SEVERAL AGONIZING HOURS ticked by, broken by Elke’s occasional visits to the labor and delivery family waiting room—where Finn had been exiled because Amelia wouldn’t let him be with her—to provide updates. The Hawkins family grapevine hadn’t taken long to kick in, especially as Finn himself had contacted Greg, and now several of his family waited with him. The Hawkinses did take care of their own.
In one of the chairs that dotted the perimeter, Kara focused on the screen of an ebook reader, glancing at him every time he strode past. Derek and Greg, undoubtedly bored out of their minds, sprawled on one of the back-to-back, blindingly yellow couches that occupied the middle of the room, leaving a wide pathway to pace between them and the chairs.
Finn circled the room again. As he rounded the sofa’s corner, Greg stretched out a leg, blocking him.
“Sit down for two seconds, would you? You’re making everyone in here more stressed.”
“If it were Shannon in there, would you be sitting down?”
“That’s different. I love—”
“Pretend it’s a year ago. You barely know her.” Greg and Shannon’s wedding was in a few weeks. “Pretend she’s pregnant with your kid, to save the life of your other kid, and you don’t know what’s going on.”
Derek, a widower with three kids of his own, elbowed Greg. “Leave him alone. One of these days you’ll understand. Pregnancy makes men crazy, too.” He grabbed Greg’s jeans, pulled his leg out of the way. “Pace away, fish.”
Greg glanced past Finn and grimaced. “Uh-oh. Brace yourself. Mom just walked through the door, and judging by the look on her face, your ass is grass, man.”
Finn turned as his mother stormed into the room. He drew a deep breath.
“I figured I’d find you boys here with him. Kara, I didn’t expect you were in on this.”
Kara’s lips moved in protest, but before she could form a coherent word, their mom held up her hand. “Why do you even try to keep stuff from me? Two of my daughters, my daughters with medical skills, both ditched Sunday dinner before it got started. Two of my sons didn’t even show up. Two more of my sons, after receiving numerous text messages—” his mother glared at Derek and Greg. She hated cell phone usage during meals “—ran out like the house was on fire as soon as the meal was over. Leaving all the children for Shannon to deal with, I might add.”
“Mom, I—” Finn began.
But his mother shook her head. “Finnegan Rand Hawkins, what were you thinking? A sperm donor?”
Heat flushed his face. He cleared his throat. “Obviously, you’ve heard the whole story, then.”
“Don’t blame Hayden. He did his best. He wouldn’t answer his cell phone, or the phone at the restaurant. So I went over there. I’ve already met my granddaughter. What Hayden didn’t spill, Jordan did. That poor child is frantic about her mother and the baby. What she’s not saying is how scared she is about herself.”
Finn puffed up his cheeks, blew out the air.
“A bone marrow transplant.” His mother’s voice quavered. Her blue eyes watered.
Finn pulled her into a bear hug. “So you understand why I agreed to a second child with Amelia, right?”
She nodded against his shoulder. “I do.”
“Then I’m forgiven?”
“I didn’t say that.” She broke away from his embrace. “What you did has serious repercussions, Finn.”
Understatement of the year. “Obviously, Mom. Can we save that lecture for later?” Perhaps years later? Maybe for Jordan’s college graduation? “Where’s Dad?”
“Your father decided to stop in the chapel downstairs. He’ll be up shortly.”
That drove the seriousness of the situation home for Finn. That Michael Hawkins, a man of quiet faith, had decided it warranted a visit to the chapel...
Finn sank to the edge of a chair, leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees. The heels of his palms pressed against his cheekbones as he covered his face.
Any minute now he would wake up to discover that the past twenty-four hours, from meeting Jordan, to teaching her how to bake brownies the way his nanna had taught him, to this very moment when the fate of both children hung in the balance, had been just another of his who-is-my-child nightmares.
Any minute now...
His mother eased down beside him, rubbing his back.
The room grew quieter. The weight of his siblings’ stares made the hair on his neck prickle.
From the direction of the doorway, someone cleared a throat. “Finn?”
Bethany. He rubbed his face, then scrambled to his feet. “What?”
At some point she’d donned a white doctor coat over her jeans and soft pink shirt, adding to her air of authority. Adrenaline coursed through him. He wiped his palms across his pants.
His sister jerked her head toward the hall. “A word with you?”
Shithelldamn. What could she possibly want that she couldn’t—or wouldn’t—say in front of the family?
“Be right back,” he told them as he hustled out the door. He followed her a few steps down the corridor before she turned to face him.
“Everything that can go right at the moment is. Gravity has worked in our favor, and the baby has moved back down into the uterus, away from the cervix.”
Finn’s legs trembled with relief. “You couldn’t say that in there? You scared me to death with the top secret stuff.”
“I’m not supposed to be talking to you about it at all, Finn. Privacy laws?”
“I’m the father, damn it.”
“As long as that baby stays inside, where we want him, you have no rights at all. It’s her body, her choices, and you’ve got no say.”
“If he’d been born a few hours ago, and was in the baby intensive care unit—”
“NICU.”
“Whatever. Then I’d have a say?”
“Yep.”
“That sucks.”
“Life often does.” Bethany reached into the pocket of her coat. “But since I’m flouting the rules for you, Beginagain, I figured I’d go all the way.” She pulled out several small pieces of white paper. “Ultrasound pictures. It’s a boy.”
“A boy?” He accepted the glossy sheets from her, turned them in several directions.
Bethany reached over, putting them right side up, and pointed. “Here’s the proof, right here. These are his legs, and this is...well, you know what it is.”
At her fingertip, he could make out two smallish blobs and one larger one. A boy. Amelia carried his son.
Warmth spread across Finn’s chest. Followed quickly by a constriction around his ribs that made it hard to breathe.
“I’m taking her into the OR in a few minutes.”
That didn’t help. He shoved the ultrasound pictures in his pocket. “What are the risks?”
“Plenty. Including the fact that I could accidentally nick the amniotic sac.”
“That would be bad?”
“That would be very bad.”
His stomach knotted. “Okay. Don’t do that.”
“I don’t plan to.”
“Good.” Finn took her arm. “Thanks, Bethy. For everything.”
“Don’t thank me yet. This is only the first step, and the odds aren’t in our favor. But I’m going to do my best.” She gave him a quick hug. “I’ll send word when she’s in recovery.”
“Wait.” He pulled her back. “Can I see her before you take her in?”
His sister shook her head sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Finn. She’s made it very clear that you’re not allowed in there. That’s one highly independent woman. She reminds me a little bit of Shannon.”
“How so?”
“Keeping everyone at arm’s length.” Bethany sighed. “This is going to be really hard on her. A princess who expects people to wait on her hand and foot would have a much easier time.” She patted his elbow. “I have to go. I’ll keep you in the loop.”
He watched her stride down the hallway, calm, confident. In control.
He’d give anything to feel the same way. He’d never felt more helpless in his life, not even when Marianna, his second wife, had filed for divorce. He wanted to do something, anything, to tip the odds in their favor. No wonder Amelia had been so driven to have this second child, to take action of her own to save Jordan’s life.
Waiting around, doing nothing, sucked.
###
Amelia struggled to stay wrapped in the soothing fog of the medication they’d given her. No worries here. No stress. Just peaceful, blissful nothingness.
Vaguely, she remembered being told the operation had gone well. Being returned to the pretty labor and delivery room from the surgical recovery room.
At least she thought she remembered. Maybe she’d made it all up?
The whoosh of the fetal monitor indicated the baby’s heartbeat was strong and fast. Reassured, she let the medication pull her back into sleep.
The next time she surfaced, a man’s voice, low but animated, overpowered the sounds of the monitor.
“...look, kid...” A pause. “Dill. I’m not going to be around much. And given my track record, that could be for the best. But since I’m not going to be around to tell you what to do in the future, I want you to listen to me now. As your father—”
Father? Still loath to wake up completely, Amelia cracked open one eye. Finn sat in a chair at the side of her bed, leaning over her stomach.
Her still nicely rounded stomach.
“—I’m telling you, stay in your room.” He laughed softly. “You’ve got an important job, Dill. You’re a hero before you’re even here. Your sister is counting on you. It’s not really fair, but then, so much in life isn’t. Hard truth to learn before you’re even born. And some people would think it’s a horrible thing, bringing you into the world to save your sister’s life. I don’t know your mother all that well, but I can tell you this—she loves your sister like crazy, and I can’t help but think that means she’s going to love you just as much. Maybe even more. But we won’t tell Jordan that because it would hurt her feelings.”
Amelia’s nose tingled.
Even some parents of other kids waiting for a BMT had taken her to task for “playing God” and having another child specifically to save Jordan.
How could she not do everything in her power to save her? She was Jordan’s mother. It was her duty to do anything and everything she could...because the idea of losing her was too much to bear.
And the fact that Finn knew how much she already loved this new baby... She sniffled.
He jerked his gaze to her face. “Hey. You’re awake? Oh, now, don’t cry. It’s okay.” He reached over to the bedside table, pulled out a tissue and pressed it into her hand. “Dill is doing great. Everything went well.”
“D-dill?” She dabbed at her eyes. It had to be the shock of the surgery, the remnants of the medication, making her so unsteady. So emotional. She struggled to swallow the lump. No crying. Especially not in front of Finn.
She’d show no weakness to the man who, only hours ago, had threatened, however veiled, to fight for the child she carried.
He grinned. “Yeah, Dill. I didn’t want to keep calling him kid.”
“Him?” Clarity began to dawn. She crushed the tissue in her hand. “Him?”
Finn’s grin got larger and his eyes twinkled. “Yeah. It’s a boy.”
“Arggh.” She tossed the tissue at him. It bounced off his ear and onto the floor. “I didn’t want to know that! It was supposed to be a surprise.”
“Oh.” The spark faded from his eyes, and the dimple on the right side of his mouth vanished, calling attention to the five o’clock shadow that stubbled his jaw. “Sorry. I didn’t realize that.”
She sighed. “Too late now. But why Dill?”
One corner of his mouth twitched. “Well...a food nickname sorta came natural to me. Dill pickle? You’re pregnant. What do pregnant women crave?”
“Ah. Okay. Except I don’t crave dill pickles.”
“What do you crave?”
“Potato chip and marshmallow fluff sandwiches on white bread.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Lovely combo. But potato doesn’t have the same ring as Dill. Can’t call a boy Fluff, either. He’ll be scarred for life before he’s born. Chip?”
Someone rapped on the door, and Dr. Hawkins called out, “Amelia?” His sister scowled when she saw Finn planted in the rocking chair he’d dragged over to the bedside. “You’re not supposed to be in here.”
“It’s okay. He’s fine,” Amelia said.
The woman looked skeptical.
“Really. He’s not bothering me.”
Her eyebrows rose. She strode to the fetal monitor to study the flashing display. “The baby looks good right now. Strong heartbeat, you’re not having any contractions. I’m pleased to say we made it over the first hurdle.”
“The first?” Amelia groped for the controls to the bed. Trying to carry on a conversation while lying flat on your back, with people standing next to you, was uncomfortable.
Dr. Hawkins took the rectangular box from her hand just as she found the up button. “No, sorry. You’re not allowed to be upright yet. You have to stay absolutely flat for now.”
“Ugh. Okay. How long is ‘for now’?”
“If everything goes perfectly, I’ll remove the stitches about a week before your due date. You can get up for occasional trips to the bathroom, but—”
“A week before my due date?” The shriek in her voice made Finn wince. “That’s three months! Please tell me you’re joking. And by the way, it’s not a funny joke.”
“Sorry. If you want to keep that baby in there, you need to keep as little pressure as possible on your cervix. Stitches are great, but not enough if you go running around, carrying on life as normal.”
“But...but...” Millions of thoughts, questions, crowded her brain. “I have a practice to maintain.”
“You don’t have a partner?”
“No. I made arrangements with a colleague in the next town to cover my patients when I have the baby, and when I take Jordan to Portland for the transplant, but...” She looked up at Finn’s sister. “My patients and staff are extremely supportive of Jordan and her battle, but my practice might not recover from this much time off.”
“Jordan won’t recover without the transplant, right? She’ll die?”
Amelia blew out a long breath. “Right.”
“You’ve already gone through so much to make her survival possible. You can get through the rest. I’ll be keeping you here for another day or two to monitor everything. After that, I’ll see you once a week. We’ll do an ultrasound at least once a month, more if I think we need to.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Amelia pressed her fingertips to her forehead. “What do you mean, you’ll see me? You said you have to keep me in the hospital only for another day or two. I have an ob-gyn in Maine. You said I have to stay flat on my back, but surely I can get home somehow. Medical transport. Something...”
The doctor shared a look with Finn before stepping closer to the bed. “I wouldn’t recommend it. Air transportation is risky because of the changes of pressure. And a sixteen-hour ride in an ambulance?” She shook her head. “I’d highly advise against it. Too much can go wrong too quickly.”
“Where the hell do you suggest I stay then, Doctor? You’re booting me out of the hospital to where?”
“Finn has tons of room at his place. You and Jordan will stay there, of course. As my brother said, we take care of our own.”
Finn’s shock no doubt mirrored Amelia’s own. His eyes widened. “What?” He shook his head. “No. I don’t—I can’t... I have a restaurant to run and—”
Dr. Hawkins grabbed his arm, dragging him toward the door. “We’ll be right back,” she said to Amelia. “A word in the hallway, Finn.”
Amelia scrunched her eyes shut, shaking her head.
This wasn’t happening.
###
Finn waited for the door to click closed behind Bethany before unloading on her. “Are you crazy? Telling her they could stay with me? What the hell were you thinking?”
Bethany folded her arms, narrowing her eyes. “Exactly what I just said. What you said earlier. The Hawkins family takes care of their own. Don’t you want the chance to get to know your daughter?”
“No. Yes.” He dragged his hand over his face. “Hell, Bethy. You’ve backed me into a corner, haven’t you?”
“That woman is carrying your son. You’d hang her out to dry?”
“They could stay at Mom’s. She’s got plenty of room, too. And she loves to take care of people. Me? I suck at it. Besides, I have a business to run.”
Bethany shook her head. “I never took you for a coward, Beginagain. Or the kind of man who abandons a woman carrying his child.”
“Hey. That’s harsh. I’m not abandoning her. Them. She’s the one who keeps insisting they’re not my kids.” He shifted from foot to foot, then pressed his spine against the wall, glancing down at his shoe. The hospital’s paging system called for a doctor to report to the nurses’ station.
“Jordan’s waiting on a bone marrow transplant. What would Ian think?”
His stomach tightened. He jerked his head up. “Low blow, Bethy. You don’t fight fair.”
She pursed her lips. “No, I don’t. Not where my patients are concerned. And right now, Amelia and her baby are my patients. They need you.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “My performance as a doting husband obviously left a lot to be desired. Which is why my wives left.” He’d discovered the hard way there was a big difference between the fantasy of family life and the reality.
Jordan...and Amelia...deserved better than what he could offer.
“You weren’t in Erie then. But now you’re home. It’s not like you’re going to be on your own. You know we’ll all help. I’ll swing by to check on her at least once a week. Elke will help out. Hayden and Kara are both on summer vacation. You’ll have so much help, you won’t know what to do with it.”
He blew out a long breath. Time to man up. After all, they were his kids. One look into Jordan’s eyes told that truth. She was a Hawkins. “You leave me no choice.”
“That’s the spirit.” Bethany looped her arm through his, heading for the door to Amelia’s room. “But try to muster some enthusiasm, huh? Fake it if you have to. Don’t make her feel worse than she already does.
“It’s settled,” Bethany announced as she gripped the rails of the hospital bed. “You and Jordan will be staying with Finn.”
Amelia opened her eyes warily.
Bethany elbowed him.
“Right. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Amelia arched an eyebrow at them. “Jordan needs regular tests, treatments. Her hematologist—”
“We have hematologists in Erie,” Bethany began. “In fact, we have—”
“If you tell me that another of the Hawkins tribe is a hematologist...”
“No hematologist in the family. But our brother Greg is an art therapist and he—”
“Oh, that will be helpful.” Amelia closed her eyes again. “Maybe he can let me finger-paint as I slowly lose what’s left of my sanity.” The fetal monitor sped up as Amelia’s heart rate increased. “Maybe I can sell the paintings instead of making money as a chiropractor. Yeah, that might work. Forget all that education. I can lie on my back, and someone can hold the paper over my head, and I can pretend I’m Michelangelo. That sounds like a plan.”
“Amelia,” Bethany snapped. “Take a deep breath and look at me.”
She slowly opened her eyes.
“Thank you. Our brother Greg works with seriously ill kids. He’s got close ties to the Children’s Cancer Center here in town. They treat all the bone marrow failure diseases, including aplastic anemia, there. We have connections. We can make arrangements for Jordan right away, get her records sent down immediately, no problem at all.”
Finn forced a grin. “No problem at all,” he echoed.
Caring for a seriously ill teenager and a bedridden pregnant woman, both of whom he barely knew. Running a new restaurant, carving out a niche for himself in the local dining scene.
An unborn son, who’d been stitched into his mother’s womb, and saddled with the enormous responsibility of saving his big sister’s life. Problems?
Nah.
###
With his family dispersed to the parking garage and Elke getting a ride home from Kara, Finn crossed the walkway with Bethany, back to the office building. The excruciatingly long day had given way to evening. Streetlights flickered through the Plexiglas windows that lined the pedestrian bridge.
Inside the elevator, his sister leaned against the wall.
They exited on the ground floor. Finn escorted her to her car.
Bethany popped the automatic locks open. “Finn? One more thing we need to cover. It seems to me there’s some chemistry between you and Amelia.”
She had no idea about the intense chemistry they’d explored in his kitchen so many months ago. Still, physical attraction didn’t amount to a hill of beans. Amelia didn’t like him all that much. She’d made that clear. She certainly wasn’t going to gush gratitude over his coming to the rescue.
“Trust me, Bethany, that woman would be halfway back to Maine already, without so much as a glance in the rearview window, if not for this complication. I don’t think you have to worry.”
She looked skeptical. “If you say so. Let me give you some advice as her doctor. Not only can’t she have sex, which should be obvious—though I’ve learned from years in this business that nothing is as obvious as I think it is—but she’s not to have an orgasm, either. By any means. In fact, I don’t want that uterus to twitch at even the thought of an orgasm. I don’t want her watching reruns of Magnum P.I. if Tom Selleck in his prime gets her hot and bothered. Got it?”
“Got it.” He scowled down at his feet. No sex he’d guessed. Orgasm by other means he hadn’t really contemplated, even though that was the only kind of sex they’d ever had. “Any other aspects about my sex life, or current lack thereof, you’d like to lecture me on before I head home?”
“You want the prevent-pregnancy-and-STDs-always-use-a-condom lecture for old times’ sake?”
“No. I memorized that one years ago. Thanks.”
“And yet you found a way around it to get a woman pregnant, anyway.”
“Night, Bethany. Thanks again. I owe you one.”
“You owe me more than one already, Beginagain, and you’ll owe me even more before this is over.” She gave him a quick hug, then slid into her car. “Chocolate mocha cheesecake is always appreciated.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Back at the restaurant, he found Hayden and Jordan perched on the tall stools at the end of the serving counter of the work island. The video camera sat in front of them. Jordan, toying with the contents of her bowl, set down her spoon when he entered. “How’s my mom? And the baby? Why hasn’t she called me?”
“Both your mom and the baby are fine. She hasn’t called you because she was really groggy from the medication they gave her for the operation. She said to tell you she’ll call in the morning. And she said you’re still grounded for life.”
That coaxed a small smile from Jordan. “Now I know she’s okay.”
Finn peered into her bowl, finding a noxious-appearing concoction. Only a left-behind milky substance clung to the walls of Hayden’s bowl. “What’s this?”
“You’re the chef,” Hayden said. “You tell us.”
“All right.” He grabbed a tasting spoon from the plastic container on the work space. “The usual deal?” Stump the Chef was one of Hayden’s favorite games. One he most often lost. “Yep.”
Scooping up a hearty sample that included several lumps, Finn popped it into his mouth, rolled it across his tongue. After he swallowed, he began, “Vanilla ice cream, chocolate—”
“What kind of chocolate?” Hayden challenged.
“Mmmm...semisweet.”
“Right. What else?”
“Whipped cream, triple chocolate brownies, cheesecake, and...” He rubbed his tongue across the roof of his mouth, searching for the final flavor, something that made sense only to Hayden. “Nutmeg?”
“I thought I’d get you with that one. Damn it.” Hayden glanced at Jordan. “Excuse my French.”
She gave his brother a broad grin and a look of absolute adoration that shot a dart of jealousy through Finn. Obviously Hayden had put the day to good use, bonding with his kid.
Jeez, he was starting to sound like Amelia. My daughter, my kid.
“S’okay,” Jordan said.
“I get a free shot,” Finn reminded his brother. “Assume the position.”
“Free shot?” Jordan asked.
“It’s the only way he ever gets one.” Hayden slid from the stool, turning sidewise. “Go on.”
Finn extended his middle knuckle, made a tight fist, then punched his brother, a former Marine, in the upper arm as hard as he could.
Hayden barely moved.
“Now. Tell me that you fed Jordan something besides a crazy dessert. As a Phys Ed teacher, I expect you to know better about nutrition.”
“It’s summer vacation. And I’m the uncle. I get to do the fun things. I don’t have to make her eat her vegetables. That’s your job.”
Finn punched Hayden’s arm again.
“Hey!” This time his brother rubbed the spot. “That wasn’t fair.”
“Good nutrition isn’t optional.”
“Next time I’ll add some chia seeds. Oat bran. Maybe some broccoli.”
Jordan stuck a finger in her mouth, gagging.
“There you go,” Hayden said. “The kid has spoken.”
Jordan then covered her mouth with her hand as she yawned widely.
“You need to get upstairs, brush your teeth so they don’t rot out of your head after that so-called snack, and get ready for bed.”
The left corner of Hayden’s mouth curled. He gave Finn a covert thumbs-up combined with a quick head jerk. Once Jordan had started up the stairs, Hayden said, “Listen to you. Twenty-four hours into it and you sort of sounded like a dad just then.”
Huh. Maybe this dad thing wasn’t as hard as Finn thought.