Well, what was I expected to do? I’d already admitted that I found Max hard to resist, and to be honest my curiosity had got the better of me. What was it that he might tell me? Part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to put myself through the agony of hearing all about his lovely girlfriend and yet the other part was desperate to know all the details; how long had they been together, where did they meet, what did she do for a living, what was her bra size? He’d been quite content to tell me about Nadine, his long-lost French girlfriend, and while that had been interesting, she was very much in the history category. Sasha was much more fascinating to me, being in the here and now category, but what was stopping Max from being so forthcoming about her? He’d probably come up with some far-fetched excuse as to why he’d omitted to tell me about her in the first place, how it had conveniently slipped his mind and, if I was being truthful, I was looking forward to seeing him squirm.
Indoors, I warmed my hands against the Aga before putting on some milk to heat up for a hot chocolate while Max took up my offer of a glass of red wine. We took our drinks and sat on the squishy sofa next to the Aga. He’d positioned himself with his back against the end of the sofa, his legs gently splayed, his arm laying casually along the top of the cushion, looking directly at me. Eek. The gorgeous underwear model had put in a reappearance. My heart pitter-pattered. I curled my legs up beneath me and backed myself into my end of the sofa. There was nowhere for me to look, other than into the deep dark gaze of Max’s eyes. I gulped. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all. Inviting him into my home. My entire body prickled with anticipation. I couldn’t make up my mind if it was an enjoyable or terrifying sensation.
‘Great night, wasn’t it? At the pub?’ I said, eager to fill the simmering silence.
‘Oh yeah, Eric certainly knows how to put on a good “do”. Unfortunately, I didn’t get there till late, but I’m glad I caught the band. They were great.’
‘Yeah, brilliant,’ I gushed, sounding like an overexcited teenager. ‘Lovely to see Eric on such good form too – he really is the heart and soul of that place.’
‘Yep, and sounds as though things might work out at the pub for him after all.’
‘Hmmm, well I hope so, but we don’t really know what will happen yet.’
‘No, but we can be cautiously optimistic, I reckon. Always pays to be positive. No point in worrying about what might happen until we know for certain what the situation is.’
That was easy for him to say, it wasn’t his livelihood and home at risk. Eric could have his whole world upended in a matter of months, so he wouldn’t view it in the same way as Max. There was every chance I would be losing my job too. I stifled a sigh, trying to imagine what that might be like. It would be a real wrench to leave the pub. I’d miss seeing all my lovely customers every day, hearing all their news and keeping up with the village gossip. Aside from missing out on the social side of my job, necessity meant I would need to find another gig pretty quickly to make up the shortfall in my monthly income. But jobs, especially part-time ones, were hard to come by in the area. My best bet might be to expand my fledgling business with dog-training classes or agility groups. Both things I’d considered in the past – a couple of my doggy clients had already asked if I could provide these services – so maybe now was the time to consider it seriously. Or perhaps all of this was a sign from a higher celestial power telling me that I should go back to London after all. Do the job that I’d trained so long and hard for. Wasn’t that the sensible solution?
‘It isn’t always easy to be positive when you don’t know what the future holds,’ I said, putting my thoughts into words.
‘Quite the contrary. It can be exciting.’ He flung out his arm with a flourish. ‘Sometimes change is good for us. Helps us to grow as individuals.’
I raised my eyebrows doubtfully. ‘Hmm, are you a life coach or something in your spare time?’
‘No.’ Max laughed, his smile lighting up his face, reminding me, if I needed reminding, that I had an extremely good-looking and sexy man sitting only inches away from me. Breathe Ellie, I told myself. ‘Just trying to put a positive spin on things, that’s all.’
It was hardly surprising that Max had such an outlook. He was an entrepreneur; a property developer and a business man to boot, obviously extremely successful at what he did. Was it so easy to be positive if you were wondering if you would still have your job at the end of the month or if you’d be able to pay the rent? I doubted it somehow.
I stretched my hands above my head unable to stop a massive yawn from taking over my body. It had been a long day and the sofa was way too comfy. My eyes were heavy and those couple of beers and now the hot chocolate had provided the most delightful soporific effect. Max looked at me through narrowed eyes and picked up on my not-so suitable hint.
‘Look, I just wanted to clear the air between us. I know things have been a bit awkward ever since that trip to France and I’m guessing that’s mainly down to me, what happened in the hotel room.’ He raised his eyebrows, a smile resting on his lips.
Awkward? There was me thinking he’d been totally cool about the whole situation and I’d managed to keep my embarrassment and humiliation to myself. Obviously not. And now he’d hinted at that moment, that kiss, that nearly so much more moment. And all that humiliation was rearing its head again.
‘Look, I’m sorry too, but had I known you had a girlfriend, there was no way I would have allowed it to happen. Not that anything happened, but… that kiss thing, the smoochy business, I got the wrong idea, that was all.’
‘No, don’t apologize. It’s me who should be apologizing. I suppose it was a heat of the moment thing, we both got carried away and then, well, I thought of Sasha and…’ He shrugged, his voice trailing away. ‘I handled it badly.’
‘Yes, well I’m glad you remembered, just in time, eh?’
I had to be thankful that I wasn’t his poor girlfriend. I wondered if he made a habit of going round getting into intimate clinches with strange women and then suddenly, at the last moment, having an ‘oops’ moment and remembering he was already in a relationship. What was it Kirk had called him? Yep, he was definitely one of them.
Max had said his piece, regurgitated the whole sordid business and hopefully he felt much better for it. I wasn’t certain that I did, but at least he might leave me alone now safe in the knowledge that he had behaved honourably, right at the last minute. Only now he was looking incredibly at home on my sofa, showing no sign of making his exit, and judging by the expression on his face, finding something incredibly amusing.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘What you said? The kissing thing, the smoochy business, that’s been a bit of a problem for me, you see.’
I swallowed hard. He’d obviously been feeling much guiltier over Sasha than I’d thought. ‘A problem?’
‘Yeah, a really big problem.’ His gaze didn’t leave my eyes. ‘Has it not been a problem for you?’
‘No, no, not at all.’ For some reason my arms were doing their own thing and waving around in front of my face. ‘I mean it happened, obviously, and we can’t do anything to change that, but we’re both old enough and daft enough to put it down to experience. Just one of those things. How about we don’t say another word about it?’ I held a finger up to my lips.
‘But I can’t stop thinking about it. That’s the problem. All the time it’s there. Taunting me, reminding me.’
‘Oh…’ What was it he was trying to tell me?
There was a pause, a long lingering pause, full of hidden meaning, I suspected, although what that hidden meaning might be, I had no idea.
‘Sasha and I have finished.’
‘What!’ Whatever I’d been expecting it hadn’t been that. ‘You have?’
He nodded and I wasn’t sure if I should commiserate or congratulate him. Ignoring the fillip in my chest and putting my own feelings to one side, I remembered my manners and how lovely Sasha had been, and realized I should at least try to sound suitably sympathetic.
‘I’m sorry about that. Really sorry. Were you together long?’
‘About five years. On and off. Although it’s been very on and off for the last couple of years. Sasha’s a lovely girl. We met through work. She’s an interior designer, brilliant actually, and helped me out on a couple of my property developments.’ He paused for a moment, examining his fingertips, and I wondered if he might want to sign me up to the lovely Sasha’s fan club. ‘We have similar interests, mix in the same circles, so I think it was a natural progression for us to take our relationship to the next stage.’
‘Yeah,’ I nodded encouragingly, not entirely sure how I was supposed to react to this glowing character reference. Hang on… Perhaps I’d misheard him, maybe he hadn’t just told me they weren't together anymore. I was having difficulty keeping up with all this. Mind you, how any hot-blooded man could resist Sasha’s charms, I just didn’t know. With her long flowing hair, piercing blue eyes, clear fresh skin and willowy figure she could easily have a second career as a catwalk model.
‘But,’ Max carried on, leaving me musing over that thought, ‘Sasha would be the first to agree with me on this, there has always been something missing. For both of us. We stayed together out of convenience, because it suited us. When I went to London on business I would stay with her at her apartment and she would come and stay with me for long weekends. I don’t think either of us believed it would be a long-term arrangement or that we’d end up together for ever. I don’t know how your relationship with Johnny was, but Sasha and I, we’d fallen into a pattern of behaviour that was comfortable and safe. It sounds really bad to admit it now but nothing was going to change that until something came along to shake us out of our comfortable rut.’
‘Hmm, I guess it was a bit like that for Johnny and me.’ Funny though, I still harboured a few pangs of regret at finishing with him. I missed the closeness and familiarity that came from having someone special in my life, someone who looked out for me and put my happiness above their own. I knew that if I hadn’t said anything to Johnny we would still be together, but he’d moved on now – a bit too quickly for my liking if I was being honest – finding happiness with Polly.
‘It happened, Ellie. Something came along. Something big. And it shook me to the core.’
‘It did?’ I gulped, wondering where he was going with this. Suddenly the backs of my hands became utterly riveting.
‘Yes, why do you think I offered to go to France with you in the first place?’
I started playing with my plaits, taking off the bands and unravelling my hair. Probably not the best idea as I knew it would result in a crimped mess, but I was pleased to let my hair loose from their ties. Besides it gave me some thinking time. I ran my hands through the frizz and shook out the waves, all the time trying to make sense of what Max was telling me.
‘I thought you wanted to help out Eric.’
‘I did, that was a big part of it, but it was much more than that. I was attracted to you from the moment I met you that day in the lane. You must have realized?’ He paused, his gaze unwavering. I shook my head and swallowed hard, my cheeks tingling with a flush of colour. ‘The last thing I expected to come upon that day was this beautiful woman with long flowing hair wading about in my river. I thought I’d stumbled upon a water nymph.’ He chuckled to himself. ‘A water nymph who was having a bad day admittedly, but that only added to the impression you made upon me.’
A water nymph. That was a good thing, right? To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure. Part of me could quite believe all of this was some weird and wonderful dream.
‘I didn’t know what it was,’ Max went on, ‘something indefinable, a connection I found hard to ignore. Each occasion I saw you after that, it was there, an insistent probing that left me wanting to find out more about you.’
‘Really?’ It came out as a squeak, my voice having escaped me. My heart was doing a funny ‘slow, slow, quick quick slow’ manoeuvre inside my chest. I’d experienced similar sensations to the ones Max was describing. I’d put it down to wistful longing on my part, but I’d had to put those feelings to one side, especially when Max had made it perfectly clear he hadn’t wanted to take matters further.
‘Yes! That night in the hotel room…’ he shook his head. ‘You don’t how much self-control it took for me to hold back. I wanted you more than anything, you have no idea, but I just couldn’t go through with it. I felt really bad. About the whole situation. I didn’t want to cheat on Sasha and I didn’t want you finding out about her and thinking badly of me.’
‘I see.’ This very attractive man had just admitted he wanted my body and my body reacted like a teenage girl’s at a One Direction concert. Excitement fizzed around my whole being and a warm surge of desire rushed through my veins. Was I hearing him correctly?
Max stood up and walked across the room. His overwhelming masculine presence filled the air with its intensity. He leant his hands on the kitchen table, lifting his head to the ceiling. My eyes were drawn to his tanned forearms, rock solid on the table. ‘I didn’t want to do anything on the spur of the moment. I wanted to do things properly, if that makes sense?’
Not a lot was making sense. I was beginning to regret those beers and the hot chocolate. I fanned my cheeks with my hand. It was so hot in here. My head was woozy and my body on fire. Looking down at my Bavarian serving wench’s costume, I noticed my bosom trying to escape the criss-cross ties that had been holding everything valiantly in place the whole night. It now looked as though the whole elaborate contraption might snap and burst open at the seams at any moment. As soon as Max glanced away, I did a quick bit of careful readjustment squashing my spillage into place. Not that it made the slightest difference.
‘Part of me thought that if I got home, saw Sasha again, everything would slot back into place, but it didn’t. We struggled on for a few weeks, but we both came to realize it wasn’t working. I couldn’t get you out of my head, Ellie. I was with Sasha, but I was thinking about you. I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to go away for a few days on business. Sasha stayed at the house with the dogs and while I was away, from you, from Sasha, from the house and the village, it gave me the distance and the perspective I needed. I knew that I had to go home and tell Sasha that it was over.’
‘Oh no! But what about Sasha? That’s awful.’ I dropped my head into my hands thinking about Sasha, knowing how I would feel in her shoes. ‘I feel kind of responsible now,’ I told Max.
‘There’s no need. I know it might seem that way, but really this wasn’t your fault. Honestly. Both Sasha and I knew this was going to happen at some time. It was just a question of when.’
This was Max’s version of events. He made it sound so simple and straightforward, but relationships never were, especially break-ups. Where was Sasha in all this? Was she sobbing into her pillow right now? I needed to know.
‘How did she take it?’
He shrugged, a rueful smile spreading across his lips. ‘Funny thing was, I’d geared myself up to tell her, had it straight in my mind what I was going to say, but she beat me to it. When I got home she was waiting for me. All her stuff was packed up and she was ready to go. We spoke about a lot of things, cleared the air and then she mentioned that you’d been round with Amber. What happened. She said how lovely you were.’
‘I thought she was lovely too,’ I said, feeling a pang of sympathy for Sasha. Thinking how, under different circumstances, we would probably have made good friends.
‘Sasha’s always been very perceptive. Has always been able to pick up on my moods and my feelings. I have an inkling she may have realized I’d developed feelings for you.’
Developed feelings for me. The words spun in my head. ‘Oh…’
‘I was pleased though that I could be honest with her. That we could end our relationship still on good terms and with our friendship and respect still intact.’
I smiled inwardly, guessing he hadn’t mentioned the kiss we shared, our almost something more moment. Not that anything really happened. Something of nothing as my old nan would have said. And Max had shown much more self-control than I would ever possess. He had to be admired for that.
‘Well thanks for telling me,’ I said, hugging my arms to my chest.
Max came and sat down on the sofa next to me, much closer now than before and took hold of my hand. It felt strange and natural at the same time. ‘Look Ellie, I don’t want you getting the wrong idea. I haven’t come here to declare my undying love for you.’
Oh! My heart plummeted at the frankness of his words.
‘Well, that might be a bit weird,’ I said, hiding my disappointment.
‘No, nothing like that. I just wanted to explain. After Sasha left I wanted to rush round here and tell you, but it was too soon. I needed to take some time out, wait for the dust to settle. There was unfinished business between us – I wanted you to know what had been going on, that’s all.’
‘Thank you. I did wonder. One minute everything was going swimmingly, the next… Well, it all makes sense now.’
‘Look. Not trying to put any pressure on you at all, but why don’t we go out for dinner soon? Tomorrow? That’s if you still don’t think I’m a complete and utter knobhead.’
Hmmm, he was obviously a bit of a mind-reader too.
‘What do you say?’ he prompted.
What did I say? I wasn’t sure I could find the words. ‘Yippee!’ ‘Oh my god, I’d love to!’ ‘This is the moment I’ve been waiting for!’ ‘What took you so long?’
If my head was struggling to find something sensible to say, my body had no such difficulties, a warm glow of approval trickling through my veins.
‘Lovely,’ I said, trying to keep a lid on my excitement.
Think cool, think calm, think collected. A dinner date, that was all. And it wasn’t as if I hadn’t already been out to dinner with Max. Only this time it would be different. Better. With more of the kissing and smooching stuff. Anticipation bubbled beneath my skin. I sat on my other hand to stop me from flapping it around madly in front of my face. But only for the briefest moment.
However much Max had thought about that night, that kiss, it couldn’t have been any more times than I’d re-lived that scene over and over in my head. Imagined what it might have been like had he not brought an untimely halt to proceedings. Now, with him a hair breadth’s away, his delicious musky scent teasing my senses, I wasn’t about to let him do his disappearing act again. It had been far too long already. Why put off until tomorrow what’s within kissing distance today?
I reached across and held my hand to his face, feeling the swathe of stubble across his jawline. That sexy, knowing smile lit up his features. His head came forward to meet mine, our noses gently brushing, his eyes, dark and sensual, promising a thousand hidden delights. I’d seen that look before but only now could I fully appreciate the meaning behind the intensity of that gaze.
‘Well, Miss Browne, this is a delightful and unexpected development.’ His hand stroked the edge of my face, his touch feather light, his fingers reaching into my hair gently massaging my skin. His voice was rich with amusement and desire. ‘I promise you, I didn’t come here for this, but, if you insist, well I’d hate to disappoint.’
His words sent a warm surge of desire spiralling through my body.
‘Well, as you quite rightly said, there’s unfinished business between us.’
I kissed him lightly, my lips sweeping his, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine, breathing in his intoxicating scent. My body reacted immediately, all my weariness washing away, every nerve ending now awake with desire. My eyes closed involuntarily as our mouths opened together, Max’s tongue sweeping around my lips, teasing and taunting me. His expert kisses were much better, more encompassing than anything I’d ever imagined. We pulled apart, our gazes exploring each other greedily, expectation lighting up our faces as if neither of us could believe this was actually happening.
‘You are gorgeous, Ellie Browne, do you know that? Good enough to eat even. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.’
He pulled me towards him, his mouth searching out my neck, causing me to squeal with delight as ripples of anticipation ran along my body. We laughed as our bodies tumbled across the sofa, our limbs flailing as we giggled our way into a more comfortable position, trying to avoid falling onto the floor with a bump. Supporting himself on one elbow above me, his other hand stroked my hair away behind my ears, his face up against mine, so beautiful and inviting. Soon we were kissing again, more urgently this time, our breathing fast and abandoned. The months since we’d last been together fell away. Max rolled to one side, pulling me even closer to him, his strong firm hands caressing my curves. His body was hard and sensual against mine and when his hand found the bare skin of my stomach my insides melted. Our legs intertwined and we were lost to the moment until…
Hang on – what was that exactly? I lifted my head for air. That noise? An insistent scrabbling coming from outside. Oh god! Burglars? A wild animal perhaps?
‘Coo-ee! It’s only me!’
Startled, I rolled off the sofa and landed on the floor with a thump with Max following shortly behind. From my position on all-fours, I strained my neck to look up. Not a wild animal at all.
‘Hello Mum.’