Grace took a steadying breath and opened the door. Evan smiled as she walked inside. “Doctor Reid. Do you have a moment?”
"Mrs. Samuels,” he said by way of greeting. “How are you today?"
“I’m fine thank you and please, call me Grace. We’ve known each other long enough to stop being so formal.”
“Only if you call me, Evan.”
Grace returned the smile and hoped it reached her eyes. She removed her bonnet, patted down her hair, and inhaled deeply before looking him in the eye. “I hate to keep bothering you but have you found anything yet?”
The look on his face told her he hadn’t.
"I'm sorry, Grace. I’ve searched through every medical journal I own and all those I found in Missoula, but I've seen nothing beyond what I've already told you."
She hid her disappointment behind a weak smile.
"I'll keep looking, though.”
He stared at her for a long moment and it looked as if he wanted to say something but was hesitant to do so. Was he tired of her coming into his office asking for answers he didn’t have? Probably. She would be. “What ever it is, Evan, just say it.”
He motioned to the chair next to his desk. "Come and sit down, Grace." She wanted to refuse but settled into the seat to hear him out. If he told her to never come back, then so be it. Maybe that’s what it would take to convince her heart it was truly over. “I know it must be tiring for me to keep coming in but helping Alex with those babies—“
“I know, Grace. You don’t have to explain.”
The tears she promised not to shed burned her eyes. She lowered her gaze and blinked them away. She never begrudged a second of time Alex asked her to help out. She loved tending to Catherine and James but leaving them and going home alone wasn’t the same as rocking one to sleep and laying them down knowing they would be there anytime she looked. As much as she loved her niece and nephew, it wasn’t the same as loving one of her own.
Evan took his seat behind the desk. “I spoke with a doctor while I was in Missoula. He's never run across a treatment for your condition but…"
"But What?" Grace prompted when he stopped talking.
He gave her a reassuring smile and shifted in his seat. "He told me of a medicine man who lives out near Guilford.”
Grace sat up straight in her seat. "A medicine man?" She blinked and clutched her bonnet in her hands. "You mean an Indian? That kind of medicine man?"
Evan nodded. "Yes."
She opened her mouth several times but never made a sound.
"It’s just a suggestion, Grace. I have no idea what he'd do or how…"
A medicine man. Grace stood and paced away from the desk, stopping at the window. She moved the curtain aside, staring toward the school for long minutes.
"Talk to Rafe,” he said. “See what he thinks. I'm here to answer any questions you have, you know this, but I just don't know what else to do. I've tried everything I can think of, Grace. It may be time to take a leap of faith."
Faith was all she had left. She nodded, let the curtain fall and turned back to face him. She blinked to ease the sting of tears wanting to form in her eyes again. "I'll talk to him.” She smiled, the corners of her mouth barely lifting. “I’ll let you know."
She left quickly and hurried down the sidewalk, ducking between the buildings and hurrying over to the bench nestled underneath the trees behind the mercantile. She’d sat there too many times to count while her heart bled out what she thought was the last tear she had but today proved she still had more. She hated feeling like this. Hated the pain that came with the wanting.
Dabbing the wetness from her face she inhaled deeply and stood. She’d been gone too long and Alex would start to wonder where she’d gone. Catherine and James would never be hers but she could love them as if they were. They were family, after all. They were apparently the closest she’d ever get to being a mother.
The End
For Now