IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME, HERE’S THE TRUTH

I have to admit I enjoyed telling Jared he was reporting to General Kelly from now on. I was even okay with Kellyannouncing on his first day as chief of staff that the president has 100 percent confidence in Jeff Sessions and General McMaster, because what does that even really mean? Itʼs not like a contract. I can fire them both right this second if that 100 percent confidence all of a sudden drops to zero percent.

But Iʼm actually sick of my generals, of all people, trying to make me look weaker, Mattis and McMaster and now Kelly, and also Tillerson, who was like a five-star business general. They say I canʼt rip up the terrible Iran nuclear deal, I have to sign the terrible Russian sanctions bill that ties my hands on making a great deal, I have to slow down on getting the transvestites out of the Army—making it like I need to ask their permission to do anything. Even tweet! Trump doesnʼt ask permission, and President Trump especially does not do May I, pretty please.

The fake media is saying now that General Kelly was so upset when I fired the crazy crooked leaker Comey that he talked about resigning.

No May I for Trump, no Trump May I—which reminds me: the Seven Days in May thing may be real, someone I trust on these things tells me, even though now itʼs August. But maybe itʼs planned for next May? Maybe that’s why they’re making me send more soldiers to Afghanistan?

If anything happens to me, hereʼs the truth, on the record, part of history.