Eight
Sandy Lake, Wisconsin
Jen and Tommy sat alone on the front porch, enjoying a late-afternoon tea after a morning of water sports and a leisurely lunch, rich with family conversation.
“You’re going where?” Tommy asked, not hiding his incredulity.
“Keep your voice down,” Jen said. “You’ll wake Kristin from her nap.”
He dialed back the volume but whisper-yelled, “I can’t believe you’re going on a date while we’re here. We’ve only been gone a week! Aren’t you still engaged to Amanda?”
Jen coolly assessed him, as she absent-mindedly massaged the vacant spot on her ring finger. “It isn’t a date. I’m catching up with a high school friend, and I might have a few drinks, so I’m planning to stay overnight.”
He squinted at her, his light brown eyes a little bloodshot after too much alcohol the night before. “Is she gay?”
Jen sighed. “Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?”
He jutted out his chin. “I knew it.”
“Knew what?”
“You’re planning revenge sex to even the score against Amanda’s affair with Roxy.” He quietly clapped his hands in an annoying, slow cadence.
“Stop that,” she said in a hushed tone, so her family wouldn’t overhear from the living room. “Your mind is working overtime. I’m visiting a friend. We’re catching up. No one is planning sex, revenge or otherwise. Besides, I’m not that kind of girl. I don’t do hookups.”
He shrugged and turned his attention to a loon swimming on the lake. “Whatever you say. Personally, I think it would be good for you. Maybe release you from this mysterious bondage Amanda has on you.”
“Mysterious bondage?” Jen asked. What happened to Tommy not wanting to be in the middle? “What are you talking about?”
His eyes remained on the loon, now swimming close to the Dawson dock. “I just feel like she takes advantage of you as a person. You’re an accomplished physician, the best mom ever, a fantastic cook, an athlete, a beautiful, sexy woman, and she still fooled around on you.” He snorted in disgust. “She’s worse than a guy.”
She cocked her head at him. “I thought you and Amanda were friends.”
“We are, but when it comes to you, we’re competitive.”
“Fair enough,” she said. “Don’t worry about me. I’m not an abused political wife with self-esteem issues. It’s Amanda who has self-destructive issues.”
He looked at her hands, holding her tea mug to her chest. “So, where’s the expensive engagement ring Amanda gave you?”
She blushed. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I left it in San Francisco.”
“That tells me something right there,” he said.
“I’m not advertising that I’m available,” she said, admitting to herself that its absence did create that impression.
“I beg to differ.” He raised a bushy eyebrow.
She supposed the engagement ring, or lack thereof, struck and angry chord with him, since she had returned the one he had given her three years ago. “I just removed it because it no longer…” She paused a moment, her throat suddenly parched. “It just didn’t symbolize what we had…or have…or whatever.” She stopped talking before she cried, something she could not do in front of him.
His gaze switched back to the loon, and he could now see a little nestling tucked into the plumage on its back. “Well, if you want a good revenge fuck from someone you trust, I’m here.”
Oh shit. Not this again. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I’m an official, card-carrying lesbian, so I won’t be having sex with a man. If I wanted to, though, you know you’d be the one.”
“In that case, have fun on your date.” He didn’t sound very genuine.
“It isn’t a date, and thank you for taking care of Kristin.”
***
After Kristin woke from her nap, Jen played dolls in the living room with her, which meant a lot of talking on play-cell phones. Kristin was full-on into mimicking adults on their phones, an eye-opener for Jen. When the clock chimed four, Jen slipped away and showered, then changed into a jean skirt, black tank that hugged her toned body, and a loose white shirt.
Not in the routine of applying makeup, she smudged her lower lid with mascara, dabbed it with a Q-tip, then reapplied. She regarded herself in the mirror, and, after a long pause, decided she liked what she saw. This isn’t revenge sex, she sternly reminded the woman staring back at her.
As she tossed a makeup remover wipe and toothbrush into her bag, she chastised herself that she didn’t do hookups and had no intention of staying overnight at Victoria’s. She didn’t second-guess why she added a pair of nylon shorts and a long sleeve to her bag, but they were in there now, so in there they would remain.
She said goodbye to Kristin, kissed her mother on the cheek, hugged Tommy, and drove off in Kay’s grandmotherly sedan. Jen made a note to drop into the conversation with Victoria that she was borrowing her mother’s car, so Victoria wouldn’t think her taste in cars was so…grandmotherly.
Victoria’s directions were very accurate, so Jen found her way there in record time. She was used to the congested traffic of the Bay Area, where it took 40 minutes to drive anywhere. In lake country, however, everything was so quick and easy that Jen was uber - punctual, arriving well in advance of the appointed time. Cool first impression , she thought sarcastically. She parked in the gravel driveway and admired the modern lake home, which in no way resembled the “cabin” Victoria had casually mentioned last night.
The home had several oversized windows that took advantage of the sun on the southwest side, capturing energy in the northern climate. The cabin concept reimagined, the house radiated modern architectural design and efficiency. It was constructed of several boxes and varying rooflines with banks of solar panels strategically placed throughout.
As soon as Jen opened her car door and approached the long sidewalk, she was met by a graceful black standard poodle and an older black Labrador who gave warning barks but apologized by wagging their tails and licking her hands. They were obviously Victoria’s alarm bell, because she opened the front door before Jen got anywhere near to knock or press the doorbell.
“Hey Jen, so good to see you,” Victoria said.
“You too,” Jen said. “Nice dogs.”
“These are Reggie and Augie. They’re people-lovers, so don’t be afraid.” Victoria joined Jen on the sidewalk, the dogs twining around the women’s legs.
Jen’s eyes fell immediately to Victoria’s short jean shorts, the fringes barely covering her unmentionables, unexpectedly igniting Jen’s libido. Victoria’s deep tan rose high on her legs, disappearing under the fringes, piquing Jen’s curiosity about the existence of any tan lines underneath.
Jen leaned in to give Victoria a peck on the cheek, but Victoria turned and kissed Jen on the lips. Not a big kiss, but she lingered long enough to let Jen know this was a date rather than catching up for old time’s sake.
“You look nice.” Victoria lingered.
“Nice?” Jen said in mock-credulity. “I get ‘nice?’”
Victoria laughed. “Want me to go unfiltered out of the gate?”
“Feel free. I made an effort.”
“Then you look sexy as hell with your ripped body,” Victoria said.
Jen smiled. “Sexy jean shorts yourself.” She resisted the urge to brush the tips of her fingers along the fringes.
The edges of Victoria’s lips curled up, as she grasped Jen’s hand. “Let’s go inside for a drink.”
Jen was learning that Victoria wasn’t timid about going after what she wanted, and Victoria apparently wanted Jen. She came off as someone who made the rounds socially, which underscored how sheltered Jen was. She had slept with only Amanda and gone on one date with Nicole, a young woman she had met at CrossFit when she and Amanda had broken up for a couple of months. In the lesbian dating world, Jen was still wet behind the ears , if indeed that saying could be used innocently.
Victoria and Jen entered an open kitchen that was separated from the living area by a glass wall with a fireplace on both sides. Exposed posts and beams gave the structure a cabin feel juxtaposed against stainless appliances, light granite countertops and modern furniture. Jen was impressed.
“What can I fix you? Gin and tonic? Beer? Wine?” Victoria asked.
“That reminds me,” Jen said, sliding her bag off her shoulder, “I brought a chilled bottle of white wine if that works for you.”
“Thank you.” Victoria accepted the bottle. “Would you like a glass now or with dinner?”
“Probably with dinner,” Jen said.
Victoria turned and stowed the bottle in the fridge.
“Now, for the boat ride. I’m having a gin and tonic with cilantro,” Victoria said. “What’s your poison?”
Jen couldn’t think of worse combination. Gin. Yuck . She was convinced the cilantro wouldn’t cover up the oily taste of gin and would only serve to compete with the juniper flavor. Double yuck . “Light beer if you have it.”
Victoria smiled knowingly. “I have a fridge full of it. Let’s pack a small cooler and go down to the dock.”
Victoria made herself a monster G&T in a plastic bottle then led Jen through a screened porch area where she stopped and threw a few beers into a small cooler. She quickly placed a beer in a black Koozie with a cryptic, white symbol on it and handed the can to Jen.
“Thanks.” Jen preferred to wait until they were on the boat before opening it, realizing she was a bit self-conscious about starting her buzz too early then saying, or doing, something stupid on the boat. The way Victoria was prancing around unabashedly in her revealing shorts and see-through top in her ostentatious cabin was downright intimidating. Jen had to stay on her A game.
As soon as they exited the porch, Victoria called her dogs, who stayed on the ladies’ heels all the way to the boat.
Victoria’s ski boat was every bit as expensive as Jake’s, sporting similar bells and whistles. They kicked off their flipflops and jumped in, luring the dogs, who came leaping over the side and onto the white seats, where the poodle stayed. The lab quickly bounded from the back to the bow, sticking his nose into the air. Victoria powered up the engine and drove away from the dock, turning on the music system to Caribbean country.
Of course she listens to country, Jen thought. She pictured Victoria in red cowgirl boots, line-dancing at a summer concert. The image made her smile.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Victoria said.
Jen looked at the shoreline, the low sun bouncing off her blonde hair and tanned face. “I’m just living in the moment in the company of someone who likes the same things I do.”
Victoria pushed her long hair over her shoulder and reached over to Jen’s legs. She ran her hand over Jen’s smooth knee. “I have a feeling we’re going to like a lot of the same things.”
Yowzah . Even though Victoria didn’t take her eyes away from driving the boat, she whetted Jen’s appetite with her tone and touch.
Jen didn’t want to give the impression she was a naïve school girl, untutored in the art of flirtation, so she picked up Victoria’s hand and brought it to her lips. She brushed a few kisses over the top then leisurely let it fall.
“Thank you. That feels nice.” Victoria smiled and sipped her drink.
A minute passed, then Jen got out of her seat so she could stand in the center of the boat next to Victoria. She rested her hands on the top of the windshield and looked over the bow, where the Labrador was pointing his nose at a Loon that had just come to the surface. “You have a pretty lake.”
“Thanks. It’s a good swimming lake…very clean.”
“I hope this ride doesn’t include swimming,” Jen said. “I’m not wearing a suit under this.”
Victoria laughed. “That never stopped me. Do you like to skinny dip?”
Jen liked the way Victoria spoke her mind. Not wanting to sound prudish, she said, “I’ve been known to a time or two.”
“Then I’ll keep my hopes up,” Victoria said.
The variety of cabins and houses held Jen’s attention as they slowly motored along the shoreline. Like Sandy Lake, where Jen’s parents had their compound, the residents of Victoria’s lake were on their boats for an evening cocktail cruise. They waved as they passed by, some calling Victoria by name, giving Jen the impression that Victoria was popular in her lake community. The dogs barked greetings at dogs on other boats, and Jen immediately felt happy to be a guest in Victoria’s world, curious to know more about her. For the time being, however, she was content to relax to the music and live in the moment of an easy summer evening on the water.
Victoria seemed to intuit Jen’s mood, for she, too, appeared content to let time pass in Jen’s company without forcing conversation or asking 20 questions. As they stayed in motion, she pointed out a few landmarks and shared a tidbit of information about a few boaters, but didn’t fill the air with constant small talk, for which Jen was grateful.
The low sun radiated a warm glow, casting hues of pink and gold over the women, melting away Jen’s nervousness. She worked her way through her beer and opened another, feeling mellow and carefree. She again gazed distractedly at the symbol on her koozie, recognizing but not remembering—was it equestrian? Reluctant to betray any lack of knowledge to Victoria, Jen remained silent. She expected its meaning would pop into her head later; much in the manner of recalling the title to a song she couldn’t remember in the moment.
Victoria didn’t let her G&T sit for very long, taking sips and timing her consumption to stretch over the trip around the lake.
When they returned to Victoria’s dock, Jen thought the ride had passed quickly, even though they had been on the water for an hour. To her credit, Victoria hadn’t asked one question about Jen’s complicated personal life. Victoria effortlessly docked her boat in the lift, and they followed the dogs onto the dock. Victoria pressed a button on the boat key fob, and the electric lift did the rest, raising the boat out of the water and into the canopy.
“Hungry?” Victoria asked over the grind of the lift motor.
“I could eat something,” Jen said.
Released from the responsibility of driving, Victoria, slipped her arm around Jen’s waist as they walked up the grassy slope to her front porch. “I like your company, Jen Dawson. Not much of a talker, are you?”
Jen liked Victoria’s touch—assertive but not gropey—her confident arm lightly curled around Jen’s back, and her hand rested on Jen’s opposite hip. “Ha. I was thinking the same thing about you. That ride was just what I needed—relaxing.”
“Me too,” Victoria said.
“I’m glad we’re back though, because my bladder couldn’t have gone much longer,” Jen said.
“Me either.”
They entered the cabin, and Victoria pointed to a guest bathroom off the kitchen then disappeared down a hallway to another. They met up again in the kitchen where there was an awkward silence for a millisecond until Victoria’s playlist resumed. Jen watched as Victoria removed two steaks from the fridge. “These need to come up to room temp. Want to start the grill on the back deck?”
“I’d love to,” Jen said, “Propane?”
“Yep.”
Jen had a lovely buzz going and was excited to help because she was used to doing all of the cooking and felt off kilter without something to do with her hands. She was tempted to kiss Victoria before going out to start the grill, perhaps out of sheer delight at being invited over, but restrained herself at the last minute. She didn’t know why she couldn’t act on the impulse—as she had earlier on the boat—but the moment passed, so she exited through the sliding door in search of a grill.
She located the large, silver beast on a patio, and while clicking the starter for the first burner, she wondered if she was expected to have sex with Victoria. Panic suddenly pulsed through her veins now that she was presented with the reality rather than just daydreaming about getting laid. Am I post-Amanda? Are we finished? Am I ready to be with another woman? Am I calling our relationship over? Shit. It’s only been a week!
Jen wrestled with her thoughts, trying to decide whether they were manifestations of anxiety that she should dismiss or valid questions that she needed to consider and work through. Was she not engaging in the same conduct for which she had castigated Amanda?
She gazed at the horizon, looking for the answer. Three slivers of clouds, oyster-pink from the reflected light of the sinking sun, formed a backdrop to the picturesque shoreline. The remainder of the dusky sky was clear, promising a star-spangled canopy later. The answer didn’t issue forth from the sky, so her conundrum clung to her, unresolved.
When she returned to the kitchen, Victoria spread her arms wide. “Come here, sexy.”
Jen walked right into those tanned arms and felt them wrap around her back. Victoria simply hugged her, her hands resting on the small of Jen’s back. When Victoria pulled back a bit, she looked more serious than Jen would expect.
Their faces only inches apart, Victoria said, “I don’t want to rush into anything, but I’m really into you.”
Jen was amazed that Victoria knew just the right thing to say, perhaps sensing Jen’s reluctance. Even after Jen had taken the initiative on the boat by kissing Victoria’s hand, they both felt a force holding Jen back.
“Thank you for saying that.” Jen thought honesty was the only way to approach her current situation. “I’m really attracted to you, too, but my life is complicated. I feel like I should explain where I’m at, so you can decide whether you want to…ah…you know…take this any further.”
Victoria smiled. “I’d love to hear about your complicated life over dinner and a bottle of wine.”
Jen felt equally relieved and terrified. What pieces was she supposed to disclose? She’d be damned if she’d spend the night talking about Amanda.