PREDICTABLY, IT WAS the Afghanistan dream that tore Max from a deep, uncomfortable sleep, his eyes snapped open and he gasped, his heart pounding. He lay there, breathing heavily, the smell of hot Afghan earth and the coppery tang of Dippy’s blood all around him. Looking at the clock he saw it was 5.30 a.m.
Nutmeg whined, and moved closer, her tail twitching. She flicked her tongue at the cold sweat beaded across his face.
‘Babe?’ said Katie, her voice thick with sleep, as she turned to look at him in the gloom of the dawn light that was filtering through the curtains.
‘I’m fine, love. Go back to sleep. I’m heading to the office. I’ll take Nutty out first,’ he said.
‘Dream?’ she said, reaching a hand to touch his face.
‘No, I’m good,’ lied Max.
‘You sure?’ Her eyes full of concern.
‘Aye, go back to sleep.’ Max reached over and kissed her warm face.
‘You’re sweaty. Sure it wasn’t the dreams?’
‘I’m good, I’ll see you later.’
Katie snuggled into the thick duvet. ‘Love you, be careful,’ she said, her voice already succumbing to sleep. One of Katie’s notable skills was her ability to sleep. Max knew from bitter experience that sleep was impossible once the dreams had struck.
He threw back the covers and climbed out of bed, picking up his clothes and padding softly out of the bedroom, Nutmeg at his heels.
‘Run?’ said Max to the little cockapoo, whose tail instantly went from a small twitch to a thrashing metronome.
Ears cocked forward, her face was the picture of anticipation as Max pulled on his running gear, desperate to be pushing his body out in the chilly air.
‘Come on, then,’ he began to run, steadily at first before picking up the pace.
The Nietzsche line came to mind as he ran, almost like it was being branded on his brain.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Max drove his body hard, punishing it, forcing the dreams away and making him feel better.
Not all better. Just a bit better.