THAT NIGHT I SLEPT IN my own bed in Cincinnati. The person I hoped was Jacob Vance wasn't going to call Theresa again until Sunday evening. It would take two days to drive to Flower Mound, Texas, to sit on that pay phone, which meant I could spend Thursday and Friday at home before a two-day drive put me in Texas on Sunday afternoon.
I arrived at my apartment a little before one o'clock in the morning. Albert was already asleep when I dropped my suitcase in my room and hit the pillow harder than I had in a long time.
That night I dreamt of Josh Baker. In the dream, I stood in a lush green field that looked like it should be inside a lawn care company's brochure. Josh stood in front of me. He stood inside a patch of dead brown grass, a perfect circle maybe two-feet in diameter. It took me a moment to realize it was Josh. I'd never seen a clear photo of him. All of the images I had seen in the newspaper coverage were black-and-white photos, each one grainier than the last. The crime scene photos only showed the left side of Josh's face, which was obscured by blood. The etching of his face on his gravestone lacked any detail, so the dream was the first time I got to take him all in. He didn't say anything, only stared at me with a look that I guessed was pity.
A tall man stood next to Josh holding his hand. I tried to focus on his face to make out the detail, but I couldn't. I looked straight at him but I couldn't describe a single feature on his face. The only thing that stood out about him was the ground beneath his feet. Unlike Josh's brown patch, this man stood in the same lush green grass as the field in front of me. I stared at the man, but the more I tried to look at him the harder it became to focus. His face was like a floater in your eye—the moment you try to find it, it darts to the side. I waited for Josh to say something but he didn't. He only stared at me. After a moment the man placed his palm flat on the top of Josh's head, as if indicating that our brief time together was over, and I woke up.
I walked in on Albert making eggs in the kitchen around nine o'clock in the morning. He hadn't heard me come into the apartment, and by the way he jumped back and grabbed a kitchen knife I knew I had startled him.
"Jesus Christ, son."
"Did I scare you?"
"Not you exactly. Just your beard." He turned back to his sizzling skillet. "It's like a face fungus or something."
I ran my hands down the side of my face. I did need a trim. Not a shave, but a trim.
"You know what would look good with that beard?" he said.
"What's that?"
"A red flannel shirt and a sharp axe."
I laughed and poured a cup of coffee.
"When you get back in?"
"Late last night."
"Still in West Virginia?"
"I was. I need to be in Texas by Sunday night."
"What's in Texas?"
"One of the guys I'm looking for."
"One of? How many people are on your list?"
"Just two," I said.
"How long you going to be there?"
"Not sure, but hoping not long."
Albert scooped his eggs out of the skillet and slid them onto a piece of toast. He pointed to the range. "You want me to leave this on?"
"That depends. We out of eggs?"
"Yes," he said.
"Then no."
I followed him to the table and sat down with my coffee. "How's Brooke and Becca?"
"Good. She's dropping Becca off tomorrow night. We're going to do Dewey's for pizza." He took a bite and pointed his egg sandwich at me. "You said you have to be in Texas on Sunday, so that means you're here for a few days."
"I'll leave first thing Saturday morning."
"Good, then you can come with us. Brooke was going to join us. Hope that's okay."
"I don't have a problem with it."
He wiped his chin with his hand. "So what's going on with you two? Am I going to need to find a new place to live?"
"Why would you need to do that?"
"Figured if you two got back together you wouldn't need your old man helping around the house."
"First off, you don't help around the house. You eat all the eggs and make weak coffee. And second, why am I the only one who isn't part of this getting-back-together conversation? We haven't really talked about it."
"She mentioned it to me the other day. Asked what I thought about it."
"What do you think about it?"
He shrugged and shoved a bite into his mouth. "Don't much matter. Course it would be good for Becca. She'd get to live with her parents again."
"I don't know if that's a good thing or not. The last thing I want to do is put her in a position to see the cracks form again. Sometimes it's better to have a strong splintered family than weak whole one." I sipped my coffee. "Guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
THE NEXT NIGHT WE FOUND our usual table at Dewey's Pizza and burned the roofs of our mouths on the best pizza in Cincinnati. Becca and I have had dinner there every Friday night since Brooke and I split five years ago. Albert joined us once we moved in together. Consistency didn't show its face much in my line of work, but Becca's weekend sleepovers and dinner at Dewey's on Friday night were anchors in an otherwise tumultuous sea. I already felt like garbage having to miss out on Becca's sleepovers until I wrapped the Baker case, and if I had a chance to make our standing Friday night tradition I was damn sure going to take it.
Brooke joining us was different. Albert had suggested it, and given Brooke's recent breakup with Dr. Dickhead, I figured she could use the company. Brooke and I exchanged casual conversation and awkward glances throughout the meal. Albert must have sensed Brooke wanted a minute alone with me, because as soon as the waitress exchanged the aluminum pizza tray for the bill he suggested he and Becca visit the patio to watch the koi in the pond.
"Did you think about what I said the other day?" asked Brooke. "About spending more time together?"
"Hard not to think about it, but I get the feeling this is some knee-jerk reaction to you leaving Daryl. Not much has changed in my life and all the reasons you left me and ran for the hills are still in play."
"I did lay it on pretty hard didn't I? About your job and not knowing if you'd come home at night."
"I seem to remember something about me getting shot and bleeding to death in an alley." I patted my chest searching for bullet holes. "So far, I've only got holes where they're supposed to be."
She laughed. "Let's hope that streak continues." She reached for the check but I grabbed it out from under her fingers.
"What is it that you're looking for Brooke? What's going to make this time different?"
"I don't know. I've had a lot of time to think about the decision I made and I'm not sure it was the right one."
"I can't shake the feeling it's all going to come crumbling down again."
"So what if it does? What's the worst that could happen?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe we break a little girl's heart again. That's enough to make me wary.”
She nodded. "Then maybe we ease into it. See if it works. That's all I'm asking."
I slipped three $20s inside the black wallet with the bill. "I don't plan on changing my line of work. This is what I do and I'm happy doing it."
"You still plan on hanging out with shady people who like to shoot at one another?"
"It probably sounds corny and stupid to you, but I like the feeling of helping people who can't help themselves."
"Corny, yes, stupid, no. Look, you don't have to sell me on it. I know you wouldn't be doing this…" She waved her hands in the air. "Whatever this is if it didn't mean something to you. I guess I'd rather live with you and your job than not be in your life."
"I have to go to Texas tomorrow morning and might be gone for a while. It'll give me some time to think about everything. Let's chat about it when I get back."
"Sounds good to me. I'm not going anywhere."
The waitress collected the cash and I told her to keep the change. Albert materialized a moment later with Becca, who wore a wide smile.
"Why is it you always disappear when the check comes?" I said.
"Just a coincidence."
Becca clinched her teeth together like she was trying to hold back a secret that was trying to get out. "Papaw fed the fish some M&Ms. They swallowed them whole."
Albert gently elbowed her in the side, as if she had spoiled the twist ending to a movie.
"I don't think fish are supposed to eat M&Ms," I said.
Albert shrugged. "They fell out of my pocket."
Becca giggled.
"Right. Well, I think it's time to wrap this up."
We retuned to my apartment and spent the night playing board games and watching a Disney movie. At one point I turned to see Albert, Brooke and Becca laughing at the television. We almost looked like a family again, something I hadn't seen in a long time. After the movie I tucked Becca into bed and walked Brooke to the door. She kissed me, then walked down the breezeway clutching her coat tight around her.
I climbed into bed and closed my eyes and thought about my trip to Texas in the morning.