As Crystal walked in to the palace her stomach threatened to revolt. She should've tried harder to cancel the meeting with Valentin.
When she'd texted him first thing that morning saying that something had come up, he'd responded with, I need to see you.
And when she'd still been chewing on how to respond to that, still telling her leaping heart to settle down, that he didn't mean it like that, he'd texted again. Your presence is required at the agreed upon time.
How was it possible that his pompous tone could come through in a text message? She didn't know, but hearing it had obliterated all of her softer feelings, clouded them with anger at his high-handedness.
She was clinging to that anger now, purely as a matter of survival. Following Conrad through the winding passageways meant she was getting closer and closer to the moment when Valentin would break her heart.
And then the assistant was knocking softly on a door—not Valentin's suite this time—and opening it to usher her inside.
It was a lovely, well-appointed parlor in creams and blush tones.
The romantic atmosphere of the room only served to heighten her discomfort. And then there was Valentin, rising from where he leaned against the arm of a massive brocade sofa.
He wore dark slacks and a white shirt that had been left open at the collar, as if he'd discarded his tie. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing the corded muscles of his forearms.
It was more casual than she'd seen him dressed anytime other than that morning in her apartment.
She didn't dare think about that morning right now.
"You came." He sounded... relieved? He stepped toward her, because she hadn't moved once Conrad had practically pushed her in the doorway and closed the door behind her.
"I almost didn't. I don't like being ordered around."
One corner of his mouth twitched. Not really a smile, but a hint of one.
He took another step toward her. "I've missed you these past few days."
That was... not what she expected him to say. He was supposed to tell her he'd fallen for Pansy. She was supposed to congratulate him.
But his statement had put them off the script, and she didn't know what to say in response.
There was no way she was admitting to the insane jealousy she'd experienced last night.
"The date last night went well, didn't it?" she asked stiffly.
He waved her question away. "It was fine."
Fine. It had looked more than fine in the snatches she'd seen.
"So you'll be seeing her again?" she confirmed. She needed to get out of there.
"No."
He'd come a step closer somehow and now stood at the boundary of her personal space. He filled up her vision, but she tried to look beyond him as her emotions surged in crazy directions.
She cleared her throat. "Do you want me to find someone else for the fourth date?"
The little girl inside her, the one who'd once dreamed of being a princess, was screaming no! even as she fought for composure. She wasn't sure she could do it, not with the feelings she harbored for Valentin. The crush that had exploded out of proportion like a stalk grown from magic beans.
Her emotions were totally out of bounds.
And then he took one more step. Into her space. Got so terribly and wonderfully close that she could smell his spicy shampoo, could see the shadow of scruff at his jaw that must have meant he hadn't shaved that morning.
He put his hands on her waist, and she froze.
"I want the fourth date, and all the dates after that, to be with you."
She'd dreamed of him saying something that crazy.
But she'd never been able to finish those daydreams. Because she was just Crystal. She'd never been able to picture the reality of how she might fit into his life.
And now that he was standing close, touching her, saying romantic words, fear rose up to choke her. She didn't fit in his life.
He squeezed her waist lightly. "Crystal. Tell me I'm not alone in my feelings."
It was the vulnerability behind his gruff demand that made her respond. She nodded. Then shook her head. She couldn't think.
And then he made it even more impossible when he leaned forward and bent his head.
How could she resist him?
How could she not rise up on her toes and meet his kiss?
She wanted his kiss, needed it.
Her hands came to his shoulders. To steady herself, that was all. But then she was wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her in closer. Her fingers weaved into the soft hair at his nape.
He groaned against her mouth, his kiss becoming deeper, more passionate. She met each one of his kisses fiercely. Because this wasn't real.
She was dreaming. That was the only explanation for what was happening. She'd fallen asleep behind the wheel and any second she was going to crash back into reality.
Valentin broke the kiss but didn't let her go as he kissed her cheek, her jaw, her temple. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling against hers.
This was crazy. This was—
And then reality sent her crashing back to earth.
"Val—"
The door opened.
Crystal hadn't come very far into the room, and she felt the rush of air around her.
More than that, she felt the change in Valentin. Beneath her hands, the muscles in his neck went tight.
The interruption was almost like the car crash she’d anticipated. The bone-jarring thud of running into something stationary, a hit that rattled her bones.
Max stood in the doorway wearing a look of utter surprise.
She was shaking as she tried to extricate herself from Valentin's embrace. It wasn’t hard when he set her away.
What was Max doing here? She didn't think he'd been allowed in the palace since he'd broken Valentin's heart.
"I'll go," she said, but Valentin had her hand in a vice grip.
"Stay, please."
She was unmoored, out to sea without a life raft. So she let herself be carried further into the room, let Valentin pull her to the sofa, then urge her down next to him. They were sitting so close that their thighs were pressed together.
Max joined them, his gaze sharp and curious and at the same time, repentant.
What was going on?
Valentin's heart was racing. His emotions were a tangled mess. And he couldn't seem to let go of Crystal's hand as he stared at his brother across the low table.
He'd meant to talk to Crystal. Tell her everything that was in his heart and ask her not to abandon him.
But he'd kissed her instead. Because that was easier than explaining the emotions shredding him from the inside.
And now he had to deal with Max. His brother had always been perpetually late. Of course today would be the day he chose to be early. Valentin had wanted things settled with Crystal before he’d had to face his brother. She was by his side, letting him cling to her like a little kid, but nothing was resolved between them.
Max looked different. Fatigue lined his eyes, and there was a softness there that Valentin didn't recognize. Had it been there on the street last week and he'd been too angry and too ill to see it?
And then there was the fact that as Max settled in the chair across from them, he was glancing between Valentin and Crystal with undisguised curiosity. Everything between them was still new, and a fierce protective urge rose up in him. He didn't even want his brother to see the tenuous threads holding them together.
"Thanks for meeting with me," Max said when it was clear Valentin had nothing to say. He shifted in his seat, looking more uncomfortable than Valentin had ever seen him. "I… I'm sorry."
Max had said it on the street. And now for the second time. Before this, he couldn't remember ever hearing his brother say the words.
And he seemed sincere, which was even more shocking.
"I know I can't repair our relationship. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but..." Max sighed. "I have to try. Clara deserves to know her family."
Valentin bristled. But Crystal squeezed his hand, a momentary distraction.
Max's gaze met his, but his eyes quickly darted away. "She even deserves to know her uncle, a much better man than her father."
All the breath caught in his chest. Valentin didn't know what to say, and when another of Max's glances caught what must have been the stunned expression on Valentin’s face, Max laughed bitterly.
"You never knew, did you?" Max ran a hand through his hair. "I was always jealous of you. From the moment I started toddling around after you."
"You called me dull. Said I was a slave—"
"—to your duty. I remember." Max winced. "You made it seem so easy. You genuinely wanted your destiny. You and Mother were close because of it. And in Father's eyes, you could do no wrong. I wanted to be you."
Valentin shook his head. No. That was not how he remembered it.
"Is that why—?" He choked on the words.
"Is that why I romanced Annika?" Max looked down at the floor. Was this the true test, then? If he was really repentant, Valentin would find out now.
And for a long moment, it seemed his brother wouldn't answer.
Crystal nudged his knee with hers. "Are you sure you want to know?" she asked softly.
Did he want to know?
He glanced at the woman beside him, met her gaze squarely. He was a little surprised she hadn't run from the room. This wasn't her battle. Yet she'd stayed.
He wasn't just falling for her. He'd fallen. He’d dived off the deep end. He was in love with her.
Knowing why Annika had betrayed him didn't matter. He knew, deep in his heart, that Crystal would never do such a thing.
But maybe knowing what had been the root of Max's actions would help as he tried to navigate the difficult relationship with his brother.
"Tell me," he said, looking back to Max.
Max hadn't missed the interplay between them. Thankfully, he didn't comment on it. "At first, it was pure jealousy. I thought to flirt with her and make your relationship more difficult. I didn't even know if it was possible. But the more stolen moments I spent with her..." He exhaled softly, and there were real tears standing in his eyes. "I fell in love with her. I knew it was wrong. I should've come to you. But things spiraled out of control, and then it was too late. And I let my pride and arrogance and jealousy ruin what relationship we had left."
Valentin doubted he would've understood even if Max had tried to confess to him. He had his own pride, and it would've been deeply wounded no matter what.
They sat there, Max beseeching him in silent entreaty while Valentin tried to come to terms with it all.
Would he have really been happy with Annika? He would never know. But he did know that if he'd still been with Annika, he never would've met Crystal. Everything that had happened had brought him to this moment.
Max stood with a frustrated exhale. "I won't ask for your forgiveness—"
"Well, that's just stupid," Crystal burst out.
She gasped softly and let go of Valentin to press her fingers against her lips. She looked chagrined, a faint blush staining her cheeks.
Max had stilled, a picture of wary curiosity.
"Go ahead," Valentin said. "Put us in our places."
She shook her head, still pressing her hand against her mouth. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" she mumbled behind her fingers.
Max laughed. Actually laughed, a rusty chuckle. "I like her," he said to Valentin. Then, "Please, go on."
Crystal's blush was rosier now, filling her whole face, but she dropped her hand. "If its forgiveness you want, why wouldn't you ask for it?" she said. "Pride? Or stubbornness?" She looked between them. "It seems like you've both got more than enough of both."
Valentin smiled grimly. She was not wrong.
She was focused on Max. "Maybe you'll be denied what you want. Or maybe the answer will be ‘not yet.’ But if you don't ask, you're only punishing yourself."
Max looked from Crystal to Valentin. All signs of humor had vanished from his expression. If anything, he looked as grim as Valentin felt. And Valentin could see the moment when he braced himself, a minute straightening of his shoulders.
"Val. I've wronged you, and I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"
Valentin stood.
And Max straightened his shoulders again, as if he was bracing for a punch.
There were so many things he could hold against his brother, so many reason to hang onto his anger, his resentment, his hate. But none of those things had done Valentin a bit of good. They’d only made him angry and bitter.
Max’s betrayal had wounded him. Withholding forgiveness would only would him more. He glanced at Crystal, who seemed to be holding her breath beside him. Bitterness would add jagged edges all of his relationships.
And he wanted nothing but softness between himself and Crystal.
And deep in his heart, he wanted Max back. "I forgive you. Brother."
Max exhaled a long breath.
Valentin stuck out his hand. Maybe a handshake was too impersonal, but he couldn't offer a hug. Not yet. But maybe one day.
Max took it, his grip sure and steady. He didn't try to squeeze or play any one-upmanship games. He met Valentin's stare with a level gaze of his own. "Thank you."
And if Max’s eyes were a little wet, Valentin's were slightly misty too, so he mustn't have seen it.
Crystal watched from her perch on the couch as Max took his leave. She felt a hundred pounds lighter on Valentin's behalf that he'd been able to forgive his brother. There would still be hurdles in their relationship. Some wounds could be forgiven but not forgotten. But today they'd forged a new start.
When Valentin turned to face her, she stood. She should've already taken her leave.
Because as she'd been sitting beside Valentin, she'd realized the reason he'd kissed her, had clung to her hand when she'd tried to excuse herself.
And she felt like she was bleeding all over the carpet. All her hopes, dashed to pieces along with her heart.
She couldn't bear to look at him, so she kept her gaze safely on the wall over his shoulder as she tried to manufacture a smile.
"I should get going."
He must've been lost in thoughts of his brother, because now she felt the sharpness of his gaze as it fixed on her. "We have things to talk about."
Her smile slipped a little. "I think we're done talking."
She stood and tried to walk past him, but she didn't make it to the door before he touched her arm.
She whirled, afraid that if she let him touch her she'd come undone. But that was a mistake, because now she was facing him.
"I want to see you again," he said. "Tonight. Or tomorrow night, if you already have plans. Every night." His charming smile just made her angrier. She wasn't a servant to be pushed around at his whims.
"You can stop pretending now."
His smile faltered, quickly replaced by a frown.
His voice was carefully even when he spoke. "What are you talking about?"
"I get it." She hated that her voice shook. "Max saw us together outside the school. And today you wanted him to see you'd moved on. You wanted him to think we were together. To prove his betrayal hadn’t hurt that much."
"It wasn't like that."
"No? You didn't let him think we were a couple?"
"So what if I did? I'd like to see where things go between us."
"I'm not some pawn on your chess board," she said. This time the shake in her voice was audible. She swallowed hard. She didn't want him to see how badly he'd hurt her. "You might have plenty of women happy to be a part of your power plays, but I'm not one of them."
She spun toward the door again, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm, turned her to face him again. "Hang on a minute."
A muscle was jumping in his cheek. He was really angry, though he was trying to control it. "Why exactly do you think I kissed you?"
"So I would look at you adoringly while you met with your brother."
"Do you adore me?"
Behind the frustration in his gaze, there was something else. Something that looked like vulnerability.
She couldn't answer him. Wouldn't. He was asking too much.
His chest rose and fell on a breath. "Is that really what you think of me? That I'm so mercenary I would kiss you, play with your emotions, to further my own ends?"
No. She didn't really think that of him. She buried her face in her hands. "I don't know."
Since she'd walked into the castle this morning, she'd been on an emotional roller coaster. Believing Valentin was falling for Pansy. Wanting him for her own. The elation of having him. And then realizing that he was using her to strengthen himself against Max.
What was real?
He touched her wrists. Gently dislodged her hands from her face. As she let her hands drop, his arms fell to his sides.
Tears were close to the surface. She could see that he was holding back his emotion as well. The stiffness of his stance, the careful blank expression on his face.
"Let me be clear," he said. "I am falling in love with you. That's the reason I kissed you. And I wanted you by my side during a difficult conversation with my brother because you bring me peace. Not because you're available or I want to show him up. Because I need you near me."
It was perfectly romantic and exactly the right thing to say.
And entirely too much. Her fragile emotions couldn't handle a declaration like that, not after everything else.
"Valentin, I can't do this right now. I'm sorry."
This time when she ran for the door, he didn't stop her.