Chapter 23

Impressionable Teenager

It is very late in the night, and Gretel is driving me absolutely crazy.

I watch her from the edge of Mom’s bed. She has not slept a wink.

Sometimes, when our neighbors have a party, Gretel will listen to the unusual sounds and get very agitated. Tonight, she is the same way, but I don’t hear anything, so I’m not sure why she’s worried. She occasionally jumps to her feet, listening. Sometimes she whimpers, and turns in a circle. There is something making her very uneasy.

Mom scolded Gretel and told her to settle down. So she is trying to lie still. But her eyes are wide-open and her ears are straight up and alert.

I give up on trying to sleep on Mom’s bed and go out to the dark hall to sit overlooking the balcony. It’s quiet and peaceful. I am lying on the hardwood floor, half-asleep, when Victoria’s door opens.

Two eyes look out from the darkness and then a face emerges, pale as the moon. My heart skips a beat when I see it is Aidan.

He is wearing a T-shirt and his jeans. He tiptoes over to the bathroom and shuts the door. I notice that he does not turn on the light. A moment later I hear a flush and Aidan once again makes his way across the hall, his socks gliding on the hardwood floor.

I get up, shocked, and follow him into Victoria’s bedroom. He closes the door behind me. Pulling up the blanket, he climbs into her single bed beside her.

“Anyone see you?” Victoria whispers.

“Nah. Just the psycho cat.”

“Aw.” She giggles. “Lily caught you.”

Aidan is still sitting up. “Vicky, I should go home. I should sneak out now. Someone’s going to see me in the morning. I’m going to have to pee again.”

“Noooo.” She grabs a handful of his T-shirt. “Stay. Please. Stay.”

“But, Vic.” He brushes his hair back from his forehead. “I don’t know. I mean, I feel like we’re taking advantage of your mom.”

Victoria now sits up. “So my mom gets to have her boyfriend stay over, and I don’t? Who’s comforting me?”

Aidan stares at her, mouth slightly open. More and more, I have noticed that Victoria is asserting herself. And starting to win arguments.

I start to realize that since Dad has moved out, Victoria has become increasingly interested in getting Aidan to come over, to stay here, to pledge his loyalty to her. Although I don’t know enough about human behavior to say for sure, perhaps she feels Aidan can take the place of Dad as a man who is devoted in whole to her best interests. Aidan is hardly a man yet, but that is what he will be very soon. While he acts contrary and difficult much of the time, that may be exactly what she likes about him—Aidan rejects other people, but not her. Never her. Aidan’s constant attention might be preferable to Dad’s increasingly distracted manner.

“Yeah . . .” Aidan squints, and rubs his jaw. “I guess that’s true.”

Victoria slides her arm around his waist, and leans into him. “Lie back down. You’re fine. Nobody knows and nobody cares.”

“Okay,” he whispers. But even when he lies down, Victoria’s head on his shoulder and a smile on her face, I can see him staring at the ceiling in the darkness. I get the impression he’s uncomfortable being here.

When she squeezes his arm, his eyes finally relax.

“You’re bad,” he finally says. “You’re a bad influence on me.”

“Yes, I’m a bad influence. Look, all we’re doing is sleeping. Nothing’s going on. You’re being an angel.”

“Yeah, but your mom doesn’t know that.” He turns toward her. “Vic, are you sure you can sneak me out of here tomorrow if I stay?”

“Mmm-hmm. Sure.” She runs her fingers through his hair the way that he said he likes. He takes in a deep breath. By the time he has exhaled, it is clear he cannot leave. He will not.

Something in my little heart jiggers and loosens and breaks off from the hardness that has encased it for so long when it comes to Aidan. I realize it is time for me to accept him. I think Victoria really loves him, and he’s not going anywhere. He’s not Charlie’s bully. There may be hope for him yet. He’s just very lucky that my sweet Victoria has taken a liking to him.

I am now stuck in Victoria’s bedroom because the door is closed. So I plop down on the floor for a while. But I can’t relax. Finally I climb up into the beanbag chair and knead my claws into it, which calms me. I nap on and off until the first rays of dawn start to lighten the room.

At one point, Aidan stirs. He curses and rubs his eyes. “Jesus,” he whispers, although Victoria is sound asleep. “I told you I’d have to pee again. Goddamn it.”

He forces himself up and clumsily climbs out of bed. Staggering across the room, he hesitates before leaving the room. His hand on the doorknob, he listens for movement.

Nothing.

I pad across the room to watch him slide in his white socks across the hallway to the bathroom. He barely makes a sound.

I find myself rooting for him. I hope Aidan makes it. Because if anyone does see him, I think he will be in very big trouble. Mom will be furious. And she will tell Dad, who will be even angrier.

And then—just when I think he is home free—Charlie emerges from his bedroom, eyes sleepy and hair askew. It is very early, and the hallway is still dark. Charlie is wearing his striped pajama pants and no shirt, and he yawns. When he hears the toilet flush, he folds his arms across his body and waits.

When Aidan emerges, Charlie startles something fierce. He puts a hand right over his own mouth. But he makes no sound.

Aidan sees his opening and puts a finger over his lips to shush him. Charlie nods, wide-eyed. Aidan points his thumb toward the bathroom to indicate that Charlie can go in. Charlie scurries in and closes the door behind him.

I watch Aidan disappear back into Victoria’s room, shaking his head.

When Charlie comes out of the bathroom, Victoria is there waiting for him in her oversized white robe. She throws an arm around Charlie and steers him right over to her bedroom. I am quick to follow, and she shuts the door behind us again.

Aidan is sitting on the bed, looking worried.

“Charlie,” Victoria whispers. “Look. Aidan just stayed over and it’s no big deal, okay? I’m sorry if he scared you.”

Charlie’s forehead creases. “Vicky. He’s not even supposed to be upstairs, never mind stay here all night. Mom is going to kill you.”

“She doesn’t know.”

“And she never will, if you don’t say anything,” Aidan chimes in.

Charlie looks from one to other. I imagine he is weighing his options.

Charlie! Use this opportunity to get something out of these two. They are going to owe you.

But my innocent Charlie doesn’t say anything. His mouth hangs open. He’s shocked. “Are you crazy?”

Victoria sits on the bed right next to Aidan. “No. Charlie. Look. Nothing is going on. Aidan’s got his clothes on. We’re not doing anything. He’s just sleeping here.”

Charlie makes an expressive face to show he doubts this is true.

“Look,” Aidan says. “Buddy. Thursday nights are my mom’s night off, and she had a few friends over. They’re partying. I knew they’d be there all night. And I didn’t think it was a healthy atmosphere for an impressionable teenager like myself.” His face remains expressionless, but I think he is making a joke. “So I got out of there. I was going to go to my friend Mike’s house for the night, but then I was already here, so . . .”

“C’mon, Charlie. Please. Just give us a break. Just give me this one thing. Don’t say anything to Mom.”

Charlie folds his arms across his bare chest. “Wow. Okay. All right.” He looks down at his feet before glancing back up at Aidan. “Your mom had some friends over, huh? I guess I understand. I mean, I get why you’d want to leave.”

Well. This is interesting. Aidan is the reason Charlie has fled from our house in the past. Yet now he’s giving permission for Aidan to take shelter here.

I hope Aidan sees how generous Charlie is. But that may be too much to ask for.

Victoria reaches out and grabs Charlie’s hand. She pulls him so he sits down beside her on the bed. “Charlie. Come talk to us.” She points to a red mark by his collarbone, barely visible in the glow from her nightlight. “Who is doing this to you? Can you please just tell us, so we can help you? It’s making me sick. And angry.”

“Vicky. It’s nothing. It’s not important. I’m fine.”

“Buddy.” Aidan leans forward to make eye contact with Charlie. “Is it your dad? It’s really okay to tell us if it’s your dad. I know he gets drunk sometimes. My dad used to hit me once in a while, before he moved out. I am totally judgment-free on this one. I didn’t tell anyone either. I would understand.”

Charlie’s bottom lip starts to quiver. “Dad?” he asks in a small voice. His eyes fill with tears and he doesn’t look at Aidan. Instead, he searches Victoria’s face. “You really think it might be Dad? Our dad?”

“I don’t know, Charlie,” she answers, all in a rush. “No. Definitely no. That is, I don’t know. I’m just trying to figure it out. I mean, I don’t know if Dad likes . . .” She stops short. “I wasn’t sure how he felt about your hair, and the clothes, and whatever. He just hasn’t said anything to me. I mean, he never talks about it.”

Charlie bows his head. “It’s not Dad,” he says as quietly as I’ve ever heard him speak, his eyes glassy.

And then he tells a story. It’s one I’ve never heard before.