how fast she ran the light from her room kept getting smaller. Her heart pounded louder against her chest while her breath grew heavy with each step of her feet. She continued to run as fast as she could until there was nothing left to chase and she had no other choice than to stop.

Quickly she turned in a complete circle hoping there was another sign of light. But to her dismay there was none. Now fully engulfed by the emptiness she wondered how she was going to get to her husband and children. As she pondered upon her situation she could see her words stream past her. 'How could this be?' one sentence read, and another 'what was that?' The whole thing caught her by surprise at first, but she soon realized it made perfect sense for her to see her thoughts since she was indeed in her own mind. For awhile she continued to watch her thoughts roll by. But eventually she became tired of it and placed her face into her hands. She could no longer bear seeing her own answers to her questions, and prayed whatever brought her here would also take her back.

With her eyes covered she listened intensely to everything around her. She hoped the sounds of Christmas merriment would return followed by the light. However, her hopes were dashed when the only sound she heard was the void of what wasn’t. A heavy sigh of defeat escaped her lips as she opened her eyes knowing she still stood inside the darkness of her mind. Finally she understood she had to continue forward if she wanted to go back.

Slowly she turned upon the floorless space with her arms wrapped around her to fight off the chill. With her direction unknown she turned and turned until she found herself spinning out of control. She stretched out her arms frantically trying to catch something within the darkness that could stop her. Just as she thought there would be no end she saw what she thought was a small speck of light streak by.

All of a sudden she stopped spinning and her body abruptly dropped. Her eyes took some time to stop moving, but once they did she noticed the light was in front of her. As she stared toward it, it twinkled and danced beckoning her to get up and walk. Though uncertain of what she would find inside the mysterious light she complied and cautiously made her way towards it.

As she began her journey down the darkened path she wondered if this light would to soon disappear like the other. Yet something deep inside her carried her onward. Along the way she felt something was changing so she glanced around and noticed slightly discolored circles beginning to form on each side of her. Curious she step towards one of the circles on her right and stretched out her hand.

Somewhat afraid of what would happen she hesitated. She then glanced back towards the light. Once she knew it wasn't going anywhere she turned back towards the circle. With her hand close enough she used her finger tip to touch the center. When she retracted her hand the circle began to ripple. It soon began to stretch itself into other shapes.

Amazed at the sight she thought about taking a step back but did not dare. She could not help but watch as the circle turn into an oval then into a rectangle, all the while still rippling as if it were liquid. Transfixed on what was transforming in front of her she continued to watch as the ripples finally came to a stop and turned into something more solid.

A large wooden door soon formed along with its brass knob. Not sure if it were real she slowly stepped in closer. She then placed her hand against the wood. It was indeed solid. Knowing it was real she lowered her hand and wrapped her fingers around the knob. As soon as she clinched tight she felt a warm sense of contentment sweep over her. No longer afraid she turned it.

When she opened the door a bright white light rushed towards her only to vanish as it reached her. After rubbing her eyes and a few blinks she was able to see the back of a dark haired young man dressed in jeans and a white tee-shirt. She noticed he stood in a kitchen and had grabbed something off of one of the countertops. Unable to see what it was she watched as he walked away from her. She could tell by his slow pace that he must be carrying something of importance. Intrigued to find out what it was she stood in the doorway holding onto the door.

She watched him walk out from the kitchen when she realized there was something familiar in the way he carried himself. It wasn't until he had reached the end of the table filled with children on each side and turned around that she recognized his face. The corners of her mouth crept upwards into a gentle smile as she watched her father placed the cake in front of the blond haired girl.

What started out as a distant scene soon zoomed in closer, allowing her to see the cake. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. In the middle stood a Barbie doll with a blue icing top that flowed down towards the purple and blue striped covered skirt. If she remembered correctly the inside was made from her favorite flavor, chocolate. She began to lick her lips as she waited in anticipation for what was to come next. Then she saw her father lean over with a lighter in hand. This was it, the big moment. The candles sticking out of the skirt were lit.

As the flames danced she listened while her father started the birthday song. When the others joined in so did she. With each note she felt the love for her father grow and soon one lonely tear escaped her eye. Unfortunately everything has an end and so did the song. When it was over she wiped away the water from her cheek and watched the girl with golden blond curls leaned over as her father held her hair back.

"Now make a wish, Cassy," he stated.

The smaller version of herself closed her eyes tightly and mumbled quietly under her breath. When her lips stopped moving she popped her eyes back open and took a deep breath. Then with a little help from her father the two of them blew. The flames flickered from side to side as they fought hard against the winds, but they never stood a chance once the two of them teamed up.

When the last candle was snuffed Cassandra found herself with her lips puckered as if she too were blowing. She knew what she had wished for that eighth birthday. When they began to cut the cake she unknowingly whispered out loud, "Barbie Town house." As soon as she heard herself she clapped her hand over her mouth. She looked around the room to see if anyone had heard her and much to her relief no one had. The scene continued to play just the way she had remembered and once the gift she had wished for was opened she decided it was time to leave.

Leaving behind the happiness she once knew she stood in the darkened empty space with only one light to guide her. She turned towards it and continued her journey. This time she noticed the path didn't seem as dark as before. New doors were constantly forming on both sides of her, but when she looked forward the light strangely seemed to stay at a constant distance.

As time went by she began to have doubts that she was indeed moving. She turned her head towards her left at the only objects that could confirm her movement. When she saw the doors were still passing her by she wondered if they were moving and not her. Before she had the chance to ponder on it one of the doors caught her attention. It was not like any of the others with its dark almost charcoal like color. Stunned at the discoloration she stopped to investigate.

With her hand she touched the door and found it to be rougher than the last. But that wasn't the only difference. When she grabbed a hold of the tarnished knob for some reason it did not give her the same feeling as before. The deep despair she felt made her more curious of what was on the other side. Wanting to know what could cause so much grief she decided to open it.

It was now three years later and her father lay quietly in a beautifully carved wooden bed surrounded by the emotional wailings of people dressed in the darkest clothing they could find. At eleven she stood along side her mother not understanding why her father wasn't coming back. Even more confusing was how everyone around them was being so nice.

Now she was older and understood, but it didn't make the loss any easier. She felt the warm stream of tears run down her face as she thought of her father's passing. The pain of losing her father grew as she watched her mother barely able to walk up the steps to the light wooden coffin. When she spotted her younger self dash towards her mother she felt a strong urge to go inside. She tried to rush in and comfort herself, but an invisible barrier only allowed her to go for a short distance. When it snapped back it sent her out into the dimly lit path, landing on her rear-end then before she had the chance to get back up the door slammed shut. She now realized she was not allowed to interfere with the past.

Gradually she stood back up and straightened her hair. She could not believe her mind would turn on her like that. Did she not have full control over what happens inside? Needing to find another happier memory to get rid of the pain in her heart she walked over to the next door. This time she would just watch no matter what it revealed.

Without hesitation she grabbed the knob and to her surprise it dissolved in her hand. Thinking the door was not meant to be opened she walked over to another only to have it do the same. Trying to stay calm she made her way to the next. This time as she reached for the knob the door itself began to disappear.

"No…no," Cassandra cried. She quickly looked back from where she had come and noticed nothing but darkness. When she looked ahead the doors in front of her were dissolving. Frantic she began to run as fast as she could to get ahead of the void before it could completely engulf her. However, just when she thought she was pushing ahead another door vanished beside her, letting her know the darkness was gaining ground. Knowing her only hope was to reach the light she picked up her speed.

Her legs were almost a blur as they tried hard to press forward, but it did not matter how fast she ran the brightness stayed the same. She felt as if she was running in place. Yet, when she glanced behind her she could see the path being devoured by the emptiness. She then knew she had to be heading somewhere, but where?

As the doors continued to vanish Cassandra's body grew tired. There seemed to be no end in sight, and no goal that could be reached. She decided to give up and stop. All the hopes of finding out what was happening to her were dashed in an instant. Needing to catch her breath she leaned over.

With her hands upon her knees and her head facing down she was ready to give into the darkness. As she braced herself for the unknown a warm sensation brushed the side of her. When she looked over she could see the light coming towards her. The brightness grew larger the closer it became. Even though it showed nothing of what it held inside she heard a deep rumble.

"Cassandra, it is time. You may come in or open the door."

Confused Cassandra stood in front of the light trying to figure out what it meant. She knew there were no doors for she had watched them all disappear. Was this just another trick her mind was playing on her? She then sensed something to her right. When she turned her head there stood one lonely door. She stepped a little closer and noticed this one looked newer than the others. Not understanding she turned back towards the light and asked, "If I choose the door what will I find?"

"I cannot answer that of which you already know."

"Home…," Cassandra let out with a hint of joy. "It leads home."

"You have made your choice."

"What?" Cassandra barely spoke. Before she had a chance to ask any more questions the light was sucked back into the darkness, leaving her alone. Now she was left wondering, how she could have made a choice when she didn't even give an answer. Hoping the choice that was left truly led to home she turned back towards her only way out of the darkness.

She stood in front of the door staring at it when she saw little streams of light pushing their way through the frame. Slowly she walked closer as the silence grew almost deafening. As she approached a faint erythematic beeping could be heard. She listened intensely and realized it did not match any of the alarms or timers in her house. What could be making that sound and where was it coming from? She crept closer to get the answers.

All of a sudden a displeasing smell engulfed her nose. It was a mixture of disinfectant, plastic tubing and one more thing she could not describe, but taste. When she got close enough to reach the knob she paused for a moment. Did she really want to know what was behind the door with that nasty smell? She glanced around hoping there was another way out. When she saw none she turned back and let out a small quiet sigh. Cautiously she raised her hand and as she grabbed the knob she felt a stabbing pain on the back of her hand. Before she had time to react she saw a plastic tube appear and grow longer from where the pain originated. Frantically she tried to yank it out, but then she started to gasp.

With both hands Cassandra grabbed at her throat. As she struggled for each breath her body finally collapsed. Not understanding what was going on she tried to get back up but her body wouldn’t move. It seemed the only part of her that still worked was her eyes, but even those had their limits. Able to see what was happening to her she watched as a larger tube appeared and hovered over her face. She tried to close her eyes as it drew in closer, but unfortunately they acted as if they were glued in place.

As she watched the tube descend she could feel a hand press on the sides of her mouth and knew it wasn’t her own. Unable to stop what was happening, her mouth opened and the pressure on her tongue allowed the large thick tube to slide down her airway. She felt it scratch the sides of her throat as it slid down then stopped briefly. After it was re-angled it continued to be pushed downward. Once it finally stopped she heard the sounds of air pumping and soon she was able to breathe again. Relief swept over her followed by a nasty taste of plastic and garlic, and before she knew it her eyes finally closed.

After awhile Cassandra felt her body being lifted then placed upon something soft. The only explanation she could think of for the comfort she felt was she was home. When she tried to open her eyes they would not budge. She then tried to open her mouth to talk. However, the obstruction in her airway still remained. All she had left to find out where she was were her ears. She listened carefully to her surroundings and from the sounds of compressed air, bleeping, and the intercom she figured she must be in a hospital. But what happened that led her here? She allowed the sounds to fade into the background as she drifted back into the darkness.