Macon Georgia
September of 1855
“You followed me,” said Ellie. Although she knew it was nothing short of insanity to resent it, she did. If only the world would let her be, she would not need saving. Now she owed William an even bigger debt.
William shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. I decided to take a walk, myself.”
“Do not play country hayseed with me, William Craft. You just happened to take the same path? No, you were following me.”
William sighed. “Yes, I followed you but not close. That’s why it took so long to get here when you screamed.”
“Why can’t anyone just leave me be?” said Ellie, closing her eyes and holding her hand to her forehead.
William looked shocked. “Ellie, make no mistake. Those men were fixing to rape you. I heard the threats, and I followed out of concern. Justified concern.”
Ellie bowed her head in despair. “What difference does it make, Will? It’s going to happen, and nothing I or you do will stop it. Hess, Miss Deb’s husband, these boys, whoever, it’s only a matter of time. I just want to die, Will. I’m tired of living scared. I’m tired of the resentment of my color, my cloths, and where and how I live, when, in fact, I want none of it.”
Shaking her head and looking away, tears streamed down her face. She hated crying in front of Will. She hated everything, but most of all she hated herself for lacking the courage or the wit to do something about it. She was helpless and she always would be.
She felt Will’s hand on her shoulder and yanked away from him. His touch was warm and good and she did not want it.
“Don’t,” she said.
“You don’t have to be alone, Ellie,” said William.
“Yes I do!” she said through her tears. She raised her fists and beat on Will’s chest, gasping out, “I have no family. I have no home. I have no friends. I have no freedom.”
“You can have love,” said Will. “That’s one thing no one can take.”
“Yes they can!” cried Ellie. “They can take you away, and I won’t have slave children, Will. I won’t do it. Do you understand me? As God is my witness, I won’t!”
Without intending it, and to her despair, finally confessing this to Will, the first person she had ever told, opened Ellie’s soul to him, a connection she was now powerless to prevent. She staggered back, her hand to her mouth crying uncontrollably.
Will stepped forward, taking her into his arms. She resisted, but then collapsed against him, so warm, so caring and so longed for. She needed to love him, and it horrified her to know it.
“We can’t, Will,” she said, her eyes closed. “We’re slaves Will. You know I’m right.”
“I know, Ellie. It’s a burden on me just as much. But we can make it work.”
“How?” said Ellie, clutching him tightly. A flood of emotions, pent up so many years, poured from her, a lifetime of desire, passion and heartbreak. Everything she kept hidden, all the dread of intimacy, all the disappointment for what her father had made of her, all the pride and despair and ignorance and most of all the constant fear were all swept away. Loving Will frightened her, but she could no more stop it than she could stop the sun rising in the morning or the rain from falling out of the sky.
“We’ll escape. In the meantime, we’ll marry. If I am with you, it will make it harder for those other men to take you.”
Ellie looked at Will, his face turned down to her. He was everything she wanted and had dreamed of; big, black and handsome as thunder across the morning hills. She could never live without him, and there was no going back.
“Escape? How? It’s a thousand miles to the free states in the North, Will. How are we to run a thousand miles? How can anyone do that?”
“We will find a way. I know we will.”
She so much wanted to believe him that she did, and for the first time in her life she felt peace. The terror drained from her like a lanced boil. It was a gift she never expected to receive from anyone, the most precious and astonishing gift of her life.