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He crawled onto the bed, his eyes locked with mine in a passionate standoff. I wanted desperately to surrender to his optimism, to enjoy the moments of happiness we could steal away in the concrete jungle around us. His lips locked with mine, and I felt all my sorrows melt away. All my hesitations and all my frustration melted into a pool beneath the bed we lay on. He stripped me of my clothes and kissed the crevices of my body. His teeth carried my panties down my legs before casting them aside, his lips then falling to my ankle. He kissed the bone, licking his tongue slowly up my calf. I shuddered underneath his heat. His cock swelled and leaked for me as his lips traveled to my thigh.
My pussy dripped for him as he slipped my legs over his shoulders.
My hands fisted his hair, and I lost myself in him. I lost myself in the warmth of his tongue and the way he flicked it with every ounce of strength he had. I rolled against him, feeling the stubble of his skin that had overgrown during our time on the farm.
A beard looked marvelous on his chiseled jawline.
I panted as my chest bounced. Fire swirled in my gut. He inched one finger within my body, and then two. He filled me up with his digits and crooked his fingers, beckoning my body to come to him, to release with him, to give over to the passion seeping into the marrow of my bones.
“Ray. Ray. Ray. Yes. Don’t stop. So close. Ray. Yes. Raymond!”
My back arched and my pussy fluttered. My body clamped down around his fingers as juices dripped from my pulsing entrance. My eyes rolled back as he offered his tongue to my clit, allowing me to buck and grind against it. I pulled him deeper between my legs. I used his tongue, over and over, meeting my end so many times I couldn’t catch my breath. His fingers stroked places within me his cock could never brush. Places that overwhelmed my senses and muted the sounds around me as I chased my highs.
“Again. Again. It’s happening. Ray. Again. Yes. Harder. Ray. Harder, please!”
“Fucking hell, Violet. Come for me again.”
My back bowed so deeply I thought it would snap. Like an over tuned violin crying out for mercy, I wailed into the room. The darkness swallowed my sounds as Ray removed his fingers slowly, replacing it with his mouth. He drank from my fountain as my legs clamped around him. His stubble tickled my thighs as my entire body went rigid. I’d lost count of the moments of pleasure. I’d lost count of the orgasm his tongue crashed through my body.
His hands turned me over as I gasped into the mattress, catching my breath as he raised my hips.
He slid into me from behind without a second thought. No mercy. No warning. No sounds. He groaned as he bottomed out against my ass, then reached for my hair and wrapped his hand within it. He pulled my face from the mattress just enough to hear me beg, just enough to hear me pant for more as his cock filled me to the brim.
“More, Ray. I need more of you. Please.”
“I’ll never deny you, Violet. Never, in my life.”
He pounded against me, my juices splattering all over his skin. His balls smacked against my sensitive clit, shaking me as I tried to keep myself up for him. My knees pressed into the bed. My arms spread out to the sides. My tits dangled against the bedspread, swaying with every pound of his hips against mine. I heard him grunting and growling, whispering out my name like the most reverent prayer that could have ever fallen from his lips.
“Violet. Oh, Violet. Yes. I love you. How I love you.”
All weekend, it was like that. Getting to know each other’s bodies again. Memorizing what the other loved. He took me against the wall and pinned me to the floor. He pressed me against the shower wall and spread my legs while we sat on the couch watching television. He teased me until I sweat before throwing me over edges that left me unable to communicate.
And it always ended with him collapsing on top of me, his arousal drenching my walls.
We settled into a routine, one I wasn’t willing to give up again. Ray would leave early enough to walk back to his apartment, where he’d get ready for work. Then, after a day’s worth of radio silence while he was at his company, he’d go over to his place and get changed before coming back over.
It was a routine that worked for us. A routine we slipped into and relished together. Despite our sneaking around, we enjoyed it because we weren’t alone in it. I still got to fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, and I still got to wake up to his scent beneath my nostrils every morning. We showered together and ate together. On the very early mornings, I’d wake up to a mug of coffee on my bedside table, ready to be heated up for me to enjoy.
Just so Ray could show that I was on his mind.
Unless someone was following him around, no one would know of what we were doing. I didn’t tell Lydia, and I even went so far as to tell her things were picking up in Montana and that I couldn’t talk much. I hated lying to my best friend, but I didn’t want to drag her into any of this. I trusted Ray enough to know he was working on things, and I didn’t want to blow it out of the water by giving in to my need to share my life with Lydia.
Though I really wanted to tell her what was going on.
I’d kiss Ray good morning and kiss him good night. I’d have dinner waiting for him, and he’d have coffee waiting for me. It felt good, living with him, moving around him and fusing my life together with him. The glow of our surroundings was grand, and being able to throw open the closet doors and see his clothes made me smile.
My toothbrush next to his.
My shampoo and conditioner next to his.
My towel next to his.
But the glow started to fade away, and I questioned whether or not we could really make things work.
I wasn’t working. I didn’t have a job or anything to take up my time. I spent most of my days in the apartment, watching television and coming up with intricate dinners I could try because I didn’t have anything else I could do. If I went out into the world, I chanced someone seeing I was back in town, Lydia included. Which wouldn’t go down well, if I ran into her randomly at a coffee shop or at the grocery store. I’d gotten into the habit of using this one place that delivered groceries to apartment complexes, though the damn place was way too expensive.
“Just don’t have them delivered while I’m there,” Ray said.
It was statements like those that chipped away at the glow a little at a time.
It really bothered me that I had nothing to do to pass my time. Sure, Ray was happy to take care of me. He had usurped all of my bills. My phone. My car insurance. He even helped me pick out a health insurance plan he immediately put on his card to pay for. And while I was thankful for it, I didn’t enjoy feeling like a kept woman. I was more than this. More than what I had been reduced to in order to sift through the jumble of shit that had become our lives.
For once, I was bored.
I sighed as I gazed out into Manhattan. The apartment didn’t even have a balcony I could enjoy. So, there was no fresh air unless I wanted to get dressed and go downstairs to the lobby. I folded my arms over my chest and stared out the window of our bedroom, my head cocked to the side. Manhattan was alive and well, buzzing with excitement and people going to and from their lives. People with purpose, with lives they could broadcast. People who could roam freely without being judged or ridiculed or slandered.
I knew keeping a low profile meant staying under Vivien’s radar. But I didn’t realize how much it would encroach on my life here.
It was like I didn’t even exist.
And I guess, in a way, that was the point. Ray and I were trying to ride this out until Vivien’s anger dissipated. Either that, or until she forgot I existed in the first place. I hated sitting around that apartment, though. Waiting for Ray to get home. Waiting for him to throw me a bone. Waiting for him to walk through the doors so I’d have someone to talk to and spend my time with. I felt trapped in the concrete jungle of the place I had rightfully fled to begin with.
How had Ray talked me back into this again?
The days blurred into moments I couldn’t pick apart. I was back to sleeping around the clock because I didn’t have anything else better to do. It was either that or rot my brain with television. Even the most intricate of meals only took up three hours of my day. There were a lot more than three hours in a day to fill, and the four-thousand-square-foot apartment felt smaller and smaller with every passing day.
“You can do this, Vee,” I said to myself.
I gazed at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, pale and sunken in.
“This is for you and Ray. For your future. For the long haul,” I said.
I sighed heavily, watching the cloud settle over my face.
I tried putting on a brave face every morning. I watched motivational videos on my phone on YouTube. I did anything I could to keep my head above water, to keep buoyant so Ray and I could keep fighting this good fight. I knew I could survive anything if it meant I got to be with him in the end. I knew I could weather any Hell on Earth someone tossed my way if it meant living the rest of my days freely and unashamed with Raymond Rose.
I just didn’t know how long it would take.
I wished I knew how long this would take.
