Jacko’s kindness was the only thing that made that first night bearable. We didn’t ask why he had taken a shine to us; grateful for a friendly face after everything that had happened, we simply soaked up and basked in his hospitality. He helped us carry our meagre possessions into the abandoned shack adjoining his, helped us cut up the ruined tent we had found, helped us hang the pieces curtain-like around our new home so that we could have a modicum of privacy.
All around us, the shadows grew thicker as dusk approached.
‘Bugger, I forgot,’ Jacko said from nowhere. ‘I’ve got something for you both.’ He shuffled out of the shack, leaving Ruby and I to keep working.
‘You okay?’ I asked, even though I knew the answer.
She didn’t reply. We worked on in silence. I wanted to comfort her, but didn’t know how.
‘Yoo-hoo, anyone home?’ Jacko soon called out.
I was grateful for the interruption. And despite our tiredness, Ruby and I both smiled as he forced aside the broken door.
‘Here,’ he said, pulling something from his pocket, limping across the shack.
It was a rusty hand-cranked lantern, a tiny godsend.
‘Cheers.’
‘No worries.’
Jacko and Ruby started to knock up a makeshift bed, using the bent poles we had found and whatever strips of tent were left over. I cranked the lantern until I thought my wrist would break, finally hung it from a nail that had been driven into the wall. Jude lay flat on the raw dirt floor, watching us work, occasionally wagging his tail. Sometimes, he would look at us so pitifully that you would swear he had never been patted or scratched.
When the bed was done, I gratefully took a seat. Ruby and Jacko joined me; we sat side by side, it was a bit of a squeeze.
‘Think of it as cosy,’ Jacko said.
‘I’m not complaining.’
And it’s true, I wasn’t. If it hadn’t been for Tobe’s absence, I would have called myself vaguely content. The bed was more comfortable than I had expected, we had enough water to see us through until morning, and it didn’t feel like we were in any immediate danger. As well, Jacko had generously shared his rations, refrained from prying, and hadn’t asked any rude questions.
It was almost—almost—peaceful.
‘Excuse me,’ Ruby said, yawning loudly, surprising herself, smiling shyly.
I caught her yawn as easily as getting sunburnt. It had been a long day.
‘Okay, I’ll leave you be,’ Jacko said, laughing. He made it to his feet.
I joined him, held out my hand. ‘Ruby and I can’t thank you enough.’
We shook.
‘No worries, Bill. If we don’t look out for each other, what’s the bloody point?’
‘Too right,’ I said.
Jacko’s old-fashioned attitude made me smile. The world would be very different if everyone thought as he did.
‘Ruby?’ he asked.
She looked at him with sleep-heavy eyes.
‘It was a pleasure to meet you.’
She smiled. ‘Nice to meet you, too.’ She reached down, scratched Jude behind the ears. ‘Go on, good boy.’ He jumped up, licked Ruby’s hand, ran to Jacko, sat on his feet, and looked at him with love.
‘I’m off, then. Pleasant dreams.’
We bid him goodnight as he disappeared behind the makeshift curtain with Jude scrabbling at his heels. I heard him wedge the broken door in place, enter the alley, and call out to someone in a booming voice. Jude barked playfully. Someone else laughed.
Ruby once again yawned loudly. She stretched her arms, cracked her back. Still standing, I smiled to myself as she cottoned on to the fact that she had the bed to herself.
‘Good one,’ she muttered. She fell back. She shuffled around until she was lying flat.
‘I’ll, uh, take the floor, I guess.’
She didn’t answer. I sat down, threw my legs out straight, propped my pack behind me. Holes in the roof let moonlight in, a beautiful shining silver-blue.
‘Goodnight, Ruby,’ I said. ‘Sleep well.’
‘You too, Bill,’ she replied in a thick voice.
She was soon snoring. I got undressed and wormed around until I was comfortable enough, lying flat with my pack as a pillow.
The floor was more a slice of jagged earth than a decent place to kip.
‘Any port …’ I said to myself.
I stared at the sky through one of the holes in the roof. A spluttering orange glow occasionally broke the smear of stars and inky black; the insomnia sounds of the camp slowly became clearer, voices cheering far in the distance, soft as campfire whispers. I strained to understand it, never quite making it out. Ruby didn’t stir; oblivious to everything, she kept snoring.
The hand-cranked lantern hanging from the wall started flickering. A moment later, it went out, plunging the room into darkness.
‘Tobe,’ I murmured, barely knowing what I was saying.
His absence had never made itself felt so strongly. Instead of huddling in the dark, he would have cracked a joke or hurled a childish insult at me. He would have done something—anything—to make our new home bearable.
In the same breath, I cursed his name and hoped that he was okay.
The sound of Ruby crying out freed me from the semi-coma I had fallen into—I was getting to my feet before I was really awake, the memory of my wounds a faraway thing. I toppled, of course, my injured leg giving way. I caught myself on the wall, barely missing a rusty nail that stuck out like a jouster’s bayonet.
I screamed in pain, but managed to cut it off when I saw that Ruby was still asleep.
‘Sorry,’ I whispered.
I found my stick and steadied myself. Ruby started thrashing around, drenched in sweat. She said Tobe’s name once or twice, others that I didn’t recognise. Everything else was a garbled mess.
It was hard to deny the absurd urge to ask her if she was all right.
I crouched beside her, stroked her head, and told her that everything would be fine. She settled a little but kept crying. I did my best to soothe her. Lost in the dark, time seemed to stand still. I began to cry with Ruby, hoping that she would be okay under my watch. People can only be so adaptable; they can only stretch so far. The world needs kids like her not to break; it needs them to keep bouncing back, no matter what happens.
I didn’t know whose life I would rather have.
At some point, Ruby stopped crying. I stood up, worked the cramp out of my limbs, tried to ignore the pain in my leg.
I was awake; wide awake. I needed a smoke.
I felt my way past the makeshift curtain, limped across the shack, managed to shove aside the broken door, entered the alley. The murmuring quiet was a little louder, but was still a far-off sound; the orange glow still spluttered in the sky; the alley was empty, the buildings lining it ruined. I breathed deeply, sucking in the cold night air. I patted my pockets, cursed myself for forgetting to bring a possum skin with me.
‘Bill, you okay?’ a voice asked.
I squinted, took my glasses off, cleaned them on my shirt, put them back on. A tiny red ember was all I could see.
‘It’s me, mate.’
Tobe? How?
The ember moved slightly. A shadow detached itself from one of the walls. Jacko stepped into a pool of moonlight, smiling crookedly around his bush tobacco.
‘How’s it going?’ he asked.
He pulled another hand-cranked lantern from his pocket, fired it up and held it aloft. Two cracked wooden crates emerged from the gloom, a patchwork cushion on one, a small metal flask and two chipped glasses on the other.
‘Expecting company?’ I asked.
‘You never know. Now, please, sit. Join an old man for a midnight drink.’
I gratefully lowered myself onto one of the crates. Jacko seemingly read my mind, passing me a leather tobacco pouch as I sat down. I rolled some up, felt around for Tobe’s lighter, and cursed my forgetful nature.
‘Here you go,’ Jacko said, smiling softly, passing me a lighter that was exactly like Tobe’s.
‘Cheers,’ I said, nonchalantly, trying to hide my surprise.
I lit up. It was smooth, the smoke full of flavours I couldn’t place, nothing like the wild stuff we harvested that never shook the taste of the bush. I beamed, unable to help myself.
‘You’re welcome,’ Jacko said.
The ruined buildings lining the alley glowed blue and cold, as ethereal as summer clouds. They had the ravaged dignity of dead trees under a full moon. They were almost beautiful.
Jacko poured two drinks, filling the glasses with a deep brown liquid.
‘So, is everything all right?’ he asked.
‘It’s Ruby, she was having some kind of nightmare.’
‘Sorry, mate. It happens to the best of us.’ He picked up one of the glasses, thrust it into my hand. ‘Here you go. To you and yours, may the sun shine on you both.’
The whiskey tasted as good as it looked, a delicious remnant of the past.
‘Not bad, eh? One of the perks of being an old man …’
Not really knowing what to say, I nodded a wordless agreement.
‘Is your little girl okay?’ Jacko asked, quickly getting us back on track.
I snorted some of the precious whiskey out my nose.
‘What? What’s so funny?’
‘Nothing, it’s just that, ah, she’s not mine. I’ve no idea who or where her folks are, or if they’re still alive. She kind of adopted me and a mate when we found her out on the land.’
Jacko swore aloud. ‘She was alone out there?’
‘Yeah, she’s as tough as old boots.’
We fell silent. I rolled some more tobacco; Jacko poured a second round. Despite his age, he had no trouble keeping up. The far-off sound of voices had grown louder again. Accompanying them were strange thuds and thumps that sometimes followed weird grunts, pained cries, more cheers from the crowd.
‘What is that?’
‘That’s how the Creeps keep this place safe. If you want a fight, that’s where you go—you tap someone on the shoulder and get to it. No one gets hurt who isn’t willing, and the meatheads can dump some of their macho bullshit. And if watching is more your thing, you can choose a seat and enjoy the show instead.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding …’
‘You’d be surprised how effective it is. Women and kids get sent to the line first, same as it ever was. People like you and me, we’re not much of a priority. And everyone knows what happens when you cram a bunch of blokes together, especially when there’s fuck all to do.’
I couldn’t help smile. ‘Buggery and biffo, eh?’
‘Boys will be boys. At least the Creeps’ way stops anyone innocent getting hurt.’
I could picture the fights—desperate, brutal acts carried out by lost men turned dangerously mean through no fault of their own. And I could picture the crowds—crazed, blood-hungry, lost, as savage as the fighters.
‘Not for me,’ I said.
‘Nor me.’ Jacko once again held his glass aloft. ‘To the health of civilisation.’
I met his toast. We drank deep. Jacko poured two more.
‘She’s a good kid, your Ruby. Even if she isn’t really yours. But if you don’t mind me saying, I hope she gets shipped north soon. This is no place for the young.’
From what I had seen, life in the camp seemed cruel and harsh and unfair. In fact, it seemed exactly the same as life everywhere else, no better and no worse.
‘Is it really that bad?’
Jacko looked at me coldly. ‘I’ve helped too many of my own kids board that train. I smiled while I saw them off, each and every time, even though I knew that I’d never see them again. I was glad—glad—that they were leaving. It meant they could have a chance above the line.’ He spat into the dust. ‘We don’t live here, we survive.’
I looked around at the endless shantytown sprawl. I marvelled at the idea of a steady supply of food and water. I listened to the muted brawling that was designed to keep me safe. I remembered life at home, those too-frequent days of hunger and thirst. I tried to imagine what it must have become, now that the people who had made it more than a mere town were presumably gone. I didn’t want to picture them being rounded up by the Creeps, or out on the road, or lying dead somewhere, gunned down while trying to defend their own. And I couldn’t stop thinking about Tobe rotting in his cell.
Something inside me shifted. ‘Jacko, how long’s it been since you set foot out there?’
I waved my arm to encompass the blind, thirsty beast the land had become. He didn’t answer me, didn’t need to.
‘I could get used to it here,’ I said defiantly.
Jacko’s face crumpled and he fell quiet. Staring into the middle distance, avoiding my eye—he obviously didn’t like where I had decided to hang my hat. I shuffled in my chair, embarrassed. Jacko ignored me completely. With much chagrin, I got to my feet.
‘Sorry. And sorry about your kids.’
He looked at me, smiling sadly. ‘Cheers. Just look after your own, okay? Make sure she doesn’t miss the breakfast bell—it’ll be light before you know it.’
I smiled, glad that my apology had been accepted. ‘You bet.’
‘Well, goodnight then.’
‘Yeah, you too. And thanks again for today.’
‘No worries,’ he said, waving me away.
Sleep came easily, but the morning sun disturbed it too soon. I rolled over, already sweating, my back aching, my leg burning. For a blessed moment, I had no memory of where I was or what had happened to me. I stared at holes in the ceiling that now let hot sunshine in, rather than cold moonlight.
All too quickly, everything came back. I groaned low; a mournful sound.
‘G’day, Bill.’
I turned my head. Ruby was sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling wide, looking bright. She showed no trace of her troubled sleep, was more on top of things than I could ever hope to be.
I suddenly felt old.
‘Yeah, g’day,’ I mumbled.
I groaned again, let my head fall back. Bells tolled somewhere in the distance, counting out the breakfast hour.
‘Bill, we’d better go.’
I groaned a third time.
‘Useless bastard—Tobe was right.’
At the mention of his name, I decided that I could cope with whatever had to happen next. I buttoned up my coveralls, slowly got to my feet. Ruby passed me my stick and an almost-empty canteen. I finished off the canteen, felt a little better.
The urge to do my thing overwhelmed me.
‘Uh, excuse me a sec.’
Ruby smirked.
Bursting at the seams, I limped outside as fast as I could. I stopped dead; there were people everywhere, streaming toward the courthouse. Privacy was a non-existent thing—I ground my teeth before spotting an empty, collapsing building on the far-side of the alley. I barged through the crowd, stumbled into the ruin, tried hard to ignore the ripe stench of waste, near tore my coveralls, managed to find some relief.
I tottered back into the alley, smiling stupidly.
‘You right?’ Ruby asked, sitting outside our shack, perched on the broken stool we had found.
‘You bet.’
‘Well, come on then, shift your arse.’
I did as she said and we followed the ravenous throng. Our fellow holdouts were quieter than I had expected; only a low murmur of morning conversation disturbed the quiet air. We shuffled down alleys, passed ruined buildings, the crowd constantly growing thicker.
Ruby’s eyes scanned back and forth, checking every face. I was chilled by the sheer number of bodies, by the stink of resigned desperation they exuded. I pitied them, starting to hate the fact that I was now one of them.
‘Jacko!’ Ruby called.
Overwhelmed, I was pathetically grateful that she had kept a look out.
He was heading towards us, moving against the flow. I felt a guilty pang for the offense I had caused the previous night. When he was close enough that I could see the bloodshot whites of his eyes, he tipped me a wink to let me know everything was alright.
‘G’day.’
‘G’day.’
Jacko waved away a fly, slowly bent at the knee.
‘Ruby, how are you this morning?’
‘Not bad.’
‘Good one.’
He stood back up, frowning slightly.
‘You folks had better hurry along,’ he suggested. ‘There’s already quite a queue.’
Ruby shot me a dirty look. I swear that I blushed.
‘Right, then.’
I pushed myself hard to keep up with Ruby. Once or twice, she looked back, making sure that she hadn’t lost me. Each time, I heaved a wheezing sigh of relief. And still we kept walking, swept along by the torrent of people.
We hit the ruins of the manicured garden encircling the courthouse. A vast mob of dispirited holdouts met us; there were thousands of them, more than I had ever seen in one place.
Ruby froze; a rabbit in headlights. Slack of jaw and wide of eye, I crashed into her.
‘Sorry.’
She didn’t answer. For a weighted moment, we looked over the crowd together. At some fuzzy point in the distance, it changed from a formless mass into a series of incredibly long single-file lines, each one terminating at an open-faced canvas tent.
There were dozens of lines, dozens of tents.
‘Ruby, you okay?’
She didn’t answer. I looked at her. She was staring at the courthouse, her eyes hard, and her little-girl wonder completely gone.
‘Tobe …’
I followed her gaze. Lining the courthouse steps were twenty or more Creeps, their hands on their guns. When I caught the eye of one of them, he smiled an evil smile.
‘Ruby? We should get a move on.’
This time, I led the way. Ruby shadowed me, only relaxing when we reached the end of one of the lines and disappeared from the Creeps’ sight.
‘You alright?’
She scooted ahead, looked over her shoulder, winked.
‘No worries.’
We waited, the heat baking us in our skin. I cursed myself aloud—neither of us had thought to bring any water. That was my fault, not Ruby’s—now that Tobe was gone, I had to be the adult, to be the one in charge. A black cloud of self-doubt hung over me as we kept waiting. Soon, thirst was consuming us. I apologised profusely to Ruby, but she sulked and looked anywhere but at me.
When our turn came, we couldn’t finish our water fast enough.
Bloody blow-ins is what Jacko labelled us when we made it back to our shack and I realised that we had now run out of water until the next morning.
‘Useless dickheads,’ he added, almost as an afterthought.
But he still wrenched himself off the broken wooden crate that sat outside his door, inviting me to take his place. I gladly sat down, my leg burning once again. Ruby sat cross-legged on the ground next to Jude, started scratching him behind the ears. Jacko disappeared into his shack. For a long time, he made a clatter-and-bang ruckus as he rummaged around for something.
‘I’m thirsty,’ Ruby said.
She didn’t complain, but simply noted the fact. Even so, her words cut me deep.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You’ll learn, it only has to happen once,’ Jacko said, reappearing.
He set down a battered tin tray bearing two steaming cups of billy-tea and two unopened canteens.
‘Here, make it last.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Sure as shit I am.’
Ruby took a canteen, looked at Jacko, smiled softly, and muttered a thank you. She cracked the canteen and had a small sip, being careful not to guzzle it.
‘Cheers,’ she said.
‘You’re welcome.’
Something startled Jude—he bounded to his feet and darted down the alley, barking madly. Ruby stood up, stretched her back, and gave me a strange look. I said nothing, confused as always.
‘Back in a sec,’ she said, rolling her eyes.
She ran after Jude, disappearing around a corner.
‘Kids,’ Jacko muttered with more than a little affection.
He held up one of the cups of tea.
‘Fancy a cuppa?’
Struck dumb, I nodded.
‘Don’t be embarrassed. Not that many folks ask an old man the time of day anymore—it’s nice to meet some that do.’
‘Well, thanks again.’
The tea was bitter and earthy, but it was still tea.
‘Jacko, you don’t know how long it’s been,’ I said, sighing deeply.
He laughed. I took another sip. It was exquisite, divine—I actually smacked my lips. Once Jacko passed me his leather tobacco-pouch and his gleaming lighter, the picture was perfect—I rolled some tobacco and lit up, grinning like that ridiculous cat in that strange story from long ago.
‘You alright?’ Jacko asked.
I laughed quietly, unable to help myself.
‘Yeah, I am. I just …’ I waved in the air, stupidly and enthusiastically. ‘I just didn’t expect it to be like this.’
I leaned against the wall of Jacko’s shack, waved a fly away, sighed with a kind-of satisfaction.
‘So, what happens next?’ I asked with a smile.
Jacko snorted.
‘This happens—we sit around and wait. Or if you feel like it, you can try hawking your wares and flogging your labour down at the square, or volunteering for a work detail.’
‘Fair enough.’