Past

“H

annah? Hannah!” I called out to her as I saw her jogging along towards her evening class. Why can’t she hear me? And then I saw it. A guy was standing outside the class venue waiting for her.

He was taller than her, with brownish hair and glasses, but I could not make his features out in the dark. I saw Hannah running towards him. Does she have a guy in her life? Why did she not tell me? I watched her run into his arms and kiss him. Both of them then went hand in hand into their classroom.

“Who was he?” I asked as soon as I heard the lock clicking. Hannah and I live in an apartment right beside the university to save commute charges. “Oh my God! Taylor, you scared me!” she exclaimed as she gripped her chest. “That is not an answer to my question. You are also gripping the wrong side of your chest. Your heart is on the left.” I said with a stern expression.

Hannah avoided my eye as she took off her shoes. She did that when she was guilty. "He is just a friend." "I saw you kissing him; Hannah, do not lie to me." My voice had grown louder when I told her not to lie to me. I hated it when she lied to me. She flinched when I said that. Realizing I scared her, I tried to soften my expression, but I was mad. It is one thing if she hid it from me, but to lie to me? “Okay, fine.

His name is Jacques Frietz. We take the same evening course on linguistics. We have been dating for a month.” A month? Did she hide it from me for over a month? My anger was rising continuously. “A month? And throughout this month, you did not feel the need to inform me of your endeavors?” She flinched again. I did not care anymore. Let her be scared. “I was going to tell you....” “Tell me when, Hannah? A day before your one-year anniversary? Or the day of your wedding? Huh?!” I could see Hannah growing agitated at this point. She was still looking down and fidgeting with her fingers. "Hannah, look at me and answer me!" "BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD BE LIKE THIS!!!" She looked me in the eyes directly and screamed at me.

I was taken aback. I had never seen Hannah like this. She never screamed at me. She never stood up to me. What is wrong with her? Realizing she had yelled at me, her expression turned from fury to shock to guilt. She began fidgeting with her fingers again, but she did not avert her eyes. “What do you mean by ‘I knew you would be like that?’” My voice was dangerously calm now. “Nothing.” “Hannah, I hate liars.” “I....” I could see tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. “HANNAH!” “BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD NOT SUPPORT ME. I KNEW YOU WOULD THREATEN THE GUY AND MAKE HIM RUN AWAY. YOU WOULD SCARE HIM, JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH ALL THE OTHERS. YOU WOULD NOT LET ME HAVE HIM!” I tried to form thoughts, but I could not.

What does she mean by that? “Hannah, but I have always done that to protect you!” She was crying now. I reached my hand out to wipe her tears, but she jerked it away. "Protect me? You robbed me of happiness. Whenever I grew close to being happy with someone else, you stepped in and scared him away. You made me go through heartbreak for your own selfish intent because you, yourself, are alone. If someone took me away, you would be left alone!"

I could not believe my ears. Is that what she really thought? I could see the weight of what she had said settling into her eyes. Tears continue streaming down her face. I felt a wet trail down my face. I felt Hannah's hand touch my face. Was I crying? I let her hold my face. I did not know what to do anymore.

I raised her at the expense of my own life; how could she do this to me? “Taylor, I......” “Go to your room, Hannah.” “I am sor....” “I said, go. To. Your. Room.” I did not want to hear another word from her. She stood there for another five seconds, looking at me. I refused to meet her eyes. She left silently, walking right past me without touching me. I just stood there in the hallway, not moving. I do not know for how long I just stood there.

“Taylor, look at me,” Hannah said to me. We were sitting together at the breakfast table. After going back to my room, I could not sleep a wink the entire night. I saw her face whenever I closed my eyes. Judging from her droopy and swollen eyes, she had not slept either. “Hannah, it is fine. You said what you needed to. I will not get in your way again. You can be with whoever you want. Just keep him away from me. I do not want to be involved with any of your love interests.”

Hannah stayed silent for a while, looking down at her untouched plate of food. “You aren’t mad at me?” she asked in a small voice. I thought about it. Was I mad at her? No. I was not mad at her. I just realized we needed boundaries.

I had been interfering in her life too much. She was not a little kid anymore. She had her own life. She had outgrown me. "I am not mad at you. I understand your point. You are a grown-up now, and you are more than capable of making your own decisions without my interference. I just wish you had told me this earlier, so it did not have to come out in such an ugly way." She looked at me and nodded her head.

She then did something unexpected. She got out of her chair and hugged me. “Are you sure you don’t want to meet him? You might like him. He is very sweet, and he treats me right,” she said as she hugged me. I laughed at that. "You can do whatever you want, but I still will never like anyone who might take you away from me." She just kept repeating ‘thank you’ till I scolded her to eat breakfast.

She continued dating him for a long time. She even met his parents. Everything was working out for them. They were happy. I was happy for her. Then, she got pregnant. Everything began to go downhill from there. They were happy about the pregnancy, but I had my doubts. They moved in together in the last month of Hannah's pregnancy.

Since Hannah could not work anymore, they began to construct a nursery in the backyard of Jacques' home. I still had not met him. I do know what, but something kept me away from him. I did not want to meet him. I did not want to be near him. I did not want Hannah to be near him. I saw how happy she was, so I kept my suspicions at bay.

There was a feeling. It was always there like impending doom. It was never about the people Hannah dated; it was just always there whenever she got too close to someone. Like her life was bound to end in something horrible. With Jacques, that feeling simply intensified. Like this was it, this was the moment, this was what would bring disaster to Hannah.

When Hannah was close to giving birth, the nursery was completed. I do not know what it is, but children absolutely hated Jacques. They would start crying as soon as he came near them. By this time, I had already been living in the countryside house our parents left us. Naturally, Jacques was unfit to take care of the nursery.

Jacques began the marketing process and took care of the finances. The day Hannah gave birth was the first time I met Jacques. He was pacing nervously outside the delivery room. His face was unshaven, and his hair was all over the place. He had placed his glasses on top of his head.

This was the first time I had gotten a good look at his face. He had brownish hair with a sharp nose. His eyes were too big for his small face, yet they formed some kind of weird symmetry with his thin lips. He was handsome in an unusual way. He heard my footsteps before he saw me. He looked up and saw me walking toward the plastic chair placed outside the delivery room.

At first, he just stared; he had no idea who I was. Rightfully so, as we had never been introduced. Then, recognition flooded his features. Hannah and I did not necessarily look alike. But our genes worked in the way we both walked and talked. He connected the dots in his head and moved toward me with a smile. “Taylor, how are you?” He immediately took my hand in his for a handshake. What a weird man. He did not even know me.

How could he just go in for a handshake? “I am well. How is Hannah doing?” His smile faltered at my tone. I knew I was being harsh, but I did not want to have anything to do with him. I felt guilty about not asking him how he was. "Oh, the doctor says it will be a while since it's her first time. They won't let me go in, though, so I am kind of worried if everything is okay." I nodded my head and sat down.

As soon as I sat down, a nurse came running out of the delivery room and ran outside. Another nurse followed him. Jacques stopped this one and asked her, "What is going on? Is Hannah okay?" "Mr. Frietz, there are some complications. We are doing our best. Please step aside and let me through." She did not stop to listen to Jacques any further and left in a rush. I felt my heart drop at that second. I looked at Jacques.

He had frozen on the spot. He kept staring at the spot where the nurse had stood. The two nurses came back running with things and blood bottles in their hands and went straight into the delivery room. I walked toward him. “Jacques, she will be fine. Hannah is strong. She will be okay.” He looked at me. His eyes were expressionless. He simply nodded and sat down.

His glasses were now placed back atop his nose. I was the one who was pacing now. What felt like hours were only minutes. Then, the doctor stepped outside. From his expression, I knew something was wrong.

I looked behind me to where Jacques was sitting, and he had gotten up and was already moving toward the doctor. "How's Hannah?" "I am sorry, Mr. Frietz, we were unable to save your child." "HOW IS HANNAH?!" Jacques screamed at the doctor. I was taken aback. The doctor just told him his child was dead, yet he only cared about Hannah. "Hannah is fine. She is under anesthesia right now, and we will shift her to another room.

You can see her when she wakes up. I am sorry, Mr. Frietz."

He bowed to Jacques and then left, throwing his mask in the bin. Jacques just stood there, unmoving. I moved toward him and stood in front of him. He did not look up. “Jacques.” No reply. “Jacques.” Nothing. “Jacques!”  I shook him. He looked up. He looked straight into my eyes. Then he began screaming. Loud, hoarse, raw screams. Tears flooded his face as he fell to the ground. He screamed and screamed and screamed.

He sat on the ground and wailed. He cried like there was no tomorrow. He wailed for his unborn child, he wailed for Hannah, but most of all, he wailed for the life they could have had. The life where the three of them would have been a family, the life where Hannah would have been a mother and Jacques would have been a father, the life where he would have had a family to celebrate. It was all gone.

So, he sat there, and he cried. I sat down beside him and hugged him. He cried into my shoulder. I could not stop my own tears. We just sat there and hugged each other. Two strangers brought together by grief; does it get more poetic than that?

Hannah had woken up. The doctor called Jacques into Hannah's room. I stood outside. I wanted them to have this moment. They had lost their child, and there was no going back. I stood outside in the hallway. Another family right beside me was celebrating. A baby girl had been born. There were tears and shouts of joy. Life was cruel. It took the child away from Hannah but blessed the same child with someone else.

They were happy; Hannah was sad. It was cruel. I heard the door open. Jacques walked out and motioned for me to go inside. I went into the room to see Hannah lying on her back in a white dressing gown, looking up at the ceiling.

I did not know if she had not heard my footsteps or if she just did not want to acknowledge them. I sat down on a stool beside her bed and took her hand in mine. She then turned to look at me. There was no life in her eyes. It was like the child had also sucked the life out of her eyes. She just looked at me.

She wasn't crying anymore. I squeezed her hand. “Taylor.” “I’m here, Hannah.” “Taylor, you were right. I was not ready for this. You were right to protect me. I was young and stupid, and now I am being punished for not listening to you.” She was crying now. She was hurting so much. I wish I could take the hurt away from her. "Hannah, that is not true. You did nothing wrong. Jacques did nothing wrong.

This is not a punishment for doing something wrong because you are not at fault. No one is. It happened; it was written in your fate. It is not because you loved someone, or someone loved you; it just happened. You deserve love in your life; do not blame and hurt yourself by thinking such intrusive thoughts." I ran my hand through her hair as I said that.

She just looked at me with tears streaming down her face. "Then why is this happening to us? One of us must have done something wrong. Why would it happen to us if God wasn't trying to punish us? Then why? I cannot take the fact that my baby died without reason. Why Taylor? Why? I imagined my life with my child; what do I do now that nothing is there? All I see is darkness."

I just ran my fingers through her hair. I had no answer for her. So, we just sat there while her world fell apart around her. Jacques entered the room at that point. He sat beside me and put his hand over mine and Hannah's. Hannah looked at him and cried even harder. There was nothing I could do for them. I was helpless.

The loss of her child changed Hannah. To a stranger, it would not be obvious, but I knew her too well. She still laughed the same, cried the same, loved the same, but there was a certain darkness around her. She would get lost in her own thoughts quite often. Her mood would randomly shift, and a wave of certain anger would flash across her features. Jacques noticed it too. He asked me about it. “Taylor, has this happened with Hannah before?” I did not know whether I should tell him or not.

This state of hers was familiar to me, yet I had not seen it in ages. But she trusts him, and I should trust her judgment. “It happened once before when our parents crashed. She was like this for a year. Then, randomly, on our parents’ first death anniversary, she was back to being herself. Now that I think about it, I probably should have been more worried because of the sudden changes.” “It’s not your fault, Taylor.

You were a kid left all alone in the world with only your sister to lean on. Of course, you would rather be happy about having your sister back than be worried about mood swings.” I felt a warmth in me for him. I realized he was not as bad as I had initially made him out to be. He just smiled at me and went to sit beside Hannah. Two years passed like this.

Hannah’s mood got better as time passed. Yet, there is one memory I am still unable to forget. She was visiting me in our parents' home. We were sitting together having coffee when she suddenly said, “I used to wonder how people could take another human being’s life, like an actual life just gone, but now, it makes sense.” I stared at her, a bit dumbfounded at her statement. “Hannah, what do you mean by that?” She looked deep in thought when I asked her that.

Then she proceeded to say, "I am not sure, but it feels like human life might not be as precious as we perceive it to be. Like, look at Mom and Dad or my unborn child, gone in a second, and the world moved on as if nothing changed. If life was that precious, I do not think this was how it would work." I was shocked at her statement.

Why is she thinking this stuff? I focused my gaze on her and saw her eyes unfocused. It was like she was in a daze. The daze in her eyes slowly began to lift as she became more aware of her surroundings. She then turned to me and said, “Did I say something?” I was beyond shocked by her behavior. I just smiled at her and shook my head. I had no idea how to help her.

Two years later, Hannah was pregnant again. Hannah and Jacques were very happy. I was skeptical about how happy Hannah was if she was only putting on a show. They had abandoned the nursery when Hannah's miscarriage happened. Jacques felt it might be too hard for Hannah to be around kids.

But now that Hannah was pregnant again, they decided to revisit the nursery plan. It would give Hannah time to adjust to kids, and it would also make her get more comfortable around them. By this time, Jacques had gotten a research grant at the university and planned on permanently moving there for two months. Naturally, he called on me to live with Hannah.

I moved into their house a week before Jacques moved out; he wanted me to get used to things around the house before he left. Hannah was really happy to have me. She once confided to me that she was relieved I was there because Jacques was not the best at being attentive. I laughed at that. I was glad they were happy. The day for Jacques' departure arrived.

The night before, Hannah did not leave his side. Both Jacques and I tried to convince her to go to bed and get some sleep, but she flat-out refused. “I won’t see him again for two months. Let me have this night.” So, I let them be. They watched the sunrise together that night and talked and laughed all night.

I was relieved. In Jacques' absence, I helped Hannah with the nursery. Hannah was only in her first month of pregnancy, so running the nursery with me was not a big deal. There were only five kids yet, but the situation was ideal for Hannah. She was learning more and more about handling children every day. At first, I feared she might not be the best around kids due to her childish attitude, but she proved me wrong. She was doing well.

One of the kids in the nursery seemed to be her favorite. She was a girl. She was bubbly, cheerful, and rarely cried. Her name was Sophia. Hannah took special care of her and treated her like her own daughter. Sophia seemed to like Hannah a lot as well. One time when Hannah was resting, it was time for me to feed Sophia.

Sophia refused to take the bottle from me and wreaked havoc. As soon as Hannah stepped in, Sophia calmed down and drank the milk. The look in Hannah's eyes whenever she looked at Sophia was one of pure adoration. We later found out Sophia had no mother, and Hannah had quite literally become a mother figure in her life. I do not know how I felt about that making Hannah happy. I just watched her from the sidelines.

“You go and sit with Hannah. I will take care of the food,” I said. Jacques was back from the university. Jacques would not let me do everything on my own, and Hannah would not leave his side, so both of them were just following me around the house. "I am glad you are back, but you two are really starting to annoy me, and I am in no mood to yell at a pregnant Hannah and you, who just came back. So don't make me."

At my stern tone, they both finally listened and went and sat down in the dining room. I made grilled chicken with mashed potatoes and grilled vegetables. For dessert, I made apple pie. Once the food was done, I put it on the dining table. Jacques once again tried to get up to help me. "Jacques, this is your last warning!" He instantly sat back down. I loved intimidating people. We had a nice dinner, during which Jacques told us about his time at the university.

“Since Jacques is back, I will leave in two days.” Both of them stopped dead when I said that. Hannah looked at me and was about to say something when Jacques spoke up, "Come on, Taylor, we love having you here.

Hannah was just telling me what an agreeable time she had with you. Just because I am back does not mean you should leave. Stay." Before I could make a counterargument, Hannah began to sob and said, "Come on, Taylor, just stay for me, will you?" I could not say no to Hannah's tears.

So, it was decided I would be staying till Hannah gave birth. I knew Hannah was scared something would go wrong this time around too. I understood her fear. If I brought her a sense of comfort during this time, then I would do everything in my power to make sure that comfort stays.

The day of Hannah's delivery arrived. Hannah was too scared to give birth naturally again. She decided on a C-section. When Hannah was taken into the operating room, Jacques once again began to pace outside, in the hallway, while I was sitting on the plastic chair. I was getting deja vu. I just hoped history would not repeat itself this time. We bided the time and feared every time a nurse passed by, thinking something was wrong again.

I tried to busy myself by reading a book, but I could not focus. My mind kept going back to that day two years ago. My mind also kept replaying Hannah's words about human life being worthless. I was scared. I felt the chair beside me move a little as Jacques sat down. “I am scared,” he said. “I am scared too.” He looked over at me, a bit surprised. "You have never admitted that to me.

Even last time, you were just comforting Hannah and me. You did not express or talk about anything you were going through." I thought about what I was going to say to him. I did not like expressing my feelings to strangers. But Jacques was not a stranger anymore. "You are right.

I'm just not comfortable expressing my feelings. I do not know how to go about it with people. I am scared of people misunderstanding me and, as a result, making me feel worse about it. I guess that's why." Jacques did not say anything. Just when I thought the conversation was over, he spoke up. "You are right about that, but if you do not give people a chance to understand you, they will always end up screwing it up.

Sure, there are going to be people who won't get you even after your best efforts, but the only way we can form genuine connections with people is by opening up to them." I thought about what he said. He was right.

Depending on myself had gone too far. “Do you think she is okay?” I asked him. He just sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I hope so.” After that, we just sat there in silence, lost in our own worlds.

The doctor walked out of the operating room and took off his mask. His body language was relaxed, and I knew everything was okay. Still, because of last time, I was still unsure. Jacques jumped up as soon as he saw the doctor and began to shower him with questions. "Is my Hannah okay? What about the baby? Is the baby okay? Oh, Taylor, I hope they are both okay!" I placed my hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

He visibly relaxed and focused his attention on the doctor. "Congratulations, Mr. Frietz, you have been blessed with a baby girl. Hannah is also doing well. There were no complications. The resident is sewing her up right now. She will be under anesthesia for a while. We will shift her to another room, and you can see her when she wakes up." The smile on Jacques’ face could not be described with words. He was the happiest man on earth. “What about my girl? My daughter?” The doctor smiled at his concern. He was used to seeing it. “The nurse is washing her up right now. We will inform you when you can see her.”

After that, the doctor turned around to leave amid Jacques’ and my bellow of thank you’s. Jacques was now pacing around, waiting for the nurse. It was so different yet the same. Same hospital, same doctor, same pacing, same expressions, yet such different emotions. Who would have thought how fragile human life and emotions could be.

The nurse came out and informed us of the room where both Hannah and the child were. We rushed there, with Jacques being told not to run in the hallway. We entered the room to see Hannah still unconscious. On one side of the room was a small crib. Jacques first went to Hannah's bed and kissed her forehead.

He then slowly walked towards the crib. The expression on his face was so complicated. He was nervous, yet he was happy. He reached the crib and just stared at her. I could not figure out what he was thinking.

He then picked her up in his arms. Everything else vanished from his face. A smile. Just a smile remained. He stared at her like she was his whole world. "I am so scared of holding her. I am afraid I will break her. She is so tiny and so fragile. I am so scared." Tears streamed down his face as he said this. I could not hold in my own tears as I held her in my arms. Everything was so perfect. “Did you guys pick a name yet?” I asked him. He nodded. "Annette. Annette Frietz." She was going to be so loved.

After Annette’s birth, I went back to my house. Even though Hannah insisted that I stay, I knew I had to leave. Now was family time for them. I refused to take up any more space. So, on a Sunday afternoon, I said goodbye to the Frietz family. Everything went by smoothly for another year. They would visit me often in the countryside. Annette was a healthy baby. She cried a lot, but that is what babies do. They cry. The nursery was doing quite well too.

Sophia was growing up healthy. Jacques pulled me aside one day and said, “Taylor, I think something is up with Hannah.” At first, I thought he might be joking with me. But seeing how worried he looked, I knew he was serious. “Why?” He looked around to make sure Hannah was not listening and then said, "The other day, she referred to Sophia as her daughter.

At first, I thought she was joking. But then she kept calling Sophia "Victoria" and saying that she was her daughter. When I tried to take her away from Hannah, she screamed at me and told me no one would take her daughter away from her again. I tried to remind her that her daughter is Annette, but she had no recollection of that ever happening. She got so agitated that she ended up fainting. When she woke up, she had no recollection of creating a scene or calling Sophia her daughter." I was shocked. Victoria? Did she call her Victoria? “Also, who is Victoria?” I looked at him, shocked.

She never told him? “Victoria was the name of our mother.” Jacques then asked, “What do I do? I am afraid of bringing it up in case I trigger a breakdown again. I just do not know what to do.” He ran his hands over his face. Before I could say anything again, Hannah walked over to us. “What is going on here? Why the long faces?” Jacques looked at me, unsure of what to say. “Nothing much. Jacques was just asking me about the finances of the nursery while he was away. Apparently, some of the records are missing. He was asking me if I had another set of records written somewhere.” Hannah just nodded and cuddled Annette in her arms. I was worried for her.

I saw it myself too. I was staying with Hannah while Jacques was out of the city for a meeting. Sophia's dad was a professor who worked at a university. That night, one of the other teachers had thrown a party, and he asked Hannah to take care of Sophia. Hannah was more than happy to do so.

He offered to pay extra, but Hannah refused. "Sophia is a darling. I am going to take care of Annette either way; Sophia won't be a problem. Besides, I want Sophia and Annette to be best friends when they grow up." I had Annette in my lap while Hannah had Sophia in her lap.

We sat together in the living room watching TV. Hannah began humming an all-too-familiar tune. I was shocked. I did not think she would remember. She was very young at the time. "How do you remember that, Hannah? You were very young when Mom sang that to you. In fact, you were just a baby." Hannah just smiled at me. But something was wrong. Her smile was almost.... creepy. “I remember a lot more stuff than you would think, Taylor.” The way she said my name sent a chill down my spine.

She then looked straight into my eyes and said, “I also know when people lie to me. Do you lie to me, Taylor?” Every instinct in my body was telling me to run away. I knew she was my sister, but I did not recognize her. I do not know why, but I feared for Sophia. "How about we switch now? You take Annette, and I will take Sophia." Hannah turned to me with the most expressionless eyes. “Her name is Victoria.” I knew picking an argument with her now would only result in a breakdown. "Okay. How about I take Victoria, and you hold Annette. I think it is time for her to breastfeed." "No one takes Victoria away from me. Not again. Even if it is you, Taylor, I won't hesitate to bring harm." Hannah's voice was calm, dangerously calm.

My own heart was beating at a very fast pace. I did not know how to handle this Hannah. Who even was this? My palms were sweaty. Sensing the unease in my body language, Annette began to cry in my arms. Hannah did not even blink. Her baby crying had absolutely no effect on her. It was like she did not even recognize her. She just kept cradling Sophia in her arms and humming the tune my mom used to hum to us.

As I was about to exit the room with Annette in my arms, I heard Hannah say in the tiniest whisper, "They tried to take you away from me at the hospital. All of them lied to me and said you were dead. But I knew you were not. I knew you would come back to me. I knew you were mine the first time I saw you. You are my daughter, my Victoria." She then kissed Sophia’s head and continued humming.

“Jacques, I fear the miscarriage triggered the emotions she had suppressed when she was dealing with Mom and Dad’s death. I fear for her. We need to consult a specialist before it is too late.” I had narrated the whole incident to Jacques when Hannah went out to run an errand. Jacques listened to me patiently. Then he said, “I will talk to someone at the university. She will know what to do. It is quite alarming that she refuses to recognize her own child.”

It was the dead of the night when my phone rang. My heart stopped right in my chest. I knew something was wrong. I picked up the phone to hear Hannah’s voice. Her breath was shaky. I felt my own breath becoming shorter as seconds passed. “Hannah?” I kept calling her name over the phone. No reply. Just sounds of crying in the background. "Is that Annette crying? Hannah, why is Annette crying?" Still no reply. Please, God, let her be okay. Let everything be okay. “He left,” Hannah said in a barely audible whisper.

Who was she talking about? Jacques? He would never just leave. "Hannah, take a deep breath and tell me what happened." Her cries grew louder. I could no longer hear Annette. “He took her and left. He said I was dangerous to her. He said I would bring her harm. He said this was better for all of us. Taylor, I am coming to you.” With that, the line went dead. I tried calling her again and again, but she would not pick up.

I tried Jacques, but his number was powered off. My heart was beating so rapidly. I had no idea what to do. In an hour, there was a knock at my door. I ran toward it to see Hannah at the door with Annette. Hannah had clear tear tracks throughout her face. I immediately ushered them in.

Hannah had an unreadable expression on her face. “Hannah, what the hell happened? Where is Jacques? Why are you here alone? What do you mean he took her? Who did he take?” I could not contain my own volcano of questions. The anxiety that had bubbled up the past hour just exploded. I had to know. My hands were shaking as I held her.

She was surprisingly calm. My hands would not let her sides go. My nightshirt was wet because of sweat. “He said I was a threat to Victoria. He took her. I do not know where he went. I am going after him. You keep her. I do not want her. Stop imposing her on me.” She harshly pushed Annette toward me and immediately turned around to leave. I ran after her with Annette crying in my arms. She did not look back. Even with my cries, she did not look back. She just got in her car and drove away.