“What does all this really mean to me?”
While making Bleep, I made everyone crazy asking this question over and over again. How do I integrate all this new information into my life to effect actual change? How do I take it from philosophy to experience? When I started this film, I didn’t even know how to spell quantum physics or care much for “spirituality.” I was living happily in my shoe consciousness, bouncing off reality. I think of myself as the “accidental creator.”
In the last four years of working on the film, this book and traveling around the world speaking about it, I’ve come to understand it this way: Emotional addictions (or attachments) seem to connect back to the beginning of everything. I create my reality based on my emotional state, which is a state that I choose because my body has become addicted to the same experiences/emotions/chemicals. Those experiences are wired into my brain based on old experiences, old data.
So how do I get from my emotionally addicted state to a higher state or higher level of myself and from there create new emotions? How do I “own” an emotion? What does that mean?
For me, “owning” an emotion means it no longer has power over me or my choices. I choose my emotional state; it doesn’t choose me. Once I’ve “owned” an emotion, it doesn’t mean that I’ll never have that emotion again. When it comes up, I don’t panic and try to repress it. I don’t let it run havoc over my system. I observe.
“How do I begin—where do I start?” Well, if emotional addictions are where I have been creating my reality from, then I’ll look at those. I try and work on just one, but usually I find that many are interconnected and can be traced to one or two experiences I had earlier in life.
So first I realize I have them—acknowledge them.
The next step is to get beyond the judgment. I found that once I discovered an addiction, I would spend time feeling bad about it, judging myself, and the funny thing is, I would judge myself from my addicted state. Here’s an example: I’m addicted to failure. And I judge myself as not being good enough to get over failure (which is failure!). Ugh! I remind myself that I’m not alone in this problem. Everyone is addicted to something, and everyone, including me, has the ability to change their addictions. But judgment is one of those issues that is wired deep. Guilt and judgment seem to be wired into us from centuries of “morality” being pushed upon us. So even if you think you’re not a judgmental person, it’s there somewhere.
So what do I do?
I spend a couple of days writing down every emotion I feel, every time I feel it and the event that it is connected to. This is an eye-opening exercise. Not that I feel qualified to hand out exercises (oops, failure!), but this really helps me see my addictions. I do this every couple of months.
Once I had a list, I began to interrupt my pattern. Every time I began to feel an emotion that I was addicted to, I would stop and ask these questions:
• Do I really need to go forward with this?
• Who/what does it serve?
• Will this solve the problem?
• Why do I look at this as a problem?
• Will it evolve me?
Answering those questions allowed me the time in observation to begin to see how I can choose my emotional state—to affect my reality in a way that moves me forward. Something else I realized is that there are many layers to emotional addictions. Anger is a by-product of resentment, which is a by-product of failure, which is a by-product of victimization, and so on.
After getting over the “This is impossible, I’ll never resolve this” emotions, I actually saw the fun in it. It was a new experience. Rebuilding myself from the inside out instead of feeling like the outside was building me!
It’s not always the big things or the obvious. You have to look deep and at the very small to lead you to the big (sounds a bit like quantum). I look into my environment—my reality—my people, places, things, time and events. From observing these things, I can see how my addictions have created my reality. I can also see how these addictions continue to manipulate me into certain situations.
Example: At one point in my life, I was late for work every day. No matter how early I got up, or what I did to try and get to work on time, I was late. I always got stuck behind this school bus. Every day it was the same damn bus, which made me feel stressed out and rushed and overwhelmed at work. I felt like I never could get anything done. I was cranky, and everyone would walk on eggshells around me. I was in my midtwenties and had a job that most people would expect an older man to be doing. I had a complex. I don’t deserve this job; I can’t do this; no one respects me. I mean, if I can’t even show up on time, I shouldn’t be here! Now I see that the bus was my own creation to help me fulfill my chemical needs of failure! I had a good laugh over that one.
As I said, I do this every month or so to see my progress. To check in with myself. When I’m conscious of my thoughts, my emotions and I ask my questions, it’s as if I can stop time—go out into the future and sample my possible choices, then make the choice that will best evolve me. Maybe it is my true desire to have that experience.
I also make time to sit every day and consciously create my reality. But it’s not that I sit down and say, “Today I want a million dollars to fall from the sky.” I focus on abundance and allow that my god will bring it to me in a way that will evolve me. Because that is what it’s about—evolving to a higher level of consciousness. Which means that I have emotions and experiences I need to have and then own. By taking the time to observe myself, my reality, my emotional state, I can make choices that will move me along a greater path, instead of just bouncing off the walls and buying shoes.
We have received so many letters from people around the world who have taken this knowledge from philosophy to experience. There are some great stories to inspire you! Here are a few:
