Eva
I watched through the window, waiting, hoping to catch Hannah before she got inside. I saw them walk up the driveway together and sighed. Of course, the two of them coming back together. I hadn’t counted on that. That complicated things, of course. How could I win in this situation? Both grandchildren mad at me, and soon, if I didn’t choose my words carefully, both daughters, too.
Oh well. You don’t become a mother to make friends, do you?
Above me, I heard Morgan stomping around in her room. Cleaning it up, allegedly. Throwing clothes into the hamper, toys into her baskets and cubbies. Thud, thud, thud. All the money they’d spent on this house, and how the sounds still carried! No soundproofing! I’d sent her there when she’d tried to run down the driveway toward Miles. Grabbed her little arm when she didn’t pay heed. And the look on her face! The shock of betrayal! Fun Grandma turned into stern Grandma! But I knew I was throwing right thing after wrong.
I should have grabbed Miles’s arm, too. Should have yanked him away, let the animal fall, endured the screams from both of them. Was that what Hannah would have done? I don’t know. It certainly was what Hillary would have done. No nonsense, fast-acting Hillary. But Hannah would have wanted the story, the reasons. Would she have stayed down there, waited with him, reassured him somehow even though there was another child alone up the hill? Would she have worried, as I did for a moment, what exactly he planned to do with that animal if I left him alone?
I’d left him there a few minutes to make up his own mind. Then, when he hadn’t returned, I’d gone halfway down. I told him I’d called animal control and they were on their way.
“No, Grandma! They’ll kill her!”
“Miles, they are the experts. You are not. If she can be saved, they’ll save her.”
That had always worked with my girls. Research, expertise. It’s not up to us. Let’s turn to the authorities. But they weren’t rebellious. Wise and crafty, but not rebels. Miles was another story altogether.
“No!”
“Miles,” I said, “you have to leave it in case you are seen…tampering with an animal. They may think you’ve hurt it! What would happen then? Do you want to go to prison? Now get up here right now!”
Oh, later I would beat myself up about those words, my haste, my choices. The empty threats turned full. But it seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. Not prescient. Not prescient at all.
And so he started his slow walk up that hill of grass. So artificially green, still, devoid of clippings, mulch, or errant leaves thanks to the trucks that arrived every other day and tended it.
I sent him into the living room, the boring, dull living room, with no television, no toys or games. Just a silver bowl and a book of Avedon photographs. Not even a candy dish. Not even a magazine he could thumb through.
Unlike Morgan, he was silent. Sat still and fumed.
I didn’t tell him I’d called his mother. I didn’t really want that on me as well.
I stood in the foyer, planning my careful speech as the girls walked in.
And then I began.
I’m so sorry, but the kids weren’t listening.
The police cars were whizzing down the street, and there was an injured f—
But there was no need to continue or explain. The look on Hannah’s face, eyes widening, cautioning me as clear as a traffic signal, stopped me cold the moment she heard the word fawn coming out of my mouth.