THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED WAS THAT THE twenty-one guys who’d been turned into pigs came hurrying back to the beach. Pork. Polites. Ear. All of them. Sure, they kept looking back over their shoulder, like they thought Circe was going to snap her fingers and turn them into pigs again, but after a couple glasses of mead, they were fine. The second thing that happened, after he’d calmed down enough, was that Pork said, “The witch says we all get to go hang out at the palace. She promises not to turn us back into anything unnatural.”
“Where’s Odysseus?” Eurylochus said.
Pork took another huge sip and wiped his mouth with his arm. “I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of Odysseus anytime soon. The witch has got him. But he says it’s okay.”
I didn’t know what the witch and Odysseus were up to, and I didn’t want to find out.
So, we set up camp in an entire wing of the palace, and we waited. And waited. And waited. And then finally one day—a year had gone by; seriously, a year—Odysseus came sauntering into the room where the guys sat around eating and drinking.
“Are we ready to go yet?” he asked, like he’d only been gone for an hour.
I almost threw a pan at his head, but Dory stopped me. She kind of liked it here because she got to cook and there was all sorts of yummy food, but I was ready to get back on the road. Or the sea, as the case might be.
“Is he kidding?” I muttered under my breath. I’d tried not to panic, but I had to turn the hourglass once already and almost needed to turn it again.
I wasn’t the only one ready to leave. Eurylochus stormed forward and got right in Odysseus’ face.
“How dare you leave us here for so long?” he said.
“I had no choice,” Odysseus said. “To save the men. It was the price I had to pay.”
“Save the men,” Eurylochus mocked. “We should have left a year ago when we had the chance. We would have been back to Ithaca months ago.”
Odysseus pushed him aside, as if to move by. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Eurylochus.”
“And you don’t deserve to be king,” Eurylochus said.
The air froze around them. I could not believe he’d just said that. I wrote down every word, trying not to blink so I wouldn’t miss anything.
One second went by. Then two. Three. Four. Odysseus’ hand went to his sword, but he didn’t pull it out. Eurylochus was not so smart. He launched forward and grabbed Odysseus around the neck.
They grappled and fell to the ground. At first the guys cheered them on, most of them rooting for Odysseus. A handful of others calling out Eurylochus’ name. He did have some supporters among the guys.
Back and forth they fought, until Odysseus finally landed above Eurylochus. His yellow tunic had been ripped nearly in half. He pulled his sword from its sheath and placed it against Eurylochus’ throat.
“What did you say, swine?” Odysseus said.
Eurylochus spotted the cold metal, and his eye grew wide, like somehow he was surprised to see it. But how could he be surprised? Odysseus was the king of Ithaca. Eurylochus was nothing but a wannabe.
“I said that you didn’t deserve to be king,” Eurylochus said.
I guess he was trying to get himself killed.
“And for that insult, you will die.” Odysseus raised the sword and prepared to strike.
“Wait!” Polites said, limping forward.
“Wait for what?” Odysseus said.
“Don’t kill him,” Polites said. “Not like this.”
“His insult is unforgivable,” Odysseus said.
I wanted to scream, “Just put down the sword,” but I wasn’t about to get in the middle of this fight.
“You can’t kill him,” Polites said. “It’s not what you do.”
“He deserves to die,” Odysseus said.
Polites shrugged. “I’m not saying I disagree with you. But let the gods be the judge of that. You need to keep your conscience clean.”
Odysseus lowered the sword one more time to Eurylochus’ neck. And then he did us all proud by hawking up a giant loogie on Eurylochus. It landed right on his eye.
“Only because you’re related to my wife am I sparing your life,” Odysseus said, and then he stepped back.
We all started breathing again. Then we returned to the ship and got it ready to sail which wasn’t an easy task since it had been sitting at the dock for over a year. We patched the leaks with black pitch and mended the blue sail and scrubbed the deck until it shone.
“Where to?” Polites said once everything was ready to go.
Odysseus turned the rudder until it was pointing in the complete opposite direction of Ithaca. “We sail west.”
“West?” Eurylochus said. He was right back at it, questioning Odysseus’ every move.
“West,” Odysseus said. “To edge of the sea. We sail to the Underworld.”