43. Light a Match with Your Teeth
class: opener | impressiveness: 4/5 | factors: dangerous, hazardous, …cool | requires: box of strike-anywhere matches | watch full episode
Look like a complete badass by lighting a match with your teeth!
WARNING: Okay, so we’re playing with matches here. I shouldn’t have to tell you that only responsible adults should attempt any of these feats, and under proper safety conditions. I should also point out that if you attempt ANY of these tricks, you absolutely WILL GET BURNED.
Also: please don’t burn anything down. And don’t sue me.
There.
Warnings are out of the way. Yes you’ll get burned, but man, you’ll look so badass…
Do you have what it takes to light a match with your teeth?
Watch Demonstration (External link)
Grab a box of “strike anywhere” matches, and pick out the ones that have the most of that white strikey-anywherey stuff on them (That’s the scientific term, right?). They absolutely must be strike-anywhere matches, which are apparently harder to find in some areas.
Before you begin, dry off your teeth. When you’re first practicing, use a paper towel to make sure they’re completely dry. Later (as you get more practiced), you’ll be able to just use your fingers dry your teeth out enough.
Now, what happens next is going to depend on the shape of your teeth, so you’re going to have to experiment with a few different variations on these moves:
Place the match in the part of your teeth that will have the maximum strike area. For a lucky few, it’ll be the crook in-between their front two incisors. If you’re one of those people, you’ll be able place your thumb behind the match inside your mouth and pop the match straight forward, and just that small amount of friction will light it.
Remember that your goal is to have enough friction to cause enough heat to get the match started, so you’ll have to put a decent amount of pressure against your teeth as you push forward.
If you try it a few times but get nothing, try this sure-fire variation: hold the match pointing straight upward, with the head touching the bottom-right-hand edge of your right incisor. I want you to pretend that the bottoms of your two incisors is your striking surface, and your goal is to drag the match head along it all the way from the beginning of the right edge to the end of the left edge.
You’ll need a tight grip right underneath the match head to keep it in position, and you’ll have to keep it firmly placed against the bottom of your teeth as you drag it across. If your match keeps falling off the “strike surface” of your teeth as you drag across, try pinching your fingers actually on each side of the match head, and use the tips of your fingers to keep everything lined up. This is super effective, but increases the risk of burning the tips of your fingers… (I did mention that you’ll totally get burned doing this eventually, right?)
Oh, and NEWS FLASH: I have no idea what this does to your teeth in the long term… but I can’t imagine it’s good.