CHAPTER 33
“No need to go into it, Don. But I should say that if you gave off any warning signals, I totally missed them, and I regret that—if indeed that was the case. But after twenty-five years of a trouble-free marriage, at least from my viewpoint, I would have sworn in any court that I knew you better than anyone else on earth. But apparently I did not. That is why it came as such a shock and why it left me so devastated.”
“No, Leanne,” he said, “you are not guilty of anything—even indirectly. I am completely to blame here. I was the one who strayed, who allowed myself to be drawn into an action that I knew to be wrong, that I knew would have dire consequences if it were to come to light.”
Watching the expression of both shame and distress on his face, Leanne suddenly had no taste for anymore mea culpa and she waved her hand, indicating he should stop.
“Enough, Don. We both made mistakes…enough. It’s behind us now.” Then she changed the subject.”What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“I don’t know. So much upheaval in my life. Nothing, I guess.”
“Why don’t you and Jay come here? The kids will be here.”
“You think they want to see me?”
“Why not?” she responded quickly. “As I’ve told them, you are the only father they will ever have. And I, for one, believe it’s high time we had some healing in this family!” She rose from her seat, saying, “The house is already locked up. Have a good night. See you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, Leanne. Thanks.”
“Goodnight, Don. Sleep well.”
“I will.”
He sat thinking how magnanimous Leanne had been to invite him and Jay to Thanksgiving dinner.
Going up the stairs to her bedroom, Leanne wondered if she had been foolish in offering an opening to a reconciliation. Her heart told her it was what she wanted, but her brain advised caution.
Going in her room, she thought back to their early years. Marriage, getting to really “know” one another, how Don always shaved in the morning in just his pajama bottoms. The way he’d acted the first time she told him he was going to be a father. The look on his face—disbelief, excitement—had thrilled her. He had dropped to his knees, his arms around her knees, his head pressed up against her body, hugging her fiercely.
“Oh, my God, Leanne,” he had said, “are you sure?”
“Don, of course I’m sure,” she had said, cradling his head in her hands. She had already checked with her doctor and he had confirmed what she had suspected.
* * *
Leanne was surprised by how much she missed little Jay. In the few nights that she had cared for him, something about him appealed to her. Maybe it was the knowing that his own mother didn’t want him and knowing he did not belong to the only male he saw daily in his young life. She thought back to the love and care she and Don had given to Curtis and Jane.
She recalled the pride she took in seeing them grow and develop into responsible young people. Would having Don and Jay at the holiday dinner table prove to be the beginning of getting her family back again? Or would it further divide them?
The next morning she took care of Jay, bathing and dressing him, feeding him his breakfast. Don took advantage of her help with the baby so he could shower, dress and take Jay’s belongings out to his car.
“You’ve done enough for me, Leanne, and I appreciate it. I’ll grab something to eat during my coffee break.”
“Not even a cup of coffee?”
“Thanks, I’ve imposed on your generosity enough.”
“Okay, but plan to come for Thanksgiving, Don. Please do it for me.”
* * *
Leanne had made up her mind that she wanted her family to be whole again, and she was determined to make that happen. Even if she failed, it was worth a try.
She had suggested that Don leave Jay’s crib, playpen and high chair at her house until later decisions had been made.
“They are not in the way, and when you come for Thanksgiving they will be here,” she had suggested.
So now she was about to “bite the bullet” and call Curtis.
“Hi, Curt, how are you?”
“Hi, Mom. I’m fine. What’s up?”
“Nothing much. I’m expecting you and Jane for Thanksgiving. And Bob, too. He’s not going out to California, is he?”
“No, he’s going for Christmas, to be with his folks.”
“I understand. Curtis, I have to ask you to do something for me.”
“Sure, Mom. What is it?”
“I know you will say no, but I’m going to ask you anyway.”
“Okay, tell me what you want.”
“Your father’s new wife has left him and the baby. He’s getting a divorce…”
“My God, Mom, you’re not going to take him back!”
“I don’t know about that, but I do want to invite him for Thanksgiving.”
“No way! No way!” Curtis’s voice was tight with anger. His mother heard it and was not surprised.
“Mom! You’ve been through enough. Look what he put us, put you, through! Total upheaval for the family, all for someone not worth your little finger! No, Mom, I am not going to sit down to eat a Thanksgiving dinner with that man!”
Leanne controlled her fury at her son’s outburst, although she understood his anger. She spoke slowly and calmly. “That man, as you call him, is your father. You carry his blood that you will someday pass on to your son, and all your ranting and raving will not change that! I know that you children have been hurt, as I have been, but we all, each one of us, has frailties, flaws, imperfections that influence our lives. Listen to yourself, Curt. And if you do, you will realize that your inability to forgive your father points to your own lack of empathy or sympathy to other people. I don’t want that to be a part of who you are.
“As a lawyer, you will be bound to deal with all kinds of human weaknesses. So I’m counting on you to put aside your feelings and come on Thanksgiving. I do understand. I do love you, Curtis. Please, for me, will you come?”
“You’re asking a lot, Mom, but I’ll come. I love you, too.”
“Thank you, son. This means a lot to me.”
When she called her daughter, Jane’s response was much like her brother’s. The same anger, ranting and raving about what Don had done to the family. However, she soon softened a little.
“I do miss Dad. Is he all right?”
When she told Jane that Don’s new wife had left him and the baby to help her father take care of her ailing mother, Jane answered, “Just as well that she was out of Dad’s life. Mother, since you’re doing the Thanksgiving thing, would you mind if I bring a friend?”
“Of course, Jane. You know that’s never a problem. Always happy…”
“Well, I’ve been dating this guy…kind of want you to check him out.”
“Honey, that sounds exciting. Be happy to have him, what’s his name?”
“Sam, Sam Adams. He’s from Montreal.”
“I’ll be very happy to meet him. Curtis is bringing his roommate, Bob Sato, along. And, Janey, I have to tell you that your father is hurting about what’s happened. Please, don’t be judgmental. Remember, he’s your father, and despite everything he loves you kids, misses you so much.”
Jane said something about her mother not taking Don back.
“Jane,” Leanne retorted, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but it will be my decision, won’t it?”