CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
The Good Always Outweighs the Bad Candice . . .
Meeting Mr. DeMartini, I mean Pop, was the best engagement present I could have received. I’ve prayed long and hard for this meeting to come to pass. God sure knows how to blow your mind and answer prayers definitely in His time, when we’re ready. A year ago, I wasn’t in any condition to see or deal with that man. I fought Alonzo when he wanted to bring the kids to see his mom. There was no way I wanted my kids anywhere near his father. I just didn’t feel comfortable. But that feeling subsided, and no matter how the meeting could have gone, I was prepared.
Honestly, there wasn’t anything he could have said that would have made me change my mind or made me feel uncomfortable. Well, I take that back. If he had done something to one of my babies, I probably would have pushed him and his walker down the steps. Lord, forgive me. I know that was wrong for me to say. In any event, I can see clearly where Alonzo gets his charm from. On the other side of all that pain, Pop is a mushy old teddy bear. We ended up staying the night there. He wanted to help put the kids to bed and make breakfast in the morning for them. Mrs. DeMartini, I mean Greta, said he hasn’t boiled water in probably over twenty years. That made my heart smile. It’s all about forgiveness.
I am just so happy that things are turning around in everyone’s lives. We’ve been through some terrible storms, but we made it through them. Right now, all my prayers consist of me asking God to continue raining goodness down on us. I need it to stay this way. Even with all the positivity that I shoved down everyone’s throat, I was at a breaking point. When I found Jenna in Ms. Jasmine’s closet, I literally could feel the world crashing down on me instantly. After Nakita, I didn’t want to have to see anyone else in such a low place. I know it’s unavoidable. I just don’t want to see it.
I am beyond excited that things are turning around. Jenna attends church now. Not in the living room with me, but at an actual church, and she loves it. She said that she wouldn’t allow herself to become a religious fanatic and that she just needs the relationship with God. Alonzo and I now also attend Mount Gideon Missionary Baptist Church with Jenna. I understand why she feels at home there. For one, the love that you feel walking through the door is contagious. But it’s really like a refuge, where all types of people gather.
The kids have been attending Sunday school and children’s church. They love it. I want the best for my babies. I know with having God in their lives starting from their youth, they will have the best. Darren’s and Dylan’s behavior has been better as well. Going to therapy and attending the Sunday services, I believe, has turned out to be the perfect recipe for them.
Mount Gideon has a full-service ministry for any and everything. My favorite one is couples’ ministry. Alonzo and I have gone out on several couples’ dates, and it has been great. Just seeing other couples our age love on one another is teaching me a little more about how to express my love for Alonzo and love on him. Primarily, I’ve thought harder about the respect I need to give him as a man. Basically, it mirrors the same love, respect, and honor that I have for God. Without question, I’m not to put anyone or anything before God, but I am motivated to treat my husband like the king that he is.
I cannot believe I am getting married. Candice Brown, me, is days away from becoming Mrs. DeMartini. The girls are here at my place so we can go for our fitting. Simone and Tracy live in New York now. That still sounds crazy to me, just thinking about it. Who would have thought an extended vacation would lead to them picking up and relocating? I sure never would have imagined it. I am proud of them, though. They’re in the process of opening up a day-care center. Tracy said there really aren’t too many in the town that they live in. They also hate the fact that Ethan and Evan have some girls sitting for them in their homes while they’re at work. Given that, Tracy and Simone decided to save their men and make a living out of it. That was a funny conversation I had with them a few weeks ago, if I do say so myself.
“Candice, I need your advice,” Tracy said when she came into my office and we saw each other for the first time in quite a while.
“Well, hello to you too, Tracy. You pick up and move away on me, and that’s how you greet me?”
“We have invited you to come down numerous times. You have declined each and every time.”
“I know. I had too much going on here. I am planning a wedding, you know?”
“Uh, yeah, that’s why I am here.”
“Fine.”
“Speaking of weddings, you know you will eventually have to consummate your marriage, don’t you?”
“I do.” I blushed.
“You’re blushing? You did it? Were you afraid? Oh my God! Tell me everything. Wait, not everything.” She side-eyed me.
“Are you done?” I asked her.
“Yes. Go ahead.”
“No, I have not. We decided to wait until our wedding night. It has been hard for him, and recently for me as well. I have been attending bodywork and massage therapy. Let me tell you, it has been amazing.”
“Getting a massage is helping you? You want people touching you like that?”
“This is why you need to attend. It’s not what you think. Bodywork helped me learn how to be touched again. For so long, as you know, the only touch that I got was always abusive, sexually. I never knew that touch could be otherwise. I forgot because of all the abuse. The therapist helped me to trust again and relax. I learned how to regain control of my body. It took time, but I am okay with hugging and kissing Alonzo now. I used to kiss him with my hands at my sides, because I was afraid. I haven’t felt desire for him in forever, and lately, I feel it creeping up on me.”
“That is huge, Candice. Like, what do they do? We all need to be in something like this. Do you think they have something like this in New York?”
“I am sure they’re everywhere. What? You’re thinking about your chocolate twin lover boy in a romantic way?”
“Hush up,” she said as the color left her face. “I mean, I get butterflies when he’s around or I know he’s coming, but that’s it. Just tell me what they do there, please.”
“Different exercises to help you reconnect with your body and not see it or sex as a bad thing.”
“Yes, that is something I need to consider. Now back to what I wanted to ask you.”
“I’m listening,” I told her.
“Since you know about having a business, I wanted, you to help me and Simone look into opening a day-care center in our town. There isn’t any there, and Ethan and Evan need the girls in a facility, rather than having some young girls sitting in their house with their daughters all day.”
“So, what you’re saying is, you’re jealous of these women and want to open up a business to save your man from them?” I burst into laughter.
“You’re not funny, Candice.”
“You’re really not,” Simone agreed as she made her way into my office.
“I am sorry. It is funny,” I tell them.
It was quite comical and still is to this day, when I think about it. Their ribbon cutting is next month, and they found a bodywork facility thirty minutes away from them, which neither of them can stop talking about. I’m proud of all of them. Judith is a whole new person; she too has started massage therapy. Her mom, Cindy, is the sweetest thing in the world. She fits right in with us, and Ms. J cannot contain her emotions when everyone is around. I swear, she is more emotional than I am.
Although she wasn’t awarded custody of Samantha’s twins, as their father’s parents appeared out of nowhere at the last minute, she is still grateful. The twins’ grandparents agreed to keep in touch and make sure Micah is in his sisters’ lives. Samantha is in rehab. The courts sent her there this time. She was ordered to go inpatient or go to prison. Inpatient looked so much more appealing to her. She obeyed without uttering a word. Hopefully, this is what she needs, and she will be able to get her life back on track.
The most disturbing thing, and a missing link, in all this is Dr. Binet. My heart aches for her. Between losing Sienna and being a therapist, she created a recipe for disaster. I pray every day that she recovers. Still, I am really worried about her, because each time that Ms. J visits her, she says Brianne appears worse than she did at her previous visit. I cannot go and see her like that. Regardless of the downhill slide her life has taken, she will always be the main ingredient in making me the woman that I am today. Her sessions saved my life, and because of her, I am able to contribute to saving the lives of women who have experienced the traumatic events that I’ve overcome. I am forever indebted to Brianne, Dr. Binet. I won’t ever give up on her. God can do exceedingly more than I can ask or contemplate, so there is still hope for her.
The Wedding