Certainly, it could have been worse.
The cops considered charging me with killing Clay Burrel, too. But when the headless woman was identified through dental records as his wife, and when my Texas Face-book friend verified that one of Sam Pierce’s last acts as a newsman was to nose around in Clay’s private life. They dropped the murder charges against me.
Benny negotiated a plea bargain in which Toby surrendered to authorities for his part in the wind farm fatality. He was sentenced to five years for manslaughter at the federal prison camp in Duluth, where minimum-security male inmates are housed. He joined a prison program to train dogs for disabled people. Noreen divorced him.
After being sued under the Endangered Species Act, wind farms agreed to curtail turbines on slow wind nights during bat migration season after experiments showed bats were more likely to be on the move then.
DNA tests proved that baby Jimmy was Sam’s child. He inherited two million dollars from his father’s estate. His mother and grandparents are still locked in an ugly court fight for visitation.
The Minneapolis newspaper advertised for a new gossip columnist and received nearly five hundred applications, mostly from unqualified candidates. Then the paper went into bankruptcy and eliminated the position.
Buzz Stolee was traded to the L.A. Lakers.
The Saudis brought a second 747 to Rochester to carry all their spoils back home.
Father Mountain gave a sermon about how, while we all want terrorists and killers to be distant strangers, often the greatest danger comes from those closest to us, whom we would not suspect.
Judge Tregobov sentenced the dine-and-dash thief to pay restitution for his mooched meals and work eighty hours of community service in a kitchen for the homeless.
Channel 3 changed its social networking emphasis from Face-book to Twitter. Employees were ordered to recruit followers and break news by constantly tweeting 140-character messages.
Channel 3’s story about the monarch migration was the highest-rated night of the sweeps month, higher even than the nights viewers were invited to tune in and look an accused murderer in the eye.
The numbers were helped by heavy promotion of Sophie completely covered in orange and black butterflies. A noise startled them and they scattered, leaving her standing in a Mexican jungle, wearing a string bikini.
I was so depressed Garnett promised to take me to see the butterflies for our honeymoon if I married him.
I told him I’d think about it.