The Therapist

Today is the day that most little girls dream of. I wasn’t one of those girls. I didn’t get a chance to dream about my world and my own future, because nightmares were handed to me as a reality instead. Right now, I am at a loss for words, just thinking about how far I have come. In fact, how far all of us have come. Tracy and Simone started a whole new life in New York, and they’re happier than they have ever been. Judith is living her best life as well. Reconciling with her mom and siblings has given her a whole new outlook on life. They’re even dating. None of us ever thought it’d be possible, but it’s happening.

God is giving all of us a second look on what life has to offer. Dad is beyond ecstatic. He has full custody of Casey and Cassidy. They’re about a year or so older than Amiya. I swear, they’ve grown into mini mes. That’s probably what sent Mommy dearest over the edge. Thank heavens she has no idea where we stay, and hopefully, it stays that way. While at the court hearing, she threatened to fight for her children. That was another day that I prayed for. Well, not having it done in a courtroom, but I received the closure that I needed. That moment in court is seared into my memory.

“The court has heard testimony from both parties,” the judge declared, “and in reviewing the statements as well as the caseworker’s notes, the court has determined that it is in the best interest of the children, Casey and Cassidy, to award custody to the father, Dale Mathews. The court is adjourned.”

“You cannot give my babies to that bigamist. He will ruin them, just like he ruined the rest of his bastard children,” Camilla yelled.

Ignoring her outburst, I practically jumped into Dad’s arms.

Jenna, on the other hand, focused her attention on Camilla. “Dad is the best thing that could have happened for all of us. You are a sick woman. You’re in dire need of a mental health evaluation and Jesus!” she declared and then stormed off, in tears.

“Don’t you dare come near me,” Camilla ordered as I approached her.

“I just want you to know something. Because of what you weren’t to and for me, I am the mother that I am to my children. I thank you for not being the mother that I yearned for you to be. It gave me the drive to be everything that you weren’t for me. My children know what love is all from you not loving me. Ironic, isn’t it? I’m not even mad at you, either. I forgive you. I wish you the best, Mother.”

That conversation could have gone so many different ways, but growth, healing, and maturity allowed me to see the situation for what it was. Don’t get me wrong. I wish things could be better. I wish they could have turned out different, but the truth of the matter is, they didn’t. Therefore, I was left with two choices: I could pick up the pieces and piece together a better life, or I could wallow in self-pity, anger, and disappointment. I’m glad I chose to pick up the pieces to happiness.

Looking in the mirror at myself right now as I sit in the dressing room at the church brings tears to my eyes. I remember when this was one of the hardest things for me to do. Mother’s face was all that I wanted to see, so that she’d love me. Today she is the last person I’d like to see in this mirror. I love everything about the person gazing back at me.

“Isn’t she radiant?” Ms. J tearfully kisses me on the cheek.

“Please stop it, you two. You’re going to mess everyone’s makeup up,” Jenna says, butting in.

“You’re right. Let’s try to pull ourselves together,” Ms. J agrees.

“How can I? Look at all of you. You all are beautiful. I am so glad I am able to share today with you. I only have one wish that would make this day even better,” I say.

“What is it? Do we have time to make it happen?” Jenna panics.

“No, we cannot fix it unless we can turn back the hands of time.”

“What are you talking about, C—” Jenna cuts herself short, realizing what’s missing.

“I just wish Nakita were here,” I say and fall apart.

“She is here with us, baby. She’s in your heart. Nakita will always be with you, because she’s in your heart,” Ms. J tells me in a soothing tone of voice.

“She’s right, Candice. You know Nakita would cuss you out if you didn’t pull yourself together and prepare to meet your man at that altar. Besides, she is with you. Look at Adrianna. She looks and acts just like her mama.” She points as the kids make their way into the dressing room.

Boy, is she right. Adrianna is the spitting image of Nakita and is quick tempered just like her. I chuckle, just thinking about how feisty that little one can be.

I peek outside the dressing room, and as I take a look at everyone who has gathered, my tears evaporate and happiness infiltrates my entire being. I could not have asked for a better outcome. Cassidy and Casey are flower girls with Amiya and Adrianna. All the boys are a part of the bridal party as well. My babies are the ring bearers. They look so handsome.

“Oh, look at you, Dad,” I whisper when he steps up to me. Tears make another entrance.

Dad looks so handsome. He’s usually in sweats, a T-shirt, and sneakers. I don’t remember the last time saw him in a suit.

“Hello there, princess. Stop fussing over your old man. Leave that to the ladies.”

“Dad, don’t even go there,” Jenna says right behind me and rolls her eyes.

“I am messing with you, Candice. Seriously, I need you to get your face cleaned up and to put that beautiful gown on, so I can walk the most beautiful bride that I’ve ever seen down the aisle.”

“He’s right. Reeky, can you do something about the girl’s racoon eyes? Ms. J says as she stands next to me in the dressing-room doorway. “I don’t need my babies coming out here, looking a mess. I’ll help get these little babies settled until it’s time.” Ms. J turns, calls the kids over, and escorts them out of the dressing room.

I go back over to the mirror and take a seat. Reeky, the makeup artist, freshens my face, but then tears well up in my eyes as I admire my gown.

The dress is perfect for a princess. It is sleeveless, drapes the floor, and has a sweetheart neckline. What I love most about it is the way it laces up in the back and has beaded crystal sequins with a hint of lavender. Purple was Nakita’s favorite color. She loved every shade of purple, so I added the lavender in the dress in her honor. I’m so in love with this dress. My train is to die for; it is so long, and it’s adorned with the same crystal sequins throughout. Perfect dress to wear, because I am marrying the perfect man, a man who will love me the way that I need to be loved. I cannot wait for him to see me in it.

Of course, the flower girls have dresses that are nearly identical to my gown. Not a mirror image, but they are made from the same material and have the same beading. My girls have on lavender floor-length gowns. The gowns are the perfect fit and complement all four of them.

* * *

“Well, my darling, it’s that time,” Dad says as he takes me by the hand. He leads me to the entrance to the church.

“I’m so nervous, Dad,” I say when we step outside.

“You will do great. I am so proud of you. My life is complete because of you girls. I love you, baby girl. Now let’s go and melt Alonzo’s heart some more.”

This is the most surreal experience I’ve ever had in my life. I take a deep breath as the church doors open. Everything around me seems like a blur as I walk through the doorway. Out of my peripheral, I can see our guests beaming at me. It’s impossible to look their way. I can’t take my eyes off my husband-to-be at the end of the long aisle. Tears threaten to fall, and I give in to them in defeat. I am floating. I don’t want this moment to end. I take my time walking down the aisle to join my love.

Once I come to a stop near the altar, Pastor Pennon begins to speak. His words are all a blur to me until he poses a question to my dad.

“Do you wish to give the hand of your daughter Candice in marriage to Alonzo DeMartini?” Pastor Pennon asks.

“I cannot give my baby girl away. I am allowing Alonzo to borrow her for the balance of their lives,” Dad says, his voice cracking. Turning to me, he whispers, “It’s okay to cry, princess. Hell, it appears to be contagious. I love you, baby girl. That man right there is compassionate. He has made you happier than you’ve ever been in your life. I give thanks to God that he found you. You both have my blessing and support. I guess I am giving you away, princess.” He lets go of my hand.

When I take my position at the altar, Alonzo grabs my hand, and I feel tears do a number on my face.

“You’re breathtaking. I am the luckiest man in the world,” Alonzo whispers, choking up.

Pulling us from our moment, Pastor Pennon continues. “On behalf of Alonzo and Candice, I would like to thank you all for being here this afternoon. For taking the time to be a part of this day. This day would not be possible without their love for one another, without God’s grace, and without the love and support of everyone gathered here today.”

Dre, Matt, Giovanni, and Anthony whistle, clap, and cheer.

“Please be seated,” Pastor Pennon says, trying to regain control of the ceremony.

“Thank you,” he continues once everyone is seated. “On this day we celebrate the marriage of Alonzo and Candice. A physical and emotional joining that has the promise of a lifetime. And at this time, Derek Young will open us in prayer.”

Mr. Derek makes his way to the pulpit. “Let us bow our heads in prayer. Heavenly Father, Alonzo and Candice are here today to stand before you and become husband and wife. We ask that you join them in this union and continue to pour your love and favor on their lives. What you have joined together cannot be broken. We thank you for your covering. In Jesus’s name, we pray. Amen.” He leaves the pulpit and returns to his seat.

“Now we will have the exchanging of the rings and the vows,” the pastor says, “The bride and groom have prepared their vows.”

Alonzo clears his throat as tears stream down his face. “I, Alonzo, take you, Candice, to be my lawful wedded wife. I promise to be everything you need me to be. When you’re sick, I will be there. When you are tired, I will be there. I will be there through all the good times and the bad. I promise to love you without a second thought. I will be your biggest cheerleader and will encourage you to continue achieving all your heart’s desires. I want to grow old with you, Candice. I will never lie to you, Candice. I will love you until the very last beat of my heart. I will cherish you and our beautiful children for as long as I live.” He pauses. “Can I kiss her now?” he asks Pastor Pennon.

“We’re almost there,” pastor says, and his voice cracks.

Now it is my turn. “Alonzo, today I give you my whole heart and every single part of me. You are my only true love. I love you, Alonzo. I have loved you since I was fourteen years old. I thank you for never giving up on me. For being a man of your word and for showing me that there are real men who love, respect, and cherish women. I thank you for loving me through the heartache and pain, even when I didn’t know how to love you or myself. You are mine—the missing piece to my puzzle. You are the only man that I’ll ever want and need. Even through sickness and health. Come what may, I will always be right by your side. I cannot wait to begin making everlasting memories with you, now that we’re officially starting the rest of our lives together.”

“Now you may kiss—” Pastor begins, but Alonzo is a pace ahead of him.

Alonzo pulls me in, lifts my veil, and allows our lips to become one for the first time as husband and wife.

Trying to hold back his tears, Pastor Pennon announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor and privilege to be the first to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Alonzo and Candice DeMartini.”

The weeping attendees erupt in cheers!

The End