The next morning, Zane pulled up in front of Channing’s grandparents’ home with a purpose and a plan. He’d never pursued a woman in his life, but giving Channing up wasn’t an option. He hadn’t gone to bed until he’d come up with this idea. And now he was back with a game changer.
If anyone had presented this problem to him, he would have told them, based on what he knew about women, that actions speak louder than words. Since Channing didn’t believe a word he said, it was time to show it.
The next thing he would do was let her think she was in control. Some women enjoyed having the upper hand when a man fell in love with them. They had to see it happening before believing it was real. Especially when it came to a devout bachelor. The woman had to feel she’d succeeded into pushing the man into loving her. When she assumed she’d used her feminine wiles to conquer the man’s heart, that made victory so much sweeter.
If that was what was needed, then he was game. And he planned to enjoy every single minute Channing thought she was winning him over, mainly because he would be winning her over, as well. And he knew just how to do it because he knew Channing—her weaknesses and her strengths.
By the time it was over and done, the how of it wouldn’t matter because he’d loved her, anyway. And when he was through, there would be no doubt in Channing’s mind that she was his woman and he was her man.
Her man.
Where was the shudder he was supposed to feel at being any woman’s man? In fact, he felt pretty damn good when he considered the idea. And he also felt good about the fact that Channing still loved him although he was sure she would deny it with her last breath. What had happened yesterday in that bedroom wasn’t just about sex like she’d claimed. It had been about making love.
To Channing, passion and love were synonymous, and there had been a lot of passion in that bed yesterday. But he wasn’t stupid. Although she might still love him, that love was being held hostage by her mistrust, and he’d have to work hard to release it. More than anything he had to find a way to rekindle that love.
Smiling, Zane swiftly walked up the steps to the porch and glanced at the swing. He’d seen it yesterday but had been too focused on Channing to pay much attention to it. He could see her in the swing. He would be sitting there with her, his arms around her and her head resting on his chest. He’d whisper that he loved her while the motion of the swing rocked them. She would believe him when he said the words. And there would be no doubt in her mind of his sincerity.
He was about to knock on the door when he glanced through her living room window. He paused, angling his head for a better view. When he got it, anger shot through him. A man was moving around Channing’s kitchen. What the hell!
A deep scowl covered his face as he moved toward the door. He didn’t know what was going on, but he was about to find out.
* * *
“Jennifer and I thank you kindly for all this food, Channing.”
Channing smiled as she continued packing up the containers. “No problem, Ronald. You’re actually doing me a favor. I hadn’t meant to cook so much.”
Ronald Farmer glanced around the kitchen. “Yes, I would say you did get a bit carried away.”
Channing threw back her head and laughed. It was then that she heard the knock at the door. “Would you get the door for me? That’s probably Dan Joyner. His grandfather owns the house with the gate down the road. I’ve known him for years, and he’s stopping by to get some of this food, as well.”
“Sure.”
Zane was about to knock on the door again when it was opened by the man he’d viewed through the window. Dressed in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, the man was as tall as Zane but with the body of someone who worked out often. The man had the nerve to be smiling.
“How are you doing?” the man greeted with a friendly air. “You’re here for the food?”
Zane frowned. “No, I’m not here for any food. I’m here to see Channing.” And without waiting to be invited inside, he moved past the man before turning back to him. “Where is she?”
The man looked at him curiously, as if to size him up. Then he said, “She’s in the kitchen.”
“Not anymore,” Channing said, frowning as she stepped into the living room carrying an armful of food containers. She had heard Zane’s voice and could not believe his audacity. Why was he still in Virginia? More importantly, why was he here?
“Let me help you with those,” Ronald said, quickly moving forward to relieve her of the stack she was carrying.
“Thanks.”
She glanced over at Zane and saw the deep haze of anger in his eyes. What was his problem? Deciding to wait until Ronald left before confronting Zane as to why he was here, she said, “Ronald, I’d like you to meet Zane. An old friend.”
Juggling the containers in one hand, Ronald moved toward Zane with the other hand outstretched. “Nice meeting you.”
Zane accepted the man’s handshake grudgingly. “You stay around these parts, Ronald?” Zane asked.
Channing frowned. “Yes, Ronald stays next door,” she answered for him. “His wife and kids are here for the summer.”
“Wife?” Zane asked, shifting his gaze from Ronald to Channing.
“Yes, wife,” Channing answered, annoyed.
She then smiled at Ronald. “I hope you, Jennifer and the kids enjoy everything.”
Ronald returned her smile. “I’m sure we will, and again we appreciate it.” Then with a concerned look on his face, he asked Channing, “You’re going to be okay?”
Channing knew why he was asking. Evidently he’d picked up on Zane’s anger and figured Zane might be an old friend but, at the moment, a bad-tempered one. “Yes, I’ll be fine.”
Satisfied with her response, Ronald glanced back at Zane. “Nice meeting you, Zane.”
“Yeah, same here.” Zane quickly moved to open the door for the man. When the door closed behind Ronald, he turned to Channing. Ignoring the scowl on her face, a smile curved his lips. “He seems like a nice married guy.”
Her frown indicated that she had not appreciated his initial churlish attitude toward Ronald. “What are you doing here, Zane? I thought you’d be back in Denver by now,” she said, turning.
He followed her into the kitchen.
“Not sure why you thought that. Besides, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about our conver—”
He stopped talking as he looked around, seeing her kitchen table and counter littered with food containers. “What’s going on? You’re opening a restaurant on the side?”
Channing rolled her eyes when she began placing some of the containers in the refrigerator. “No, I was just in the mood to cook yesterday.”
“All of this?”
She frowned over her shoulder. “Yes, all of this. I decided to share some with Ronald and Jennifer. They have a sweet little girl and a son who hasn’t started walking yet. They’re a beautiful family.”
He nodded, thinking those folks were not as beautiful as his and Channing’s family would be one day. Last night, after he’d planned his strategy, he’d envisioned them married with a couple of kids and living happily at the Hideout.
“So why did you come back, Zane?”
He leaned against the counter. “I couldn’t help myself.”
Channing drew in a deep sigh. She hoped he wasn’t back to confusing lust with love again. “What do you mean you couldn’t help yourself?” she asked, lifting one eyebrow.
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I got to thinking about our conversation yesterday.”
“And?”
“I told you I loved you, but you didn’t believe me. You said I’m confusing lust with love. For the sake of argument, let’s say you’re right about that.”
“I am right,” she said with absolute certainty. “No man, or woman for that matter, who’s been against falling in love to the depth that you have can miraculously wake up one morning and decide they’re in love. Falling in love doesn’t work that way.”
Zane nodded. “Okay, let’s say you’re right.”
“And?”
Now to throw out the hook and hope she takes the bait, Zane thought as he moved closer. “And if it’s only lust, like you claim, because of this strong sexual chemistry between us, then the only thing I have to say is that I feel that I’m close.”
She lifted a brow. “Close to what?”
“Falling in love with you.”
Channing closed the refrigerator, thinking that now she’d heard everything. “Falling in love with me?”
“Yes. Close. According to you, I can’t be in love with you. If you’re right about that, then how come when that guy opened the door I was ready to hurt him when I thought—”
“I know what you thought, Zane,” Channing interrupted him to say. “And even if that was the case, it wasn’t any of your business.”
He straightened, rolling his head around and working his shoulders to slog out the kinks. “It might not be my business, but it’s an example of one of those things that I can’t help where you’re concerned. I’ve never gotten jealous over a woman before, Channing, so that has to mean something.”
She met his gaze. “It does mean something, and it has nothing to do with love. It means you’re possessive. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me, either.”
“You make me sound like a selfish bastard.”
“Well...it’s a description that fits,” she said, moving around him to go into the living room. In fact, she was leading him to the door. She thought of a question she’d meant to ask him yesterday—something that had nagged at her all during the night. She turned, and he almost bumped into her. When he reached out his hand to steady her, her body tingled from the contact. She forced herself to take a step back when he dropped his hand.
“I have a question for you,” she said, trying to downplay the sensations that were still moving through her body.
“What?”
Channing caught her lower lip between her teeth as she thought about what she wanted to ask him. She decided to come out and do it. “Would it have made a difference if you hadn’t thought Mack was cheating on me?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, leaning against a wall in her living room.
“If you hadn’t assumed Mack was cheating on me, would you have seduced me, anyway?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
She stiffened. “Why?”
It seemed as if several long seconds ticked between them before he responded. “I wanted you, and I could tell you wanted me. I know your body, Channing. I knew the moment you became wet for me. The moment your nipples hardened. I didn’t have to wait for you to ask to know you wanted me inside of you.”
Channing’s stomach clenched. That wetness he was talking about, heaven help her. His words had it flowing again. She felt disgusted with herself for letting Zane have this kind of power over her.
Deciding she needed to take a stand against what he’d claimed regardless of whether it had merit or not, she said, “So you decided to act on your assumption? Even while believing I was engaged to marry another man? The Zane Westmoreland I know would not have done that.”
He moved, coming within inches of her. “Then maybe I’m not the Zane you thought you knew.”
Evidently not.
During those months they’d dated, she had been sure of him regardless of what he’d said about love. But he’d proved her wrong, which was why she couldn’t believe his claim of love. Now it seemed she’d been right not to believe him. He was only on the verge of love.
“I think you should leave now,” she said, moving again toward the door. When she opened it, he reached around her and shut it. She saw a muscle working in his jaw.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked.
“I came back today for a reason, Channing.”
She narrowed her gaze at him. “I know, you couldn’t help yourself because now you think there’s a chance that you’re falling in love with me.” Channing shook her head. “Deliberate or otherwise, you’re confusing the heck out of me. Maybe you’re right, and you aren’t the Zane I thought I knew. If that’s true, I don’t want to know the Zane that you are now.”
She gasped when he braced strong arms against the door on either side of her, effectively trapping her. “Maybe you should.”
* * *
Zane knew what he’d told her was true. He wasn’t the same Zane. First of all, the old Zane would never have fallen in love, and he loved this woman so much he ached all over.
“You’re not making much sense, Zane.”
He almost agreed with her, but he knew what he was doing did make sense. It was his strategy to win her over, to prove once and for all that what he felt for her wasn’t lust but love. “Two years ago you thought you knew me, Channing. I enjoyed you, and you enjoyed me. In your neat and tidy world, you figured things should move from point A to point B by nobody’s timetable but your own. However, what you failed to figure into the equation is that the worst thing a woman can do is push a man when he isn’t ready. You did that. I wasn’t ready then. I am now.”
He saw irritation spread across her face. “Ready for what?”
“To be pushed into feeling things I wasn’t ready to feel before. In fact, I’m open to endless possibilities.”
Channing stared at Zane as her mind trickled back in time. The Zane Westmoreland she’d fallen in love with had never been a typical guy. There had been so many facets to him that she’d spent the first couple of months of their relationship trying to unravel him. There had been the reserved Zane. The forbidding Zane. The Zane who was devoted to his family. The Zane who said what he meant and meant what he said. Those were the qualities that had first attracted her to him, and those same qualities were what had captured her heart and made her fall in love with him.
She knew he still had those qualities, so who was the Zane she didn’t know? As if the question was stamped on her forehead for him to read, he said, “You never get to know anyone completely, Channing, and the reason I’m willing to be pushed now is because I don’t want to lose you again.” He paused. “I admit I’m close. Closer than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Like I said, all I need is a little push.”
He had to make Channing understand. He loved her, and maybe if she didn’t believe he was there already, she would buy that he was almost there and take the chance of prodding him further.
“I admire you so damn much, Channing,” he said honestly. “More than any other woman I’ve been involved with. I knew you wanted more from me, more than I could give. But that didn’t mean I didn’t care for you, because I did. I never led you on. I was always honest with you.”
Channing said nothing as she thought about what he said. He was right. He had always been honest with her. He’d never told her he loved her, and she could admit that it wasn’t his fault that she had wanted him to feel differently.
Now he needs a little push. What if I give him that push and nothing comes of it? Doesn’t he understand he’s asking me to play Russian roulette with my heart?
“Just what are you asking of me, Zane?”
“Something I probably have no right to,” he said gently. “But I’m asking anyway because I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman. Don’t give up on me. Get to know the real Zane, and don’t be afraid to push me to the limit. You’re the only woman who can. You’re the only woman I will ever love.”
Channing drew in a deep breath as she absorbed what Zane was saying. Although he didn’t love her, he believed that she had the power to make him love her? All he needed was a little push. If that was the case, why hadn’t he fallen in love with her when they were dating? Things had been good between them—the sex, the communication, the entire relationship. He hadn’t been ready then. What would be different this time around?
She drew in another deep breath, deciding to call him out on something he’d said yesterday. “When you said you loved me, one of the reasons you claimed you didn’t act on it was because you were afraid. What did you mean by that?”
Zane held her gaze for a long time, then in a quiet tone he said, “Let’s sit down while I try to explain things.”
She stared at him a second before nodding. What he was about to tell her was the complete truth. He hoped it would help her understand him. When she led him into the living room, he followed. She eased down on the sofa, and he took the chair across from her.
Channing sensed by the firm set of his chin that whatever Zane was about to tell her was a serious matter. He was sitting in the chair, stiff and straight, which indicated that he was not comfortable with what he was about to share. Gone were his familiar coolness, relaxed air and arrogance. Instead, she detected a sense of vulnerability in him—one that was controlled and guarded. Those were things she hadn’t seen in him before.
He was tense, and she could feel the tension, as well. Why? “Zane?”
He met her gaze, held it for a long moment and then he asked softly, “Can you imagine losing both your parents at the same time?”
Channing’s pulse almost stopped. She swallowed deeply as she truthfully answered his question. “No, I can’t.”
He nodded slowly. “Well, I did. I was only nineteen and in my second year of college when it happened. But not only did I lose my parents. I also lost my uncle and aunt, who were like parents to me, as well. From that day forward, my life hasn’t been the same.”
Channing didn’t say anything. Because of her friendship with Megan, she knew the story of how his parents and his aunt and uncle had lost their lives in a plane crash. She’d also known there had been several Westmoreland kids under the age of sixteen at the time and that Zane’s brother Ramsey and his cousin Dillon had worked hard and made sacrifices to keep the family together.
“There wasn’t a whole lot of time for grieving since we had to all pitch in to help the younger ones cope. It wasn’t easy. A few of them worked through their grief by being rebellious, which caused unnecessary drama for all of us. But the one thing I decided never to do, because of that experience, was to get attached to anyone who I could lose in that way.”
After a deep breath, he continued. “I loved my parents, and losing them was hard on me. The pain was deep—almost unbearable at times. Unless you’ve been through something like that, you can’t begin to understand.”
Channing believed it. She could hear the pain in his voice and could also see it in his eyes. “Is that the reason you can’t fall in love, Zane? For fear of losing that person?”
“I thought so, but when I thought I had lost you after that night in McKays, for the first time I felt like I could take the risk. The risk of loving you was greater than the fear.”
So he thought he could be pushed into falling in love with her, she surmised, because she was the first woman he had felt so strongly connected to that the positive emotions overrode his ingrained fear. Was his admission enough for them to move forward and try again?
Could she actually push him into loving her?
What he was asking went against everything she’d ever read in relationship books. A woman couldn’t seduce a man into loving her. It took both people to make a relationship work. Was she missing some point here? Had she failed to take into account that all relationships weren’t the same? Had she been so focused on what she’d wanted out of the relationship that she’d refused to see that he couldn’t be rushed?
Zane had been a psychology major while in college and was rumored to have the ability to get into a woman’s psyche and fully understand how females perceived their world. If that was the case, maybe it was high time for a woman to determine how he perceived his.
For nine months, they’d shared a traditional relationship. They had met, shared great chemistry, enjoyed mind-blowing sex, found it easy to communicate with each other and had a good friendship. No game-playing and no pressure. Yet in the end, love hadn’t blossomed...at least not on his end.
But what if he doesn’t fall head over heels in love with you? Well, if that happens, at least you’ll have no doubt in your mind that he has issues that can’t be solved. There is a slim chance that what he says is true, that he’s capable of falling in love with you.
Are you willing to do whatever is necessary to find out? Even if it means putting on those rose-colored glasses and unlocking your heart again?
He stared at her with his mesmerizing eyes. Heat pooled between her legs because of his intense focus. The idea that he was asking her to help him fall in love was too much to take in at the moment. But if he hadn’t fallen in love before because he’d been afraid to love, could she help erase his fears?
“Go out with me tonight, Channing,” he said, his words floating across the room and touching her skin like a caress. “I understand there’s one of those drive-in theaters around here.”
When she parted her lips to turn him down, he held up his hand. “Before you say no, just think about what fun it might be. I haven’t been to one in years. I remember my folks would pile us all into their car, and it was great. And guess what? It’s John Travolta Night. Saturday Night Fever and Grease are in the lineup. I know how much you like the guy.”
He was right. She was a big John Travolta fan. There wasn’t a movie he’d made that she hadn’t seen. “John Travolta Night?”
“Yes.”
She knew that accepting his invitation to the movies meant she was accepting his challenge. Was that something she wanted? Should she turn him down and ask him to leave and not come back?
No, she couldn’t do that. Doing so would be giving up on him, and if there was a possibility—even a slim one—that he was on the verge of falling in love with her, then she wanted to see it through. Who was it who said if you wanted something badly enough it was worth fighting for?
But this time if she wanted to do things differently, she had to shake up their routine.
“Yes, I’ll go to the drive-in theater with you, but you can get rid of the condoms. I won’t be having sex with you.”
“You won’t?”
“No.”
Zane didn’t say anything while he thought about her request. Evidently she was still trying to understand this lust-versus-love thing. That was fine, because he would show her that his love encompassed everything—both the physical and the emotional. Besides, they wouldn’t be having sex because they’d never had sex in the first place. They’d always made love, and it seemed he needed to show her the difference.
“Okay, Channing, we won’t have sex.”
As soon as he said the words, he saw what seemed to be anxiety leave her gaze. She stood. “I’ll walk you to the door now.”
He stood, too, and followed her. When they reached the door, they faced each other. Zane stroked Channing’s hair while her gaze locked with his. How could he not have known the depth of his love for her before now? Why had it taken losing her a second time to make him realize that he could not handle losing her again?
“I’ll be back around six.” Deciding to give her something to look forward to, he leaned toward her, placed his hands at her waist and said in a soft, husky tone, “Go ahead and try it now, Channing. Push.”
“I don’t think—”
“Push,” he encouraged again.
He heard her soft sigh and then a whisper when she said his name. “Zane.”
When she boldly licked the tip of her tongue across his lips his breath caught and heat settled in his groin. He inhaled deeply and discovered her scent was as erotic and sensual as ever. Channing’s unique aroma had the ability to drive him crazy... It was doing so now.
“You want to be pushed,” she whispered across his moist lips. “Then you’re going to get just what you ask for. When I finish with you, your heart won’t be the same, Zane.”
He had news for her. It was already different, and he would take great pleasure in proving it to her. When she took a step back and reached out to open the door, he reminded her, “I’ll be back around six.”
“Okay.”
He walked out of her door knowing any moves he made on her would be the most important ones of his life.
His campaign would begin tonight. Already his mind buzzed with ideas for ways he could make the evening unforgettable.