Ruby stripped out of her suit and threw it on the bed. There was no soft music or candlelight for the meeting she planned with Downes. She wondered if he had really wanted to come at all. He had looked so tired at work. A good night’s sleep would be more beneficial than a night of rampant sex. She gave her leggings a quick shake before pulling them on. There was no need to dress up for what she had planned, and Ruby was pretty sure he would not want to stay when he discovered just how far she was entrenched with the Crosby family.
The deceit had wrapped itself around her like a cocoon, and the longer it went on, the stronger the lies became. Why was she doing a U-turn and telling him anyway? To ease her guilt? To allow him to take on the burden and decide what to do with her? Was she being selfish? She could peel off her clothes right now and forget about her full confession. Her encounter with Worrow was still playing on her mind and she needed someone in her corner in case the shit hit the fan. The doorbell emitted a weak whine. The batteries were going again. It was not as if she had many visitors. Pulling on her sweatshirt, her heart began to pound as she pulled back the latch on the door.
‘Am I early?’ Downes said, looking crestfallen. For as long as they’d had their arrangement, she had always answered the door in a state of undress. It separated work Ruby from sexy Ruby, but tonight the lines were blurred. The look on her face told him that sex was not on the agenda.
‘I’m sorry to lure you here under false pretences, but I really need to talk and I didn’t want an audience.’
Downes took a seat, his long legs stretched out in front of him. Tugging off his tie, he rolled it up and pushed it into his jacket pocket. ‘I knew you were in trouble.’
Ruby handed him a glass of rum and coke. Something to take the edge from what she was about to say.
‘You could say that. But first I need to ask you a question. Can I trust you? No bullshit; give it to me straight.’
Downes tilted his head as he offered a bemused smile. ‘Of course. And while we’re here I’m just your friend. Whatever you say won’t go outside these four walls, unless you want it to.’
Seconds passed as she tried to assemble her words. ‘You’re very near retirement; I don’t want to drag you down.’
Downes clasped her knee and gave it a squeeze. ‘It can’t be that bad, can it?’
Ruby knocked back her drink, taking comfort in its warmth as it slid down her throat.
Downes frowned. ‘Now you’re worrying me. Are you pregnant or something?’
‘Good God no. It’s about work.’ She paused. Did she see a trace of disappointment flicker across Downes’s face? It must have been relief in disguise.
He gave a soft chuckle. ‘Then pour me another drink, girl; sounds like it’s going to be a long night.’
The words felt like rocks in her throat: each confession worse than the last. Her on-off affair with Nathan, their adopted daughter, her visit to Goldie, and the unreported emails directed solely at her. Downes’s face was expressionless throughout, but by the rate he was sinking her booze the words were having their effect.
‘And you kept all of this to yourself? Why didn’t you come to me earlier? It’s not as if you didn’t have the opportunity.’
‘I didn’t want to involve you; it wouldn’t have been fair.’
‘So what’s changed?’
‘I think I know who the door-knocker killer is.’
‘Shit,’ Downes said. ‘Who is it?’
‘I’ve got a suspicion it’s my daughter. Lucy, or whatever she calls herself now. It’s why I’ve come to you. I need your help bringing her in tomorrow. I think I know where she’s going to be.’
‘And how did you get that information?’
‘Through my contacts,’ Ruby replied, staring into her empty glass.
‘The Crosbys.’ It was a statement, not a question.
‘Lenny. Nathan knows nothing about it. Please don’t ask me any more.’
‘Meaning,’ Downes paused, ‘you had to give something in return? Did he hurt you?’
‘Oh no, nothing like that. But you’re right; there was an… exchange. It’s finished now. Nobody got hurt.’
‘Hmm… but there was that drugs raid. The one they’d been planning for months. The one that fell apart because someone had tipped them off?’
‘And there’s this,’ Ruby said, changing the subject swiftly as she pulled a sheet of folded paper from her pocket.
‘These are the stills from the internet café that I mentioned in briefing. Judging by the times, we’re pretty certain this is our suspect.’ She handed over the grainy image of a person with short dark bobbed hair.
‘Looks a bit like Worrow,’ Downes joked, squinting at the image.
‘It matches the description of the woman Goldie told me about. I’m going to disclose it to Worrow at first light. But I’m not telling her about my daughter, or how I got this information in the first place.’
Downes tutted. ‘Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. What a tangled web we weave.’
She looked at him uncertainly. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘What do you want me to do?’
Ruby shrugged, feeling like an axe was about to drop at any minute. ‘Do what you feel is right.’
‘This does my head in, you know that? You’re getting paid to lock up criminals, then sneaking off to see them on job time. You could lose your job.’
Guilt and shame washed over Ruby and she bit back the tears that threatened to flow. She drew in a deep breath. Crying had brought her merciless teasing from her brother as a child. It was a sign of weakness, and she hated herself for being at such a low point in her life. She wanted to tell Downes that she realised how stupid she’d been, that she was disgusted with herself for risking her career and felt every inch the loathed ‘bent copper’ for providing evidence which could have collapsed the raid. She opened her mouth to speak, but the lump in her throat grew and she could not trust herself to utter the words. Her chin wobbled and she shielded her face in her hands, catching the tears which were now trailing between her fingers without her permission.
‘I’m sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen.’
Downes squeezed her shoulder. ‘Hush now, you’re not the first copper to get themselves in hot water and you won’t be the last. I don’t suppose you’ve eaten, have you? Let me order in some food. You’ll feel better with some grub inside you.’
Ruby nodded, her sobs subsiding. Downes looked around the room for a takeaway menu. A rush of loneliness hit her. The dynamics in their relationship had changed, and they had broken all of the rules. No discussion of work, no sharing a meal, and definitely no crying on his shoulder. It begged the question: was their friendship over? And how would she cope on her own?
But Downes was not leaving her any time soon. The next few hours were spent discussing options over a takeaway Chinese. Relief swept over Ruby as it became apparent he had no intention of reporting her to her superiors. She would have to ensure no evidence of any kind could be traced back to her, then deny any involvement if she was questioned. At least she hadn’t taken any payment from Lenny. If she had, Downes might have turned her in, and she wouldn’t have blamed him. But she was as much a victim in this sorry affair as anyone else, and all she wanted to do was to put it right.
Ruby rubbed a bleary eye as she looked at her watch. ‘It’s gone one a.m., you’d better be going.’
‘I’m not leaving you here on your own. Do you want to come back to mine and stay the night?’
Downes’s townhouse was five minutes’ walk from the station, and the pretty tree-lined estate where he lived also housed other police officers on her shift. ‘No, someone will see us and put two and two together. I’m OK, honestly.’
He stood up from the cramped chair and stretched his limbs. ‘In that case, I’m staying with yous. Try not to abuse me in the night, I’m too tired.’
Ruby gave a short laugh and followed him to the bedroom. They spooned, listening to the gentle howl of the wind through the crack in her bedroom window. His strong arms gave her comfort, and she had the best night’s sleep in weeks.
She awoke the next morning to the sound of the shower and pushed back her tousled hair as Downes emerged from a puff of steam.
‘For the love of God, how do you use that shower? There’re two settings: Baltic or lobster boil. I’m fecking freezing.’
Ruby cast an eye over his muscular shoulders, trailing down to the small towel draped over his torso. The slight paunch did not detract from him in the slightest. Ruby didn’t want to return to reality yet. Tonight was a late shift, and it was an hour before her alarm clock was due to go off. Snuggling back under the duvet, she pulled back a corner, enticing him inside. ‘If you want I can warm you up.’
Downes smiled in return, whipping off the towel to rough-dry his hair. ‘I know your game, lassie: fiddling with the temperature to get me into bed. You only had to ask.’