This was crazy. Crazy good, but still crazy. If this wasn’t what she wanted, and she was so concerned that she shouldn’t be doing it, then why was she still doing it? Linc had ended up staying the entire night, not that they’d gotten much sleep, but he’d set the alarm to leave early so he’d get home before he had to start work. There was a moment just after he’d turned the alarm off, as they lay snuggled together, that Cash had felt utter contentment. Linc hadn’t said anything, but she’d known he was awake, she could feel his steady breathing against her back. Was he enjoying the warm cosy feeling too, or was he frantically trying to figure out how to chew his arm off so as not to wake her up and have to talk to her? She knew that was unfair—Linc wouldn’t have stayed all night if he’d wanted to avoid the awkward morning chitchat after a casual fling. When his alarm had gone off, he’d kissed her temple before sliding from the bed, and a few moments later she’d heard the front door softly close behind him.
She may have been guilty of making bad decisions in her past, but she’d never stayed in a relationship if she hadn’t wanted to be there. So why was this so different? Maybe it’s not as wrong as you’re making out. The little voice of reason wasn’t totally lost on her. It had occurred to her, briefly. Maybe Linc wasn’t as bad as she’d first thought, but he was still one of those guys who didn’t seem likely to settle down in a cute little country cottage with a garden and a wife. Cash stopped folding the towels and frowned. Was that even what she wanted? When had she decided she wanted the exact same life Savannah had? Sure, she loved it out here, but when had the white picket fence and guy in an Akubra entered the picture?
Linc was hardly the domesticated type. He might not be in the military anymore, called away at the drop of a hat and gone for months on end, but he did have a business that would regularly take him out of the country and potentially put him in dangerous situations. At best, their relationship would be mostly long distance, with brief catch-ups when his schedule allowed. Even if he did stay exclusive to her and wanted a relationship, it was hardly a settled kind of relationship. Was that what she wanted?
Was it really worth continuing? It wasn’t a one-night stand, but only barely. There wasn’t likely any future in it. And yet when she was around him all her commonsense and logic flew out the window. When she was with him, she didn’t care about how pointless it was—and that scared her. He was becoming a habit she didn’t want to give up.
Her phone dinged a few minutes later and she gave a weary chuckle when she saw it was from Linc.
You. Me. Tonight. You supply the coffee. I’ll bring the Tim Tams.
So all you want is a coffee date? she typed back.
Coffee and Tim Tams. No funny business. I hope you’re not thinking of taking advantage of me?
Cash rolled her eyes at that but smiled. Wouldn’t dream of it. See you tonight.
Yep, way to put a stop to it. After tonight. Definitely.
The nights fell into a pretty regular pattern. Linc came over after work, occasionally later at night after a family meal, and stayed until his alarm clock went off, ready to head home and work with his father and brother. After the first couple of mornings, Cash broached the subject of his family, wondering if they’d asked him where he was all night.
‘I don’t think they know I’ve been out all night,’ he said, easing down on the lounge next to her with his glass of bourbon, wearing only a pair of jeans he’d pulled on after they’d gotten out of bed to have a nightcap. ‘They think I’ve been sleeping over at Griff’s place. He reckons the paint fumes are worth the peace and quiet until the guests start arriving.’
‘Surely they have to suspect? What do you tell them when you leave after dinner?’
‘That I’m going out.’
‘And they don’t ask where you’re going?’
‘I’m not seventeen, Cash,’ he grinned at her before taking a sip of his drink.
‘But surely your parents want to spend time with you?’ ‘It’s the middle of harvest, with Christmas just around the corner, and a week after that is my celebrity sister’s wedding, being held at Stringybark, attended by other celebrities … My mother has a few more pressing matters to worry about than spending time with me and asking where I’ve been.’
‘She loves having you home.’
‘At any other time of the year, I wouldn’t be able to get away for a single minute by myself, but this year it’s crazytown at home and I’m doing my best to keep my head down.’
‘Has Griff said anything about you disappearing?’
‘Nope. He’s been too busy being a damn martyr to notice anything else.’
It worried her that for such a close family, Griff and Linc clearly had some issues. ‘What’s going on with you two? Is it because of me? You haven’t told him about … this, have you?’
‘This?’ he lifted an eyebrow.
‘Us,’ she amended almost grudgingly. She wasn’t entirely sure what this thing they had going was supposed to be.
‘So there is an “us”, then?’
The slight self-satisfaction to his tone only caused her frown to deepen.
‘You’re trying to deflect my question.’
‘The way you’re trying to deflect mine?’ he shot back.
‘Fine, don’t answer. I just want to make sure I’m not causing any problems between you and your brother.’
She heard Linc let out a long breath beside her. ‘You’re not the reason Griff and I have issues. I’m not sure why we always manage to rub each other the wrong way. I come home and vow we’re gonna put everything behind us, but every time it just kinda gravitates back to us pissing each other off.’
‘Something has to spark it off.’
‘It’s like he resents me. It wasn’t always like this. We were fairly close after I left home and joined the army. I think it was once I got into Special Forces and wasn’t getting home as much that we kind of drifted apart. I don’t know what’s going on with him—he’s always loved farming, it was all he ever wanted to do, but lately it’s like he’s blaming me for the fact he’s never really left here, other than his few years away at uni. It bugs the hell out of him that I come home and ‘play farmer’, as he calls it, then piss off again and go back to my life.’
‘You’d think he’d like having an extra set of hands around the place,’ Cash agreed.
‘Apparently not. If I came home and did nothing, he’d bitch about that, and when I do help, that only annoys him more. So basically, I can’t win either way.’
‘So maybe it hasn’t got anything to do with you. Maybe it’s just something he’s got an issue with and you’re the one he takes it out on.’
‘I never told him to stay here and be a bloody farmer,’ Linc grumbled.
‘No, but it could be that he’s just reached a point in his life where he’s realising that he’s not where he wants to be.’ ‘Well, I’m done walking on eggshells around him. He needs to get the hell over it.’
Somehow Cash didn’t think it was going to be as easy as that. Until Griff dealt with whatever his issue was, she doubted things would get any easier between the two men. Now was probably not the best time to be dredging up old hurts with Christmas and then a massive family wedding about to take place, but after all that was over … She pulled herself up. This wasn’t her problem. After New Year, she wouldn’t be here. She was quite sure the Callahans could sort out their family dramas on their own. So long as she wasn’t part of the problem. ‘I don’t think it would help matters if Griff found out about you and I.’
She felt him turn his head and shift his body to look at her but didn’t lift her gaze immediately.
‘Let him get pissed off, I don’t care.’
‘You should care. I don’t want to make things worse for either of you.’
‘Look, I’m not gonna rub it in his face, but if he finds out, I’m not going to lie about it. It’s none of his business.’
She wished that were true, but the fact was, if Griff found out about this, it was only going to cause bigger problems in an already volatile relationship. She didn’t need that kind of guilt hanging over her head. Maybe she’d been listening to Savannah too long about bad karma. ‘I don’t want you to lie to anyone, but I think it’s better that he doesn’t find out.’
‘I really don’t want to talk about my brother while I’m sitting next to a gorgeous naked woman,’ he said, reaching across her to slide her on top of him with unexpected skill and speed.
‘I’m not naked, and I’m serious, Linc,’ she said, trying to keep her voice firm despite the heady sensations swirling through her as his hands roamed lightly up her thighs.
‘There’s the problem then. You need to get naked and stop talking, Cash,’ he mimicked her serious tone before lifting his head to kiss her.
The next day Linc opened the door to the spa and found Cash talking on the phone at the front counter. She looked up and smiled when she saw him and mouthed that she would only be a minute. Inwardly he cursed himself when his stomach flip-flopped as though he was a love-struck teenager.
‘I know for a fact you’re not booked in today for a massage, so what are you doing here, Lincoln Callahan?’ she asked in that sexy damn voice he thought about all day long.
‘I’m playing delivery boy,’ he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her and gave a disappointed sigh when she informed him she had a client due any minute. ‘Fine. Your loss. Pam gave me this to give to you. She said she forgot to tell you when you were in yesterday.’
Linc handed the parcel to Cash and saw her frown slightly as she turned it over, seemingly searching for a return address before cautiously opening it.
He watched as she ripped the outer paper off to reveal a cardboard gift box and carefully removed its lid. Inside was a wad of fifty-dollar notes, secured with rubber bands and stacked neatly. He caught only a brief glance, and he had no idea how much money was in there, but Cash quickly slammed the lid back on the box and placed it under the counter.
‘Everything okay?’ he asked, watching her stilted movements.
‘Yeah, all good. I’ll check it out later,’ she smiled, before coming out from behind the counter to slide into his arms and kiss him. ‘How’s the harvest going?’
He knew she was trying to distract him, and damned if it wasn’t working: he could hardly recall his own name when she kissed him like that. ‘Almost done, thank God,’ he said. Now he remembered why he’d never gone into farming. The work was bloody relentless. The sound of a car engine pulling up outside made him groan.
‘I’ll make it up to you tonight,’ she promised.
‘I’ll be looking forward to it,’ he told her, kissing her one last time before reluctantly allowing her to slip from his embrace to prepare for her client.
It wasn’t until he was up inside the cabin of the harvester, sitting in for his old man for a while, that his thoughts drifted to the mysterious package. Who would have sent Cash a shitload of money? What was it for? And more importantly, why had he detected a brief moment of panic before she’d hidden it?
Cash tried not to think about the box out under the front counter. Damn it, just when she thought she had her life on track, he always managed to find her. Why the hell wouldn’t the man just take no for an answer?
Wes Sullivan wasn’t a man people refused. No one, that was, except his daughter. After Johnny’s death, Cash cut any ties with her father that still remained, but even after he’d been put in prison, he continued to have her tracked down so he could send her money. The first few times it happened, she’d bundled it up and sent it back to her father’s trusted club treasurer with a note telling him she didn’t want any of her father’s money or anything more to do with him. The next year she had a package delivered to her front door with no postmark and the club had moved underground to avoid being raided by the police. With nowhere to return it to, Cash had done the next best thing and donated it to charity. It had been a while since she’d received a delivery and she had hoped her father had given up on her. Today’s package only proved that Wes Sullivan never gave up and that he could find her whenever he wanted to—even from behind bars.
She knew he was only trying in his misguided way to be a good father. He was providing for her by sending her his cut of the club’s profits from the illegal enterprises they had scattered all around the country. The fact that she’d left him and his life behind when she was seventeen didn’t deter him. She’d despised the violence of his world—the world that had killed her mother, after she’d given up even trying to be a mother and wife, and then her brother. She was so tired of the messed-up childhood she’d endured. She’d wanted so much more for Johnny, but her father had never known any other kind of life. She knew cutting him from her life after Johnny’s death had hurt him, and that in his own warped way he’d really tried his best to be a father to her, but it wasn’t enough. She refused to end up like her mother.
Opening that box earlier had made her feel dirty. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was the universe’s way of reminding her where she’d come from and that all the big plans she had to mould herself into something better were just a waste of time. Who was she to think she could possibly ever fit into the Callahan’s world when she’d grown up the way she had?
Her heart was heavy for the remainder of the day, and for the first time, Cash texted Linc to call off their plans for the evening. She couldn’t face him. She couldn’t find the energy to pretend she was fine when all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.
Linc frowned at his phone as he pulled it out of his pocket. She was cancelling on him? He had a strange feeling that it was connected to that damn box he’d delivered this morning. What had she gotten herself into? A million things raced through his mind—none of them very comforting. Could she be caught up in dealing drugs? He immediately dismissed it. No, not Cash. That couldn’t be it, but he couldn’t shake the gut instinct that something was not right.
He lay awake late into the night. More than anything he wanted to go to Cash and find out what the hell was going on, but something held him back. What if she was caught up in something bad? Were they at a point in whatever this thing was where he had a right to know what was going on? What was he to her? A boyfriend? A friend with benefits? Did that give him any say in how much he should know about her past? All he did know was that for the first night in weeks he was sleeping alone, and he missed having that warm body curved around his more than he liked to admit.